The letter

Sweetie,

  Sorrow is a crappy word to describe how i feel.
  I have never felt such remorse in my life as i do right now.
  The last 3 months have been wonderful for me. I felt like every day that i woke up was better then the last. I remember your smile and the happiness we shared and now that I look back on it and then at what i have done i feel
incredibaly stupid.
Im stupid for hurting the one I love, the person I care for most and the person who, I am now realizing, truly cares for me. It almost impossible for me to hold tears back as I write this in the lab.
I dont believe I can make up for what I have done and now my worst fear is that It all might be ruined and you will not be the shining part of my life that you once were. If you think its possible that we can regain our past happiness than I would do anything.
Unfortunately now I am completely aware just how you felt about me before I had my doubt and I see clearly that I should never have doubted you.
Thoughts of you keep coming into my head and then I think of what I did and it makes me feel a way i never felt before. It seems to me know that i had no reason whatsoever to do this and Im still figuring out completely how it happened. Now it seems to me that I feel that
im not good enoughf for you and I could not just let my self be truly happy. I hope It is still possible.

I miss you so much.
Yours,
M.