Gender-Benders

The most often asked question in Russia is about femininity and masculinity. Was Rock Hudson masculine? He’s well known as an ideal man of Hollywood movies and TV shows. However, he was gay and died of AIDS. Was Marlene Dietrich feminine? Clearly! Although she was one of the first women to wear pants.

I remember being 15 and going to the park. A man over 40 looked at my short skirt and said, “Very reachable!” I stopped wearing this skirt but my brother wore it sometimes – it was beautiful. These kinds of men made a feminist out of me. Their envy was more peacefully shown in my brother. Russian culture misses an open gender analysis. A movie like Tootsie should be viewed by Russia’s new generation.

In the Russian language, too many negative connotations are connected with a skirt, even though every man is raised by a woman. A mother. This faulty male “pride” leads to dysfunctional families. Men with such a mentality end up oppressing women and raping them. On March, 12, 2006, The New York Times Magazine published an article about men’s fashion featuring the folk group Devendra Banhart wearing skirts and jewelry.

A man in a skirt is more brave than a macho hitting a woman. Who is the real non-conformist? The transformation of genders helps us to get faster to a more egalitarian society. This transformation started in the beginning of the 20-th century when women began to cut their hair, wear pants, and take leading roles outside of the family.

Madelaine Albright, Secretary of State under President Bill Clinton, is 69 now, and she’s proud that she can push 400 pounds with her legs during exercise. It wasn’t feminine just a short while ago – now we see young women successfully fighting attackers. Now everyone has to show their abilities no matter what gender they are.

On the chromosomal level, being fetuses, we are all females and males at once. Our genitals give an answer to the question of who’s feminine and who’s masculine. If it would be that important, men wouldn’t shave their facial hair and women wouldn’t cut their curls. Nobody is hurt when they do. Tenderness is expected from a woman and strength from a man. In reality it’s mixed.

Only in Russia is the feminine gender still called “weak”. In many aspects, women are stronger than men as confirmed in biological studies. “Women are real humans.” These words of E. Evtushenko point to the strength of the spirit. Patriarchy has traumatized woman and deformed man. It alienated man from responsibilities, especially in families. Although humanity is overcoming it lately.

Men aren't educated to be good fathers. The necessity of men’s education surfaced in the 1980’s and the movie Three Men and a Baby is a great example of it. I saw in my family, observing my father (a lawyer and alcoholic) how untrue was phallocratic philosophy. Men weren’t supposed to cry – ever. Although, the best of them, including Leo Tolstoy, were cry-babies.” Frustrations of men in patriarchy come out in tears and in the worse scenario – in violence.

We know more now about the influence of sexism and racism on contemporary people. It was discovered recently that Afro-American women and men are taking different roads. Black men are turning to anger, women to creativity. Oprah Winfrey and Condoleeza Rice are inspiring black women prefer to raise kids alone instead of having irresponsible husbands. Black men often have sexual encounters with other men and transfer AIDS to their wives.

Among the young motivators of women we should mention also Tyra Banks, a black model. And among the men, Jesse Jackson and Montel Williams, who distribute the idea of human treatment of each other for the betterment of humanity. A so-called crisis of femininity and masculinity is just a simple process of evolution. When I meet someone and fall in love, it doesn’t matter their gender, color, age, or nation.


Lecture presented at Corinthia Nevskij Palace Hotel, St. Petersburg, Russia, May 18, 2006