12690
In the morning, she brought up a question related to money. She asked if I get a certificate to teach English in the case she gets pregnant. She worries about it. She’s afraid I won’t be able to provide enough money if she temporarily has no job. A week ago, I said it was my plan B, passing an exam (TOEFL or IELTS) and getting a certificate to teach online. Honestly, I don’t wanna do that. I don’t wanna become a dull English teacher. To make videos on Youtube and run a speaking club is not the same as to have a busy schedule, talking four or five hours a day to boys and girls who are forced to study by their parents. Well, whether I wanna do it or not, if she gets pregnant, there won’t be many choices. So my strategy, which was about studying relationships, making videos and working on the speaking club, now needs a correction. Actually, getting a certificate and working as a teacher for a couple of years might have been a great opportunity. I may quickly the learn all necessary skills and then find a dozen students to work with.
Recently, there was a sense of uneasiness that has been bothering me. Eighty days ago I started this project aimed at making money, but then I gave it up when there was a strong tension, when A and I almost broke up. I made some progress while working on the project, so why not try it again. Now, our relationship is stable, but to make it grow, I need to ensure A that I can be a breadwinner. She’ll never relax or feel safe until she sees that I can provide her with what she needs. Again, I don’t need to spend the rest of my life climbing a career ladder. I’ll find a way to get a stable income, do everything quickly, and get back to working on my stuff.
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