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I must pay more attention to exercises. Recently, I stopped doing 2/3 of my morning routine, and now it’s time to bring it back. Meanwhile, I’m totally engrossed in the activity of making comments, which consumes all my mental energy. In the morning, I can’t wait till I go on the internet and begin to work. Yesterday, I wrote 10 comments.
Okay, now, let’s talk about A. I guess I have to pay attention to our relationship as well, as I’ve already mentioned in previous notes.
Yesterday, she called me a couple of times while I was at home. She sounded cheerful. We met in the evening and had an hour-long walk. At one point, she got mad when I didn’t answer her question: Whether or not I’ll abandon her. I tried to talk to her, but it didn’t help. When we got home, she broke into tears and was paralyzed for an hour or so. I encouraged her to speak her mind. Eventually, she started complaining about “everything”. She believes that in our relationship she plays a kind of leading role, since she is a “breadwinner”. This is so naive, but for now I can’t do anything to open her eyes. In the form of a joke, I offered her to quit her job and begin to work with me, doing something meaningful, instead of making money. Then I drew an image of our future where I make money day in and day out, earning millions and providing her with everything but attention. She said that she understood that love and attention were important, but she wanted to feel free, without working as much as she does now. She’s exhausted by the work and she’s not gonna quit because I don’t provide her with material support, because I’m not reliable, etc. There is a huge gap of understanding between us. How the hell may this gap be bridged?
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