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The night was almost without sleep. I got too excited while making comments in vk to attract attention, so that eventually, even after getting in bed and closing my eyes, I wasn’t able to stop it. There was an endless variety of new comments and most of them were completely nuts. I didn’t write anything down, being lazy to turn on the light. It was astonishing to observe the power of my imagination when it had to work under the supervision of a well-defined intention. My mind was utterly restless and refused to fall asleep. I stopped paying attention to this magnificent stream of consciousness at dawn. I guess I was unconscious only for a couple of hours. Nevertheless, after I got up, I accomplished the whole set of exercises, feeling, I would say, quite strong. Now, there are two things competing for attention. One of them is all about “communicating” with the group mind and building up the audience, and the other is compulsive thoughts about the relationship with A. At night, the former totally dominated, but in the morning, there was serious competition. I’m afraid of losing balance and giving up on all kinds of physical activities, since making comments is truly remarkable. It takes no effort and potentially may lead to 1,000 subs in a couple of months, if I just learn how to win people’s hearts (and minds). Besides, I’ve decided to limit myself to only one page, so this diary won’t look like a mess.
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