12660
“We, ignorant of ourselves, beg often our own harms, which the wise powers deny us for our good.”
I missed four days, which were the craziest days of my relationship with A.
After I’d written the last note, I came to her and found out that she met with a dozen men while we weren’t together. Somehow, I managed to convince myself that it wasn’t a big problem, and we decided to get back to where we were before. The next day, she was upset without any particular reason, being unable to tolerate my presence. In the afternoon, she had a call from her ex. He invited her to go to a lake. She said she wanted to go with him. I said it was absurd. She turned into a two-year old crying over a candy. Eventually, she has made a “decision” and announced it in an official tone. “I will go.” I said, I’ll leave her immediately in this case. Then, there was a deeply emotional talk ended up quite positively. Instead of going with her ex to a lake, she drove there with me and X. The entire evening she was happy and told me repeatedly that she loved me. The next day, except for a little conflict triggered by my remarks about her punctuality, we had a good time, read this diary, watched lectures on psychology, discussed them, etc. Finally, yesterday, a stupid joke caused a silent treatment for the whole hour. All my attempts to reach her had no effect. The more I tried, the worse it became. Eventually, I had no power to tolerate it and left her. I have no desire to spend my time on this absurdity anymore.
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