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Ho-ho! How was that necessary? Was that necessary? How does it feel to be a cuckold? Am I sad, disappointed, frustrated? Where is thy chaos, Jordan Peterson? Betrayal is one of the worst things which may happen? C’mon! I’m gonna take it as if it were nothing, or fate, or destiny, you name it. What else is necessary? What am I being prepared for?
Okay, now a few words about how it happened. She decided that we had broken up. She was in pain. There also was a sense of ambiguity, since I left without saying too much; besides, she believed she was already pregnant. So, after five days, in the middle of the night, she called her ex and asked him to come. I accidentally met her after this bloody night in the street. We talked. She confessed. I said it probably was the only way of ending this bizarre relationship, but somehow she didn’t let me go. I forgave her. Well, I said I forgave her, but… You know, the hell with that. I don’t care. If she does it again, I go away. Damn it! Why am I writing it here? Do I wanna examine my intention? Don’t write here for her! Write for yourself! She’s gonna do everything to prove that I’m unable to keep my promise. This is just a little stab. There is a lot of evidence that this whole story is about competition for who’s better. I guess I shouldn’t fall into the trap of counting my “feats” and bringing them at the table every time she is gonna be upset by something. I need to reach the state of real forgiveness. Else, all this magnanimity is bullshit. I’m a cuckold, not a selfless, noble, generous spirit. Now, let’s find a way to accept that and let it go. Can I let it go?
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