THE BALLAD OF A SPEEDWAY COWBOY.
I am just a dust in the wind,
But not a sand in anybody’s eyes.
Man had a sturdy neck, brown from the sun. He was so consumed by something going on in the ocean, that haven’t heard, how bicyclist pulled over right behind him.
- What do you see there? - Asked women, after few minutes watching him.
- Orcas. There two of them, racing in the water. – He smiled, and gave her binocular.
Orcas were playfully jumping up in the air, and then diving back to the ocean. It was quite a show.
- I never saw them in this area before.
- Me neither. – Answered man quietly.
- Do you come here often?
- Once in a while. When it’s sunny.
Yes, I love when it so warm and sunny, and air is so crisp from the salt. She enjoyed sitting next to this strong man with white hair and sturdy neck. She felt something good about him.
- Would you like to see some photos? – He asked.
- Women nodded:
- Yes, I would.
He went to his old Volkswagen bus, parked across the road and returned back with yellow manila envelope, full of photos.
There was some very old once, black and white, skinny kid with shaved head. Big eyes, open mouth.
- I grew up in the orphanage. Later, as a teenager, I lived with Mary and Doug, my foster parents. They become my family. They are long passed now. Doug was the one, who introduced me to a car racing world. It was his passion, and then, it was become mine. Together we spend all our weekends in speedway pits, there always something to do and always someone can use extra hands.
He showed her some Polaroid photos, with a gangly teenager, proudly holding helmet and widely smiling to the camera.
- Now, guess, who is this? – He pulled another photo from the pile.
Heavy set man with a white bird was sitting on motorcycle. His hair, also white, was down to his shoulder. He was wearing motorcyclists gear and red bandana on his neck.
- Look like Santa Claus to me. – She smiled, looking at the photo.
- Yep. That was my nick name at that time. Sometimes, during holiday season, I even impersonated him, at old tavern “Anchor Inn”. I lost nearly 100 pounds sense then.
- How did you do that? Honestly, you look a lot better now.
He nodded:
- I feel better too. Much better, then year ago, when I died.
It was a “Worlds outlaw”. Big event. Biggest of the year. I was racing my “Hornet”, but my car, 85 “Celica”, was not nearly as good, as the one, that main competitors had. I did not do it to win. More – for the love of the game. More – to feel high from the speed and wind in my face. I just loved being there, among friends, fellow racers.
That night one of them, Travis, proposed to his girlfriend. Giant letters appeared on the tabloid: “Ashley, I love you, please be my wife!”
Who could say no to this? Especially, if man who is proposing, wearing racing suite, he is young, 22 years old handsome boy. He was winning a lot. Travis started racing at age 7. He had 9 seasons championship, already had 550 plus Feature wins, and held 25 plus truck record, was in top 10 every night.
He was amazing kid! Every time I asked him, while running into him in the pit:” How are you, Travis?” And his answer always was the same:” Another day in paradise, Tom. Another day in paradise”.
And she said: “Yes”.
All that night was like a blur. I totaled my car in accident, was injured, but refused to go to hospital. I thought to myself, I must to see Travis winning. He should win, tonight is HIS night.
Air was thick from the roar of the people, blending with roar of the powerful engines, there they are, 500 series, finalists. There is Travis purple car, number 8, as he was jokingly saying, lucky number, symbol of infinity, everlasting life. He was everything, I ever wanted to be, if I could start my life all over.
Green flag indicated start of the event. 25 laps. I could hardly see them in the thick clouds of dust, but, for sure, could hear! Everything was going great! Until… All I saw, that judge was swinging red flag, I saw purple car exploded and disappeared in the flames and black smog, other cars were pulled over, people running towards to him. And that moment my heart stop beating.
I was pronounced dead, in the ambulance. Then, no one know, why, it re-started again. 40 minutes later. I was dead 40 minutes. That what doctor told me. I was medical miracle. My very first words, when I opened my eyes, was:
- How is Travis?
- Alive. – That’s all my friend said, and he would not look me into my eyes.
Travis was alive. He had a brain injury and was paralyzed from the neck down. I cried, when I have heard of it. I cried, like if he would have been my own son. He was my son, in my heart.
I had long road to recovery, all brand new, cyborg, with pacemaker near my heart.
- Are you still racing? Did you buy a new car?
- No… My medical bills swallowed all my little savings. But, miracles do happens. Once, I was sitting in that little tavern, owned by my friend. He even has some of my photos, framed on his wall. I did some nice winnings in the past. Nothing, big, but some nice once. I saw a young fella, having lunch with elder gentlemen. All of a sudden, he said:
- Tom, my dad want to talk to you.
I was surprised, I am not used to attention, especially, from such a well-dressed man.
- My son told me, that you helped him in the past. Not once. – Started gentleman.
I did not remember, when and how I helped the youngster. May be I did, but forgot.
- I have heard, that your car was totaled in the last year race?
- Yes, it was. – I said with sadness.
- I have a car for you.
- - How much? – I could not afford a bicycle at that time. I was so broke. I ask, just to be polite. It was nice of him to even think of me.
- Nothing. I am giving it to you. It’s Mitsubishi Eclipse, full roll cage already installed. Strong runner, lots of new motor parts.
Man took a sip of his cold coffee and smiled:
- I could not believe, that it happened to me. I will be racing again. For Travis. I have a plan.
- - What plan? – Asked women.
He smiled:
- You can find it out for yourself, if you come to see the race. Will you come?
- I’ll think about it. I never been to Speedway.
- May be you will like it. Find me there, I will be in the pit after race, just ask for Tom.
They exchanged their phones. She gave him her number and email address. He said, he has simple phone, kind you buy at gas station, and then can add minutes. He did not have email address either, but said, that his friend in the tavern allowing him to use his computer once in a while.
- I am sure, he will be okay with it, if I give you his email. – Said Tom.
They agreed to stay in touch.
She returned home to her simple life and casual routine, but she find herself constantly thinking of this man. How nice he was, a bit shy. Modest. He must be done something very nice for that kid, if his dad rewarded him with a car, but he, even don’t remember it. She also was puzzled, but what was his plan, and why he did not want to say nothing about it. She decided to go and see that final race. “World outlaw”, even the name of event was intriguing. He said, that at the end of the day, there will be amazing firework.
“I must go” – Decided women.
Next few days she was walking around, murmuring to her self - words of the poem. Little by little, it was finished. Was not the best, may be. Writing in language, not native to her, was not so easy, but she enjoyed the process.
One day he called, and she told him:
- Tom, I have something for you. A poem. I wrote you a poem. I will print it out and bring it with me – She said. – I want to see you racing.
It was everything he told her about, and more. Much more. Friendly crowd, dust from the racing cars, demolition derby and monster trucks, curly potato fries with ketchup and hot dogs. Coca cola in a tall plastic cup – everything was amazingly delicious. She enjoyed it fully. And she saw Tom too. His number 8, purple Mitsubishi. He was not as fast, as others, but made it to the end of the race. On the outside of his car window, facing to public, I saw white poster. Letters were big, bold, and I could read from far away:” We love you Travis! Get well soon, we want you back”.
That was his plan. That much he could do for Travis. And crowd was cheering him, every time he passed by. Everyone missed Travis. Everyone was hoping for his return.
Women smiled, thinking to herself again: “What a good man, that Tom. Very nice person”.
Later she find him in the pit. He was excited to see her too. She gave him her poem/
- “The Ballad of Speedway cowboy” He read the title out loud. Then he folded her poem( she had it in plastic folder), and put into his inside pocket of his racing suit:
- - Closer to my heart. – Explained man, and smiled to his own thoughts. – will read it later.
They were sitting next to each other, watching fireworks, and it was amazing night. Fiery flowers were covering sky, creating unforgettable bouquets, running foliage’s of multicolored swirls were seen from far away. Loud, festive, Earth-shaking sounds! But those two were silent in awe, sitting next to each other tightly, like a children, and he was holding her hand.
When he walked her back to her car, she asked:
- What is your address, I can write you a letter. We can stay in touch that way.
She saw, how sad he become suddenly, and then, when he answered, she felt hesitation in his voice.
- Don’t have one.
- But, where you will stay, when winter come. Isn’t this a last race for the year?
- I stay in my van. – He said with a lowered voice, as if he is ashamed of himself. – It’s not always warm there, but isn’t bad. Not bad at all! I have a great sleeping bag and small propane heater. I manage. Please do not worry. And, thank you for a poem. I will treasure it.
**********************************************************
Winter was brutal that year. She could not reach Tom and was worried sick, thinking about him. She should of offer him a shelter, do something for him! He could of park his Volkswagen here, by her house, at least she could have feed him hot meal sometimes. She did not feel petty for him, but, simply, could not imagine, how anyone could survive such a snowy dreary winter, sleeping in the car. She wrote to his friend email address, she still had a hope that it would reach him somehow:” Dear Tom, I am thinking about you all the time. I wish, I could find you somehow! I just cannot imaging you, sleeping in your car, when trees branches are snapping from being frozen. Please, write me back, let me know, if you are okay, and if I could do anything for you! How is your heart?”
One day she received the answer:
“I was so happy to hear from you! Please do not worry about me, I am fine! My friend, the owner of my favorite on the Earth tavern, ask me, if I can house sit, while he is spending winter with his family in Arizona. He is semiretired now, and becoming quite a “Snow bird”. You would smile, if you see me know, with a cat on my lap and dog, laying by my feet. I am keeping house warm. I never been that warm in my life. And my heart working well. Better than ever. Every evening, before I go to bed, I read your poem. It make me smile. Hope to see you in April, when speedway will open again. I can’t wait. Tom”.
That was only letter that she received from him.
She made to his city only in May. Sure enough, there was an “Anchor Inn” tavern, pretty empty at that time of the day. She ordered coke and burger with fries, and looked around. There was that wall with photos! This way tavern’s owner, former racer himself, was paying tribute to his friends, to a heroes of the dirt trucks.
She walked close to the wall. There is one of young Tom! And then another frame, next to him, cached her attention. “The Ballad of speedway cowboy” – she read. Paper under glass was, obviously, folded and unfolded many times, somewhat wrinkled, and then neatly stretched again:
“I’m just a dust in the wind,
But not a sand in some ones eye.
I have no family, kids, have no wife.
I was an orphanage boy,
But now I am speedway cowboy,
Chasing wind, and not questioning, “Why?”
I was bad, I was good,
Drinking beer, eating food,
Shooting pull in the bar “Anchor Inn”,
I am nobody’s fool,
But I’m sober and cool,
And I” m happy, when SOMBODY wins.
That was “World outlaws”,
I felt high, I felt lost!
Air was thick from adrenalin rush!
People roar, engine roar
Shook the Earth to the core,
When my buddy had terrible crush.
Day before he propose,
Was in love, I suppose..
Now his bride all alone, on the curb.
I am man with no wings,
Just a dust in the wind!
Wish I could be an Angel for her.
That was “World outlaws,
Everybody felt cursed!
I’m for one. And my heart quite on me.
Doc re-started my heart,
Then he took it a part,
And installed peacemaker in me.
And my buddy survived,
With his wife by his side.
Dreams are shredded and body is shot.
But, I told him” Hey, boy?
You are a speedway cowboy!
You are young.
You will race.
Pray to God.
There I am, on speedway.
Who can keep me away?
I have a reason to be back on track:
I put sign on my car,
You can see from the far:
“Love you, Travis.
Get well,
And come back”.
I am a peacemakers
With a pacemaker,
I am a car racer
With racing heart.
I am a wind catcher,
And I am speed chaser,
And even death couldn’t
Split us a part”.