Dead boy s story

      He was walking in loneliness through the valley of pain and sufferings.  Only a pitchy darkness was around him. Indistinct shadow of recollections was coming full upon his mind. All what he knew, all what he believed in, now seemed to him like a dead nullity. He just wanted to scream and cry. But he tried to maintain on footing and not to fall into the Turgid Sea of mud and dust. He was walking to the lonely mountain in the middle of nowhere, but he knew where it was. Suddenly through the smoke and darkness he saw a light. It was far away from him, but closer he was coming the light was growing and becoming brighter. It seemed to him that he was feeling its warm. It was his sun, bright and hot. The sun that he had been looking for all his life, the sun, that he found when the drop of last hope left him. He stopped crying. And after seventeen years of sadness and loneliness he began to smile. It was an ineffable sentiment. It was born deep inside of his soul. It was an unusual feeling that he had never felt. For a moment he forgot about the target of his way. He was just walking and looking at his sun. He was happy. He didn’t see a small stone and felt to the ground. When he stood up there were no sun, no light. There was only a cold darkness again. At that moment he understood that it was just the raving of his crude imagination. Everything was put into their places. The world became grey and cold again. He saw that there were a lot of stones and a lonely mountain was near him.
     He began to rise on it. When he got its top he turned around and saw his life, not long and full of emptiness. How many times he tried to penetrate its mysteries and find answers but every time he found only more questions. Nothing worried him anymore. He became bold and with wide closed eyes he jumped into the Unfathomable Ocean of emptiness. He was falling and thinking about the Solemn Dignity of God. He was going to meet him and find all the answers.
     At last, it was the end. And the life was over.   

[2005]