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Now, it’s time to get rid of any routine from my writing. Whatever is going on at the present moment is what I’m gonna put down on these pages. My current goals are all about making the relationship with A functional, without losing the course of my intellectual and physical development. However, by forcing myself to write about a certain subject, deliberately directing attention to specific areas, I narrow down my mental horizons more than necessary. I guess it all goes down to 12611 when I designed a plan to earn money, deciding to write only about those things that would have helped me move forward. I’m still committed to the plan, but now, I wanna break this commitment, freeing these pages from all sorts of obligations and diving into “gnoti se auton”. Whenever this relationship needs to be reflected upon, whenever there is something important to talk about with respect to it, I’m gonna do that. Whenever there is something else demanding my attention, whether it’s the speaking club, any kind of business or philosophy, I’m not gonna ignore it either.
Recently, I realized that I pay too much attention to the beauty of expression while writing and thinking. I don’t like it. I shouldn’t care about beauty. All these embellishments are unnecessary. All form is useless without tangible content. Instead of focusing on reality, I’m chasing pure forms. The purpose of writing is to organize my experience, making my inner mental life structured, rich and independent. When I use the word “reality”, I don’t mean “stuff”. There are plenty of emotions, ideas and thoughts which I can enrich my experience with. Ultimately, I wanna be able to express in a comprehensive way whatever I perceive, but not simply describing things. I wanna see multiple connections hidden from my eyes, which are obtained through reflection and contemplation. I wanna make these notes readable, so that after a couple of years, when I’m gonna publish them on the net, I’ll be able to enjoy rereading them.
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