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At midnight, she sent an sms, and I immediately, without a second thought, went to her. She said she couldn’t fall asleep. We talked for an hour and a half, then fell asleep together.
In the morning, we discussed the matter which triggered the last conflict and came to an agreement. As always, I was wrong.
Now, I think it’s time to start a new sequence. I’d like to focus on making this relationship stable if we can’t tear it apart. I must learn from the very beginning how to be impeccable. The main point is to accept her as she is, ceasing all attempts to change her. Whether or not her company makes me feel like a fool depends on my perception of the situation and the ability to control certain emotions. Our communication has a devastating impact on my mind, disturbing my genuine stream of consciousness, only because I allow it by myself. It’s not because of her constant interruption that I can’t reach the deepest level of thought.
Actually, I don’t fully understand what’s going on. When she makes me frustrated, I wanna leave her. When she again becomes adequate, I can’t even imagine my life without her. Yesterday, before she sent the sms, I thought a lot about our relationship, walking around her house, so it wasn’t a surprise to me when I got her message.
Besides, if I need these periods of deep focus and concentration, I can just tell her. I guess we would be able to arrange it without a conflict.
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