Snow

People are hurring somewhere without reasons
Hurrying for their sins and pain
Striving to make  new mistakes
And pouring on sinner's heads grey rain
This rain cant wash off all the dirtiness
Grey and boring,its loveless
And I close my eyes
Praying about forgiveness.

And I want  the snow to cover trees
And I want it to cover your sins
With white virgin shroud
Return to you child's dreams
And I want the snow...
And I want the snow...

Dirtiness...its everywhere
And rain makes it only worse
People haven't stayed in the street
It's the huge sacrifice
I lift my head and feel
How tears fall from the sky,so slow
But wind changes them into ice
And I'm sorry that it isn't the snow
I'm sorry that it isn't the snow

And I want the snow to cover trees
And I want it to cover your sins
With white virgin shroud
Return to you child's dreams
And I want the snow...
And I want the snow... 


Рецензии
few things:

Hurrying

to make new mistakes

sinners' heads

makes it only worse

Sacrifice

I'm lifting head and feel but better raising otherwise it feels like you take your head in your arms and lifted it.

wind changes

and some minor apostrophe but that's nothing.

i liked this one as well. it has the atmosphere. Leonard Cohen atmosphere.

Динозавр Дэнвер   25.08.2011 20:06     Заявить о нарушении
Daaamn x) I take some mistakes when was rewriting it from rough copy x) But some mistakes I knew after your correct.My English is so bad..Thank you.Im glad that you liked it.
Good to your creation:)

Лестат Лионкур   25.08.2011 20:48   Заявить о нарушении
На это произведение написаны 3 рецензии, здесь отображается последняя, остальные - в полном списке.