Letter, 15

i was always the first to  fire... i remember one time   when  four of us  were huddled around a map on the jungle and suddenly this little gook pops out from  behind a tree with  an AK47 .... everyone was frozen .... my  browning was  slung  on my back ..  but  no one  moved ... we were alll  heavily  armed ... i quickly  pulled out my makharov and killed him with one shot ... and we went  back  to the map ...  but i realized every one  hesitated because  every one  wanted  someone else to kill that gook ... and    then i realized  i was  always the first  to start killing ...  killing meant nothing  to me ... maybe it was  my violent childhood ... maybe  the daily killing of  animals ... maybe i was born to kill .. i killed  with mt hands ...  i killed   at close range   .. one time  i suffocated  gook by pushing his face  into some  buffalo shit ! .. i can kill without  remorse .. i have no cpnscience ... and now o wonder who i am   ?  .. i was once a lion ... and now i am  a weak   little  kitten   ....