Sallstrom Varg Larsson- Escape from the Emptiness

ASTRID Lovisa S;LLSTR;M
och
Anders VARG LARSSON

ESCAPE FROM THE EMPTINESS...
 

She loved the sun and the sea. She loved to look at the boundless distance of the ocean. Waves , waves , waves...They absorbed all her thoughts. She could  spend hours looking at this blue. Thoughts , thoughts , thoughts...How far she was from reality. Nobody saw her tears - she was always so fun...She danced - across the Universe , and the movements were so easy. No one could match her in this endless dance. It was her life. In this dance, she flew away into space , thoughts were pure and naive. There, in this cosmic dance - only there...she was so...as a child. She loved children - as only a child can love truly. And she was like a child. She knew that the world is so cruel -and she was  hurt by this. She hated violence and war. And she loved Dostoevsky.
Water, water, water....Millions of tears for the millions of years of violence humanity over itself. Often she felt an almost physical pain of misunderstanding. She could not understand why people hate those unlike themselves. She loved the country where she was born , but sometimes she hated those red-bearded Viking who love vodka - and who hate foreigners.
Ocean...silent water...the wind blows from the sea..early morning. Now she felt so god. Death...Death...Death...Thoughts of death sometimes visited to her...When the pain from a misunderstanding became very acute. It seems , once that the violet-black darkness almost won. But...then she saw Sunny , her daughter , and she saw her smile. The little girl asked her - Mom, why are you crying - because today such a sunny day ? And I`m such a solar..
- Don`t worry , babe - I`m crying because our world so beautiful ...she said...She walked through the dark night , the twilight of her thoughts. Only Sunny saved her.
- God is so far away - she thought. And danced alone. But not always. Red-beard Vikings who like Ultima Thule and vodka did not attract her. Although she knew them. When violet-black darkness covers the whole...She was looking for a place where there is no darkness. Perhaps there are other men - she dreamed. She went to the place where people love vodka too , but they say that the people there have a generous soul. She hoped that she would find there one thing that people lost forever..The Love..And the darkness will disappear. There was a time - and she thought - that it happened. Then comes the disappointment. And she decided that the world lost love. Forever. She would not let anyone in her heart. Only she and Sunny..and...
...Dance..Dance..Dance..When she danced - she forgot all...all the pain...all darkness...all thoughts of the imperfection of the world. She wanted to be free...and she did not believe anyone...Sometimes dreams of love returned to her...but she let them off...She was cheerful...and everyone thought - what is it happy girl. And everybody - knew - that she was an angel on earth...

 
...She did not like to dance. But she also loved for a long time looking at the water. Yellow sand on the beach in the day in September , after a short Scandinavian summer. No one could understand her. She flew away , in her thoughts , in purple-black underworld. She was looking for HIM there. She wanted to ask HIM - If you, Oh , Lord , so great - why children are hungry ? Why kill for skin color ? Why go to war ? Why ??? ...She did not find HIM here...
Then she looked up to heaven. Maybe he`s there. She wanted to ask HIM - If you, Oh , Lord , so great - Why husbands raping wives ? Why parents beat their children ? Why in your world...in your world...Why - in your world - the Love does not live here anymore ??? Why ???..but she did not find HIM here...She could not find The God anywhere ...It was so painful...she wanted to die..
When she was christened - she was given the name - which means : The Lord is my light. And she wanted to give love for the people...But what could she do ? She was an actress..She did not play for money...She was looking for - not The God - she did not find HIM...she was looking for a light that illuminates the path to...Every time she played like a last time...last time in your life..She knew that she would die...when she will be about 30...Sandra in the film "Under Ytan"..."Hot Dog"...Life and Death...The Pain and The Emptiness...Tears...mental problems...She was very difficult to understand...She was very vulnerable...She felt the pain of another person - as their own pain...Every minute, with every beat of her heart - she killed herself - because she lived - in the arts - for people...forgetting yourself...Many loved her - but nobody wanted to know...what she has there..there...UNDER YTAN...She could not find the light...which was supposed to give us God...She did not know that she burns herself - for other people...for the Love...Each time playing the role - like Sandra in the movie "Under Ytan" or like Linda in the series "Wallander" - she died a thousand times...but she lived in their roles..And she lives in their roles now.
Why so short Swedish summer ???!!! Actually, Swedes live long...But...the best of us...often leave us young...
...Thailand...Tsunami....Thousand deaths...a giant waves , destroying everything on the way. Her brother...Her daughter Talullah...Eerie cries of animals , birds , people...And thousands upon thousands of corpses...Death around...End of the world came in The Christmas...Again..she did not find HIM there - among the thousands of corpses...Now...she did not want to look for HIS grace...amazing grace...She did not believe in HIM already...She knew that only she can save them...Her brother...and...the most precious thing in her life - Talullah...and she did it....than...she lived for two and a half years...but..she died..then...in December 2004 - in Thailand...How long can withstand the psyche of vulnerable girls this cruel world...She was still alive...but she died...but...she saved one diamond...her daughter...what could be more important ?
"Wallander"...Twenty six episodes of the police series. Only she knew - how hard it was for her...We do not know - looked Johanna the program of Russian channel NTV...The program about Russian " golden youth" on the beaches of Thailand after the tsunami. Note - The Evil has no nationality. These people dancing on the beach , where a week ago, thousands of corpses were lying...it is not Russian...They have nothing in common with the great people of the thousand-year history. It is a product of the system of corruption and theft , causing a sense of impunity - which has no political color...Mentally she died there in pain for hundreds of thousand killed by the tsunami..."Golden Youth" dancing on the bones...
...She was like a bird...She flew to the light. She did not know that she is the light..."The Seagull" by Anton Chekhov...She loved the sea , she wanted to fly...she sought the God...in heaven and on the earth...she did not find anything...for herself...But she gave - those who love her...
Her mind is not sustained. Attack happened on the scene...Mental hospital...Long weeks of treatment...Doctors said - everything is OK...She returned home...February 13, 2007. Empty Room. Tedious wait for spring. Terrible pain in her soul. She could not find a place...Longing for a daughter...Sleeping pills...She wanted to escape from reality. She wanted to get away from the reality of this cold, cold and cruel world...She wanted so...She wanted to see reality of her unreachable dream. Now she wanted to see his light. The Room was dark. Johanna was very tired.
...There is only emptiness - she thought...She wanted to sleep. Finally, her subconscious won the game against the mind... Sleeping pills...She wanted to rest..
...Her eyes were closing. She did not feel her body. Only music. She could not understand who sings...The music was very quiet.
"Just think off all those hungry mouths we have to feed ,
Take a look  at all the suffering we breed
So many lonely faces scattered all around
Searching for what they need.

IS THIS THE WORLD WE CREATED ?
WHAT DID WE DO IT FOR ?
IS THIS THE WORLD WE INVADED
AGAINST THE LAW ?
SO IT SEEMS IN THE END
IS THIS WHAT WE`RE ALL LIVING FOR TODAY
THE WORLD..THAT WE CREATED...

You know that everyday a helpless child is born
Who needs some loving care inside a happy home
SOMEWHERE A WEALTHY MAN IS SITTING ON HIS THRONE
WAITING FOR LIFE TO GO BY...

IS THIS THE WORLD WE CREATED, WE MADE IT ON OUR OWN
IS THIS THE WORLD WE DEVASTATED, RIGHT TO THE BONE
IF THERE`S A GOD IN THE SKY LOOKING DOWN
WHAT CAN HE THINK OF WE`VE DONE
TO THE WORLD THAT HE CREATED ???"
- IS THIS THE WORLD WE CREATED ? - QUEEN....

- Freddie, you came for me - Johanna asked...she felt no longer...almost nothing...And at the same moment...She saw HIM...
- I`ve been looking for you , a very long time...I was bad...very bad...WITHOUT YOU...I`m dying...WHY...WHY DID YOU COME SO LATE...TOO LATE...TELL ME WHY ?  I NEEDED YOUR LOVE...SO MUCH...
...White light illuminated the room where lay Johanna`s body.
Violet-black demons flew - terrified of the light...The Light of Love...
Johanna was dead....
The light shine brighter. Hanna`s body was left in an empty room. But her soul ascended to HIM , whom she had so long sought...White light absorbed all..There was silence in the room...deadly silence...
...Suddenly...Deadly silence was broken by a voice...
-  TELL ME WHY ??????  I WAS ALWAYS WITH YOU !!!!!
...White light illuminated dead face of Johanna...She could not answer....TELL ME WHY ????????........
Tell me WHY, my angel in heaven...
 
...Astrid looked at the beach , washed by the waters of the Caribbean...You probably realized who she was - an angel on the earth..Dance..Dance..Dance..Not alone...Next to Astrid was a guy...who does not like to Viking...rather on the Jew. She did not love him , but she was okay with him. She knew there was a Viking who loved her...Who loves her madly...but besides Astrid..this Viking...like all of them...He loves whiskey and Ultima Thule...She was afraid of his love...
Her thoughts sped away. Suddenly The Need to unreachable dream of love has become very important. Caribbean disappeared. The mist covered all. At first she thought that she had died. She did not know where she is...Her daughter Sunny was laughter...
-  We fly , we fly - she cried...
Next to Astrid was he...Whom she was so afraid...Viking..A Wolf...She wanted to tell him - stop following me...but...instead of those words...unexpected for herself..she said...follow me...
...They flew , although they did not have wings. The Time disappeared, and the force did not have the end. Sunny was close to them. They looking down - and they saw the purple-black hell, where witches flying on a broomstick...but how this hell was far away from them...They looked to the left - and saw the green lawn where peacefully played The Royal Varg , The Royal Kanin and Sankari. They looked up - and saw The Angel in The Heaven...They lived and it was another life...It seems - it is a fairytale..
They look right..And they saw a sign - THE ENTRANCE...They flew there. They felt a single entity. Sunny was ahead. Bright white light met them...The Light of Life..Love Light..They saw a world without violence and war , without racism and hatred....
You might to say - it does not happen...but...
ESCAPE FROM THE EMPTINESS...
REALITETEN AV ;NSKEDR;M...
ENTREE A L`INFINI !!!
Astrid Lovisa S;llstr;m och Anders Varg Larsson.
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В рамках проекта "Fr;n Valborg till ValhallA".

16.maj,2014 23:34, ST.