The Dreamer

The virgin soul that lived in me
was raped by insecurity…
“Sing for me” T. Turunen

She was always said to be the happiest girl in the world. Her every single thought used to come true and that is why everyone was dieing of being jealous. Yes, she was happy, besides she believed that her life would have never been changed by ordinariness. But we have to pay for everything we get. No one knew what price she had to pay for all her happiness…
“Once I woke up and understood that something was wrong. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling thinking about the pictures, which I had been shown recently. Dreams…a lot of things are hidden in them. I would say the whole magical world can be presented to you at night when you are alone with your thoughts, which were produced by your own imagination. Every night I was taken away to some kind of my personal “wonderland”. Everything there was decorated in special way in order to suite to the events that would happen there. To tell you the truth, there was real me! Psychologists would say it was a complete madness, but they can’t understand how it feels to be the master of the world you live in!
But this night everything went wrong. The only thing that I was shown this night was a “black square”. I tried my thoughts to be gathered together by my mind but it was in vain.
I closed my eyes again, but nothing changed – the same “black square” was being shown to me for all the time. My thoughts had gone away together with my happiness, on their place a complete loneliness was put. I was being killed by this fact. I definitely knew that my previous gladness could be returned back only by the magical influence of dreams. Yes, it really was the single escape for me. What else could I do? I was weak. My weakness was too strong and that is why my problems were not solved, moreover, every single day more and more problems were appeared and, there is nothing to be hidden right now, I didn’t want to deal with all of them. At that moment I wanted to be free…free forever.
I asked God, why all the time it was me, who lost everything, which was really loved by me? Why after all I had experienced that stupid unreal smile was always put on my face by some unknown power (which by the way didn’t suit to my deeply sad eyes at all!)? In the end I asked for only one thing: to be free…”
“Calm down, my dear – said “The heaven” – you have been given freedom…”
She closed her eyes for the last time and suddenly she understood that she was taken to a new better world…forever…