12681
I must remove all unnecessary speculations from my writing. I’m too voluble! Instead of thoroughly analyzing A’s behavior and looking for strategies to improve our communication, I carelessly jump on every available train of thought and fill these pages with an unreadable mixture of everything. I may take one thing at a moment, something I need to work on, and think about what exactly has to be done with this thing. I want to conceptualize her behavior in terms of different emotional states and learn how to deal with all these states. When she is sad, I wanna know how to cope with her sadness; when she is excited, I wanna know how to interact with her in the most appropriate way. I have to study the whole spectrum of her behavioral types, playing with them as if I were directing a symphony. Intuitively, I already know all of that, and, for the large part, especially when I’m focused on our relationship, it works amazingly; but there is always room for making it work better. There shouldn’t be any limits in terms of how far we can go. I can master multiple roles such as a lover, friend, supporter, teacher, entertainer, etc. In the past, I’ve done many stupid things which caused a strong tension and even some kind of toxicity between us. Now, I see how I can fix it. I derive a lot of inspiration from observing things getting better. I’d like to invest even more time and energy in working on it, but there is still one problem without solving which she’s never gonna be happy. I’m talking about the so-called “financial independence”, which, with her appetite, goes way beyond what’s necessary to live a decent philosophical life.
Back: http://proza.ru/2022/11/02/1378
Next: http://proza.ru/2022/11/04/1259