Different Jewish identity in Ukraine

By Vladimir Matveyev

Existence of different Jewish dating services in Ukraine is illustrated wide range of Jewish identity with different approaches in the post-communist country including secular marriages.

The problem looking for Jewish mate is complicated because many soviet Jews had non-Jewish partner and today many young Jews also have intermarried partner in a country where population is decreasing.

During 70 years of communist regime Jewish identity was determinated by Jewish father and Jews were mainly assimilated. "That is why it is violently to identify Jews today – after Holocaust and communist regime - only according to Chalahah," said Vladlen Portnikov, 64, Jewish activist from Kiev.

Orthodox Jewry is facing a crisis and a number of non-Chalahical and non-observant Jews with specific mentality is a challenge to traditional Jewish matchmaking.

ДАННЫЕ: There are Shadkhen Mishpahah, Jewish Dating Agency, based in Kiev, several dating sites and matchmakers, a Yiddishe mothers, in modern Ukraine. 

But the only Shadhen agency welcomes and tries to help both Chalahic and to non-Chalahic singles, while others accept only Chalahic Jews.

Meanwhile most young boys and girls consider the best way for dating is different Jewish meetings, camps and holidays celebrations. "I visit Netzer, Israeli Cultural Center, whirl with Jewish youth and make Jewish friends and partners myself," said Valentin Matvienko, 21, activist of Kiev Netzer group.

But the problem is deeper and a lot of Jews are not accepted by synagogues because they are non-Chalahic and rabbis propose to them a course of giur, some conditions of which are not clear enough to many of them.

Being persecuted in the FSU non-Chalahic Jews became "non-Jews" in modern Ukraine and in Israel.
"Rabbis at Central Brodsky shul in Kiev did all to spurn me and my children," said Leonid Krivoruk, 37, who has only Jewish father and just divorced with Russian wife."That is why I'm looking for my Jewish wife at Shadhen agency which welcomes not only Chalahic Jews."

Some Jews consider that intermarried mates and non-Chalahic couples often strength Jewish family and identity. "We have such Jewish children only because these Jewish women got married Russian men," said Dmitriy Gohvat, leader of Shadhen Jewish dating agency, showing JTA photos of two Jewish women with their children. "If we would alienate such families from Jewish community in wide meaning of the word we would get only rise of anti-Semitism."

"Modern world is different and it is necessary to add to Jewish different other nationalities, juices," said Portnikov.

According to different estimates about half of the children in Ukraine who identify themselves as Jews have one Jewish parent. Sociologists and Jewish leaders have chartered the growing and exhilarating diversity of Jewish identities, fluid and mobile than ever.

"We have in fact different Jewish identities: large group of ethnic secular Jews, many of whom are non Chalahic, and groups of religious Jews – reform, conservative and Orthodox," said Rabbi Aleksandr Dukhovny, leader of reform movement in Ukraine.

"It is very important to give Jews a choice to be reform, or Orthodox, or ethnic Jew. We see range expansion of Jewish identity: not only traditional religious but also ethnic-national and new identity based on Jewish roots and Jewish cultural values," said Yevgeny Golovaha, deputy director of the Institute of Sociology of Ukrainian National Academy of Sciences, and Chalahic Jew. "Identities become more and more different and it is important do not forbid secular Jewish marriages."

But Orthodox Jewish leaders and communities dominate in Ukraine and according to religious Jewish laws the only way to become a Jew or to confirm Jewry is conversion or giur. It is more easy and clear to be converted in reform community where some non-Chalahic Jews must only confirm their roots.

"Orthodox make problems for those who want to be converted," said Aleksandr Naiman, Jewish activist from Kiev.

"Jewish hearts ache with this burden. Something have to be done. Rabbis should make process of giur more clear and easier," said Baranov.

Some Jewish activists claim they can find evidence of high rates of Jewish commitment among the intermarried as a group, if only they measured properly. "The criteria of selection of partner and Jewish inmarriage according to Chalachah do not satisfy all modern Jews. We should allow intermarriage and invest in Jewish education. This is not a way to assimilation. My relative has very successful intermarriage," said Arkady Monastyrsky, director of the Jewish Foundation in Ukraine.

"Nationality or religion is not the main. If I meet a non-Jewish girl, who appreciate my Jewish values and emotions and I love her, it will not be a matter," said Valentin Matvienko, 21, activist of Kiev Netzer.

While Jewish identities are changing, the main import of intermarriage is not. "But everybody can make a difference," said Dukhovny, who celebrated 8 weddings during last two years, all people who met at reform community.

Many Jews consider that it is necessary to change an approach to the dilemma and allow secular marriages, secular giur and right to choose a nationality in accordance with father's roots.

"We must change approach and criteria and take into account specific mentality and different identities of modern Ukrainian Jews," said Gohvat.

"I have secular Jewish priority and do not think about religious giur," said Matvienko.