Colored Pics. GloomyGray

Claustrophobia.


Room deprived of mirrors. Deprived of windows and doors. Not even a room or a cage – you can get out of those, - but you can't get out of this... what - place? No, it's not even a place: there is no such place. You cannot come in there, it comes into and onto you itself, and it comes whenever and where it wants to. It comes over and consumes you. Slowly, quietly it’s crawling all over you, you don't even notice it at first, and one of a sudden you understand that you are already there, in there, from where there is no exit.
Many corners are there, and in each and every one of them – fear.
And suddenly, with some strange vision, the vision that exists beside you, you watch yourself – tiny, barefoot creature, huddled in a corner, sitting there with your back close to the wall, with your legs flattened against your stomach, and your arms put closely around them.
The forehead of the little creature is pressed against its knees, and tears and fear are standing cold in its wide-open eyes.
And it's impossible to think, impossible to understand: in the brain, shrunk down to the volume of only one thought, there is only horror – run, run, run...
But there is no strength to run, no strength to even move, to lift your own head, straighten your own cramped knees.
And there is nowhere to run, there, behind your back – there is only gray rough wall, in front of you, on either side of you – the same gray walls.
And thick shaggy fog is curling around you; it’s curling, filling all this narrow space, and now, there it is – a big, weird, gray bird. It strangely appears from nowhere, it looks at you with its horrible yellow eyes, with their vertical snake-like pupils.
And it’s so stuffy, gloomy, and dreary all over around…
And the gray smoky bird is flying towards you, and flying roundly, and pitching in the thick fog, vanishing there and appearing before your fearing eyes again; it is aiming right at your face with its sharp yellow beak…
And there - here it is, it’s poisonous, stinking breath, it’s all over you, and you’re feeling the touch of soft gray feathers…
Here, right here it is, frightful gray bird with snake-like eyes, glowing with yellow fire. It is here, right before you, it’s between you and the rough gray wall….  it’s only a soft, warm and fluffy gray bird, but the horror that comes from it - it is indescribable.
It’s not fear of death even, it is different, it’s some kind of animal, unspeakable, sickening fear that tightens your throat, the very soul of yours is getting cold, and eyes – white.
And the whole world around you is becoming sheer, dazzling whiteness, emptiness.
And all the sounds – they disappear, eaten by the numb empty silence.
And the very air – it disappears, consumed by the gray fog, and the light disappears, melting in dazzling radiance.
And nothing more is left there.
No more of gray corners between gray walls, no more of the gray gloom, and no more of gray smoky bird… No more of even emptiness…
And no more of you…