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Yesterday, there was an incident I wanna say a few words about. It started form her call. She told me about her plans, and then we decided to have dinner. I came to her while she was cooking. She asked for help. I inquired what she wanted me to do, and she repeated: Help. At first, I washed vegetables, then saw we had no clean plates. So I washed a couple of them, which took me plenty of effort, since they have been dirty for several days. She was offended by it, threw a pot of salad onto the table, and said she’ll eat later. Then, she started washing dishes. I ate the meal and was about to get out of the table when she asked me to give her the keys. I said “ok,” gave her the keys and went home. In a few minutes, she called and asked me to take my stuff out of her apartment. I asked if she wanted to break up. She said, “yes.” We agreed that I’ll come a few hours later to take the stuff; but when I came, her mood changed, and we instantly reached peace. I didn’t take seriously her nervous behavior and ignored her passive aggression. I was calm; it almost didn’t touch me. It seems I’ve learned how to deal with it. I must be impeccable, though I have a very vague idea of what it even means. I’ve gotta learn how to be invincible, how to be not hooked up by her provocations. If I learn how to transform every bit of her anger into some kind of art of self-control, it’s gonna be astonishing. Isn’t that what writing is all about?
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