Close Call

Close Call
By Arkady Gershteyn
March 30, 2013

As I turned right I heard the police siren go off. I pulled over at the first open spot.
“License and registration,” ordered the police officer, eyeing me with suspicion.
I rummaged through the glove compartment and handed him the papers.
He went back to his car, leaving the headlights on. After about five minutes, he again approached the vehicle.
“Do you know why I stopped you kid?”
“No” I reply.
“According to your registration – you live in Newton.”
“I do, so?”
“You are aware of the high real estate taxes.”
“Yes”
“You do know that the roads are terrible and we have to patch up the same road several times a year.”
“True.”
“Moreover, you must know that the new health insurance requirement is costing you plenty. And given that you are young, you don’t need it. Now if you were to become ill, then you would lose your job, and thus your insurance, so it wouldn't help you. Really you are just paying for the insurance company to make a profit.”
“True.”
 “And we’ll be raising the property taxes soon too. The Newton voters approve.”
“I know.”
“Says you’re married kid. Do you know that 55% of marriages end in divorce. According to Massachusetts laws, you will give up half of all your assets and custody of small children will go to your spouse.”
“I know.”
“And gas is now $4.00 a gallon. So you should think twice before taking a trip on Saturday evening.”
“True.”
“Now kid, I’m feelin awful generous tonight. Maybe you have some alleviating circumstances…”
“It’s the spring and I just had a hamburger with my friend.” I retort.
“OK. I’m going to let it slide this time. Only a verbal warning. Now don’t let me catch you with that creepy smile again. Next time I’ll book you for disorderly conduct and reckless behavior.”
“No, officer. Thank you.”
He walked back to his car, and I drove off after he sped by my car.

It’s a blessing that it’s extremely difficult nowadays for law-abiding citizens to own and bear arms. Otherwise, few can resist the urge to wind down the car window, breath in some fresh air, and feel the delusion of freedom. Who know what will happen, people may just start smiling whenever they feel like it.