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I decided to divide my studies of relationships into several parts. Here, I’m gonna write down my thoughts; whereas the description of what’s happening is gonna be put in a different place. Here, I don’t wanna limit myself to the relationship only; there, I’m gonna describe everything we do and talk about. I even thought about writing a book. There is so much going on that putting it into the right form might make a good novel.
I have a feeling as if we were playing different games, where her game is a game with dolls and dresses and my is a sort of game of thrones.
I can’t tolerate her emotional manipulation, especially in cases where it’s too obvious. Whenever I point it out, it makes her even more angry, upset or miserable. At that time, I think that she is a little bitch obsessed with her small world of narrow views and limited horizons. Is it because of my gigantic “self-importance”? I mean, why do I think that way? Is there an “objective” way of looking at the world? She wants me to serve her wishes, and she doesn’t recognize any “wish” on my part. Hey, does it really make sense to complain about it? I wanna read great books, watch lectures, write, speak and think about my experience. She wants dresses, traveling, gifts, children. Are these things compatible? And if they are, how to place them in a hierarchy; and if they aren’t, what to do about that?
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