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Until now, I’ve been trying to put an emphasis on the development of my language, complaining a lot about its low quality. I guess it was one of the chief reasons why I couldn’t fully enjoy the process of writing. It seems I’ve realized that the problem lies in a different domain. It’s not the quality of my language that I’m not satisfied with; it’s rather the quality of thoughts and the lack of brilliant ideas. I repeated it over and over that I had to work on my language, learning to express all thoughts and ideas clearly, using advance vocabulary, compelling idioms, etc.; and then, after months of daily practice, I saw the same bullshit occurring on these pages, having little awareness of what was going on. Maybe, it’s still the case. However, now I’m close to the point where some sort of real understanding is about to show up. I’m ready to shift the emphasis to the development of ideas — not just “the language”. The language is gonna be improved automatically simply by being used for meaningful purposes. So when I need to think, I either focus on my experience, making sense of it, or examine my knowledge, as if it were an abstract garden, find something that needs to be cultivated and then throw all my mental power at it. Again, there is no need to talk about the quality of my language at all.
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