12672
Have been reading my notes for almost the entire day. Now, it’s the 60th day since I started working on my project. Although I don’t see any serious progress, the amount of work I’ve done is huge. I’ve learned how to edit videos and figured out how to gain subs. However, I’ve lost connection with A. The time is ripe to recover it. My new topic of research is gonna be relationships. I’m going to master this topic in a similar way as I used to master the topics of my speaking club. First off, I’m gonna take a certain concept; then, study it for a week; and finally, make a video about it. The first concept is gonna be “attention”. This is what I need to work on right now. I suppose the exercises like “hour of thinking” and “self-talk” must be useful to redirect my attention from work to the relationship. If I invest a few hours a day in thinking about what’s going on and another few hours in searching for the information that is relevant to it, there is a high probability that the relationship might be stabilized in the course of several weeks. When I was writing this diary in Russian, setting up the same goal, it had a profound impact on both of us. Besides, as soon as I switched to English and started working on my project, all this shit started to happen. Now, since I’ve learned how to edit videos, I no longer need to spend a lot of time on studies, so I can make videos about relationships using my own relationship as the prime source of content.
A is currently quite upset about my attitude toward her. She doesn’t like the way I speak to her; she is unhappy because I don’t bring her presents. Today, she said I was not a man. Most of the time, she is angry and she has headaches almost every day.
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