Mayhaps and Perhaps

Mayhaps and Perhaps
Once upon a time there lived Mayhaps and he lived in great comfort and peace. Mayhaps had a dear friend, Perhaps. Everything seemed to be fine, but nobody appeared to believe them. Rumour had it that Mayhaps would braid a rope and Perhaps would noose it.  Everyone knew that Mayhaps was Perhaps’s bosom brother. Mayhaps would hold on to Perhaps and so they would trip and fall to the ground. Mayhaps would hobnob with Perhaps and so they would fall into a pit, in the Gorky Park. This arrangement could go on forever until an extraordinary story happened to them…
And so it went. Mayhaps was at home lingering about listlessly. The one who lingers usually goes on short commons and sometimes even starves dreaming of otiose things. And so did Mayhaps. He was sitting near the oven dreaming of pies and quass, but he would not move a limb to do anything and only kept on saying, “Mayhaps the oven could light up?” And so it did – he did not even move a finger! So he continued, “Mayhaps pies could bake themselves, with a cabbage and potato filling?” Not even a second would pass when piping hot pies appeared in the oven. Mayhaps was still sitting so he went on, “It doesn’t befit to eat all these pies by myself. Mayhaps, Perhaps could come?” Unexpectedly, he heard a knock on the door. Mayhaps entered the anteroom and saw Perhaps take off his hat. Mayhaps was so happy inviting his guest to join him at the table. Mayhaps laid the table setting pies. Perhaps was in awe, wondering where Mayhaps got all these pies filled with cabbage and potatoes. Presently, Mayhaps could not contain himself and said, “Listen, Perhaps. This is what happened to me. Whatever I wish appears. Do you want to see? I want some quass!” All of a sudden, two pints of quass materialised on the table. Perhaps grinned and alleged, “Perhaps the pies are rotten on the inside?” He bit into one of them. “Yuck, what kind of yuck is that?!” enquired Perhaps squirming his face and spitting out the sop of the pie. And indeed all the pies appeared to be rotten on the inside, for they tore them all open. Swiftly, Perhaps took a pint of quass and said, “Perhaps your quass is spoilt too?!” He took a sip grimacing more than ever, “Bother! What kind of gunk have you shoved into my face?” And so they emptied their pints pouring quass out. And they remained hungry for ever. Ochone, Perhaps should not have begrudged Mayhaps anything.