Cocktail of the day

Then it comes. The moment of unexpected emptiness. You find your body injured, but no living sole can check it visually. Chest hurts, vacuum in it seems to widen with each inevitably coming next moment. But it remains unseen by Her eyes. 

Then despair. Erects itself on your shoulders, never asking permission, being too sound to avoid, too heavy to keep knees unbend. You thrust your fingers in your hair, close your eyes with unattractively strained face, trying to escape, to blur down these intense shower of reality in your head. No use. It still stays beyond Her vision.

Empty stare. Followed by paralyzed body. You make no move. Thoughts are frozen. You become unreachable for the outer world. Alone in your room. Be sure again She feels good at that very moment, never giving a thought to your state. What next?

Ceiling.Yes. White clear ceiling. Lying on your back you seek a way to Her care on that blank even surface. Idiot. Want Her tender hands to hug your head. Her lips to utter love. You close your eyes. Night makes a good job.

Morning brings you tranquility. Then again sudden evening comes to grab it away. Does She know the truth? Should She?