***

To be a mom is the only happiness.

She was tickling by white shadows of the moon and trembling as a new born baby sitting in the wind. Cream walls in her room were covered with the darkness and only cars from the road spilled in the room a very weak light. Summer night was sleeping in her bed, breathing with warm sounds. But the silence made everything around so unfamiliar, so cold that Lippy was feeling like naked and covered with snow.

The room, where they lived was a small, squared part of the old house. Children books and clothes were everywhere, mixed together: lying on the floor, resting on the chair, sleeping under her bed. A vintage table with a broken leg was standing near the door, as somebody who has just come in, and waited for inviting. The sofa, given to the girl by her grandmother, was covered with a simple brownish blanket, sewed by Lippy. The room was so tiny that there was not enough place for her life. Only the window with the smoking curtains outside filled the room with the air.  In the evenings it was even harder to be there, because the lamp was stealing the space and spreading heaviness under the ceiling. So, the light was turned off - not only this day, but most of the times.

The telephone seemed to be dead. It never rang that day. Everybody in this room was waiting. In the gray corner slept a very fat cat. Sleeping hard, he sounded very loud in that symphony of silence. The white pillow under him was very tired of constant heaviness. Every time it went up and down there was a very unpleasant scratch spreading in the room. The sound made her fall asleep.

- I hate you! Leave me alone! I worked for you since I was thirteen years old. You have become rich just because of me. Oh, God, leave my life!

- Honey, how can you imagine your life without this work? Men and women, they love you, they want you, they pay you. Would you be happy living in a small country, with your parents, working in the store, earning 3 dollars per week? Are you sure…

- I have a baby.

- …that you… Sorry, what?

- I have a baby!

- What did you say?

- I am pregnant! Forth month!

- You must make an abortion.

- No. I decided. I will quit this life. I will save my baby.

- No, no way. You belong to me. You work for me. Without this job you are nothing.
Do you hear me?

- Stop!

- Do you hear me?

The window creaked, sounding as somebody, who was listening to her memories. She looked on her watches. It was two in the morning. The city felt asleep. No yellow dots on the buildings, no white dots on the street - nothing around.

- Watch the steps, sweetie. Five more… Now we are going to the delivery room. We are almost there.
The white big dressing gown was following her. It got under her small feet and made it harder to walk. However, she did not think about that.

-    We are here, sweetie. Lay on this bed. Doctor is coming.

- Will I do it today? It’s only the eighth month.

- Yes.

A cold touch of the sun woke her up. Without opening tired eyes she found the sleepers under the carpet and went to the tiny kitchen with the smell of cheap sunflower oil and overcooked potatoes. Other families already had their breakfast and two small, old women were left to finish the dishes. Lippy took her milk from the refrigerator and went back.
Right in the moment when she entered the room she heard her cell phone ranging. Trying to walk fast, but really moving slowly she took it and answered, but there were only a log tone on the other end. She was mistaken.

- It’s a girl.

- Show me her. Is she nice? Does she look like me?

- Her eyes as big, as wild, as gray as yours.

- Yes. I can tell. My lovely girl. Hello. Hi. Do you see me?

The lazy cat that noticed the bottle of milk in the room stretched herself, rolled on the carpet and started to ask for it. Not hungry Lippy, shared almost the whole bottle with her fat cat. She opened the closet, found a plate, poured out the milk and sat on the table.

- I can’t find my daughter, named Mila, a girl of three years old and my ex- husband, Michael, a 30 years old man.

- For how long they have been gone?

- For 12 hours.

- Where did they go?

- To the park, to watch the spring flow.

The cat finished his meal and jumped in her arms. Lippy flattered him carefully, put under the blanket and looked on the sky... The window was opened, but it was going to be raining.

- I’ll make my last try. If this time we don’t find them, then I give up. My workers did everything they could. We looked for them for five months.

- Please. If something else is possible.

- If I’ll have good news – only then I will call you.

She stood in front of the window and didn’t remember why she left the bed. Trying to find the reason, Lippy heard some birds singing and sat on the window pane to listen to them and to the emptiness of her. The sound made her remember again and again all the days they have spent together with her daughter. She cried… and she moved just a little bit closer to the edge.

The cat went back to his pillow and felt into dreams. Everything in that small room stood surprised and silent. Only small drops of the rain bothered the floor with the whispered memories.

The telephone ranged that afternoon.