Thoughts

Night has visited this sleepy town, and rain quietly creating the melody of the night. I was laying on the sofa very still. I was listening to the music of the rain and my own pules. I stared at the ceiling with a plain expression on my face. I could feel that I'm loosing my conscious, but I stayed my ground and let the process to take over. My fingers were getting numb and my eyes were full of salty liquid.

I made another attempt to fall asleep, to dream where I could see your cheeky smile and your bright and kind eyes. After failing couple of times, I eventually, as I predicted, gave up on it. My brain worked twice as well then in the morning when I needed the most.

By realising that I'm here and you are there in the distance of three hour difference region where you are probably sleeping. The worst is a feeling of weakness. It dragging me as I start thinking of this. I'm slave of my own mind, how silly is that? I could almost loose myself in despair. I gather all what has left of my self-control, because I'm a fighter by my nature.

There are only few things that could help me to get through: faith, hope and finally the purest and unselfish love. I'm so grateful to people who gave me their love. So as his heart, it keeps me warm all the time. It is the only thing you can't prove, you either feel it or not. No matter where you are, no matter who you with, it will be always with you.

Yes.. I think of him all the time - in my sleep, when I'm awake, in the middle of the day, and again when I go to sleep with a huge smile on my face and him on my mind. Here, I'm exhausted, laying down, I can barely hear the rain that playing my lullaby and I almost can see his cheeky smile...