Rain

        “Why me… Once again… Lucky me… Again.”
        “Why did it happen?”
        “I don’t understand a fucking thing…”
        “Hey, God, do you ever think about me? I can’t hear your answer, you dumb ass…”

        The night was throwing down cold drops of rain. He was wet, but he kept walking through the dark streets to nowhere. He was trying to run from the past. Like a dirty nobody. Like an empty whole in the universe. He was.
There was no way, no sense. Just narrow and mud street. Rare passers-by looked at him with disgust, but he didn’t even mention them. With an empty and dark sight he was looking through the wall of rain, at nothing. Thoughts in his mind got confused. Someone could even hear the strange and senseless phrases that he pronounced sometimes when he was talking to someone. His cigarette was constantly going out - just one more drop of crap in this endless fucking day.
Suddenly he stopped. At the end of the street he saw something that let him forget about everything. One lonely girl was sitting on the border. At the same time he understood, that he got to far from the acquaintance streets. He took a look around and didn’t mention anyone. The rain was already over and only a grey smoke was around them.
Something mysterious was in this girl. Something that made him stare at her for a few minutes. She didn’t mention him. He could hardly descry her pale face because a thick lock of her long dark hair covered her eyes. In spite of it she was one of the most beautiful creatures that he had ever seen. She was charming… and sad.
Thoughts in his head became to rotate with the most speed than before. What should he do? “Maybe it will be better to approach her. She is so sad… But what will I say? “Good evening”? No, too stupid…But what else?…” Just at that moment she turned around and looked at him. He winced. It seemed like she was looking through him, that she didn’t see him… “But her eyes! They are so… clear! So innocent. And so empty… Oh god, she is so… Damn!”
For a minute she was standing there, not far from him… and then she walked away and disappeared in the smoke.
Everything was clear again. The fog was clearing and he saw the sky with a lot of bright stare on it. He smiled and went back home.

- Forgive me! I’ve made a very big mistake. I understood everything. I realized how I need you. How I love you… Please, don’t let me ever do it  again!

“Fuck me! Is it real?!”
He was sitting near the window and smoking. He felt a fresh and warm summer air. It was so quiet everywhere…
“Damn! The cigarettes ended… Ok, seems to me I have to go and buy some more…”
He took his coat and went out. For some reason he remembered Her, the same girl that he met a half of year ago. Who was she? Since those moment she often came upon his mind. “What if I were not so stupid and approach her then?!... No…”
The car stopped. The driver came up at a run to the guy that was lying on the road in the headlights. Blood was everywhere around him. His eyes, full of despair were staring at the stars… Like the same day, he felt himself free… A weak smile adorned his young face and he died.


[27.10.2007]