Exquisite beauty of torment

" I have once been told that beauty is everywhere.
Is that really so, I ask?
I would do anything for you, my little nightingale.
For I love you as much as a human heart may only love...
But I shall hurt you, too.
Should the opportunity come along. "

-- author


FOR!
NOW!
I!
SEE!

Yes, I see this in you:
The infinite stretch
Wherein emotions anew – 
Bottom of your guilt,
Failing to resolve,
For nothing's left to FEAR,
And nothing's left to HEAL.

I've been through this before;
I've dealt with all your flaws;
I’ve walked unto floors of LIFE,
And wandered through the DOORS –
The doors that lead to SIN!

***

Trying to discover
The STOIC of this dent,
We've found ourselves –
Within the REALMS
Of broken dreams
And their twisted pain –
Thriving on the agonies,
Awaiting to be TAMED.
Loose ends of your thin rope
Are once again – loose ends.
Pulling us up, attempting your ESCAPE,
Your halo got caught up in this
Insane, tumultuous WEB.

***

Weaved of silk and vice of MAN,
Draining us of BLOOD,
Draining  us of FAITH,
Man's aura is a CHAOS now,
And swords may not be sheathed.

When nothing can be done,
When ALL are sick and torn apart,
Tormented by their past.

Untying of our HANDS,
Undoing of our TONGUES,
And you shall be the only one
Amongst us all
Who still deny
That much may still remain

***

I'll fight my way up to the top
Man's SPIRIT can't be tamed –
The TEN of you,
And ONE of me
Our BATTLE is in vain;
First drop of blood
Determines all,
Your strength is clandestine.

I shall not turn my back on you,
I shall not walk away,
I shall not take aback
The blood that ran from filthy veins.

***

Why do we set these things apart?
Why do we keep this HATE inside?
Why do we always need to?
Grotesquely feed our FLESH –
The beasts of one’s ABYSS
Are known to be uncanny.

***

Pulling one's gun trigger,
Sealing one's FATE short,
Having punished men for sins
Their FATHERS once have brought –
Upon malevolence of DAYS,
Upon one's mindless HEAD –
In heat of vengeance
You stood then,
Foretelling JUDGMENT's day;
Assuming date we'd all regret –
For it has since been unattained –
We've all once played
The GAME OF BLAME,
For things we're supposed to SAVE
All lie within one's REACH

***

Our chips are made of QUARTZ;
I've seen you play your cards before,
Like lives are POKER cards
In decks of senseless POWER games
One's anxious heart is like a BET –
A bet of faith, a bet of FATE –
You wish you've never made.
Alas, we all – lest we forget! –
That beating in your chest
Been brought along by risky FOLD,
And nothing's left to make us LIVE,
And one thing's left to do:
Show you my own weak cards
And for wait for times
When GAME's not rigged –
For truth is that
The game's UNJUST, – 
My choice is my own fault.

And now I shall claim my NAME,
Trying to describe in RHYMES
THIS CLANDESTINE EXUBERANCE
OF ONE'S EXQUISITE PAIN.


~ 2009


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