Цитаты свами Муктананды

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http://leavingsiddhayoga.net/
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http://www.bookstore.siddhayoga.org/
http://wwww.siddhayogachicago.org/
http://www.siddhayogaaustin.org/
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http://www.siddhayoga.org.au/
http://www.jnana.ru/classics/goleman17.html
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10. ИНДИЙСКАЯ ТАНТРА И КУНДАЛИНИ ЙОГА

Тантрическая традиция, зародившаяся в Индии, является, согласно некоторым источникам, разработкой древних шаманских практик, нашедших свое отражение как в индуистской, так и в буддистской медитационных системах (Eliade, 1970). Индийская тантра изменяет сознание с помощью восходящих энергий, которые обычно находятся в латентном состоянии. Некоторые системы медитации, завезенные на Запад, уходят своими корнями в "Кундалини йогу", тантрическое учение. Кундалини, гласит тантрическая физиология,— это гигантский резервуар духовной энергии, расположенный в основании позвоночника. При восхождении Кундалини по позвоночнику она проходит через шесть центров, или чакр, достигая седьмого центра на макушке головы. Кундалини имеет некоторые специфические соответствия с западными анатомическими представлениями. Чакры соответствуют энергетическим структурам, локализованным в определенных физических центрах.

Когда Кундалини собирается в той или иной чакре, она активизирует определенные энергии, характерные для этой чакры. Каждая чакра имеет символический набор отношений, настроений и душевных состояний, которые овладевают умом человека, когда Кундалини возбуждает их. Первая чакра, расположенная между анусом и гениталиями, относится к борьбе за выживание. Территориальность, обладание, грубая сила, чрезмерная озабоченность своим телом и здоровьем, страх за свою безопасность — таковы душевные состояния этой чакры. Вторая чакра воплощает сексуальность и чувственность. Она располагается в гениталиях. При активности этой чакры в человеке преобладают похоть, жадность и жажда чувственных наслаждений. Стремление к могуществу и влиянию на других связано с третьей чакрой, расположенной возле пупка. Убеждение других или манипулирование ими в своих собственных целях — таково поведение, свойственной третьей чакре.

Большинство людей большую часть своего времени зависят от душевных состояний, при которых активны эти три первые чакры. Цель Кундалини-йоги — подъем этих энергий вверх к высшим центрам, точно так же, как Каббала стремиться поднять сознание на высшие планы. Четвертая чакра, в центре груди возле сердца, олицетворяет бескорыстную любовь и служение другим. Чистая любовь матери к своему ребенку истекает из четвертой чакры. Но любовь четвертой чакры не романтична: она, скорее, сочетается с трезвой беспристрастностью, движимой состраданием. Когда Кундалини активизирует три самых верхних чакры, йог переживает трансцендентные состояния. Эти три чакры расположены следующим образом: пятая чакра в горле, шестая — в центре лба и седьмая — на макушке головы. Медитирующий стремится высвободить Кундалини из нижних чакр, где она обычно бывает заключена, и поднять ее к высшим чакрам. Когда Кундалини достигает седьмой чакры и остается там, йог испытывает состояние экстаза и единения с Богом. Он считается освобожденным, свободным от пут тех привычек и действий, которые берут начало из трех нижних чакр и которым подвержено большинство людей.

Сущность тантрической практики состоит в использовании чувств с целью превзойти чувственное сознание в самадхи. Хотя чувства являются, конечно, тем, что во всех техниках нужно преодолевать с помощью однонаправленности, тантризм уникален по разнообразию методов, которые он предлагает для преодоления чувственного сознания. В некоторых из них используются мантры, в других — янтры,— объекты для упражнений в визуализации, такие как мандала; концентрация на шабда — сверхтонких внутренних звуках; пранаямы и асаны; майтхуна — пробуждение шакти (энергии Кундалини) через ритуальные контролируемые половые сношения.

Майтхуна является тантрической техникой, которая более всего привлекает людей западного мира, в большинстве случаев ошибочно принимающих ее как потворство своим собственным сексуальным аппетитам, а не как средство овладения ими. Ритуальные сношения — это мощное средство для подъема энергии Кундалини, позволяющее держащему себя под контролем йогу поднять свою энергию к высшим планам.

Майтхуна — это одно из пяти действий, находящихся под общим запретом среди индийских йогов, но используемое тантристами школы Бон Марг или "левого пути". Первыми четырьмя действиями являются ритуальное поедание рыбы, мяса, ритуальное же употребление спиртных напитков и выполнение определенных мудр. Все это тантристы совершают в строго предписанной манере, как прелюдию к майтхуне. Во время ритуала тантрист молчаливо совершает "джапу" (безмолвное произнесение) своей собственной мантры, данной ему гуру, а временами повторяет некоторые другие мантры. Во время самой майтхуны йог внимательно выполняет установленные ритуальные действия, включая и то, где и как касается тела своего партнера.

В майтхуне мужчина пассивен, женщина активна; движений мало, так как целью является скорее подъем энергии, чем достижение кульминационной точки. Во время сношения тантрист молча повторяет мантру, такую как, например, "Ом, о богиня, сверкающая в огне моего Я, используя ум как жертвенный черпак, я, вовлеченный в работу органов чувств, приношу эту жертву". В момент эякуляции он должен повторять мантру, которая освящает его семя, как жервоприношение (Бхараи. 1970). Ключом к майтхуне, точно так же, как и целью всех таятристских практик, является бесстрастие, рождаемое в Самадхи. Это бесстрастие превращает энергию желаний в энергии высших планов. Тантрические тексты часто повторяют (Е1шйе, 1970, р.263): "Путем тех же действий, что заставляют некоторых людей гореть в аду в течение тысяч лет, йогин получает вечное спасение".

Язык тантры скрытен и допускает много интерпретаций. Действия, которые постороннему взгляду могут показаться неуместными, могут иметь внутри тантры специальное глубокое значение. Одним из примеров такого двойного значения в тантре является "капала" — чаша, сделанная кз человеческого черепа и установленная на серебряной подставке. В описании к ней в музее можно прочесть: "Сосуд содержит Амриту, используемую для совершения эзотерических ритуалов. Те. кто имеет такие дуалистичные представления, как чистое и нечистое, не могут и помыслить об использовании человеческого черепа. Но тантристы, достигшие трансцендентальной мудрости, не имеют предрассудков, и для них золотой кубок и человеческий череп — одно и то же. Черепа использовались для символизации такого отношения".

Одним из современных вариантов Кундалини-йоги является "Сиддха-йога", которой обучает Свами Муктананда. Практика этой системы начинается с таких традиционных методов, как асана, пранаяма, песнопения, джапа. Начинающему даются инструкции к медитации над мантрой "Гуру Ом" или мантрой "со-хам" на каждом дыхании. Муктананда акцентирует внимание на отношениях гуру и ученика. Ядром тренировок в Сиддха-йоге является традиция, при которой гуру предоставляет ученику возможность прямого, мгновенного трансцендентного переживания. Этот процесс, называемый "шактипат дикша", является посвящением посредством слова, взгляда или прикосновения. При этой передаче Шакти (энергия Кундалини) ученика, приблизившегося к своему учителю с любовью, благоговением и верой, поднимается.

Когда это происходит, все другие практики могут быть отброшены. Внутренняя деятельность Кундалини порождает спонтанную медитацию, пранаяму, асаны, мудры без предшествующей этому тренировки или волевых усилий ученика. Говорят, что этот процесс очищения через "шактипат" занимает от трех до двенадцати лет. За этот период он трансформирует всю личность ученика, который отказывается от своего "ограниченного я". Ученик приобретает чувство "единства со всепроникающим Космическим Интеллектом". Муктананда описывает этот процесс с помощью образов и терминологии, относящихся к Кундалини: "... Кундалини, пребывающая в муладхаре, постепенно восходит вверх, пронизывая на своем пути чакры, пока не достигает сахасрары — тысячелепесткового лотоса на макушке головы... и духовные устремления ученика осуществляются". Во время "шактипат" медитирующий может переживать широкую гамму непроизвольных реакций. В их число входят сильные приступы радости, вялости или возбуждения; причудливые телесные позы, жесты, дрожь или танцевальные позы; чувство изумления или страха; периоды боли во всем теле; различные движения внутри, дрожь а мышцах, спонтанная глубокая медитация; видения световых образов, божеств или райских пейзажей, сопровождаемые огромной радостью и блаженством; и наконец, существует еще "божественный свет с неописуемым блеском" или тонкий внутренний звук во время медитации (Муктананда, 1970).

Эти феномены служат цели очищения медитирующего до такой степени, чтобы он смог поддерживать турийя (состояние, близкое к дхьяне) во время трех обычных состояний: сна без сновидений, сна со сновидениями и бодрствования. В дальнейшем он достигает состояния турийятита, когда Кундалини обосновывается в верхней чакре, сахасраре. Человек в этом продвинутом состоянии забывает телесное сознание, наслаждается неописуемым блаженством и глубоким спокойствием и достигает "плодов йоги", оставаясь "всегда погруженным в высшее состояние", что бы он ни делал. Всякое действие он выполняет умиротворенно и спокойно. Ученик Муктананды Амма говорит об одном их этих состояний: "Для него не существует ничего, что нужно было бы сделать или чего нужно бы было достигнуть; тем не менее он принимает участие з мирской деятельности, оставаясь при этом ее свидетелем". Человек в состоянии "турийятита" становится сиддхой, что означает, что он обладает сверхъестественными психическими силами, к числу которых принадлежит способность пробуждать по своему желанию Кундалини в других.

Среди всех традиционных систем медитации только Тантра-йога видит в достижении йогом сиддх, или сверхъестественных психических сил, ознаменование завершения его пути. В одном тантрическом тексте говорится:

"Всякая садхана прекращается после того, как она приносит свои плоды в виде сиддх". Некоторые тантрические практики разработаны специально для того, чтобы развивать определенные сиддхи, такие как телепатия. Одной из причин, по которой сиддхи могут для некоторых означать освобождение, является то, что обладание этими силами подразумевает нахождение в высоком состоянии. Но медитация остается корнем всех тантристских практик; подъем Кундалини — средство, Самадхи — цель.

Назад Вперед









From The New Yorker, November 14, 1994

                ANNALS OF RELIGION

                O GURU, GURU, GURU

     The spiritual movement known as SYDA boasts a glittering clientele

  and a multimillion-dollar Catskills retreat. But behind all the serenity
                lie some

  uncomfortable, ill-kept secrets-and a less than blissful struggle about
                succession.

                BY LIS HARRIS

On a damp day last fall, some three thousand people from all over the world
gathered in a huge glass-and-marble pavilion in a rundown pocket of the
Catskill Mountains to chant, meditate, and dance in rapt circles under the
beneficent eye of their revered teacher and spiritual guide, Gurumayi
Chidvilasananda. The singsong Sanskrit chanting, the saris of the (mostly
Western) women devotees, and the thick, sweet scent of incense lent the
scene a hint of the sixties and early seventies. Gurumayi, as she is
usually referred to, is a beautiful, energetic thirty-nine-year-old Indian
woman who was named by the Honolulu-based monthly magazine Hinduism Today
as one of the ten most influential international Hindu leaders of the last
decade. She is the spiritual head of the Siddha Yoga Dham (or Home of
Siddha Yoga) of America Foundation, known by the acronym SYDA-the dominant
American arm of a thriving organization that maintains five hundred and
fifty meditation centers and ten ashrams scattered around the world. In one
way or another, tens of thousands of people, ranging from live-in devotees
to occasional visitors and mediators, are involved in SYDA's activities.
Its five hundred-and-fifty-acre Catskill ashram, near the village of South
Fallsburg, New York, serves as its headquarters. At South Fallsburg,
photographs of the guru-with her thousand-watt smile, wide eyes, and
elegantly chiselled cheekbones-adorn nearly every wall, cash register, shop
counter, and shelf, as well as her devotees' private meditation altars and
many of their car dashboards. There are also plenty of photographs of
SYDA's founder and Gurumayi's predecessor, Swami Muktananda Paramahamsa.
Swami Muktananda, who died in October, 1982, at the age of seventy-four,
was one of the most prominent of the numerous Indian spiritual teachers who
flourished in the United States two decades ago. Devotees still refer to
him by the honorific nickname Baba, or Father.

South Fallsburg started out, in 1976, as a modest operation run out of the
rented rooms of an old hotel; its sprawling complex now has an estimated
market value of fifteen to seventeen million dollars. Muktananda
disapproved of loans and debt, and SYDA reportedly paid mostly in cash for
three dilapidated prewar Catskill hotels-the Brickman, Gilbert's, and the
Windsor. They have now been sleekly modernized, in country-club-glitz
style, as Anugraha (Descent of Grace), Sadhana Kutir (House of Spiritual
Practices), and Atma Nidhi (Treasure of the Self). Around the ashram's main
building, the neatly landscaped grounds are scattered with Disneyesque
painted-plaster likenesses of Indian gods, reflecting the scope of the
Hindu pantheon.

Nobody knows how rich SYDA is: as a nonprofit religious organization, it is
not required to declare its income or pay property taxes. Most of the
devotees who work at the ashrams are unpaid; many pay rent to live there.
During a summer weekend, several thousand people may visit the South
Fallsburg ashram, and SYDA can raise more than a million dollars from the
sale of food, books, tapes, and memorabilia and from "intensives" a type of
spiritual initiation program, usually lasting two days and costing four
hundred dollars. (The intensives follow a format similar to that of many
self-help programs of the seventies and early eighties, especially the est
program, a profitable self-help movement founded by Muktananda's friend
Werner Erhard.) Some years, intensives are held all summer long. In 1989,
revenue from the South Fallsburg bookstore alone was well over four million
dollars.

Over the years, SYDA has attracted a number of well-known admirers,
including Jerry Brown, John Denver, Andre Gregory, Diana Ross, Isabella
Rossellini, Phylicia Rashad, Don Johnson, Melanie Griffith, and Marsha
Mason. Most of Gurumayi's followers are college-educated people, who may
have been attracted to meditation for spiritual reasons but are just as
likely to have sought out one of her ashrams for the psychological and
health benefits that the meditative process is said to confer. The
pop-culture image of the ashram visitor as dazed flower child or potential
Manson groupie is outdated. Long after the Beatles took off their kurtas,
and the last string of love beads was tossed in the trash, many serious
students of Eastern meditation in this country continued to find in the
practice riches that had eluded them in the mainstream religions of the
West. Doctors, lawyers, artists, business people, and religious-leaders of
many denominations are among the five million or so Americans who practice
yoga, and many of them can be found on what is sometimes called the New Age
religion scene-a peculiar name, really, since the traditions these groups
draw from are among the oldest in the world.

The occasion for the gathering that fall morning was the last day of a
yajna a (pronounced "yagnya"), an ancient Vedic fire ceremony, which was
presided over by sixteen Brahman priests who had been flown from India to
South Fallsburg to help commemorate the eleventh anniversary of Swami
Muktananda's death. The yajna was held in the pavilion, which has blue
neon-lighted pillars that make it look (especially at night) like a cross
between a mother spaceship and a small sports stadium. Kathy Nash, the SYDA
spokesperson, a chipper woman with light-brown hair who used to work as an
anchor for a Monterey, California, TV station, steered me to a cushion on
the women's side of pavilion. (Men and women traditionlly sit apart in
ashrams.) The sixteen orange-robed priests, who all week had been chanting
and casting offerings of spices, and flowers into a blazing fire sunk into
the pavilion floor, were being garlanded and enfolded in long shawls as a
gesture of thanks. About fifty feet from the firepit sat a red-robed figure
wearing a raffish-looking, high-crowned, unadorned red hat, whom I took at
first to be a beautiful boy, perhaps an acolyte. But when the figure's face
appeared, hugely magnified, on two closed-circuit screens suspended from
the ceiling, I could see that I had in fact been looking at the startlingly
glamorous Gurumayi.

Gurumayi remained a distant presence, but that evening I was introduced to
her at darshan-a ritual in which devotees and visitors receive a blessing
from the guru in the form of a tap on the head with a wand of peacock
feathers. Sitting on a throne, she beamed her powerful smile a me, tapped
me with the feathers, and gave me a frank once-over, followed by another
generous blast of smile. A nimbus of electricity seemed to surround her.
She asked if I had seen the yagna ceremony. I said I'd caught only a bit of
it at the end, because I'd lost my reading glasses earlier, and that had
delayed my arrival. "You think so much," she said, smiling again.

I nodded, though I had no idea what she meant. Then, sensing impatience in
the long line behind me, I started to edge sidewise, away from the throne.
I was detained be a regal movement of the guru's hand as she signaled to a
young attendant on the floor beside her. The attendant quickly rose and
draped a garland of gardenias around my neck.

SEVERAL months later, at New York's John F. Kennedy International Airport,
a rather less beatific scene unfolded. On the evening of February 1, 1994,
a car pulled up to the Lufthansa section of the international terminal, and
a tall, bearded, powerfully built Indian in his early thirties got out. He
was dressed in a swami's traditional orange robe, and he was accompanied by
two women, both Western in appearance. As the three were making their way
to the terminal, five men, waiting at the curb, approached them menacingly
and began shouting "You're dragging Baba's name in the mud!"

The main object of this attention, the man in the orange robe, was the
younger brother of Gurumayi. Born Subhash Shetty, in Bombay, he had, like
his sister, been given a new name-Nityananda. Like Gurumayi, Nityananda is
a meditation teacher with an ashram (though a tiny one) in the Catskills.
And, like her, he claims to be an inheritor of Swami Muktananda's spiritual
mantle. Indeed, Muktananda had named him his sole successor in July of
1981, and about a year later, a few months before he died, changed the
decree to name him and his sister his official co-successors. But
Nityananda stepped down under mysterious circumstances in 1985, and today
his picture is conspicuously absent at SYDA ashrams. The women accompanying
him, Inge Fichelmann and Kimberly Cable, who use the Sanskrit names Nirguna
and Devayani respectively, were his principal assistants.

The five men doing the shouting were all known to Nityananda, and all were
active devotees of Gurumayi. Among them was a member of SYDA's three-person
Executive Management Council, which oversees the day-to-day running of the
South Fallsburg ashram. According to Nirguna, another of the men, a
longtime devotee named Ganesh Irelan, put his face right up to Nityananda's
and said loudly, "I'm going to follow you till the day you die!" Devayani
ran inside to the ticket counter to call for the police, but by the time
they arrived the men had been chased away from the Lufthansa ticketing area
by an airport security guard. The guard, Joseph Mee, later told me that
he'd never seen anything quite like the scene that followed. Lufthansa
stowed Nityananda and Devayani, who were scheduled to depart for Germany on
the first leg of a trip to India, in the first-class lounge, though they
weren't traveling first class. When the flight was announced, Mee and other
guards formed a human wall around them and started walking them to the
departure gate. But the five men had managed to slip through an unguarded
door to the departure area "They all looked the same, to put it bluntly.
They looked like clones," Mee said. "They were saying that he was a cult
figure ...and meantime they're acting like complete fools." Nityananda and
Devayani managed to board the plane but not before being followed to the
boarding gate by the five men, who, Mee added, had to be "pushed aside" to
clear the way.

This incident, with its mixture of slapstick and menace, is only one of the
more recent in a long series of curious and sometimes disturbing events,
and it is a reminder that behind the vision of Catskill bliss lies a more
complicated tale, one that traces its roots to a bitter family schism and,
before that, to SYDA's founder.

SWAMI MUKTANANDA PARAMAHAMSA, Gurumayi's-and Nityananda's-predecessor,
began his spiritual searching's at the age of fifteen but didn't find his
own guru until he was thirty-nine, in 1947. According to SYDA's
ecclesiastical constitution, "the Siddha Yoga lineage of Gurudisciple ...
goes back ... in time thousands of years beginning with the primordial
Guru, Shiva." Historically, though, Muktananda's lineage goes back no
further than to his guru, Bhagawan Nityananda, an ecstatic, mostly silent
renunciant who, it is said, was born a Siddha (Sanskrit for "perfected
one") and claimed no physical guru of his own. Other students of Bhagawan
Nityananda also claimed to be his disciples, but they attracted far fewer
devotees. There have been Siddhas in India since time immemorial, and
numerous other Siddha lineages are represented in India today, but none has
a global following to rival SYDA's. In Siddha Yoga, a central goal is the
awakening of cosmic energy, or Shakti, which is said to be coiled at the
base of the spine, in a form called Kundalini, and which, when activated,
manifests itself as bliss. And it is through a guru that the Shakti is
awakened-by word, touch, look, or thought. As a matter of creed, this is
the role that Bhagawan Nityananda played for Muktananda, and it is the role
that Muktananda would play for thousands across the globe.

After coming to the United States in 1970, Muktananda traveled frequently
around the world, published more than thirty books, gave lectures, and
founded numerous ashrams and meditation centers. SYDA's official histories
say that he believed it was his mission to create a "meditation revolution"
in the West, and the hundreds of enthusiastic devotees who filled jumbo
jets-chartered by SYDA-to join Baba in India on two of his "world tours"
(he went on three, in the nineteen-seventies) must have seen that as a real
possibility. Most of Muktananda's devotees revered him as a saint, and many
students of his who shied away from that kind of vocabulary nonetheless
considered him the most impressive man they had ever known. Even diehard
rationalists who met him thought him a man of great charisma and charm.

Two apparently contradictory themes thread their way through Muktananda's
writings. On the one hand, he urges seekers not to be too credulous or to
yield too easily to the demands of the guru. "To love a Guru does not mean
to follow after him saying, 'O Guru, Guru, Guru,' " he writes. On the other
hand, he maintains, the only way to escape the bonds of ego is to surrender
to a guru-not by worshipping his physical form but by following his path
and teachings. "The Guru is absolutely necessary for one's life as
necessary as the vital force," he writes. A true guru, he adds, is "not an
individual, but the divine power of grace flowing through that individual.
That power is the Shakti that creates and supports the world." To sustain
such awesome powers, a guru "always practices the teachings he imparts to
others. He never breaks his own discipline. He follows strict celibacy." In
fact, Muktananda advised his devotees to refrain from sex, too. "For
mediation," he told a South Fallsburg audience in 1972, "what you need is
not dollars, not eggs, not sweets, nor chocolate or cakes. What you need is
this strength, this seminal vigor. Therefore I insist on total celibacy as
long as you are staying in the ashram." On such bedrock principles are
communities of belief grounded.

SEVERAL hundred people were living at the South Fallsburg ashram at the
time of my visit, but the vast majority of Gurumayi's devotees lead
conventional lives interspersed with weekend and summertime interludes at
the ashram. Even for them, the power of SYDA's practices is undeniable.
Some told me that the practice of Siddha Yoga had been more useful to them
than therapy; some that it had helped them to reconnect with their own
religions. And for other, whose involvement is less casual, it can be
completely life-transforming.

One such person is Sally Kempton, a long-term American devotee of
Gurumayi's. In 1974, she left a promising career as a journalist to join
the ashram. Kempton, the daughter of the Newsday columnist Murray Kempton,
had a reputation as an acerbic essayist for such publications as Esquire
and the Village Voice. In April, 1976, New York published a piece of hers,
entitled "Hanging Out with the Guru," in which she described Muktananda
holding court in a mansion in Pasadena, California, in 1974, with a big
crowd of people paying tribute to him with flowers and fruit as he touched
their heads with a wand of peacock feathers. Dressed in his customary
orange robe, ski cap, and sunglasses, the sixty-six-year-old guru seemed to
her to radiate a boyish insouciance, and to be "the least spaced-out person
in the room, a practical, solid presence." Kempton sat around listlessly as
devotees asked questions about visionary experiences, until one woman asked
a question that seemed to apply to her own life: "What do you do about
negative emotions?" His answer-"Let them go"-and his subsequent elaboration
of this approach to difficult problems had for her the force of a depth
charge, not because of the idea, which sounded like any number of pop
philosophies, but because of the spiritual authority and power she felt
behind it:

I felt as if a huge pool had opened in my heart (Oh God, I thought, it's
all true what those creeps were saying), and the pool was full of soft air,
and I was floating in it. It was the most intensely sensual feeling I had
ever had. It felt so good that my first reaction was a sharp pang of guilt,
a feeling that I had stumbled into some forbidden region, perhaps tapped a
pleasure center in my brain, which would keep me hooked on bodyless
sensuality, string me out on bliss until I turned into a vegetable.

Soon, she wrote, she stopped enjoying cigarettes, even though she had been
a smoker since the age of thirteen and had had no particular wish to quit.
She also began needing far less sleep, and she rarely got annoyed at things
that would have bothered her a lot in the past. A couple of weeks after
that first encounter, she was formally introduced to Muktananda, and three
months after that, in Denver, she joined his tour.

The New York article on Muktananda was one of Kempton's last pieces as a
popular-magazine writer. By the time it came out, she had joined
Muktananda's entourage; she has been a full-time member of his organization
ever since, and in 1982 she became a swami and was given the spiritual name
Durgananda. Her defection was a minor cause celebre in the small world of
New York journalism. Ross Wetzsteon, a former editor of hers at the Voice,
told me that he believes that her immersion in Siddha Yoga diminished her.
"Sally was a wonderfully gifted writer, and when she got involved with that
place she lost all her wit, all her irony, and all her perceptiveness," he
said. "It was as if her brain had gone completely soft. There was a
vacancy. She seemed hollow. People use the word 'brainwashed'-I know that
doesn't really apply, but it was as if her center had disappeared, not got
stronger."

Durgananda, who is fifty-one years old now, is a slim, fine-featured woman
with cropped dark-blond hair and large, intelligent pale-blue eyes. When I
met her, she was wearing a red robe and ski cap. Though she did not
remotely conform to the bliss-blob image the woman I sat with over a
vegetarian Indian lunch in the ashram's snack bar had a ready laugh and a
quick wit she did talk about the guru, as do many devotees, in somewhat
abstract terms. For example, she told me that a distinguishing feature of
Muktananda and Gurumayi, compared with other, run-of-the-mill gurus, "is
that they're fully enlightened. They've reached the goal."

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"You know it ultimately by your experience. You know it ultimately by the
state which you attain. But there are a lot of ways; that you can test or
that you can understand the state of the guru. One of them is that a master
is in a state of total equality awareness, and you see this cropping up. In
other words, without being spaced-out or out of this world, they really do
see everyone as equal. It's something that's so rare that we're not aware
of how much inequality we experience. ... Things like, you're too hot,
you're too cold, you're comfortable with this, you're not comfortable with
that, you want this, you don't want that. It's like the whole universe is
made up of better and worse and more and less. What you find with these
masters is not that they don't get cold or hot, and say, 'Turn down the
heat.' It's not like that. But you see them time and time again in
different situations and you see that there is this genuine unendingly joy
and equanimity."

When I asked Durgananda a few questions about Gurumayi's routines and
habits, her responses were guarded. All I could glean from them was that
Gurumayi ate alone, that she had a good sense of humor, and that she
thrived on helping people.

Some devotees to whom I spoke attested to life-altering visions they had
had of Gurumayi-sometimes before they had even met her-or talked of
prophetic dreams about her. Mainly, though, the powers attributed to
Gurumayi are in the realm of helping people to feel more "centered"; her
powers may also rest in an ability to attract well-educated, relatively
worldly followers. Gurumayi, by all accounts, is a cool, calm, confident
leader. Even so, I was firmly turned down each time I tried to find a way
past the barriers around her. Her policy, I was told, was not to grant
interviews to publications other than SYDA's own. By contrast, Muktananda
used to give interviews liberally, even appearing on numerous TV shows
(including one in Santa Monica in 1980 on which he gave the interviewer
shaktipat, as the transmission of spiritual power from guru to disciple is
called, during the commercial break), and in Gurumayi's early days as guru
she herself gave several. Moreover, I found, I could never amble around the
ashram's grounds on my own, or even sit in the lobby, without having a
smiling man with a walkie-talkie or some soft-spoken facilitator swoop down
on me. Many of my inquiries about SYDA's history seemed to be met by an air
of secrecy. And after I'd had what I thought of as a private conversation
with a devotee, the contents of that conversation were reported to the SYDA
staff by someone who had been standing nearby. Perhaps experience had made
them chary about the risks of making their affairs public.

SYDA'S first taste of scandal came when, shortly before his death, Swami
Muktananda was accused of failing to live up to the principles of celibacy
by which he set such store. The accusations saw print in a 1983 article by
William Rodarmor, published in CoEvolution Quarterly (now the Whole Earth
Review). Rodarmor's article was based on twenty five interviews with
members and former members of SYDA, and it detailed sexual activities
Muktananda was alleged to have engaged in with female devotees, many of
them fairly young. According to the article, members of Muktananda's inner
circle had overlooked his behavior, or tried to rationalize it, for years.
Then, in 1981, a swami named Stan Trout publicly distributed a letter in
which he accused the then seventy-three-year-old guru of betraying the
trust of young ashram women and causing their families anguish by
extracting sexual favors from them in the name of spiritual enlightenment.
Though Trout's letter troubled many in the SYDA community and sent shock
waves through the Yogic world, Muktananda chose to respond by circulating
within the fold a "Message from Baba," in which he quoted from the
fifteenth-century poet-saint Kabir ("The elephant strides at his own gait,
but the dogs do trail behind and bark"), and by telling devotees that they
"should know the truth by their own experience, not by the letters that
they receive."

Ex-devotees told Rodarmor that Muktananda used a specially built table at
the South Fallsburg ashram for his sexual encounters, that in India he had
a habit of visiting the girls' dormitories at night, and that it was his
custom to bestow gifts of money and jewelry on young women whom he summoned
to his room. (If a young woman suddenly appeared wearing new jewelry, the
ex-devotees said, it was understood that she had been tapped by the guru.)
Michael Dinga, an Oakland contractor and a former SYDA Foundation trustee
and devotee, who was in charge of construction at South Fallsburg for many
years but became disillusioned and left SYDA in 1980, told Rodarmor that
"it was supposed to be Muktananda's big secret, but since many of the girls
were in their early to middle teens, it was hard to keep it secret."

Investigating these claims, I tracked down approximately a hundred
ex-devotees, ex-trustees, and ex-swamis, all but a handful of whom either
so feared reprisals from SYDA or were so anxious not to be entangled with
the organization that they would talk to me only if I promised not to use
their names. A great number believed that the allegations about
Muktananda's behavior were true, and found it hard to believe that Gurumayi
could not be aware of it. A few former devotees told me that many people
considered it a signal honor to have been tapped by the guru; one said
those who had long-term relationships with him were known as his "queens,"
though some families and guardians of the young women sexually involved
with him had become very upset. Several people pointed out to me that,
whatever had happened, it was in a context of reverence so great that
devotees used to drink Muktananda's bathwater and worship the trimmings
from his haircuts, just as, soon enough, Gurumayi's attendants would vie to
sit in her dirty bathwater.

"A Siddha master can juice up the Shakti with sex," one longtime devotee
who left SYDA in the mid-eighties told me. In his book "Where Are You
Going?" Muktananda writes, "It is through the power of the upward-flowing
sexual fluid" that the guru "is able to give Shaktipat." In context, this
appears to be part of an argument for celibacy. But it may shed light on a
detail common to all accounts of sexual encounters with Muktananda: that he
did not ejaculate. Two women I talked with who were in their twenties when
Muktananda approached them said that they had considered their experience
to be "loving," and that it was "not exactly sex." What, exactly, was meant
by "not exactly sex" was clarified by another ex-devotee, a writer, who
sent me an unpublished account of what she described as a sexual encounter
she had at the age of twenty-six with the then seventy-one-year-old
Muktananda. After talking to her for a while in his room one evening about
the power of Kundalini, she reports, Muktananda told her that "the pleasure
we gain out of having sex also has a higher counterpart." Her account
continued:

He told me that when the Kundalini is fully realized, the body exists in a
state of permanent ecstacy. "It ever changes and is ever new."

He asked me to lie down on a table. He stood close to me and placed himself
inside of me. We stayed for about one and a half hours in that position.
During that whole he never had an erection or ejaculation. He never even
moved. We talked all the time. He joked a lot, and told me stories about
his childhood. At a certain moment he said: "Whatever happens now cannot be
understood with the mind. Don't think about it a lot. This is just
happening, that is all. Just know that this is the greatest day of your
life."

It was a very extraordinary experience. And he was right, I could never
understand with my mind what happened that evening. All I know was that I
was in a state of total ecstacy, and whatever happened had nothing to do
with sex.

In a letter that the woman sent me not long ago, she urged me to view her
experience, as she has, in a context of moral relativism. "The beautiful
example that the (true) Siddhas give us, which always touches me so deeply,
is their quality of non-judgment and total acceptance," she wrote, and
added, "The Grace of a Guru like Baba is something very mysterious."
Muktananda may well have considered his sexual encounters in a similar
light, and his wish, however hypocritical, to conceal them from public
view, and even from the majority of his own followers, may have been a
matter of public relations. A good number of those I spoke with, though
they were troubled by his double life, found spiritual explanations for his
behavior. Few considered the time they had spent with Muktananda to have
been mainly a destructive experience, or felt that his sexual activities
negated the spiritual gifts he had given them. Some speculated that the
sexual activity might be construed as goddess worship; others pointed to
precedents in Yogic history where sainted masters flouted conventional
mores because they themselves lived on a more esoteric plane. Two people
suggested that Muktananda's alleged preference for very young women, whom
he was said to have regularly chosen from a six-bed dormitory known as the
Princess Dorm, bespoke a need to borrow "extra energy" from them after he
had suffered three heart attacks. Finally, some devotees have speculated
that Muktananda was actually conducting Tantric spiritual initiations. (The
Tantra tradition is derived from a number of sixth-to-twelfth-century
mystical Hindu and Buddhist scriptures that describe a range of
practices-including a form of sexual congress in which ejaculation is
controlled-for attaining exalted states of awareness and enlightenment.)
But the Tantric scholars I spoke to dismissed such explanations. "This kind
of behavior should not be legitimized by calling it Tantra," Robert
Thurman, the chairman of the Department of Religion at Columbia, told me.
"The occasional shocking incident, even in legends, demonstrates exactly
the degree to which such behavior stands against the tradition."

The closest Muktananda ever came to explaining his behavior, some say, was
in the oblique form of a talk given by Pratap Yande, a longtime Indian
devotee, shortly before the guru's death and published after it, in the
October, 1982, issue of Siddha Path, the sect's monthly magazine. The talk,
entitled "Never Go Too Close to a Saint," was about a great seventeenth
century saint named Ranganath, who lived his youth as an ascetic but at a
certain point had a vision instructing him to accept the worldly things he
might be offered. By and by, the vision came true, and he was given a
beautiful horse, servants, and elegant clothes, and proceeded to live in a
luxurious way, which many people around him found "confusing." One day, the
story goes, a pious king came upon Ranganath (who was still supposed to be
a renunciant) lying in bed with two beautiful women who were massaging his
feet. When the king saw Ranganath thus disporting himself, "a little doubt
about his saintliness" entered his mind. Sensing this, Ranganath dismissed
the women, called for a silver bucket, "closed the door, and in the
presence of the king he ejaculated his seminal fluid into the bucket,
filling it to the brim." Shortly thereafter, calling upon an esoteric Yogic
practice called mahavajroli mudra, "he reabsorbed all of the semen within
himself and went back to sleep," and the two women returned and continued
their foot therapy. The moral of the story: "It is impossible to understand
a Siddha." As it was, there remained some devotees who could not accept a
spiritual explanation of any sort, and reluctantly concluded that, though
Muktananda's spiritual power was undeniable, their teacher was neither as
enlightened nor as infallible as they had believed; still others felt
revulsion and shock when they learned of his behavior. Scores of active
devotees eventually left SYDA after hearing about the allegations against
Muktananda; some never resumed their practices. "My personal opinion is
that it's not OK, regardless of whether it's a time-honored tradition," I
was told by a female ex-devotee who had spent much of an anguished year
trying to find a satisfactory explanation of the whole business. "It was
sex and it was abuse." The same woman, who had been a member of SYDA's
inner circle, was informed that she was unwelcome at the ashram after she
found that she couldn't deal with Muktananda's alleged sexual activities;
she told Durgananda that she was leaving because of issues of personal
integrity. "And what she said-I'll never forget it-was 'Well, you have the
luxury of integrity. People who are committed don't have that luxury.' It
just raised the hair on the back of my neck." Durgananda says that she does
not remember making this remark.

SYDA has steadfastly stuck to the position that Muktananda never strayed
from celibacy, and its swamis have taken pains to teach ways of handling
questions about the issue in role-playing training sessions with its
meditation teachers. One American swami to whom I spoke-Kripananda, an
ex-college professor who had lived and traveled extensively with
Muktananda-vigorously denied every allegation. Kripananda said that at
SYDA's Indian ashram, in Ganeshpuri, about fifty miles from Bombay, her
room was adjacent to the stairs between the girls' dormitory, above, and
Muktananda's room, directly below. The walls and doors were so thin that
she could hear him sneeze or cough, and she had never heard anything
suspicious. Nor did any of the girls complain to her about sexual
molestation, she said, though they constantly came to her with their
problems.

Durgananda called the accusations "laughable" and "ridiculous." Had they
been true, she said, Muktananda would not have been able to go on giving
shaktipat and the organization would not have continued to be as healthy as
it was. Recently, however, I spoke with two longtime SYDA meditation
teachers with well established academic and professional careers as
psychotherapists, who say that Durgananda sounded a different note with
them. They told me that last winter they had investigated some of the
allegations, had sadly concluded that they were true, and, in May of this
year, confronted Durgananda and another swami, demanding to know why the
truth had been kept from them for so many years. The confrontation occurred
away from the ashram, and this time, according to the therapists,
Durgananda did not say that the allegations were false. Durgananda told the
therapists that she knew a number of the women quite well and was convinced
that whatever had happened had been beneficial to them, but that the swamis
had never talked about it, because they thought it would be more
appropriate to be "discreet." The therapists have now left SYDA. When I
phoned Durgananda and told her what they had said to me, she said, "My
memory is that I did deny it to them," and she added that, whether the
allegations were "true or not, it doesn't really change our understanding
of Baba."

As disturbing as the sexual allegations were, Michael Dinga, the former
SYDA Foundation trustee, and other ex-devotees gave Rodarmor equally
disturbing descriptions of strong-arm tactics used to hush up ex-devotees
or punish them for disloyalty. Over the years, the ex-devotees said,
various "enforcers" confronted and threatened those not in SYDA's favor.
Dinga and his wife, Chandra, told Rodarmor that they were subjected to
months of harassment. Through a message left on another ex-devotee's
answering machine, Rodarmor wrote, the Dingas were warned that if they
didn't keep quiet "acid would be thrown in Chandra's face and Michael would
be castrated." In the early eighties, ex-devotees were especially fearful
of David Lynn, a Vietnam veteran. (Joe Don Looney, a famously colorful
N.F.L. running back known in the sixties for his eagerness to infuriate
coaches, became briefly involved in these activities as well.) Rodarmor
also reported that Muktananda phoned Michael Dinga while he was still
living at the ashram to complain about the swami Stan Trout; he told Dinga
that "Trout's ego is getting too big," explaining that he was sending Lynn
to set him straight, and that Dinga was not to interfere. (This incident
preceded and was unrelated to Trout's open letter.) Dinga told Rodarmor
that Lynn went to South Fallsburg, got into a fight with Trout, and punched
him. (Lynn confirms that he punched him, but says that he went on his own
initiative.) According to Rodarmor, Lynn and Looney visited another
ex-devotee and told her that Muktananda had said that Chandra Dinga had
only two months to live. The harassment, Rodarmor wrote, stopped only after
the Dingas hired a lawyer and the local police paid a visit to the Oakland
ashram.

It is this element in Rodarmor's account-the intimidation of those who
leave SYDA and who appear to threaten it-that has carried over to
Gurumayi's SYDA and has continued to shadow the organization, especially in
connection with allegations about the treatment of Gurumayi's brother and
co-successor, Nityananda.

LONG before Gurumayi and Nityananda were born, their father, a Bombay
restaurateur named Sheena Shetty, was an admirer of Muktananda's. They
first met in 1944, and for a while Shetty, a deeply religious man, provided
Muktananda with living space above his restaurant. Eventually, Shetty and
his wife, Devaki, sent two of their four children to live and study with
Muktananda. Malti-the future Gurumayi-arrived in 1973, when she was
eighteen; Subhash, the third child and Malti's junior by seven years,
followed in 1978.

Subhash Shetty, who was known as a sweet-natured, somewhat shy boy,
received the name Swami Nityananda Saraswati when he took vows of monkhood
in October, 1980. The name was a significant honor, since Muktananda's own
guru had also been called Nityananda. At the end of a huge public program
in South Fallsburg on July 17, 1981, Muktananda, then seventy-three and in
failing health, announced that Nityananda, who was eighteen, would be his
successor. Nearly everyone was surprised by the news-including, it is said,
Nityananda himself. While many welcomed the announcement, others worried
that he was far too callow to take the guru's place. One person who seemed
to be unprepared for the news was Malti, whom some people considered a far
better candidate, because of her greater maturity, discipline, and
experience.

Then, sometime the following winter, Muktananda began referring to his
successors-plural-without clearly explaining himself. Finally, on February
25, 1982, several swamis interviewed him for Siddha Path, and he said that,
since there were two sexes in the world, it seemed right to make a man and
a woman his successors. On April 26th, in Ganeshpuri, Malti was renamed
Chidvilasananda, was shorn of her radiant black hair, and took vows of
monkhood. (Gurumayi, or "One who is absorbed in the guru," is an
honorific.) Two weeks later, sister and brother, both of whom, ex-devotees
say, had been in equal measure spoiled and kept on a tight leash by
Muktananda, were installed as co-successors. In a video of the ceremony;
both of them look awed and vulnerable. Gurumayi was then a couple of months
shy of twenty-seven, Nityananda just nineteen.

From the start, their styles differed. By most accounts, Nityananda was
informal, accessible, chummy with the devotees, somewhat self-mocking, and
preferred chanting, meditating, and drumming to giving talks, while
Gurumayi enjoyed ceremony and took the task of guarding SYDA's public
image-and her own-more seriously. Usually, when there were two darshan
lines, hers was longer. Nityananda, for his part, seemed content to let his
sister play a more dominant role in the running of the ashram.

Muktananda's death, five months after he installed the two as cosuccessors,
deprived SYDA of its principal drawing card. It also left something of an
organizational vacuum. In naming his successors, Muktananda apparently
never said that either was "enlightened" or gave them specific instructions
about running the organization. To make things worse, in the years that
followed, many of the senior swamis, and about half the swamis altogether,
left, because without him they felt less of a tie to the organization, or
because of what they felt to be an increasingly authoritarian atmosphere.

Some devotees who in later years became disaffected left SYDA to follow
another well-known female Indian spiritual leader, Mata Amritanandamayi,
and a number of those who visited her while they were still part of the
SYDA world were shocked to discover that their names were being written
down as they arrived at her programs. SYDA denies that it has ever assigned
the task of writing down the names of known followers or ex-devotees who
attend programs of other spiritual leaders, but an ex-swami I talked to
told me with considerable embarrassment that she herself had participated
in one such sortie. Over the years, a large number of people have been told
that they are no longer welcome at the ashram because they disagree with
its policies. Although I spoke to at least a dozen such people, SYDA says
that the only people not permitted to visit the ashram are those who have
"a history of disruption of the peace and quiet of the ashram."

The task of attracting new devotees, clearly, was taking on a greater
urgency. Though there had been tutoring of public speakers and a certain
amount of institutional streamlining under Muktananda, he had allowed his
swamis a fair amount of freedom. After his death, though, managers
gradually took over many more of the swamis' functions, and almost every
facet of the presentation of the ashram's religious and outreach programs
fell under the control of the Programming Department, which came to rely on
rehearsed talks, and even rehearsed audience responses, to smooth out
SYDA's public programs. In time, swamis were occasionally even asked to
wear little earphones when they gave talks, so that Gurumayi or George
Afif, a Lebanese-born devotee and close aide, could make suggestions to
them as they spoke.

EVEN true believers were sorely tested by a series of bizarre events that
took place in Ganeshpuri at the end of 1985, when it was suddenly announced
that Muktananda had named Nityananda as co-guru for only a three-year
period, that the time was up, and that Nityananda was therefore stepping
down both as co-successor and as a swami. To many in SYDA's ashrams back in
the United States-especially those who had had powerful spiritual
experiences through him-the announcement was baffling. Devotees were told
to turn in photographs and videos that included Nityananda and to excise
all pictures of him and information about him from their books; one former
center leader remembers being given notice that pictures of Nityananda
should be burned, because they would bring bad luck. Then, five months
later, SYDA modified its previous announcement: now the reason Nityananda
had left was that he had broken his vow of celibacy. Nityananda, once
Muktananda's honored successor, had become not just a non-guru but a
non-person.

Some people say that the seeds of conflict had been there from the
beginning. Shortly after Muktananda's funeral, Gurumayi and Nityananda gave
speeches about their new roles. In a video of the event that I watched
recently (it had been saved by a resistant devotee during the great purge),
Nityananda, his eyes filling with tears and his voice choking with emotion,
clasped his sister's hand, held it up in the air, and said, "People have
already started creating a split between us: she is better and he is bad;
he is better and she is bad. I want you to know one thing. Many of you all
know that we were both born to the same family, and we have been united
since childhood. No matter what you may do, no matter what you may think of
us, we won't split."

But three years later, in the fall of 1985, after the two gurus arrived,
separately, in Ganeshpuri for ceremonies commemorating the third
anniversary of Muktananda's death, this unity was already severely
strained. Given the tensions, in fact, Nityananda told friends that he
thought it might be a good idea for him to take time out and embark on a
tour of the holy sites of India. That trip never took place. Instead,
Nityananda ended up embarking on an odyssey that would ultimately take him
to exile at his own small ashram, a place called Shanti Mandir (Temple of
Peace), situated in the Catskills not far from the SYDA complex. Nityananda
was initially reluctant to talk to me, but eventually he agreed to meet me
at Shanti Mandir on a snowy day last winter. His ashram turned out to be a
modest brick-and-wood house on a back road. Nityananda had a large round
face, a dark beard, and a gentle, unassuming manner and was wearing the
orange robes of a swami.

He readily admitted to me that, as SYDA charged, he had broken his vows,
and that between the ages of nineteen and twenty-three, before his
departure from SYDA, he had had sexual encounters with six women; he said
he has admitted this to anyone who has asked him about it. He added that
one of his lovers had been Devayani (now his principal aide). He said that
he regretted his past lapses, but that he believes the essential gift he
was given by Muktananda is eternal and that he is and will always be a
successor. Nine years ago, however, Gurumayi made her disagreement on this
score abundantly clear.

HERE is Nityananda's version of his downfall:

At about 10:30 P.M. on October 23, 1985, while thousands of people were
chanting elsewhere in the Ganeshpuri ashram as part of the commemorative
ceremonies, there was a knock at the door of Nityananda's apartment. When
his attendant opened the door, seven or eight people pushed their way in
and began shouting at Nityananda, "You've lost all your power! You're no
longer a guru!" When he protested, his visitors told him that they were
speaking on behalf of Gurumayi, and continued berating him. Nityananda says
he tried to speak to his sister-he called her over the ashram's
intercom-but she was unresponsive, saying only that they would talk in the
morning. If that's how things were, he told her, he'd have to leave. About
an hour later, however, he was told by his driver that three men on his
sister's staff had slashed the tires of all the ashram cars.

The next morning, he met his sister in the vestibule of Muktananda's
apartment, where she had been joined by George Afif. His sister asked him,
"Well, what do you want to do?" And he replied, "Well, you don't want me
here. I'd better leave, but since all the people have come for this
ceremony I should probably stay until the end of it." When Gurumayi asked
her brother to come to her room "to talk further," he found himself
surrounded by the same group that had come to his room the night before.
"These people are here to help you get out from within you what it is you
want to say," his sister told him.

Afterward, he was led to Muktananda's study, where for the next eighteen
days his only visitors were those Gurumayi permitted him to see-mainly, the
same people who had come to his room and who now each day subjected him to
lengthy harangues. He was taken out for two visits to the cafeteria and two
public announcements, both of which he says he was forced to make: first,
that he was taking a vow of silence, and then, five days later, that he was
no longer a guru. The Mahamandaleshwar, the same ecclesiastical official
who had overseen Nityananda's taking of monastic vows as well as many of
SYDA's sacred ceremonies, was persuaded to give his blessing to ceremonies
that stripped Nityananda of his monkhood, his spiritual name (he was
officially renamed Venkateshwar Rao), and his guru status. On November
10th, Gurumayi was installed as sole successor.

Nityananda was then allowed to return to his rooms, and over the next week,
he says he signed papers relinquishing his power as co-ecclesiastical head
of the SYDA Foundation, several blank sheets, and a document ceding access
to a bank account. "Baba had put a million dollars for Gurumayi and myself
in an account in Switzerland," Nityananda told me. "The ashram had its own
accounts, and then there was a private account that Baba had his name on
and that he transferred to us. He'd told me that if ever anything was to
happen to the ashram-if people decided not to come, or any other misfortune
happened-he had left enough for the two of us to live comfortably in the
ashram."

On November 24th, a few days after Nityananda signed the papers, Gurumayi
and Afif arrived in his room and summoned Devayani (the person in the
ashram he was closest to) and eleven others, including six additional women
Gurumayi accused him of having "abused." (Nityananda says he had had
consensual sexual contact with four of the six, and none with the two
others.) When they were all assembled, Gurumayi struck him and Devayani
with a bamboo cane and then gave the cane to the six women and urged each
in him to continue striking him. The caning went on for three hours,
Nityananda says, and throughout, he claims, Gurumayi kept urging his
assailants to hit him more vigorously. Nityananda says, "At one point she
said, 'Maybe I should beat him on his penis. That's the cause of all this.'
" He also claims that after the attack had gone on for quite a long time,
Gurumayi turned to an aide and said, "He's not going to break down, is he?"
Then she turned toward the devotee Ganesh Irelan-who had once been a close
associate of Nityananda and, a decade later, would turn up at the Lufthansa
terminal at J.F.K-and asked him if he wanted to do or say anything. Ganesh
responded by punching Nityananda in the face. Before Gurumayi left,
Nityananda says, she asked him, "You're not going to report this to the
police, are you?"

WHEN abbreviated accounts of these events appeared in January and March of
1986 as cover stories in the Illustrated Weekly of India, a large
circulation news magazine, SYDA responded with a packet of statements from
SYDA's trustees, from a group of unnamed swamis, and from Gurumayi herself.
These statements, coupled with SYDA's written answers to queries I have
posed in recent months, produce a different version of the Ganeshpuri
events, which confirms a number of Nityananda's contentions and disputes
others. SYDA has been at pains throughout to prove that Nityananda is an
inveterate liar; at one point they even showed me a videotape in which he
talks about learning to lie as a schoolboy.

Gurumayi stated that, because she was concerned that if Nityananda left the
ashram "harm would befall him and others," she ordered the ashram gates
locked. When she was told that he had keys to all the gates, she decided
that "we'll have to do something more drastic; well have to slash the
tires." She acknowledged his relative isolation in Muktananda's study but
insisted that he was there of his own volition-"to contemplate what he
lacked and why he had lost what he thought he had had"-and that he could
come and go as he pleased.

Gurumayi also confirmed the caning, though she described the cane as "a
small walking stick" adding that "in my presence, he received a few slaps
with it from the women he had abused, in addition to a few slaps from me."
And while SYDA insists that Gurumayi never said anything like "He's not
going to break down, is he?," Ganesh Irelan has confirmed to me that his
frustration built to a point where he punched Nityananda; Gurumayi also
noted that another man, a swami, was so frustrated he had to be restrained.

The main point of contention is whether Nityananda submitted to all this of
his own free will or was subdued and coerced, and if so, to what degree.
SYDA maintains that he could freely come and go from Muktananda's quarters
(if not from the ashram itself). Several ex-devotees recently told me,
however, that they saw Nityananda escorted by an armed guard. In addition,
the mother of Gurumayi and Nityananda, Devaki Shetty, who was in Ganeshpuri
at the time and was allowed to prepare Nityananda's lunches, repeatedly
approached Gurumayi to express her concern over Nityananda's treatment;
Gurumayi, Mrs. Shetty says, eventually told her to "go jump in the river."
She was so upset that she left the ashram, and for nearly a decade neither
she nor her husband has been permitted to return there or to communicate in
any way with their daughter.

Nevertheless, it is clear that Nityananda himself was an active participant
in the very ceremonies that defrocked him. His public announcements in 1985
seemed plainly to express a desire to step down. And he later wrote out a
note in which he thanked Gurumayi for a "most amazing and revealing
eighteen days"-those he spent isolated in Muktananda's study.

Nityananda now says that he felt that he had lost his power to resist. His
second oldest sister, Rani, whom I spoke with recently by phone, told me
that when she and her husband were allowed to see him, on October 30th, he
seemed unable to respond to them. "He wasn't acting like a fully conscious
person." Even the Mahamandaleshwar, the cleric who gave his approval to
Nityananda's ceremonial expulsion, is now of the opinion that Nityananda
was forced to participate against his will. And although SYDA plays down
the intensity of the caning, two people who caught a glimpse of Nityananda
over the next two days recall that he had bruises on his arms. Several
weeks later, when he spent time with leaders of a SYDA center in Germany,
they saw scars on his arms, chest, and back.

Still, in an interview Nityananda gave several weeks after the event, he
denied that he had been mistreated. Shortly after the interview, Nityananda
says, he slipped away from Gurumayi's entourage in Hawaii and got on a
plane to California. As he was leaving, he wrote Gurumayi another note, in
which he thanked her for her "patience and compassion" and for taking
"great care" of him, and asked for her blessing. Nityananda now says that
he was grateful that Gurumayi and her followers no longer seemed interested
in berating or abusing him; moreover, he says, he hoped that the note would
keep them from pursuing him any further.

I have seen similar notes from other people who left SYDA in states of
considerable distress. The overriding wish of the authors was to
acknowledge gratitude for what they'd found in Siddha Yoga but also to
stave off further trouble. An ex-swami named Paul Constantino, whom SYDA
assigned to participate in a series of panels denigrating Nityananda, and
who is now a teacher in Nityananda's programs and serves as an officer of
the Shanti Mandir Corporation, told me recently that he, too, had written
an appeasing note when he left. "I left because of the growing stultifying
atmosphere of fear, of informers, of public confessions and Big
Brotherness," he said. "But when I left, in 1987, I wrote Gurumayi a letter
in which I asked for her blessing. I did it to keep her and George Atif off
my back-absolutely."

AFIF seemed to play a central role in the SYDA experience of many of the
ex-devotees I spoke with. A thin, wiry man with an Omar Sharif mustache, he
became a devotee of Muktananda in 1974, and was a regular at SYDA's ashram
in Ann Arbor, Michigan. "He was a charming man in many ways, with a strong
devotional bent, and he had some talent as an artist," one of the people
who knew him in his Ann Arbor days said. "He did a nice sketch of Baba, and
went on to do quite a bit of decorating for SYDA later on. But there was
always a mysterious quality about him, a sense of something dangerous, even
duplicitous. He was always talking about loyalty; it was a sacred word to
him." Afif hung out with University of Michigan students, although the
school's records do not show that he was ever registered there.

Almost all the ex-devotees I spoke with consider Afif a man to be feared,
and the most powerful person at the ashram after Gurumayi. Last winter, I
attended an "exit counseling" session of an ex-SYDA devotee in which Afif's
name came up repeatedly in a context of intimidation and sexual coercion.
When the counselor, Steve Hassan, asked the young woman if Afif had been
considered a kind of No. 2 in the organization, she responded, "It's more
like a point five." When I asked Kathy Nash, the SYDA spokesperson, about
Afif, she told me that for several years he had the "highly visible" job of
helping people during darshan with Gurumayi, but that his only official
role in the organization had been supervising some construction projects.
She added, "Mr. Afif's perceived position was more the result of his
personal charisma and high visibility than of actual authority invested in
him." In 1983, Afif, who was married to a woman who also lived at the
ashram, was charged with statutory rape and burglary in Santa Clara County,
California. He pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor charge of statutory
rape, and was sentenced to a suspended six-month jail term and three years'
probation. Under California law, the conviction was expunged after he
served his probation satisfactorily. The teen-age girl involved was the
daughter of prominent SYDA followers, who afterward left the organization
in disgust. A friend of the girl's family, William Carter, a well-known
photojournalist and fine-arts photographer, also left telling Gurumayi in a
letter that he had been appalled by the organization's treatment of the
family and its tendency to resort to "dis-information" in times of crisis,
and that he was cutting SYDA out of his will.

Over the years, others have raised questions about Afif's sexual behavior.
A couple who in 1982 closed the SYDA center they were running later
discovered that Afif had been having a sexual relationship with their
teen-age daughter. An Australian ex-devotee I talked with alleges that Afif
had sex with her in Ganeshpuri, in the spring of 1982, when she was
thirteen years old and theoretically under the supervision of an ashram
guardian. Her experience had been similar to that of the woman whose exit
counseling I witnessed: Afif, the Australian woman said, had got her alone
under false pretenses and intimidated her into silence.

SYDA says, regarding the California case, that it did not "condone Afif's
behavior" and notes that he moved out of the ashram during the court
proceedings. Others recall that during the months prior to his court
appearances he was kept out of sight at the homes of various SYDA devotees.
Nityananda says that he argued with his sister at the time that SYDA should
dissociate itself from Afif he believes that Afif been his enemy ever
since. Certainly Afif played a prominent role in the events surrounding
Nityananda's removal as co-guru. He was present during the caning and,
Nityananda says, warned him afterward that if anyone interfered with what
was happening there would be dire consequences. During this period, various
witnesses saw Afif carrying a gun.

In light of the drastic reaction to Nityananda's broken vows of celibacy,
Gurumayi's relationship with Afif invites scrutiny. Not long ago, I located
an ex-devotee named Andrea Skeen, a psychiatric nurse, who in 1981 and 1982
served as Gurumayi's personal secretary and confidante. Skeen alleges that
Gurumayi and Afif spent a night together just before Gurumayi took her vows
and again after she had taken them. On the first occasion, in Ganeshpuri,
Skeen says, she was asked to wait all night outside a one-room bungalow in
which the two were staying. On the second occasion, according to Skeen, she
and Gurumayi were sharing a room during an intensive at the Taj Mahal Hotel
in Bombay. Gurumayi, she says, left after Skeen fell asleep, went to Afif's
room, and didn't return until the next morning, when she confided to Skeen
where she had been. Skeen, who had previously had several conversations
with Gurumayi about her relationship with Afif, was aware of private
letters that Afif and Gurumayi had sent to each other, and says she was
eventually asked to collect all of Gurumayi's letters to Afif and destroy
them.

Whether the relationship was sexual or not only they can say, but it was
close enough so that during late 1982 and early 1983 SYDA devotees began
talking about it. Patti Kuboske, a family therapist who was a SYDA devotee
for eighteen years and a swami for eight, and worked closely with Gurumayi
and was deeply devoted to her, told me that she decided to inform Gurumayi
about what was being said. Kuboske recalls that when she did bring the
matter up Gurumayi stared at her in silence for a moment and then said,
"You should know that nothing I could do would affect what I've been
given." When I asked Kathy Nash if the relationship between Gurumayi and
Afif was personal, she replied, "If by 'personal' you mean 'romantic'or
'sexual'...the allegation is wholly false; it does not contain even a grain
of truth." Last spring, Kathy Nash told me that Afif was working on an
ashram construction project. Several months ago, however, when I expressed
interest in interviewing him, I was informed through a SYDA lawyer that he
had "no present relationship at all with the foundation"; when I asked for
his telephone number, I was told that "when we last heard from George Afif
he advised us he was going to be traveling in the Far East, and we have no
other information." Efforts to locate Afif independently have proved
unavailing.

In late March of 1986, five months after the Ganeshpuri events, a series of
Nityananda-bashing panel presentations, presided over by swamis and
inner-circle devotees, took place at a number of ashrams, including South
Fallsburg. One former longtime devotee dates his decision to leave SYDA on
the day he and his wife attended the first of the South Fallsburg panels.
After each panel, devotees went back to their rooms to discuss what they
had heard, and when he expressed doubt about what had happened-he had been
especially dismayed by a swami's lurid description of Nityananda's sex life
and by a video in which self-deprecating or foolish remarks made by
Nityananda were edited together to make him look bad-he found himself
"turned in" for having "negative feelings." He says it was fairly routine
for those who expressed uncertainty about the whole Nityananda affair to be
told solicitously, "We hear you're having problems."

"It was always put in terms of you having the problem," this man said. "
'Wrong understanding' was the phrase they always used. There couldn't be
anything wrong with what was happening. If was always, 'You have some sort
of mental misfunction.' " Another ex-devotee, an artist who lives in
Massachusetts, never returned to SYDA after attending a panel. When she got
home, she wrote Gurumayi a letter objecting to what she had seen and heard.
Gurumayi never answered her, but not long afterward the artist learned that
George Afif was telling people that she was a cocaine dealer.

EVENTUALLY, Nityananda decided that it was his vocation to be a spiritual
teacher after all. He began giving programs both in India and abroad,
financing his travels and expenses through donations from a few well-to-do
followers and through the fees that he charged for his programs. In 1989,
he renewed his vows of swamihood under the supervision of the
Mahamandaleshwar, who gave him his blessing to continue his work. He says
he also resumed a life of celibacy.

In the spring of 1988, he moved to a small house in Livingston, New Jersey,
which became his first residential center, two years later, he moved to the
house in the Catskills. The house is rented to him for a dollar a year by
one of his devotees. Its proximity to South Fallsburg may seem surprising,
but after refusing the offer of the house for that reason for several years
Nityananda became convinced that SYDA would be unlikely to bother him in
its own back yard. (In fact, he has been bothered there only once: the day
he gave his first program, about twenty picketers stood outside, carrying
signs, taking photographs, and writing down the names of attendees.)
Nowadays, Nityananda has a mailing list of two thousand friends and
devotees, many of whom regularly take part in his programs. Those who
attend the programs understand that to do so invites permanent banishment
from SYDA. SYDA believes that Nityananda has never publicly accepted the
consequences of his lapses from celibacy. Devotees who have continued to
feel strong ties to both Gurumayi and Nityananda and have tried to visit
them both have been ejected, often in a quite intimidating way, from SYDA's
ashrams.

Ever since Nityananda resumed his teaching, he has faced well-organized,
aggressive picketing-similar to what greeted him at J.F.K.-throughout the
United States, in Europe, and in India. Local press accounts and police
files registering complaints against over enthusiastic picketers mark the
trail of his travels. I have talked to dozens of witnesses who have
attested to the harassment; it has included disruptions of his meetings by
groups of people shouting obscenities, a physical assault on one of his
followers, stalking of his devotees, reports of his supposedly bad behavior
to the immigration authorities of two countries and the police of a third,
and, on one occasion outside Boston, a murder threat.

One of the nastier of these episodes took place in Ann Arbor, Michigan, on
August 3 and 4, 1989. That Sunday's Ann Arbor News described it as "a
protest against a religious leader that started Thursday night" and
"erupted into violence Friday night." While Nityananda was teaching, the
story went on to say, one of his followers was pushed down and kicked
outside the house by four demonstrators. The four of them then kicked in a
door to enter the residence, assaulted the swami and another follower, and
threw bottles of skunk scent against the walls." A day earlier, according
to witnesses, about fifty picketers had demonstrated across the street from
the house where the programs were being held. The picketers had brought
along large signs: "WE LOVE ANN ARBOR, KEEP YOUR FILTH OUT OF HERE," "FROM
MONK TO SKUNK," and "RAPE AND LYING IS YOUR GAME, NITYANANDA AIN'T YOUR
NAME." That evening, three men interrupted a program and shouted, "Hey,
fatso, hey, fake guru!" and "There's the son of a bitch!" and then left,
pouring skunk oil over the heads of two people standing by the door. The
next night, sentries were posted; even so, two of the men from the night
before, one of them wearing a wig, broke down the door. They kicked
Nityananda's driver in the chest as he tried to shield his boss; once
inside, they threw skunk oil on the guru and several others, and knocked
down a disabled man with a cane who was trying to stop them. Earlier,
devotees from SYDA's Ann Arbor ashram distributed leaflets that read
"Warning!!! The man you are about to see is a fraud. We know-he deceived us
and ruined our lives."

SYDA has steadfastly maintained that those who demonstrate against
Nityananda do so on their own initiative-out of a sense of betrayal-and at
their own expense. It is certainly true that many devotees felt and
continue to feel betrayed by Nityananda. But a former devotee who
participated in the Ann Arbor picketing told me that he did so at George
Afif's request. He was told that he should use his own car and money, and
assumed that he'd be paid back for some expenses, though he never was; he
added that when he returned to South Fallsburg afterward, Gurumayi smiled
at him and said, "Skunk oil, ah!" Another ex-devotee said that while she
was at the South Fallsburg ashram she was summoned to a meeting with a
swami, an ashram official, and some eleven other devotees, and was
pressured to participate in the Ann Arbor event.

Since July of 1986, Gurumayi and Nityananda have neither seen nor spoken to
one another. A few months ago, when I asked Nityananda why he thought his
sister had turned against him, he took a while to answer. Finally, he said,
"I just think she wanted the whole thing for herself, and she tried to come
up with a way to do it-to have the whole organization, the devotees, the
money, the power as a guru, solely, without having to share or have
anything to do with me. If somehow we could have talked to each other, we
could have worked it out-she could have had it. But I think that the fear
that she had and still has-and so do her people-is that by Baba giving me
the name he did, no matter what they say or do, somehow people will never
forget me. And they haven't, because he gave me the name of his own guru."

Nityananda claims to hope that some sort of familial reconciliation might
still be possible. After the Ann Arbor encounter, he wrote his sister an
impassioned letter, begging her to talk with him and help put an end to the
violence. The letter said, in part, "Different disciples of the same Master
have become Gurus [and have] remained friends and live in harmony. Why
can't we do the same? ... I hope that you will read this personally and
acknowledge that you have indeed received it. I pray so we can communicate
with each other soon." Nityananda signed his letter "With all my love."
Gurumayi didn't write back Instead, Nityananda received a letter from
SYDA's general counsel, Mark Cohen, a lawyer based in Austin, Texas,
protesting Nityananda's "irresponsible and characteristically
inappropriate" accounts of harassment by people associated with SYDA.

"An Indian will listen to his guru, nod his head, and go home and, even if
he's a deeply religious person, ignore fifty per cent of what the guru has
told him, because his own sense of the world tells him to do that," an
Indian man who is well versed in Yogic culture said to me recently. But
Westerners who jump heart first into a cloistered Indian subculture do not
always find it easy to distinguish what is spiritual from what is Indian-or
merely the whim of the guru.

A couple of years ago, in an attempt to help SYDA run more efficiently and
improve morale, an Australian devotee and organizational-development expert
brought in one of several popular team-work problem-solving tools used by
big corporations in the last decade. His was named Working Together, but is
mostly remembered for the part of the program called Team Data Handling.
According to several people who were around then, the program succeeded in
giving staff members more input into the day-to-day decision-making process
but did not address SYDA's more deep-seated problems, largely because, as
one ex-devotee said, about the organization in general, "so many people are
afraid of offending the guru and being dispossessed of their Shakti."

It is obvious to anyone who spends much time around SYDA's devotees that
the vast majority of them are far removed from the more hidden and
controversial aspects of the organization's history. They chant, they
meditate, they attend programs, they volunteer their time at the ashrams,
and they work hard, in accordance with Siddha Yoga teachings, to push
beyond their own particular limitations toward some experience of
transcendence. The film director Andre Gregory told me that he is deeply
grateful to Gurumayi and her swamis for showing him "a technique of prayer
that is in the body..a physical way of experiencing God." Michael Karlin, a
SYDA trustee who is a senior partner in a large, successful accounting firm
in Los Angeles and recently flew to New York to express the foundation's
concerns about this article before it went to press, was undoubtedly
speaking for thousands of his fellow-devotees when he said that "the
greatest personal experiences in my life I've had through Siddha Yoga."
Karlin, an attractive, soft-voiced man of forty, spoke with pride of the
quality and integrity of his fellow devotees and the integrity of the
organization he has been connected with for twelve years. However, when the
conversation tuned to the subject of Nityananda (whom he has never met),
his voice became charged with anger. Asked why, nearly a decade after the
break, SYDA devotees still dog Nityananda's tracks, he said, "These people
have been deeply, deeply hurt by his actions." But even if one accepts
SYDA's own version of its history as a tale of two perfect beings whose
tradition has been sullied by an all-but-demonic transgressor-one has to
wonder why so little effort appears to have been put into the task of
overcoming the rage directed toward Nityananda and moving on. In other
contexts, that is what SYDA teachers advise devotes to do all the time.

In fact, my own experience with SYDA has in a modest way confirmed some of
the things ex-devotes complained about. I have been told repeatedly of the
harm I would cause by writing negative things about a "pure path"; quiet
efforts were made to discredit me with my editors; a barrage of accusatory
letters arrived from a SYDA lawyer questioning, before he had even read the
story, my integrity as a journalist and the motives of this magazine; and,
this summer, the co-chairman and co-founder of a well-known Madison Avenue
advertising agency visited the magazine's offices to express his
displeasure and to warn that there were "many prominent, many powerful
people who are going to be hurt by this piece."

The righteous rage of defenders of the faith is, of course, a familiar
theme in the history of religion, as are the endless battles over questions
of legitimacy when charismatic spiritual leaders die. If the traditions
upon which SYDA draws are ancient, so too is the sort of animosity it has
spawned. Several months ago, I asked SYDA in a letter how it was possible
for so farseeing and enlightened a leader as Muktananda to have made such a
bad mistake (from their point of view) in his choice of successor. The
answer was "Would you consider asking a Catholic priest the question: 'If
Jesus was who he said he was, how could he have picked Judas Iscariot as a
disciple?'" SYDA insists that Gurumayi is the sole repository of
Muktananda's wisdom and power. Nityananda, excommunicated from SYDA
guruhood, nonetheless stakes his own, nonexclusive claim to successorship,
and believes that, despite his youthful transgressions, what was given to
him cannot be withdrawn or lost. Thus are schisms born.

But belief in a perfect master or an incontrovertible spiritual dogma is
always fraught with danger. Michael Karlin's assertion at our meeting that
"the Siddha Yoga teachings cannot be challenged: the truth is the truth"
goes to the heart of religious belief itself. If, over the centuries, the
longing for a world in which, as Blake put it, everything would be
perceived as infinite once the doors of perception were cleansed has
enlarged countless lives, it has frequently left behind as a casualty a
prudent acknowledgment of ordinary human fallibility.

From the New Yorker, November 14, 1994



From the Coevolution Quarterly, 1983 - The Secret Life of Swami Muktananda, by W. Rodarmor

Them are few things sadder than a good guru gone bad. The cynics among us
may object that a ;good guru; is a contradiction in terms and certainly the
spectacle of corrupt and authoritarian cults in recent years has cast a
pall over the role of spiritual teachers. Nevertheless I'm willing to
maintain that a significant amount of wisdom and compassionate works have
proceeded from various gurus and their followers, and I resist the impulse
to write off the whole bunch as charlatans and power-trippers

From all indication Swami Muktananda helped thousands of people in his day
- a fact that even disillusioned ex-devotees don't dispute. However, the
last few years of his life saw a proliferation of abuses which are only now
coming to light. William Rodarmor; a former lawyer, park ranger, wilderness
trip leader and presently a graduate student at the University of
California at Berkeley journalism school has spent months interviewing
former and current followers of Muktananda for this investigative article.
CQ independently contacted his major sources and confirmed the authenticity
of their quotes and allegations. -Jay Kinney



The Secret Life of Swami Muktananda

by William Rodarmor

Illustrated by Matthew Wuerker



;There is no deity superior to the Guru, no gain better than the Guru's
grace ... no state higher than meditation on the Guru.; -Muktananda

 ON THE American consciousness circuit, Baba Muktananda was known as the
;guru's guru,; one of the most respected meditation masters ever to come
out of India. Respected, that is, until now.

When Baba Ram Dass introduced him to the U.S. in 1970. Muktananda was still
largely unknown. Thanks to Muktananda's spiritual power, his Siddha
meditation movement quickly took root in the fertile soil of the American
growth movement. By the time he died of heart failure in October 1982,
Muktananda's followers had built him 31 ashrams, or meditation centers,
around the world. When crowds saw Muktananda step from a black limousine to
a waiting Lear jet, it was clear that the diminutive, orange-robed Indian
was an American-style success.

At various times, Jerry Brown, Werner Erhard, John Denver, Marsha Mason,
James Taylor, Carry Simon, astronaut Edgar Mitchell, and Meg Christian have
all been interested in Muktananda's movement. The media coordinator at the
large Oakland, California, ashram is former Black Panther leader Erika
Huggins.

Baba Muktananda said he was a Siddha, the representative of a centuries-old
Hindu lineage. According to his official biography, he wandered across
India as a young man, going from teacher to teacher, living the chaste,
austere life of a monk. In Ganeshpuri, near Bombay, he became the disciple
of Nityananda, a Siddha guru of awesome yogic powers. After years of
meditation, Muktananda experienced enlightenment. When Nityananda died in
1960, Muktananda said the guru passed the Siddha mantle to him on his
deathbed, though some of Nityananda's followers in India dispute the claim.
When Muktananda himself died, a sympathetic press still saw him as a
spiritual Mr. Clean, and his two successors, a brother-sister team of
swamis, continue to draw thousands of people searching for higher
consciousness.

To most of his followers, Muktananda was a great master. But to others, he
was a man unable to live up to the high principles of his own teachings.
;When we first approach a Guru,; Muktananda wrote, ;we should carefully
examine his qualities and his actions. He should have conquered desire and
anger and banished infatuation from his heart.; For many, that was a
warning that was understood too late.

Some of Muktananda's most important former followers now charge that the
guru repeatedly violated his vow of chastity, made millions of dollars from
his followers' labors: and allowed guns and violence in his ashrams. The
accusations have been denied by the swamis who took over his movement after
the master died.

In the course of preparing this story, I talked with 25 present and former
devotees; most of the interviews are on tape. Some people would only talk
to me if promised anonymity, and some are bitter at what they feel was
Muktananda's betrayal of their trust. All agree that Muktananda was a man
of unusual power. They differ over the ways he used it.

"I don't have sex for the same reason you do: because it feels so good."
-Muktananda

IN HIS teachings, Muktananda put a lot of emphasis on sex - most of it
negative. Curbing the sex drive released the kundalini energy that led to
enlightenment, he said. The swami himself claimed to be completely
celibate.

Members of the guru's inner circle, however, say Muktananda regularly had
sex with his female devotees. Michael Dinga, an Oakland contractor who was
head of construction for the ashram and a trustee of the foundation, said
the guru's sexual exploits were common knowledge in the ashram. ;It was
supposed to be Muktananda's big secret,; said Dinga, ;but since many of the
girls were in their early to middle teens, it was hard to keep it secret.;

A young woman I am calling ;Mary; said the guru seduced her at the main
American ashram at South Fallsburg, New York, in 1981. Mary was in her
early twenties at the time. Muktananda was 73.

At South Fallsburg, Muktananda used to stand behind a curtain in the
evening, watching the girls coming back to the dormitory. He asked Mary to
come to his bedroom several times, and gave her gifts of money and jewelry.
Finally, she did. When he then told her to undress, she was shocked, but
she obeyed.

;He had a special area which I assume he used for his sexual affairs. It
was similar to a gynecologist's table, but without the stirrups.; (To his
later chagrin, Michael Dinga realized he had built the table himself.) ;He
didn't have an erection,; Mary said, ;but he inserted about as much as he
could. He was standing up, and his eyes were rolled up to the ceiling. He
looked as if he was in some sort of ecstasy.; When the session was over,
Muktananda ordered the girl to come back the next day, and added, ;Don't
wear underwear.;

On the first night, Muktananda had tried to convince Mary she was being
initiated into tantric yoga - the yoga of sex. The next night, he didn't
bother. ;It was like 'Okay, you're here, take off your clothes. get on the
table and let's do it.' Just very straight, hard, cold sex.;

Mary told two people about what had happened to her. Neither was exactly
surprised.

Michael's wife Chandra was disturbed. Chandra was probably the most
important American in the movement. As head of food services, she saw
Muktananda daily, and knew what was going on. ;Whoever was in his kitchen
was in some way molested,; she said. A girl I'll call ;Nina; used to work
for Chandra. One day, the guru remarked to her in Hindi, ;Sex with Nina is
very good.; Nina's mother was later made a swami.

Chandra said she had rationalized the guru's having sex in the past, but
was dismayed to learn it had happened Lo her young friend Mary. Aware of
Muktananda's power over people who were devoted to him, she saw it as a
form of rape.

The other person Mary confided in was Malti, Muktananda's longtime
translator.

Mary said Malti wasn't surprised when she told her about being seduced by
the aged guru. ;She told me people had been coming to her with this for
years and years,; Mary said. ;She was caught in the middle.; Malti and her
brother, who have taken the names Chidvilasananda and Nityananda, are the
movement's new leaders.

Another of Muktananda's victims was a woman I'll call ;Jennifer.; She says
Muktananda raped her at the main Indian ashram at Ganeshpuri in the spring
of 1978. He ordered Jennifer to come to his bedroom late one night, and
told her to take her clothes off. ;I was in shock,; she said, ;but over the
years, I had learned you never say no to anything that he asked you to
do....;

Muktananda had intercourse with Jennifer for an hour, she said, and was
quite proud of the fact. ;He kept saying, `Sixty minutes,'; she said. ;He
claimed he was using the real Indian positions, not the westernized ones
used in America.; While he had sex, the guru felt like conversing, but
Jennifer found she couldn't say a word. ;The main thing he wanted to know
was how old I was when I first got my period. I answered something, and he
said, `That's good, you're a pure girl.'; Devastated by the event, Jennifer
made plans to leave the ashram as soon as possible, but Muktananda
continued to be interested in her. ;He used to watch me getting undressed
through the keyhole,; she said. She would open the door and see the guru
outside ;I became rather scared of him, because he kept coming to my room
at night.;

Both women said the Ganeshpuri ashram was arranged to suit Muktananda's
convenience.

;He had a secret passageway from his house to the young girls' dormitory,;
Mary said. ;Whoever he was carrying on with, he had switched to that dorm.;
The guru often visited the girls' dormitory while they were undressing. ;He
would come up anytime he wanted to; Jennifer said, ;and we would just
giggle. In the early days, I never thought of him as having sexual desires.
He was the guru...; Mary knew otherwise: she talked with at least eight
other young girls who had sex with Muktananda. ;I knew that he had girls
marching in and out of his bedroom all night long,; she said.

While his followers were renovating a Miami hotel in 1979, Muktananda slept
on the women's floor, and ordered that the youngest be put in the rooms
closest to his, and the older ones down the hall.

;You always knew who he was carrying on with,; said Chandra. ;They came
down the next day with a new gold bracelet or a new pair of earrings.;
Around the ashram, said Mary, people knew that ;anyone who had jewelry was
going to his room a lot.;

For a time, Muktananda's followers found ways to rationalize his behavior.
He wasn't really penetrating his victims, they said. Or he wasn't
ejaculating - an important distinction to some, since retaining the semen
was supposed to be a way of conserving the kundalini energy.

Ultimately, Chandra felt it didn't make any difference. ;If you're going to
be celibate, and you're going to preach celibacy, you don't put it in
halfway, and then pull it out. You live what you preach...;

After years of repressing their growing doubts about Muktananda, Michael
and Chandra finally drew the line when they learned he was molesting a
13-year-old girl. She had been entrusted to the ashram by her parents, and
was being cared for by Muktananda's laundress and chauffeur. The laundress
;told me Baba was doing things to her,; said Chandra. ;I think he was
probing around in her.; The laundress suggested it was only ;Baba's way of
loving her,; but Chandra was appalled.

Charges of sex against Muktananda continued. In 1981, one of Muktananda's
swamis, Stan Trout, wrote an open letter accusing his guru of molesting
little girls on the pretext of checking their virginity. The letter caused
a stir, but word didn't go beyond the ashram. In a ;Memo from Baba,;
Muktananda merely answered that ;devotees should know the truth by their
own experience, not by the letters that they receive... You should be happy
that I'm still alive and healthy and that they haven't tried to hang me.;

;Wretched is he who cannot observe discipline and restraint even in an
ashram.; -Muktananda

I N THE first of his eight years with Muktananda, Yale dropout Richard
Grimes said he was ;in a funny kind of grace period, where you're so
involved with the beginning of inner life that you don't really notice what
is going on.; But then he started seeing things that didn't jibe with his
idea of a meditation retreat.

;Muktananda had a ferocious temper,; said Grimes, ;and would scream or yell
at someone for no seeming reason.; He saw the guru beating people on many
occasions. ;In India, if peasants were caught stealing a coconut from his
ashram, Muktananda would often beat them,; Grimes said. The people in the
ashram thought it was a great honor to be beaten by the guru. No one asked
the peasants' opinion.

Muktananda's ubiquitous valet, Noni Patel, was a regular target of his
master's wrath. While on tour in Denver, Noni came down to the kitchen to
be treated for a strange wound in his side. ;At first, he wouldn't say how
he had gotten it,; Grimes' wife Lotte recalled. ;Later it came out that
Baba had stabbed him with a fork.;

When ex-devotees talked about strong-arm tactics against devotees, the
names of two people close to Muktananda kept coming up. One was David Lynn,
known as Sripati, an ex-Marine Vietnam vet. The other was Joe Don Looney,
an ex-football player with a reputation for troublemaking on the five NFL
teams he played for, and a criminal record. They were known as the
;enforcers;; Muktananda used them to keep people in line.

On the guru's orders, Sripati once picked a public fight with then-swami
Stan Trout at the South Fallsburg ashram. He came down from Boston, where
Muktananda was staying, and punched Trout to the ground without
provocation. Long-time devotee Abed Simli saw the attack, but figured
Sripati had just flipped out. Michael Dinga knew otherwise. Muktananda had
phoned him the morning before the beating, and told him Trout's ego was
getting too big, and that he was sending Sripati to set him straight.
Dinga, a big man, was instructed not to interfere.

In India, Dinga and a man called Peter Polivka witnessed Muktananda's valet
Noni Patel give a particularly brutal beating to a young follower: A German
boy in his twenties, whom Dinga described as ;obviously in a disturbed
state; had started flailing around during a meditation intensive. The
German was hauled outside, put under a cold shower, stripped naked, and
laid out on a concrete slab behind the ashram. Dinga said the German just
sat in a full lotus position, and tried to steel himself against what
happened next.

Noni Patel took a rubber hose, a foot-and-a-half long, and beat and
questioned the boy for thirty minutes while a large black man called
Hanuman held him. ;They were full-strength blows,; said Dinga, ;and they
raised horrible welts on the boy's body.;

There exists a long tradition in the East of masters beating their
students. Tibetan and Zen Buddhist stories am full of sharp blows that stop
the students rational minds long enough for them to become enlightened.
Couldn't that have been what Muktananda was doing?

;It could be seen that way,; said Richard Grimes. ;For years we thought
that every discrepancy was because he lived outside the laws of morality.
He could do anything he wanted. That in itself is the biggest danger of
having a perfect master lead any kind of group - there's no safeguard.;

Chandra Dinga said that as Muktananda's power grew, he ignored normal
standards of behavior. ;He felt he was above and beyond the law,; she said.
;It went from roughing people up who didn't do what he wanted, to
eventually, at the end, having firearms.;

Though the ashrams were meditation centers, a surprising number of people
in them had guns. Chandra saw Noni's gun, Muktananda's successor Subash's
gun, and the shotgun Muktananda kept in his bedroom. Others saw guns in the
hands of ;enforcer; Sripati and ashram manager Yogi Ram. The manager of the
Indian ashram showed Richard Grimes a pistol that had been smuggled into
India for his use. One devotee opened a paper bag in an ashram vehicle in
Santa Monica, and found ammunition in it.

A woman who ran the ashram bakery for many years said she knew some people
had guns, but that it never bothered her. The Santa Monica ashram, for
example, was in a very rough neighborhood, she said, and the guns were
strictly for protection.

;In an ashram, one should not fritter one's precious time in a precious
place on eating and drinking, sleeping, gossiping and talking idly.;
-Muktananda

BY ALL accounts, devotees in the ashrams worked hard under trying
conditions. In India, they were isolated from their culture. Even in the
American ashrams, close friendships were frowned on, and Muktananda
strongly discouraged devotees from visiting their families. A woman I'm
calling ;Sally; used to get up for work at 3:30 a.m. She said her day was
spent in work, chanting, meditation, and silence. ;Some days, you couldn't
talk to anyone all day long. I would get very lonely.; Recorded chants were
often played over loudspeakers. Even a woman who is still close to the
movement admitted that ;the long hours were a drag.;

Though he was Muktananda's right-hand man for construction, Michael Dinga
worked ;under incredible schedules with ridiculous budgets,; putting in the
same hours as his crew. In the six-and-a-half years he was with the ashram,
he said he had a total of two weeks off.

As time went on, Dinga came to be bothered by what he saw as exploitation:
;I saw the way people were manipulated, how they would work in all
sincerity and all devotion [with] no idea that they were being laughed at
and taken advantage of.;

;Even a penny coming as a gift should be regarded as belonging to God and
religion.; -Muktananda

MUKTANANDA'S movement was both a spiritual and a financial success. Once
Siddha meditation caught on, said Chandra Dinga, ;money poured into the
ashram.; Particularly lucrative were the two-day ;meditation intensives;
given by Muktananda, and now by his successors. Today, an intensive led by
the two new gurus costs $200. (Money orders or cashier's checks only,
please. No credit cards or personal checks.) An intensive given in Oakland
in May 1983 drew 1200 participants, and people had to be turned away. At
$200 a head, Chidvilasananda and Nityananda's labors earned the ashram
nearly a quarter of a million dollars in a single weekend.

There was always a lot of secrecy around ashram affairs, Lotte Grimes
remarked. During Muktananda's lifetime, that secrecy applied to money
matters with a vengeance.

The number of people who came to intensives, for example, was a secret even
from the devotees. Simple multiplication would tell anyone how much money
was coming in. And when Richard Grimes set up a restaurant at the Oakland
ashram, he said Muktananda ;had a fit; when he found out that Grimes had
been keeping his own records of the take.

Food services head Chandra Dinga said the restaurants in the various
ashrams were always big money-makers, where devotees worked long hours for
free. On tour during the summer, she said, they would feed over a thousand
people, and bring in three thousand dollars in cash a day. Sally said that
a breakfast that sold for two dollars actually cost the ashram about three
cents.

Donations further fattened the coffers. if somebody important was coming to
the ashram, Chandra's job was to try and get them to give a feast and to
make a large donation. $1500 to $3000 was considered appropriate ;There was
just a constant flow of money into his pockets,; said Chandra, ;it let him
get whatever he wanted to get, and let him buy people.;

Muktananda himself was said to have been very attached to money. ;For
years, he catered only to those who were wealthy,; said Richard Grimes. ;He
spent all the time outside of his public performances seeing privately
anyone who had a lot of money.;

A parade of Mercedes-Benzes used to drive up to the Ganeshpuri ashram with
rich visitors, said Grimes. In Oakland, Lotte Grimes saw Malti order a list
drawn up of everybody in the ashram who had money, to arrange private
interviews with Muktananda, by his orders.

Devotees, on the other hand, had to get by on small stipends, if they got
anything. Chandra Dinga, despite her status as head of food services, never
got more than $100 a month. Devotees with less prestige were completely
dependent on the guru's generosity. Sally once cried for two days when she
broke her glasses, knowing she would have to beg Muktananda for another
pair.

How much money did Muktananda amass from his efforts? Even the officers of
the foundation that ostensibly ran Muktananda's affairs never knew for
sure.

Michael Dinga was a foundation trustee, and used to cosign for deposits to
the ashram's Swiss bank accounts, but the amounts on the papers were always
left blank. In 1977, however, he got a hint. Ron Friedland, the president
of the foundation, told Dinga that Muktananda had 1.3 million dollars in
Switzerland. Three years later, Muktananda told Chandra it was more like
five million. ;And then he laughed, and said, `There's more than that.';

A woman called Amma, who was Muktananda's companion for more than twenty
years, told the Dingas that all the accounts were in the names of
Muktananda's eventual successors, Chidvilasananda and Nityananda.

Michael and Chandra Dinga finally quit the ashram in December 1980. They
had served Muktananda for a combined total of sixteen-and-a-half years, and
had risen to positions of real importance. Both knew exactly how the ashram
operated.

Together, they went to Muktananda to tell him why they wanted to leave. The
guru wasn't pleased. To get the Dingas to stay, Muktananda called on
everything he thought would stir them. He offered them a car, a house, and
money. When that failed, he started to weep. ;You're my blood, my family,;
he said. Then Muktananda abruptly changed tack. ;You've come on an
inauspicious day,; he said. ;I can't give you my blessing.; Next morning,
he called Chandra on the public intercom and said she could leave
immediately.

After they left, the Dingas say they were denounced by the guru, and their
lives threatened.

;Muktananda claimed he had thrown us out because Chandra was a whore; said
Dinga, ;that she was having sex with the young boys who worked in the
restaurant. Later he said I had a harem. In other words, he was accusing us
of all the things he was doing himself.; Muktananda also claimed that none
of the buildings Michael had built were any good. When one of Michael's
crew stood up for him, he was threatened physically.

Leaving all their friends behind in the ashram, the Dingas moved to the San
Francisco area, but Muktananda's enmity followed them. Their doorbell and
telephone started ringing at odd hours, and Michael saw the "enforcers"
running away from their door one night. A cruel hoax was played on Chandra.
Someone followed her when she took her cat to the vet, then phoned the
vet's office with a message that her husband had been in a bad accident.
Chandra waited frantically at Berkeley's Alta Bates Hospital for three
quarters of an hour, only to learn that Michael was at work, unhurt.

Death threats started to reach the Dingas toward the end of April 1981, six
months after they had left the ashram. On May 7, Sripati and Joe Don Looney
visited Lotte Grimes at her job in Emeryville with a frightening piece of
information: ;Tell Chandra this is a message from Baba: Chandra only has
two months to live.; Another ex-follower said he got a similar message: If
the Dingas didn't keep quiet, acid would be thrown in Chandra's face;
Michael would be castrated.

The Grimeses and the Dingas reported the threats to the police. The Dingas
hired a lawyer.

The threats stopped soon after Berkeley police officer Clarick Brown called
on the Oakland ashram, but Chandra was badly frightened. Some ex-followers
still are.

Michael and Chandra's departure sparked a small exodus from the ashram.
Some of the ex-followers began to meet and compare notes on their
experiences in the ashram. ;We were amazed and rejuvenated,; said Richard
Grimes. ;We got more energy from learning he was a con man than we ever did
thinking he was a real person.;

Just the same, the devotees who left the ashram are still dealing with the
damage done to their lives. Michael and Chandra's marriage broke up, as did
Sally's. Michael is only now coming out of a period of depression and
emptiness. Richard and Lotte Grimes are bitter at having wasted years of
their lives in the ashram. Stan Trout still considers Muktananda a great
yogi, but a tragically flawed man.

Chandra Dinga has taken years to come to terms with her experience with
Muktananda; ;Your whole frame of reference becomes askew,; she said. ;What
you would normally think to be right or wrong no longer has any place. The
underlying premise is that everything the guru does is for your own good.
The guru does no wrong. When I finally realized that everything he did was
not for our own good, I had to leave.;

Muktananda's two successors were at the Oakland ashram in May and I asked
Swami Chidvilasananda about the accusations against her guru.

To her knowledge, did Muktananda have sex with women in the ashram? ;Not as
far as I saw,; she said carefully. What about the charge that Muktananda
had sex with young girls? ;Those girls never came to us,; Chidvilasananda
said. ;And we never saw it, we only heard it when Chandra talked to
everybody else.;

Chidvilasananda also denied that there was a bank account in Switzerland.
When asked about the ashram's finances, she said that all income was put
back into facilities. ;We are a break-even proposition,; the new leader
said.

As for the alleged beatings, she said that Americans had their own ways of
doing things. She said, ;You can't blame the guru, because the guru doesn't
teach that.;

Why then, I asked, do the other ex-devotees I talked with support the
Dingas in their charges?

Chidvilasananda replied, ;I'm very glad they gave you a very nice story to
cover themselves up and I want to tell you I don't want to get into this
story because I know their story, too, and I do not want to say anything
about it.; When I said, ;You have a chance to tell us whether or not you
think these are accurate charges, falsehoods, or delusions,; Malti's answer
was: ;I'm not going to probe into people's minds and try to find out what
the truth is.;

Two swamis and a number of present followers also said the charges were not
true. Others say they simply don't believe them.

On the subject of money, foundation chief Ed Oliver conceded in an October
1, l983, interview with the Los Angeles Times that there is a Swiss account
with 1.5 million dollars in it. And when I repeated Swami Chidvilasananda's
denials about women complaining to her, Mary, the woman who says the guru
seduced her in South Fallsburg, said, ;Well, that's an out-and-out lie.;

;The sins committed at any other place are destroyed at a holy centre, but
those committed at a holy centre stick tenaciously - it is difficult to
wash them away.; -Muktananda

THIS IS a story of serious accusations made against a spiritual leader who
is still prayed to and revered by thousands. Even his detractors say
Muktananda gave them a great deal in the beginning. ;He put out a force
field around him,; said Michael Dinga. ;You could palpably feel the force
coming off him. It gave me the feeling I had latched onto something that
would answer my questions.; Former devotees say Muktananda's eyes had a
kind of light; when they first met the guru, he radiated love and
benevolence. He also had a way of making his devotees feel special.

;I think he liked me so much because I wasn't taken by all the visions and
the sounds,; said Chandra, ;that I understood that having an experience of
God was something much more substantial and more ordinary.; Chandra still
feels that spirituality is the most important thing in her life. She says
the gradual unfolding of the dark side of her guru's personality chipped
away at her love and respect. ;When you have a loved one you never dream
that he might hurt you. At the end, I was devastated.; Yet despite the
unsavory conclusion to her ten years with the swami, Chandra still notes,
;if I had it to do over again, I still wouldn't trade the experience for
anything in the world.;

In a way, the sex, the violence, and the corruption aren't the real point.
Muktananda's personal shortcomings were bad enough, explained Michael
Dinga, but ;the worst of it was that he wasn't who he said he was.;

A person can make spiritual progress under a corrupt master, just as
placebos can actually make you feel better. But how far can a person really
grow spiritually under a master who doesn't himself live the truth? There
was a tremendous split between what Muktananda preached and what he did,
and his hypocrisy only made it worse. His successors are now in a dilemma:
If they admit their guru's sins, Chidvilasananda and Nityananda lose their
god-figure. and weaken their claim to a lineage of perfect masters. But if
they don't, people who come to them looking for truth are courting
disappointment.



Stan Trout, formerly Swami Abhayananda, served Muktananda for ten years as
a teacher and ashram director. He left in 1981. ;My summary withdrawal from
Muktananda's organization was also a withdrawal from what I had considered
my fraternal family, my friends, and able all, my life's work,; he wrote
us. He sent this open letter after reading a draft of ;The Secret Life of
Swami Muktananda,; in which he is quoted. - Art Kleiner



Letter From a Former Swami

by Stan Trout

I'd like to add this letter, if possible, as an appendix to the article on
Muktananda by William Rodarmor. It is a statement of my thoughts and
opinions of Muktananda after two years of deep deliberation following my
discovery of his `secret life'.

When I left Muktananda's service, I did so because I had just learned of
the threatening action he had taken against some of his long-time devotees
who had recently left his service. He had sent two of his body-guards to
deliver threats to two young married women who had been speaking to other
women who had been speaking to others of Muktananda's sexual liaisons with
a number of young girls in his ashram. It was immediately clear to me that
I could not represent a guru who was not only taking sexual advantage of
his female devotees but was threatening with bodily harm those who revealed
the truth about him. However, after I had left Muktananda and had made the
reasons for my departure known to others still in his service, another
issue came to light for me, teaching me something not only about
Muktananda's, but about the nature of the organization and all other such
organizations in which the leader is regarded as infallible by his
followers, and is therefore obeyed implicitly.

When Chandra and Michael Dinga and later myself realized the truth about
Muktananda and his secret sex life, there was absolutely no means available
to present the evidence for a fair hearing or judgment. There was no
recourse but to leave, for the guru was the sole appeal, and he was as
accustomed to lying as he was to breathing. Yet his word was regarded by
followers as so absolutely final that when each of us left and were branded
;demons; by him, not a single soul among those who had been our brother and
sister devotees for ten years questioned or objected, but unamimouly
rejected us outright as the demented infidels he said we were. One has only
to observe the way each of us who discovered the guru's secret life were
treated by our former comrades to understand the power for evil inherent in
any relationship based on the infallibility of the leader and the
unquestioned obedience of the subjects...

It is clear to me that not only had the girls with whom Muktananda
practiced his sexual diversions committed acts to which they had given no
moral or rational consent, but so had the men who were ordered to threaten
them with violence, and so had I myself when I had followed Muktananda's
orders to express to others opinions which I did not sincerely hold. It is
a sad but perennial phenomenon: Out of a love for truth and for those who
teach it and appear to embody it, we unwittingly set ourselves up for
exploitation and betrayal. Our mistake is to deify another being and
attribute perfection to him. From that point on everything is admissible.

I think the lesson to be learned is that we simply cannot afford to
relinquish our individual sovereignty - whether it be in a socio-political
setting or in a religious congregation. Those who willingly put aside their
own autonomy, their own moral judgment, to obey even a Christ, a Buddha, or
a Krishna, do so at risk of losing a great deal more than they can hope to
gain.

About Muktananda himself I have thought a great deal. There is no doubt in
my mind that he was an extraordinarily enlightened, learned, and articulate
man who possessed a singular power, a dynamic personal radiance and
charisma that drew people to him and inspired them to lay their lives at
his feet. Surely such a power is divine; yet there is no way to justify the
way in which he used this power. If God himself were to behave in this way,
we would have to find him guilty of flagrant disregard for the law of love.

Some may say, `He did no worse than any of us have done, or would do if we
could.' And I would answer, `No; he did worse than any of use have done or
would have done in his place. For, though he was only human like the rest
of us, he staged a deliberate campaign of deceit to convince gentle souls
that he had transcended the limitations of mankind, that through realizing
the eternal Self, he had attained holy ;perfection.; He planted and
nourished false, impossible dreams in the hears of innocent, faithful souls
and sacrificed them to his sport. With malicious glee, he cunningly stole
from hundreds of trusting souls their hearts and wills, their self-trust,
their very sanity, their very lives. No ordinary, good person could do
this, no matter how he tried; his heart and conscience would not allow it.

Like all of us, Muktananda was only human. And, like all men who worship
power, he was inevitably corrupted and destroyed by it. His power could not
save him from the weakness of the flesh, nor from the wickedness and
depravity that servitude to it brings. He ended as a feeble-minded sadistic
tyrant, luring devout little girls to his bed every night with promises of
grace and self-realization.

Muktananda's claim of ;perfection; (Siddha-hood) was based on the notion
that a person who has become enlightened has thereby also become ;perfect;
and absolutely free of human weakness. This is nonsense; it is a myth
perpetrated by dishonest men who wish to receive the reverence and
adoration due God alone. There is no absolute assurance that enlightenment
necessitates the moral virtue of a person. There is no guarantee against
the weakness of anger, lust, and greed in the human soul. The enlightened
are on an equal footing with the ignorant in the struggle against their own
evil - the only difference being that the enlightened person knows the
truth, and has no excuse for betraying it.

Throughout history there have been many enlightened souls who have been
thought great, who, in the pride of their perfection and freedom, have
imagined themselves to be beyond the constraints of God's laws, and who
have thus fallen from love and lost the glory the once had. Those glorious
Babas and Bhagwans, thinking to build their kingodm here on earth upon the
ruins of the young souls devoted to them, often succeed for a time in
fooling many and in gathering a large and festive following, but their
deeds also follow them and proclaim their truth long after the paeans of
praise have been sung and wafted away on the air. ;God is not mocked;;
there is no freedom, no liberation, from His law of love, nor from His
inescapable justice. It is indeed often those very persons who have thought
themselves most perfect, most free and ungoverned, who have fallen most
grievously; and their piteous fall is an occasion for great sadness, and
should serve as a clear reminder of caution to us all.



From "The CoEvolution Quarterly" Winter 1983






Letter from Center's Office, dated 23 April 1986

Editor's Note: This is a copy of a letter sent by the SYDA Foundation
Center's Office, dated April 23, 1986. It was sent to all Center Leaders
and Siddha Yoga Teachers. We reproduce it here unedited.

=OM GURU OM=



April 23, 1986

Dear Center Leader,

People have probably come to you with questions about the recent events in
Siddha Yoga. We thought it would be useful for you to have the basic
information you need to answer those questions.

Enclosed you will find a four-page outline which covers the main events
surrounding Venkateshwar's retirement and his recent claims to the throne,
as well as a few of the most frequently asked questions.
.
It is just for the Siddha Yoga teachers and Center Leaders so that you are
prepared to deal with people's questions.

We hope that you have also attended one of the panels and read Gurumayi's
letter carefully, because the information enclosed is not complete. If you
have any questions or difficulties with this matter please do not hesitate
to call the Centers Office.

Sincerely yours,

The Centers Office

=OM GURU OM=



Information for Centers concerning Venkateshwar

In November, 1985, the former Swami Nityananda announced that he was
retiring from his position as Guru of the Siddha lineage. He met with the
Trustees, and, over a period of several hours, convinced them that Baba had
told him that he would sit on the chair for only three years. The three
years were up. On November 10, 1985, he made public this information.
During this time, also, after a two-hour argument, he persuaded the
Mahamandaleshwar that he should be relieved of his vows of sannyasa. He
took the name Venkateshwar Rao and declared himself a devotee of Gurumayi's
and appeared to be sincere for a time.

In December, 1985, Venkateshwar gave a public talk in which he denied his
brother-in-law's charges that he had been abducted and coerced into
retiring. In January, 1986, when he left Hawaii he wrote Gurumayi a sweet
letter expressing gratitude for the compassion she had shown him.

Venkateshwar's retirement was obviously voluntary, and yet he has recently
charged in a newspaper interview that he was coerced (despite earlier
protests that he was not). He also announced that he will try to resume the
position of Siddha Guru.

Many people ask why Gurumayi did not reveal this information to us before.
Gurumayi wanted Venkateshwar Rao to be able to leave the Guru's seat with
dignity, out of respect for the seat and in order to avoid disturbing the
minds and hearts of devotees unnecessarily. However, his recent actions
make it necessary to disclose the facts which led to his voluntary
retirement. There are well documented facts about Venkateshwar's life-style
which inevitably resulted in his retirement as a Siddha Guru.

As Gurumayi has said, a Guru, above all people, must observe the laws of
dharma and be completely surrendered to the divine will for which he or she
has been chosen as a vehicle. Venkateshwar knew this and knew that his past
actions had destroyed whatever Baba had given him. This was the primary
reason for which he decided he had to leave the Guru's seat.

You should be very clear that the following facts are not derived from
hearsay or gossip but are supported by sworn affadavits, documents in
Venkateshwar's own handwriting, and video-tapes of his own talks.



1. Venkateshwar's private life-style was not that of someone who was
dedicating his life to others' upliftment. He pursued sense pleasures, rode
around in cars for hours on end, played with all kinds of expensive toys
late into the night, and even, occasionally, visited casinos and discos. He
did not apply himself to carrying out Baba's work.

2. Venkateshwar had an attitude of disobedience to Baba in many areas. Baba
told him not to play the drums: he played them frequently. Baba told him
not to drive cars: he drove them constantly and had serious accidents. Baba
told him to remain celibate: he repeatedly broke that command. Baba told
him to study the scriptures: he did not carry out this command.

3. Venkateshwar himself expressed serious doubts about his own Guruhood to
Gurumayi on at least three occasions. He repeatedly stated, publicly and
privately, that he did not want to be a Guru.

4. Venkateshwar proved to be indifferent to his own devotees, and betrayed
a number of them. For example, one swami who served Venkateshwar closely
spoke with him about a relationship he was involved in. Venkateshwar later
denied he had been told the details of this relationship. When confronted
with this matter, Venkateshwar wanted to get rid of this swami and kick him
out of the Ashram. Due to Gurumayi's compassion, this swami was allowed to
stay and do sadhana in the Ashram as a devotee.

5. Venkateshwar did not fulfill his dharma as a Guru or a swami in the
relationships he had with women. He broke his vows of celibacy and at the
same time misled a number of women devotees including married women and two
women swamis. Also, he made a girl pregnant and asked her to have an
abortion.

6. Venkateshwar was arranging to have a book written about his life. The
author was to talk about Venkateshwar as an incarnation of Bhagawan
Nityananda. Venkateshwar admitted, when asked about the book, that he
didn't really believe this, but was using it to increase his fame.

7. When Gurumayi began to find out about some of this information she sent
a group of trustworthy devotees and swamis to ask Venkateshwar if these
things were true. He denied the information or evaded the questions. But
afterwards, he phoned Gurumayi and told her he couldn't continue as Guru.
He later did admit to these actions, and to additional ones of a similar
nature.



Frequently-asked Questions

Q. Why did Baba choose such an unqualified person to be his successor? Did
he not foresee what would happen?

A. It is very difficult to answer that question; it was not Baba's way to
explain everything he did. However, there were many instances in which
Baba's actions were understood in the course of time, and recent events
will certainly reveal their significance in time. Baba did give
Venkateshwar an opportunity to attain a high state, but Venkateshwar
voluntarily chose not to pursue sadhana and destroyed Baba's gift through
his own actions. A disciple has free will to follow the Guru's command or
reject it. In this case, Venkateshwar chose to reject Baba's command.
Baba also wanted people to use their discrimination. The day after he named
Venkateshwar his successor in South Fallsburg, he said: "I've just admitted
him into my university, it's up to him to pass or fail -- and you should
have some discrimination."
There are many instances in the lives of great beings where they chose to
follow the course of destiny even though they foresaw future events. A
prime example of such a situation is found in the life of Jesus Christ. Did
Jesus Christ not know the character of Judas and that Judas would betray
him? Yet he did nothing to prevent the betrayal and the crucifixion.

Q. Is it true that Baba told Venkateshwar he would be a Guru for only three
years?

A. Venkateshwar Rao said in public and to Gurumayi that Baba had privately
told him that he would sit on the Guru's chair for a period of three years
only. Gurumayi herself never mentioned the three years: she said that Baba
told her Venkateshwar would be on the seat "for a time."

Q. Was Venkateshwar a Siddha? And how can a Siddha fall from his state?

A. Venkateshwar declared publicly that he was not a Siddha, not a Guru, nor
did he have the state of Self-realization. It had become obvious that he
failed to attain the state of Siddhahood and because he was not in that
state, he became a victim of his own actions. Baba never said Venkateshwar
was a Siddha. He gave him the power of the lineage and it was up to
Venkateshwar to use it in a dharmic way, to use it for his own and for
others' upliftment. However, he chose to abuse it.

Q. I thought the disciple had to be perfect in order to become the Guru.
What are the criteria?

A. It is true that the disciple has to be perfect to become the Guru and to
maintain this perfection the disciple has to do sadhana. Only through
sadhana can the disciple uphold this purity and this perfection. Until his
last days, Baba did sadhana every day and Gurumayi also does sadhana every
day. This is the path that is set for us by our Gurus and we should strive
to follow it in our own sadhana.

Q. Didn't Gurumayi know about Venkateshwar's behavior? Why weren't we told
before, especially at the time he retired?

A. At the time Venkateshwar retired, Gurumayi wanted him to step down from
the Guru's chair with dignity and she also wanted to spare the devotees the
pain and shock of having to know about Venkateshwar's unseemly behavior.
Gurumayi has herself said that she had heard a few stories about
Venkateshwar's behavior sporadically throughout the three years he was on
Baba's chair. Out of love and respect for Baba, and because he had
commanded Venkateshwar to sit on the Guru's chair, Gurumayi put a veil over
her eyes and refused to believe the veracity of these rumors. She did,
however, warn Venkateshwar many times to take heed of his actions and
words, and to get back to the discipline Baba had taught him. When
Venkateshwar had doubts about his Guruhood, and expressed the desire to
resign, Gurumayi encouraged him not to doubt Baba's command because Baba's
actions were impeccable. But Venkateshwar repeatedly ignored Gurumayi's
advice.
When Gurumayi returned to Ganeshpuri Siddha Peeth in October, 1985, she
gave a number of public talks in which she clearly warned people to open up
their eyes and try to understand who the true Guru is, because she already
foresaw that Venkateshwar's actions weren't leading to a good end. It was
only later on during the celebrations in Ganeshpuri that Venkateshwar, as
well as other people involved, finally admitted to all these actions.

Q. These events have brought about distrust for me. How do I trust
Gurumayi? What is she and what isn't she?

A. Gurumayi has been faithful to Baba's command, and has pursued her
sadhana thoroughly; and, as a result, has become the fit vehicle for Baba's
shakti. This is why people continue to experience the truth of Siddha Yoga
through her. However, some devotees who practice their sadhana and are
loyal to their path have expressed doubts as a result of this event for the
simple reason that they want Siddha Yoga to be pure. Siddha Yoga is pure,
and this event has not created a dent in the teachings of Siddha Yoga. It
is the greatness of our path that the power of the shakti will not allow an
impure vehicle on the Guru's chair. Only someone who has merged with the
Guru Principle and is totally pure can be the Guru, remain the Guru, and be
a perfect channel for the power of the lineage.

Q. What about the accusations which have been made about Gurumayi and a few
of the people close to her?

A. Many people in the Siddha Yoga community have received letters from
Venkateshwar. The first letter was addressed to "Dear Gurubandhu" and
signed "a member of Baba's spiritual family." This letter contains
accusations concerning people who serve Gurumayi directly. The essence of
these allegations is that "a gang of Americans headed by a criminal-minded
person has been conspiring to wield power and authority over Baba's
organization (and its spiritual head) so as to use it for their own ends."
These allegations are false. But they may create an atmosphere of doubt and
fear in some people. Anyone who has concerns about Gurumayi's welfare
should spend time with her and see for themselves that the only people
close to her are those who work hard to carry out their seva. In any
organization the size of ours, it is inevitable that some people will be
entrusted with certain responsibilities. However, their authority always
derives directly from the Guru. Baba used to say that "there have always
been people throughout history who have attacked those who are close to
great beings." To consider that anyone at all wields power over Gurumayi is
to project a limited and dependent world view on to the Guru.
The second letter you have received is addressed to all SYDA devotees as a
reply to Gurumayi's letter sent to you a few weeks ago. The essence of the
allegations in this letter is that Gurumayi is breaking Baba's command by
establishing herself as the sole successor. These allegations are also
false. Baba did establish two successors but he always reminded us to use
our discrimination. It was out of his own free will that Venkateshwar chose
not to live up to the dharma of Guru and subsequently chose to retire. He
was not coerced nor was his life ever threatened.

There's a good chance that you will receive other slanderous letters and
you should realize that they are merely empty threats and lies. The
important thing is to remain focused on your sadhana and not to let these
things affect your practices and your experience of God's grace.



                Leaving Siddha Yoga

In 1979 I entered Siddha Yoga. It is now 1996 and after many years of
confusion I have finally come to terms with my relationship with this path.
I am leaving.

I have been torn over the years. I have always believed in the possibility
of a Guru, an enlightened person who's job is to help me know God. I
believe Jesus and Buddha were such individuals. I believe that many of the
teachings of Siddha Yoga (the Bhagavad Gita, Kashmir Shavism, Vedanta and
the Yoga Sutras) are true in and of themselves. Please note that these
teachings do not belong to Siddha Yoga. They are universal teachings that
many other spiritual teachers, past and present, use. I have had wonderful
experiences meditating and chanting at the ashram. And I do believe that
whenever you get 50 or 500 or 1000 people together to do spiritual
practices, it is quite easy to generate spiritual energy. I do believe
Swami Muktananda attained some degree of spiritual ;powers; and had the
ability to generate ;energy.; On the other hand, there have been several
events that have continued to challenge my devotion to him and to Swami
Chidvilasananda. I have finally accepted these doubts as being true and my
decision to leave comes easily.

I do not intend to throw the ;baby out with the bath water;. I still want
to know God and it is clear that Siddha Yoga, (Swami Muktananda and Swami
Chidvilasananda) is not the way for me. I respect the reason I came in the
first place. I respect the reason that most of us came to Siddha Yoga, to
know God. I believe that Bhagavan Nityananda of Ganeshpuri was a true Guru,
enlightened. I do not believe he is part of Siddha Yoga, rather Siddha Yoga
made him part of themselves. There are, as it turns out, several others who
claimed the mantel as did Baba. I understand there are other ashrams around
Ganeshpuri that have continued to pass on Nityananda's teachings. There are
books you can buy that have actual quotes of Nityananda. They are sublime.
Why did Siddha Yoga not publish them?

For the past 4 years I have been seeing another Guru and have, after much
consideration, decided to join that path. I am grateful that I have the
opportunity to do so. It is with this change in paths that I have been
freed to look back at the years of doubts and attempt to come to some sort
of peace with them. It has also been the dramatic contrast that I have
witnessed between Siddha Yoga and this new path that has made it so easy to
leave.

When I went to my new Guru the mantra given to me by Baba was blessed and
;revitalized;. I was amazed at what happened. From that moment on, my
meditations have been so much easier and so much deeper. I have gotten more
from that mantra in the past few months then I have in the past 17 years.

After meeting Swami Muktananda in 1979. I later lived in one of his many
ashrams for about 2 years. During that time many rumors circulated about
his sexual relationships with women and teens. Several of the swamis left
at that time. I was so immersed in the ashram life that it wasn't until
much later that I even learned about these allegations. When I did hear of
them, I choose to believe that they were simply not true, that the person
making the allegation was either mentally ill or that their spiritual
practices became too hard and that they needed to leave in an angry way.
Despite choosing to ignore them, they continued to nag at me over the
years.

In 1982 Swami Muktananda died. I went to Ganeshpuri and saw Swami
Chidvilasananda and Swami Nityananda take the throne as he had designed. I
had wonderful experiences with them both. The chanting and meditation there
was ecstatic. From the beginning Siddha Yoga and they (Swami
Chidvilasananda and Swami Nityananda) by proxy, stated that they were
perfected beings, Siddhas; that all they did and said was perfect.

After Baba died, I spoke with one Swami that I had respected. He assured me
that he had investigated the rumors himself and did not find any truth to
them. I wonder now how he has continued to live with himself. Over the
years I discussed them with my friends and got several answers. One friend
recently told me that he knows of a women who attends the local center who
had sex with Baba. Somehow, this made it all right, since she was still in
Siddha Yoga. The implication was that Baba was using sex as a form of
tantric initiation (this has continued to reappear over time and apparently
was used as a explanation by several Swami's to a group of Boston followers
who were in the process of leaving after the Liz Harris article came out).

In 1985 Swami Nityananda stepped down. We were first told that he was going
into retirement as Swami Muktananda had only planned for him to be there
for limited time. That was a surprise but the Guru knew better than we did
so we accepted that. And then, as Swami Nityananda apparently wanted to
stay, the ;truth; came out. Swami Nityananda had been having sex, a
violation of his vows.

This was total deception. Siddha Yoga tried to pass off his leaving as part
of Swami Muktananda's divine plan of a short term Guru to protect their
image. Although they would have said it was to protect us, to keep us from
having to deal with the confusion it would have raised about an otherwise
wonderful path. (I believe many who are still in Siddha Yoga and know the
truth still hold this line of thought. We are not told the truth to protect
us). Swami Chidvilasananda obviously agreed to this plan. It wasn't until
Swami Nityananda tried to reclaim his position that Swami Chidvilasananda
and Siddha Yoga then told us the 2nd ;truth;, that he had ;fallen;.

I have found the written materials that were given out by Siddha Yoga when
this happened. Clearly they are a matter of the ;public; record. Except
that for the average new person in Siddha Yoga (anyone who came in after
Swami Nityananda left) you would not see this or know that it was in
existence. I know people who were in Siddha Yoga for years before they even
knew that there was a brother.

These include a cover letter from the Secretary of Siddha Yoga Foundation
dated March 23, 1986; an undated statement from the trustees, an undated
statement from the swamis, an article from Illustrated Weekly of India and
a 16 page undated ;message; from Swami Chidvilasananda. I do remember
seeing this information at the time it was released. I do remember feeling
confused. Let's assume that much of what Swami Chidvilasananda states in
her message is true. She basically states that Swami Nityananda came to her
with doubts about his ability to be the Guru. She then covered that up and
let him continue on as the Guru, having us believe that he was enlightened.
What kind of person would do that? I believe it was done to protect their
image. After all how would it look if the ;guru; quit? But things became
out of control and the rest is ;history;.

Here is a section from ;A message from Gurumayi to all the devotees of
Siddha Yoga;

;The crux of the matter is that it was obviously impossible for him to
fulfill the role of a Sadguru in spite of the fact that he was in that
position. In 1983 when he was in Paris and I was in Australia, he told me
on the phone, ;I resign from Guruhood. I don't want to be a Guru.;

I replied, ;Watch what you say. The Shakti is ever alive. I don't want to
hear that again because Baba's action is impeccable.;

He moaned and groaned and that was that for the time being.

Many, many times the fact arose that he was struggling with being a Guru.
He talked about taking a year off and living in solitude in Hawaii (not a
bad place) or just keeping to himself.

After his Australia tour in 1984, he could no longer teach Siddha Yoga in
its purity, so he decided to stay in Ganeshpuri and work on himself. Of
course, what he did was to work on having a huge house built for himself.
Even during that time, when people were breaking their backs building his
house, he went to Jaipur for five days and to Germany for two weeks to
relax.

At this time I was in Los Angeles in April 1985. When he called me on the
phone, I asked him, ;How hard have you worked so that you fell the need to
relax for two weeks?; When asked, ;What do you do all day long?; he
replied, ;I drive around.; (Not a bad life for this Guru!);

When I first read this I agreed that Swami Nityananda was in a sorry state
and shouldn't be a Guru. When I read it now I can't help but wonder about
the state of Swami Chidvilasananda for covering up for him with the
thousands of devotees that worshipped the ground he walked on. But Baba had
put him there and after all everything Baba did was perfect, wasn't it?

After the shock and disbelief passed, it was apparent Swami Nityananda was
never a Siddha, was never truly enlightened as we had been told. (I have
heard since that Swami Nityananda said that he never claimed to be
enlightened. Is this some sort of excuse? He, as well as Swami
Chidvilasananda did let us believe it when it was given to us at every
single program). Given his actions, how could he have been? The next
question to haunt me for years was what about Swami Chidvilasananda. How
did I know if she was realized as well? I continued to do battle with this
quandary and ;tried to trust my experience; as a way to be at peace with my
staying in Siddha Yoga. However that was never really enough to convince
me, I continued to have doubts.

During the summer of 1991 I visited S. Fallsburg trying to get some
clarification, some resolution. I wrote a letter to Swami Chidvilasananda
and one of her secretaries came and talked with me. She told me that
neither Swami Chidvilasananda or Swami Nityananda were enlightened when
Swami Muktananda died. She said that Swami Nityananda was not able to hold
onto the Shakti but that Swami Chidvilasananda did so and eventually became
enlightened.

My direct experience of the two of them after Swami Muktananda died was
very powerful. As it was for many people. But despite having wonderful
experiences with Swami Nityananda, he was not realized.

In the past years I have had wonderful and powerful experiences with
several different spiritual healers. One was with a women who was trained
in the Philippines as a psychic healer. She was not enlightened and yet she
was able to channel and move tremendous amounts of energy. I learned that
strong spiritual experiences could be had from non-enlightened people and
yet I continued to put Swami Chidvilasananda as a perfected being.

So, it seems, I had been lied to. Siddha Yoga, Swami Chidvilasananda and
Swami Nityananda had all told us that they were realized, when they were
not. This deception should have been enough for me to leave but I did not.
Rather I continued to want to believe and to belong. But if one deception
occurred, there could be more.

Believe me, I never did want to see any deceptions in the first place.

And yet I could never quite accept Swami Chidvilasananda's authority and
began to question Swami Muktananda's as well. How and why did he put two
people on the throne as Siddha Guru's when they were not? What did this
imply about his state?

Another major problem I have had with Siddha Yoga was George Afif and how
he reflected upon Swami Chidvilasananda. He was an assistant to Swami
Muktananda and later to Swami Chidvilasananda. In 1983 he was charged with
statutory rape. (He was given a suspended six month jail sentence and three
years of probation). How in God's name could Swami Chidvilasananda keep him
at her side? What do we know about sex offenders? It takes several years of
intensive and specialized therapy for a motivated sex offender to change.
Given the many stories of George continuing to chase women and teens at the
ashram, it would appear, that George never changed. Apparently Swami
Nityananda wanted to get rid of George at this time of the rape charge. It
would seem that George temporarily ;won; that challenge. Then there was the
lake project. Several lawsuits later the ashram is now saying that he
signed contracts without authority. Anybody close would have seen the
amount of money he spent as well as the projects that were never finished.
I have heard that he wasted large amounts of money. What I never understood
is why Gurumayi allowed this? If she was realized (not that it took a
realized person to see what was happening) than she had to know about it,
as she was all knowing. So if she knew about it then she permitted it. Why?
Why waste all the devotee's money and hard work? Could that energy have
been used to help the poor? Why did the ashram need to look so beautiful?
And at what price? Maybe to attract new people?

A note about the lineage. In the beginning of almost every Siddha Yoga
program there is the required notice about the lineage of Siddha Yoga
extends from Swami Chidvilasananda to Swami Muktananda to Swami Nityananda
to Shiva. It is continually reported that we need a Guru and Siddha Yoga
has a handle on that lineage. They do explain that Swami Nityananda of
Ganeshpuri was born enlightened and that his Guru was from a prior
lifetime. I have no problem with that. I believe that an individual can be
born enlightened. It is what they don't say that bothers me. Several other
individuals apparently claimed to have been given the lineage from
Nityananda of Ganeshpuri as well. Siddha Yoga can not claim to be the sole
repository for Swami Nityananda's power.

When asked about whether there might be other enlightened Guru's in
existence now, I heard one Swami say, ;I have never meet one;. Doesn't
quite answer the question does it?

If Swami Chidvilasananda is not realized then she is as susceptible to all
the human frailties that we are: confusion, fear, greed, etc. That would
explain a great deal of what I have seen at Siddha Yoga over the years.

Shaktipat is defined as the spiritual wakening of an individual by a Guru.
In the stories of past Guru's related by Siddha Yoga and even in Swami
Muktananda's own auto biography it is quite normal for people to spend many
years of hard work and spiritual practices before being given this gift. I
have wondered how this has changed. Now we have a Guru that promises
Shaktipat for a fee. While it is frequently stated that the Intensive is
the program, designed by Swami Muktananda, (or was it Werner Erhart) to
give Shaktipat, it is only occasionally stated that one can get Shaktipat
outside of an intensive. Why is that? Many people take the intensive and
say later that nothing happened. Siddha Yoga responds that whatever happens
in the intensive is just perfect for that individual, thereby covering all
the bases. Isn't it just as possible that many people take the intensive
and do not get Shaktipat, that they are not ready (I have no problem with
this idea. I didn't learn how to ride a bike or use my computer in a flash.
It took many years of school and college for me to learn what I have
learned). But I think Siddha Yoga would not want to dwell on this. It might
make people think twice before signing up for a $ 400 intensive which does
not even include lunch. And by the way, how does a unenlightened person
give Shaktipat anyway?

Another ongoing problem with Siddha Yoga has been the money. Why do the
courses and Intensives cost so much ? Given what I have seen in other
spiritual paths, Siddha Yoga has become a major financial operation.

Is it true that Katherine Parrish, who heads raising money for the Prasad
project, used to raise money for ;The Hunger Project; for EST? Isn't this
the one that most of the money went to people's pockets and not to the
poor?

In the past years I have seen a bigger shift towards asking for Dakshina,
the spiritual practice of donating money. Why? Our local center raised more
than 20K for her recent tour (1995-96) and now the foundation is asking for
more money for her world mission. You should have seen the reaction when
the Dakshina team made that new pitch. There was dead silence in the room,
people were stunned. And several of them said so (after the meeting of
course). I've also wondered why the people with lots of money get special
attention. And why do they end up in positions of responsibility?

Since Swami Chidvilasananda has been in charge the amount of money poured
into the looks of the facility have been tremendous. Yes, people say that
there is nothing wrong with having a nice place to worship. I would agree
as well. But at what point does it cross the line? How many chandeliers are
needed to make the place comfortable enough to meditate in? And why does
she need to have such a luxurious place to live? To attract those with
money? And all this at the expense of the health of those staying in the
mold infested Sadhana Katir? Some might say that so and so donated those
chandeliers implying that the foundation did not actually spend the money
themselves. I don't think so. If Siddha Yoga had a better use for the money
spent this way don't you think they would have said so to the donator? Also
the person donating the items would have to of coordinated this with the
foundation in advance. The foundation thereby giving permission for this to
happen.

The next problem has been the clear public relations and Hollywood aspect
to Siddha Yoga. If Swami Chidvilasananda is realized, why should she care
what people think of her and her organization? It seemed to be a simple PR
move to have George suddenly not available when the New Yorker article
(November 14, 1994) was being researched by Liz Harris. (Not that anyone in
S. Fallsburg ever got a chance to read it as the ashram bought up as many
copies as they could in the area to prevent people from seeing it. I spoke
to one of the ;buyers; who did this). The ashrams official word was that
George was out of the country caring for his parents. I have heard that
George is in New York working in an advertising agency.

Why has Siddha Yoga been so paranoid about people visiting other spiritual
teachers? Why did people take names of those visiting other Guru's? People
in positions of authority are told that they are not allowed to see other
teachers. Are they afraid that they might get something from someone else
that was to be had at Siddha Yoga? If Swami Chidvilasananda is not
realized, do you think she would want people comparing Guru's?

Another problem has been the shift towards psychological growth techniques.
Why does an enlightened being need to come up with more and more courses to
teach us? Aren't the traditional texts of India good enough? It's almost
like they need to do something different and exciting to get peoples
attention (and money). The No Ego Course for example taught about several
types of egos. Someone later found the psych book that the information came
from, listing the types of egos.

As I have told friends and family about my leaving Siddha Yoga I have
gotten several interesting responses.

One person said that while they had doubts they trusted Swami so and so and
that as long as that person was still here, it must be ok. Well, I had to
stop and think. I have said that to myself for many years. Then it occurred
to me. What about all the swami's that have left Siddha Yoga? So I began to
collect a list, to see what it would look like. I don't know if this is
complete but this is what I have found so far. I remember many of the
Swami's who left Siddha Yoga. Many of them were wonderful teachers and
highly respected inside of Siddha Yoga.

 Not Swami, still with Siddha Yoga
 S. Lalitananda
 S. Yogananda
 S. Purnananda
 S. Vimalananda
 S. Hemananda
 No longer with Siddha Yoga
 S. Abhayananda
 S. Tejomayananda
 S. Nikilananda
 S. Gopalananda
 S. Shankarananada
 S. Samatananda
 S. Paramananda
 S. Girijananda
 S. Radhananda
 S. Dayananda
 S. Vedananda
 S. Shivananda
 S. Teriananda
 S. Shradananda

In addition to the Swami's there is Joseph Chilton Pearce, a world famous
teacher. He was highly placed in Siddha Yoga for many years. I considered
him to be a very solid guy and always liked his teachings, prior to and
while in Siddha Yoga. But when was the last time you saw him? Actually he
has left. Below is a short description from a friend who found this out,
who used to be on the steering committee of a center:

;This happened a few years ago, when I was still the head of programming,
before I went on the Steering Committee. Joe Pierce had been conspicuously
absent from the limelight for a while (6 months or so?). A satsang member,
who teaches at a local university heard that Joe was going to be in town in
a few months, was speaking and doing a book signing, and wanted to know if
I'd call him and invite him to speak at one of our programs at the center.
She even gave me the name of his publicist in NY. I decided to check this
out with the South Fallsburg Center's Office first, since it was a
programming question, and called our contact in the Center's Office. They
said they would check on it and get back to me. I was called about a day
later and said we should leave Joe alone, not invite him to speak, or even
invite him to the center. She said he was very sick, and that we didn't
want to tax his health by burdening him with such a request. As I recall,
she even told me not to talk about him at all, and if asked by the satsang
member, I should just say he wasn't available. I was told that he'd left
Siddha Yoga and that I was not to pass that on, just to say he wasn't
available and wasn't feeling so well.;

Actually I have heard that Joe Pierce has a new Guru.

What does this mean? That some of them couldn't take it or that some of
them couldn't stand the hypocrisy any more. And why does Siddha Yoga not
tell us of a Swami's leaving. At least early in Siddha Yoga their would be
an announcement in the back of the Siddha Path. Now it's done in secrecy.
The same person who told me about Joe Pierce also told me about S.
Nikilananda's departure in about 1994. This is what he said:

;S. Nikilananda: I received a letter by regular US mail (unusual, most
communication from SF was via fax or voice) while I was on the Steering
Committee, addressed to Steering Committee members, ashram managers and
country coordinators. It had attached to it a letter from Swami
Nikilananda, resigning his position as swami, renouncing his vows of
monkhood, and gave an explanation as to why he was doing this. He sighted
personal reasons, and specifically stated that it had nothing to do with
all the negative publicity Siddha Yoga was receiving at the time (the Liz
Harris article was mentioned, I believe). He said he needed to move on in
his life. The cover letter that was addressed to us was from the Global
Communications department. I can't remember if it was signed by anyone, but
I'm sure it was; probably Lolita Shirella (sp?). They said we were not to
pass on this information to the community, that it was for our eyes only.
We were being informed in case anyone asked us if we knew anything about
Nikilananda's leaving, we were to say it was for personal reasons, had
nothing to do with the NYr article, and leave it at that.;

So, I ask myself why have so many left? I have come to believe that they
can no longer live with themselves as being part of Siddha Yoga. They leave
quietly as that is what Siddha Yoga wants (don't rock the boat or make it
difficult for people by giving them this information) and because they do
not want to be harassed by Siddha Yoga.

Another person addressed my leaving by quoting Rajneesh (of all people).
;It's better to have perfect faith in an imperfect master than imperfect
faith in a perfect master;. My first reaction is that this is a great
statement coming from Rajneesh. Maybe it gives people the permission and
the courage to stay. I couldn't disagree more. Perfect faith and devotion
for a person who is not enlightened will only get you as far as they are,
at best. I guess if that's all you want that's fine. And what if that
person goes off the deep end why you are being a perfect devotee? Are you
going to go down with him? In Rajneesh's case that included planning to
poison people at restaurants.

I think what is behind this (granted this is my interpretation) is what do
I say to myself and to others after giving so many years to this path? Does
it mean that I have wasted all these years? I think not. There's nothing to
be gained by beating myself up about it. Since I haven't done anything to
hurt anyone else (except trying to enlist others into Siddha Yoga) then I
really only have myself to deal with. Why did I come to Siddha Yoga? What
was I looking for? As I look back (at the time I was working as a
therapist, owned a house, was married and doing just fine) I had long prior
given up on my childhood teachings of Catholicism and my life was devoid of
any active spiritual practices. I had always been looking for a true
spiritual path. It's just that I got sidetracked for a while. But that is
what I still want. If anything it makes me more determined than ever to get
it!

Another person said, if your going to leave why bring up all this stuff?
Why cause trouble? Well, I guess, I am grateful for all the articles (the
New Yorker article by Liz Harris, ;O Guru, Guru, Guru; November 14, 1994;
the article in the CoEvolution Quarterly, ;The Secret Life of Swami
Muktananda; by William Rodarmor which includes a letter by Stan Trout,
formally known as Swami Abyayananda, Winter 1983 and the Gnosis article
;Face to Face; Confronting the Guru-Disciple Relationship, Spring of 1996;)
that have been written and all the information that exists on the internet.
It has helped me come to see the truth and move on. The truth about Siddha
Yoga and the truth that I still want to know God. Maybe somebody else will
read what I have written and it will help them see their truth as well.

Another person agreed there have been problems but now things have changed,
they are better now. Yes, I agree George is gone and that is good. (This is
what they were referring too). But the circumstances that allowed George to
come to power are still there. And the fact remains that Siddha Yoga is
based on deception.

Another person told me that she had separated Gurumayi from the
organization as a way to deal with all the problems. Yes, I had done that
too in an attempt to make sense of it all. After all, the other people
below her were not realized and therefore subject to mistakes like the rest
of us. But Gurumayi is ok. But I kept asking myself, if she is enlightened
how can she allow all these problems to continue. For our benefit? I think
not. I think Gurumayi is well aware of what goes on in the organization and
has complete control of it.

In the end, I am angry for being deceived and lied to. I am also grateful
for some of the people I have meet as I believe the vast majority of them
have entered into Siddha Yoga with good hearts and good intentions. And as
I take responsibility for my being in Siddha Yoga, for those 17 years, I
now choose to leave.

In the short few months, I have felt a sigh of relief. They needed to find
three people to replace all the seva I did. It has been exciting to see how
I can live my life without the ever growing pressure of SYDA and I look
forward to what lies ahead.

July 1996
A Personal Story of SYDA Involvement

It has been almost sixteen years since I first heard of Siddha Yoga. Over
that time, Siddha Yoga has absorbed my time, energy and financial resources
as I joined its ranks, worked in and for the organization and slowly and
painfully left in order to regain my own life and identity. Leaving Siddha
Yoga was the best thing I could do for myself and for those closest to me.
It has been a difficult but life affirming process and I am glad to be
nearing the end of it.

One of the basic tenants of Siddha Yoga is to ;honor oneself;. It has been
my understanding and appreciation of that tenant that has lead me to
examine the real activities of this group - the real activities which, to
my sorrow, I have found to be very different than the publicly stated
tenants and teachings. After many years of involvement and dedication to
Siddha Yoga, I find that I can no longer ;honor my own self; and live an
ethical life without leaving what I now understand to be a destructive
cult.

How I Got Into Siddha Yoga

I was first introduced to Siddha Yoga by a casual acquaintance I meet in a
business type setting. Our business was such that we saw each other every
day for a period of about a month and often took lunch together. During
casual conversations he told me that he followed a spiritual path based on
the teachings of an Indian swami by the name of Muktananda who himself was
the disciple of Nityananda. We discussed the Bhagavad Gita and he recited
some of the teachings of Siddha Yoga. It was all very foreign to me at the
time. For a long time I thought he was saying ;City Yoga; and I thought it
was something to do with contortionistic type exercises! As for the long
and exotic sounding names - I thought they could be fun names for one's
pets if only one could remember them! Little did I know at the time that
those names would become as familiar to me as my own.

After some prompting from my acquaintance, I went with him to the Siddha
Yoga center. We got there at a meal time and I was invited to eat with a
group of very warm and welcoming people. To my amazement, one of them was a
woman I had known briefly years before, again in a professional setting.
She was dressed in orange and wore a red dot on her forehead and she talked
of a philosophy that was unfamiliar but interesting. She was friendly and
welcomed me with attention and kindness. I stayed for a chant - again
unfamiliar - and left with conflicting feelings.

On one hand I was invigorated. I had met some interesting people who seemed
to be happy and comfortable with themselves. I had been exposed to
practices and beliefs that were different and exotic. Although the chanting
was discordant to my ears (evening arati) and the English translation did
not make a whole lot of sense to me, it was also intriguing. I felt
energized and excited by the experience.

At the same time, I was uncomfortable with the obvious adoration the people
there had for the person of Muktananda. I was told that he was ;God; and
that he was currently in Santa Monica. I was told that the best thing I
could do for myself was to go to California and met him. I heard about
events called shaktipat and intensives - things that would change my life
for ever and insure perfection for whatever followed this life. I noticed
people looking at the many photos of this man in adoration and I heard them
tell of personal directions they had received from him and their commitment
to follow them to the letter. The most uncomfortable of all was observing
people bowing down to a photos of Muktananda, placing their heads on a pair
of his shoes and in some cases kissing them.

I did not go back to a Siddha Yoga program for many months. However the
person who was my original connection delivered a calendar of events to me
every month. Some time later the same person wrote a note on a calendar
saying that he was giving a talk in a program on a particular night and he
would really like me to be there to hear it. I felt flattered and for some
reason imagined that he needed my presence to do what I thought might be a
difficult activity. So I went along.

This time I was greeted like a long lost friend by everyone I had met there
months before. They seemed genuinely pleased to see me and warmly included
me in what was going on. After the program, several of them paid me a lot
of attention, discussed the program with me and told me stories of being
with Muktananda (who they called Baba) in person. Again they told me of the
wonderful benefits of going to be with him in person.

After that I continued going to Siddha Yoga programs regularly. I was often
asked to do what I thought of as very special things like waving the arati
tray to photos of Baba while a chant was being sung. I was flattered.
Looking back on it now, I can see that in many ways flattering was the
basis of my increasing involvement and commitment to Siddha Yoga. This
commitment was sealed by going to South Fallsburg in September of 1982 when
Baba sent Swami Chidvilasananda (who he had appointed his successor along
with her brother, Swami Nityananda) to do a Labor Day intensive. I ;fell in
love; with her and through a series of events it seemed that she knew and
cared for me too. I was naive. I thought the fact that she seemed to know
me was a sign of her omnipotence. Now I know better, but it impressed me at
the time. The honeymoon continued as I went to Ganeshpuri that Christmas
just six weeks after Muktananda had died.

What Happened Then

For the following seven years I was a disciple of Gurumayi
Chidvilasananda's. I was heavily involved in my local center, several times
a year I went to wherever Gurumayi was on tour and I went to the South
Fallsburg ashram for at least some part of most summers. Visiting Siddha
Yoga teachers often stayed at my house, I was included in the inner circle
at the center and was privy to some of the information that was not
distributed to many others. When at the ashram I was given seva that took
me into circles I would not other wise have been exposed to. For example, I
saw the very palatial office complex used by George and Kanteya under the
less than luxurious dorms in the South Fallsburg main building.

In 1983, The CoEvolution Quarterly published The Secret Life of Swami
Muktananda that revealed, among other things, Baba's sexual involvement
with young girls. Any clear thinking person would have left an organization
associated with such behavior immediately. However, by that time I was
indoctrinated enough to imagine that there might be some acceptable
explanation. I talked with an ;old timer; at my center who told me an
elaborate story of how the people he thought were the primary instigators
of that article were embittered folk who felt Baba did not give them enough
attention. In addition, he said that the descriptions of sexual
improprieties on Baba's part could not possibly be true because Baba was
;so powerful that if anyone had sex with him they would self-destruct;!!
(What makes this story even more shocking to me now that I have my own
brain back is that the person who said this to me is a psychotherapist who
should of known better.) Incredible though it now seems, I fell for it.
Besides, it was Gurumayi I was committed to and since Muktananda was now
dead, I thought his immoral behavior, if there was any, was also dead with
him. I put the information aside as irrelevant - but the knowledge of this
horror lay dormant in my mind.

A few years later, Swami Nityananda (named for Muktananda's guru) resigned
his position as guru - or at least that is what we were told at first.
Through a series of elaborate and videotaped ceremonies, we were told that
Swami Nityananda was the ;perfect disciple; and that he was following
Baba's instructions to remain on the guru's chair for only three years in
order to help Gurumayi. He declared himself a disciple of Gurumayi's and
committed himself to serving her. Once again I fell for the hype and
believed what I was told. It was a different story a few months later
however, when Nityananda, having fled from Siddha Yoga during Gurumayi's
tour to Hawaii, claimed his right to the position of a Siddha Yoga guru
once again. Now we were told a completely different story. Nityananda was
described as a fallen monk who exploited his position as Baba's successor
sexually, financially and ethically. Panels of Siddha Yoga teachers
traveled the world informing devotees, in minute detail, of the terrible
behavior of Nityananda. Yes, once again, when they were at my city, some of
these teachers stayed at my house. I spent several very long evenings with
them hearing of even more terrible stories than those that were told in
public meetings. I do not doubt that these stories were true - but they
were not the whole truth. This was not a black and white situation.
Gurumayi was behaving in equally distressing ways that we did not know
about at the time.

I was not sorry to take the photos of Nityananda off of my walls. I did not
really relate to him. It was Gurumayi I was committed to. What did bother
me though, was that (a) we were told two different stories to explain
Nityananda's departure and (b) after he left, history was vigorously
rewritten in Siddha Yoga circles. It was an insult to the intelligence of
devotees to firstly be told that Nityananda was the ;perfect disciple; who
was resigning on the erstwhile unrevealed instructions of his now dead guru
and then, just a few months later, to be told stories illustrating his
shocking behavior that caused the ;shakti; to throw him out. The two
stories just did not, and do not, mesh. All mention of a co-successor was
eliminated from Siddha Yoga public presentations, publications and videos.
One significant video was recalled. The Passage of Power had been made at
the instruction of Muktananda and was touted as the greatest of all Siddha
Yoga videos. It supposedly illustrated the guru lineage from Shiva through
to Bhagawan Nityananda to Muktananda and then to the brother/sister team of
Chidvilasananda and Nityananda. I owned one of those videos and I received
a letter from SYDA instructing me to return it to South Fallsburg so that
they could make some ;additions;. Those additions were never made and
months later I received another letter from SYDA stating that I would not
be getting the video back, that it would be used within the ashram only and
that as compensation I could have a ;free; intensive provided I traveled to
South Fallsburg to get it. It is quite clear to me that the removal of this
video was related to the fact that it showed extensive footage of the
elaborate and ceremonious way Baba indicated to the whole of Siddha Yoga
that Chidvilasananda AND Nityananda were his successors. At one point,
through Chidvilasananda as translator, Baba says that the installation
ceremony was being held so that the ;whole world; would know that ;these
two swamis; were his successors.

Once again, all this information was stored away in my mind but I continued
to worship and follow Gurumayi Chidvilasananda. So far I had not heard
anything about her that was able to disrupt my faith. The, oh so subtle,
mind control I had been subjected to was strong enough to block out the
inconsistencies in the `Nityananda resignation stories that I knew Gurumayi
herself was a part of because I had seen and heard her tell them on
videotape.

There is another incident that occurred at that time that has bothered me
through the years and concerns a statement made by Gurumayi to a group of
Center Leaders. At the time that the stories of Nityananda's behavior were
being systematically told to all devotees, many Center Leaders were called
on an emergency basis to South Fallsburg. I was not a Center Leader at the
time, but I was close to a person who was. On arrival at South Fallsburg,
the Center Leaders were treated as VIPs and were told the Nityananda horror
stories in a number of seminar type sessions. Later Gurumayi herself met
with these Center Leaders. I am told that at one point one of the Center
Leaders told Gurumayi of his continued love and devotion and asked her if
there was more information to come. He reassured Gurumayi that all the
people there could take it but asked that they hear it ALL now. Gurumayi
said that ;yes; there was more information but that she would talk about it
at a later date. To my knowledge that ;additional information; has never
been told by Gurumayi or anyone else.

In the mean time I continued to do my sadhana at my local center and visit
with Gurumayi very often. However the honey moon was over. I think the
beginnings of my own personal disillusionment happened during a management
type meeting when instructions were being handed out in a very heavy handed
and authoritarian way. It dawned on me like thousand light bulbs being
turned on that THIS IS NO DEMOCRACY!! I checked this insight out with a few
;old timers; who confirmed with pride that it was true - we did what we
were told either directly from the guru or from her representatives! WOW!
How did I, a life long liberal who believed in democracy and freedom above
anything else get involved in this? Even more WOW how come I stayed even
after learning this truth?

I know the answer to some extent. By that time I believed Gurumayi was an
enlightened being (a Siddha guru) who could and had awakened my kundalini
(spiritual energy) and, provided I continue as her disciple, had the
ability and will to take me eventually to her own state. My karma would be
taken care of and `with a little bit of luck' I would not have to come back
to this earth for any more lives and I would spend eternity merged with
God. Pretty appealing don't you think? In addition, along with other SYDA
devotees, I chanted the Guru Gita every morning which told, among other
things, of the terrible consequences of disobeying the guru or making her
angry. One could make God angry and get away with it but never the guru.
Even God cannot intervene if one makes the guru angry. Powerful stuff. I
fell for it.

In the meantime I was becoming more and more depressed. My self-esteem was
falling and I found myself unable to do well things I had been good at all
my life. It had been my nature to carry out management activities with
confidence and efficiency. Now I was finding myself needing the
confirmation of others and an underlying anxiety arose that I may not be
doing things in a manner that would please Gurumayi. I was put in positions
of more and more authority at the center and in my seva when at the ashrams
but my sense of self was not growing. I now understand that this was
because there were others who had more authority than me who consistently
and in a very passive aggressive way undermined what I did. Such was the
mind control I was being exposed to.

For example, I was the manager of the bookstore at our center. It was my
job to keep the bookstore stocked with items from the main bookstore in
South Fallsburg. However I did not have a budget to do this. I had to get a
check to cover the orders from the Center Leader who refused to tell me how
much money was available to purchase bookstore inventory. (In those days
there was NOTHING more secret in Siddha Yoga circles than the finance!) So
time after time after time I took a whole day off of my own work to make
out a bookstore order only to be told ;in the sweetest possible way; to
redo it because it was too much money. When I asked how much money WAS
available so that I could make an order to fit the finances I was denied
that information and told to make the order and the Center Leader would
decide if it was appropriate. This all came to a head when a group of
Siddha Yoga teachers (Mandali) arrived in our city prior to a visit from
Gurumayi. They ran many introductory programs as a means of gathering more
and more people into the fold for when Gurumayi came. It was my job to take
the bookstore to these programs. Of course there was a very small inventory
because of the crazy making processes I have just described. The Mandali
was furious that there were not a good supply of bookstore items available
to sell at their introductory programs and I was in deep water! I was angry
enough to tell the truth about the reason for the limited stock and a rush
order was received from South Fallsburg for the remainder of the Mandali
visit.

This is only one example of the subtle, psychological abuse that went on at
the center level. Power was exerted constantly from those with it to those
with less of it. Innumerable meetings were called that started late and
ended late because the ;chairperson; was late and slowed the agenda. Many
ridiculous seva projects were started only to be canceled and another one
begun. The point of seva I was told was to give selflessly - never mind if
the project was ill thought out or if it had to be redone or disbanded part
way through. The main thing was to get rid of our own egos! So many hours
spent on these projects to the detriment of my own family and my own
business and social needs. Yet I thought I was working for Gurumayi and
that that was the greatest calling of all. Through all of this everyone
(myself included) went around with sweet smiles on our faces, encouraging
others to join the organization and speaking only of positive experiences
and positive emotions.

Gradually, at the instigation of authorities in South Fallsburg things
began to change. I became particularly aware of this through a Center
Leader's training course I attended in South Fallsburg. The appearance of
the center became more ;yuppie; and a great deal of emphasis was placed on
the style of dress worn at programs. Women were supposed to wear skirts and
men were to wear shirts and ties. The style of clothing was to be upgraded
and Center Leaders were to set an example. I recall an amusing incident
when I was told by a woman wearing a sari that although my outfit was very
nice it was ;too ethnic; to wear to the center (I was wearing a beautiful
embroidered skirt). Greater emphasis was placed on selling from the
bookstore and paid courses and intensives were ;pushed; in a way I had not
seen before. We were trained to do this at Center Leader's training courses
and through instructions from South Fallsburg. Only specially trained
musicians could participate in playing musical instruments or singing in
lead chanting groups. Elaborate trainings were held for sevites who greeted
newcomers, those who spoke at programs and any other seva that involved
interaction with new people. Community meetings were called to teach us how
to talk about Gurumayi and Siddha Yoga with friends and family. All talks
were tutored to the point that experience talks and public announcements
all started to sound the same. I had been a public speaker at my center for
many years but stopped doing this when my talks was molded through tutoring
into something that were not me and express experiences that were not mine.

A greater emphasis was placed on money. Bookstore items increased in price
as did paid courses and intensives. While in the past it had always been
said that it was Baba's instructions to never ask for money in his name,
dakshana (donations) was asked for more and more often. On one occasion, a
community meeting was called to ask for money for a specific project. I was
asked by the person organizing the meeting to prepare a short statement
describing the benefits of giving dakshana and to present it, as if
spontaneously, at the meeting. In other words I was a plant.

My depression continued. I went to a physician (also a Siddha Yoga devotee)
who told me I was wrong about the psychological abuses I described and put
me on antidepressants. I thought it was likely that my depression was a
result of my ;poor sadhana; and I increased my daily practices and the time
I spent at the center. I was exposed to more and more psychological abuses
in the name of Gurumayi and I observed them happening to others around me.
Gurumayi came to our city which is another whole story of abuse and
rudeness. I (and others) worked to the point of illness and neglect of our
families and work responsibilities to prepare for her arrival. When she
came, Gurumayi was just plain rude to the community that put out so much to
accommodate her. This was the first time it truly entered my mind that
there was something wrong with the adoration of this person. The power she
has as the controller of the lives and destinies of her disciples is
tremendous. I doubt anyone's ego could retain any humility when awarded
such power. I now know that Gurumayi has not been able to.

How I Left Siddha Yoga

Some time later I went for my last visit to Ganeshpuri, India. That was a
fateful visit for me - and one I am very grateful for because it was the
beginning of the return of my senses. I saw many abuses there and many
things that are against my basic sense of decency and honor. I saw
homophobia, elitism, psychological and verbal harassment, illegal
activities, abuses of the rights of animals and just plain meanness and
unkindness.

A few examples. Gurumayi was coming to the Guru Gita every morning at that
time. She came each day in what appeared to me to be a very grumpy mood.
The lights were off until she arrived and no-one was supposed to look at
her during the chant. (People, such as I, had traveled thousands of miles
and great expense to ;see; her and were now denied all but a brief sight of
her. The only other time one could see her was during darshan time in the
mornings at which time we were to stay only five minutes and leave.) After
the chant was over and daylight had come, Gurumayi called one person after
another to stand up and she verbally harassed them in as cruel a manner as
I had ever seen in my life. This happened day after day after day. I was
stunned and very disturbed by this display of mistreatment. I knew that in
ANY other circumstances and by any other person, this behavior would be
seen by me and any rational person as inappropriate and unacceptable. In
any other circumstance I would of left and/or spoken out about what I was
seeing. In the context of spirituality we accepted it as ;grace; and sat by
as people were tormented.

During that stay in Ganeshpuri I was asked to participate in an illegal
activity. As a part of my seva I was asked to type wording on a
governmental document over an existing signature thus changing the
governmental approval that was given by the document. I certainly got the
feeling that this was a very common practice in Siddha Yoga.

By the time I left I knew that Siddha Yoga would never be the same for me
again. I had observed enough over the years to feel really uncomfortable
with the organization and I had a unsettling feeling that there was much
more that I did not know that was not right. I came home and left all my
seva at the center and stopped going regularly to programs. I kept Gurumayi
in my heart as a concept - as a symbol of spiritual practice but I was
disappointed in the person.

Soon after that came the November 1994 issue of the New Yorker magazine
with that now famous article by Liz Harris entitled O Guru, Guru, Guru. I
devoured that article. In some ways it represented a relief for me as it
confirmed my sense that all was not right with Siddha Yoga at the core. At
the time I read that article there were many things in it that I knew from
my own experience to be true, there were some things in it that I did not
know whether they were true or not but there was nothing in it that I knew
for sure was not true.

For example, I knew that Gurumayi had her brother, Nityananda, harassed by
devotees because I had a friend who was literally involved in doing it. In
fact, I was asked to carry a gift from Gurumayi to someone as a ;thank you;
for what the person had done in harassing Nityananda. I knew that there
were ;bugs; in the ashrams as one such bug was pointed out to me by a very
old-timer and staff member when I was in Oakland. I knew that Gurumayi
really liked expensive and ;real; jewelry as a friend of mine had given her
a piece of jewelry and was told by Gurumayi in disgust that it had been
checked by a jeweler and it was ;fake;. I knew that Gurumayi had people spy
on others and report to her as I over-heard two people speaking to each
other behind me at an ashram in which one person told another that he had
been instructed to follow and watch Meg Christian and report to Gurumayi on
what she did. I knew there were lists of ;Special Consideration; (VIPs)
people who were given special treatment as I had seen such lists myself as
part of my seva at the ashram and I was on one such list at one time and
was given a great deal of special attention by a specially appointed staff
person. I knew that George Afif had been convicted of statutory rape
because I was friends with a person who was involved in management at the
Oakland Ashram when it happened and I had previously been told about it.

In addition, the same stories that were described in the CoEvolution
Quarterly magazine resurfaced, this time with greater emphasis and more
concrete evidence to support them. So I reexamined the information I had
received all those years ago - this time with a more open mind.

Since the publication of the New Yorker article I have been able to
confirmed every single piece of information that is in there for myself
from reliable sources. I now know that EVERYTHING that is reported in that
article is true. In addition, I have made contact with many people who
have, like me, had the courage to examine this big business Siddha Yoga
organization that has captured our hearts and minds for so many years.
While unique, I have found that their stories are similar to mine and that
they have gone through the same painful process of separating from
something that we all thought gave meaning to our lives. In addition, I
have read and heard the personal testimony of people who have been more
overtly abused than I have and I believe them. When a woman says she has
been raped or sexually abused I believe her. There is nothing in it for her
to make up such a story. I am appalled at the hundreds of Siddha Yoga
psychotherapists who also know that and seem willing to take the side of
the abusers in this instance. This is scary and horrifying.

I have undertaken an exhaustive study of published literature about cults
and I have learned that there are certain characteristics of abusive cults
many of which describe Siddha Yoga as I have experienced it. One of the
most powerful characteristics is the unquestioning allegiance to a central
personage. This is certainly the case in Siddha Yoga.

While Siddha Yoga may not be a ;Jonestown; or a Waco, there are enough
overt and covert abuses going on in there for me to leave. The final
leavings have been slow and painful. I would not have chosen to leave
Gurumayi. I loved the person I thought she was. However, I love my own
inner Self more and I have to stand by principles that say abuse - sexual,
financial, environmental, psychological, physical - is NOT OK and I cannot
support it.

Even if only one young woman was raped by Baba, even if only one person was
coerced into given large checks to the guru, even if there was only one
incident of electronic eavesdropping at the ashram, even if Gurumayi only
once physically harassed her brother, even if only one person was verbally
belittled in public by Gurumayi ..... it would be enough for me to say that
I cannot stay connected with this organization and retain a sense of
integrity and honor. These things, and others, happened many more times
than once and I am out! The remaining bonds I had with Gurumayi and SYDA
came down with her photos from my walls. My depression has completely
lifted without chemical aid and I am happier than I have been in my life.

I have learned many things in Siddha Yoga that are valuable. The basic
teachings are marvelous principles to live one's life by. It is just too
bad that Siddha Yoga does not live by them. I value the teachings and I
value the practices. I expect meditation to be a daily activity for me for
the rest of my life and I hope that chanting will once again become
available to me without the Siddha Yoga strings attached. None of these
teachings or practices are the property of Siddha Yoga. They are universal
teachings and practices that come to us from many spiritual traditions. It
is fortunate that one of the most powerful teachings of Siddha Yoga is to
honor one's own self. It was by imbibing this teaching that I was able to
see the unpleasant truths in this path and get out. I have confidence that
I am not alone in this and that taking responsibility for oneself will
enable many others to leave and reclaim their own sense of self.

With best wishes to all who read this in the spirit of seeking the truth.
May you find what you are looking for.
My Experiences as a Steering Committee Member in Siddha Yoga

I was in Siddha Yoga from 1989 through 1996. In that time I became more and
more involved with my local center, eventually becoming a Steering
Committee member for 2 years.

Many things bothered me about SYDA during that time: the rumors of
improprieties both sexual and financial; the way business was run locally
and nationally; the special treatment given people with large bank accounts
(or the appearance of large bank accounts); Gurumayi's seemingly
unnecessary cruelty to those closest to her; the murkiness of the lineage;
the constant rewriting of SYDA history; to name just a few. As I became
more involved with management type sevas, I was privy to events and
procedures that became more and more hard to justify as being part of a
benevolent, spiritual organization; an organization that SYDA claimed to
be.

It was the article in the New Yorker, in November of 1994, that really
started the end of my involvement with SYDA. I hung on for a little over a
year after that, finding it hard to believe that the allegations and rumors
detailed in the article could all be true; or that Gurumayi could be
involved in these negative aspects of SYDA. In fact, it took me a year to
even read the article. But after reading it, and then reading the 1983
Co-Evolution Quarterly article, and the numerous archived posting from the
discussion group on America On Line; and talking to a few people who had
left and experienced things firsthand; I knew I had to leave.

I could no longer support an organization that was so rotten at the very
core. An organization that spoke out of both sides of it's mouth, that
considered the multitudes of followers to be easy pickings for financial
exploitation. An organization that was based on a cleverly constructed
series of lies and half-truths.

In the end, I just had to admit that Gurumayi and Baba were not realized
beings. It couldn't be true because all the other little lies that
surrounded it were too numerous. Yet, for years, I either ignored the
little lies, or I excused them, because I believed they were realized.

I believe that Nityananda of Ganeshpuri was a Siddha. I also believe that
Muktananda was one of his followers. Upon Nityananda's death in the early
60's, Muktananda made a false claim to the world that he was the appointed
successor of this great saint of Ganeshpuri. Muktananda had done some
spiritual practices and had attained a certain level of spiritual
attainment. However, I do not believe that he attained liberation, nor was
he a real guru; merely a liar and an opportunist who claimed he was
liberated, and claimed he was a true guru. His behavior of having sex with
hundreds of young girls, is entirely inconsistent with his claims of
celibacy and renunciation. His strong-arm tactics for people who told of
his lust for young girls, is merely further proof of his lack of moral and
ethical fiber, as well as his lack of claimed spiritual attainment.

His appointed successors, the brother and sister team of Swami Nityananda
and Swami Chidvilasananda were not, and are not now, realized. I have heard
that even today, when pressed, those closest to Chidvilasananda will admit
that she was not realized when Muktananda installed her and her brother.
Yet, at the time, such claims were made. The ridiculous and embarrassing
break between the two gurus that left Gurumayi in charge and her brother
out in the dark, and the following years of harassment, is further proof of
Gurumayi's sorry lack of attainment.

It is clear that SYDA is not anywhere near what it claims to be. It appears
that it's real aim is for the financial gain of its leader; and for her
amusement. I can not support such falsehood any longer. I believe that most
people who enter SYDA, do so out of pure motives. They spend most of their
time in SYDA believing they are on a true spiritual path, blissfully
ignorant of the chaos and lies that exist coming from the leader and those
around her. They hear of the rumors, but believe the party line: that they
are just rumors, and are being spread by a small group of disgruntled
ex-followers. Yet, the rumors never seem to go away.

And for me, it's not just that the central truth of Gurumayi's state is a
falsehood, but the utter chaos and pettiness and ugliness that exists just
underneath the surface in SYDA, that also played a large part in my
decision to leave. For it was really this chaos and ugliness that really
led me to know that Gurumayi was not what she claimed to be. And it was
this chaos and ugliness that was always there and wouldn't go away, that
finally led me to the door of leaving SYDA. What follows are some
observations about my years as a Steering Committee person for my local
center, and about some of the trainings and courses I took in connection
with becoming a Steering Committee member.

Center's Leader Training Course, South Fallsburg Ashram, Summer, 1992

The design of the Center Leader's Training Course that summer was quite
unique. All participants were required to take not only the CLT courses (of
which there were two sessions each day for 5 days, one in the morning
before lunch, and the other in the afternoon after lunch); but were also
required to take a course in the morning (either Traditions of Siddha Yoga
1, or Traditions 2; this course went from after breakfast, until about 1/2
an hour before the CLT began); and a course in the evening, The No Ego
Course. The 3 courses came as a package, and the fee was waived for CLT
participants for both the No Ego Course, and the Traditions courses. A
nominal fee, by SYDA standards was charged for the CLT Course (I seem to
recall it was $50 or so).

The effect of all these courses was that you were constantly being fed
information; you were always kept busy, and there was no extra time in your
day, except early in the morning, before breakfast; but, of course, it was
expected you'd meditate and attend the Guru Gita at those times. The design
of the courses themselves were very clever in imposing a way of thinking on
the participants. The Traditions courses were just informational, but there
was a lot of information, and you were going to be tested at the end. The
CLT courses were also filled with information, but also with exercises for
group processes, notably, TDH, Team Data Handling, a method of consensus
decision making in small groups. Also during the trainings, well
orchestrated presentations on controversial issues were presented; for
instance, the issue of dress codes was handled very slickly, but kind of
got out of hand, when the Germans and the French rebelled about having
culturally biased (i.e. American) dress codes being forced on them.

The real gem of the whole training, the one that broke down all resistance,
was The No Ego Course. For 5 to 6 hours each night, we were locked in the
hall of Muktananda Mandir and two swamis (Ishwarananda and Durgananda) and
Peter Hayes, dressed in robes and masks, browbeat selected people with
personal attacks orchestrated by Gurumayi from the one-way mirrored glass
booth at the back of the hall. She would tell the swamis and Peter what to
say, and they'd repeat it word for word. I know this is true, because the
first night, I sat up front, right in front of Peter Hayes, and could hear
Gurumayi's voice coming through his earphone. The next night, they turned
down the sound a bit.

The No Ego Course was classic pressure/release techniques. Fire and
brimstone were hurled at us for hour on end. (And even though not everyone
in the course was called on and personally attacked - there were 500+
people in the course - they made it very clear that anyone could be called
on, and read a list of 40 names at the beginning of each night, and said
that any of these people could be called on tonight, plus 5 more people!)
During the entire course, 3 television cameras panned the audience, and
Gurumayi would tell Peter or the swamis that she could see someone trying
to hide, or sleeping, or whatever. The effect was a state of constant
tension and fear. This was the pressure. The stress level gets very high,
and then is released. (To add to the pressure, the music played at the
beginning of the first night was loud, angry, non-SYDA music; some sort of
free form jazz; the following nights, an instrumental version of the Guru
Gita was played before and after.) The release, in this case, came at the
end of each night's session, with the soothing music of the Guru Gita being
played. Everyone was told to go into the temple and offer their egos to
Bade Baba. Everyone was told to offer their egos to Gurumayi. Another
release came the next day, in the other two courses and trainings. You were
so relieved to not be under the gun of personal attack, it was a relief to
sit through them.

By the end of the week, you were exhausted from the tiring schedule: up
each morning at 4, meditate, chai, Guru Gita, rush over to Atma Nidi for
breakfast; rush back to the Main Building for the Traditions course; short
break, then into the CLT morning session; rush back to Atma Nidi for lunch;
rush back to the Main Building for afternoon session of CLT; break for
dinner, and back and forth to Atma Nidi again for that; perhaps a few
minutes for some dish seva in the spare 15 or 20 minutes; then it was time
for The No Ego Course in the Main Building, which ran from 7 until around
12:30-1 a.m.. each night.

The final and most intense pressure, after such a tiring week of ups and
downs, of pressures and releases, came on the last night. A test had been
promised, and they had given us volumes of information in with the brow
beating and personal attacks (lists of types of egos, what the
characteristics of each was; lists of all kinds of things to remember).
There was really no time to study for this test, plus they introduced more
lists of things on that final night. The heat was turned up also in the
personal attacks, and people that didn't want to be called on were again
made fun of and ridiculed as not ready to give their egos to the guru. By
12:30 there had still been no test and they seemed to be wrapping up the
course. Then they announced that there would be no test, and the course
would end with a chant. Those who wished to leave and go sleep could do so,
those who wished to stay should sit quietly and listen to the English
version of the Guru Gita, for remember, the guru takes away our egos,
surrender to the guru. People were in tears listening to this soothing
melody once again, for it had become the theme song of the release from the
pressure, and to actually hear the words, and have them flashed on the
screens up front was a great release. After about 20 minutes, Gurumayi
walked into the hall and to her chair, the canned music stopped and the
live chant began. This was the ultimate release, there she was, the person
we were to release our egos to, here to save us from ourselves with her
love and compassion. (Of course we all overlooked and forgot that she was
the one who was browbeating us for 5 days from the back of the hall, hidden
behind a one way mirror.)

This pressure / release technique is used in many different ways. For
example, the fire and brimstone speeches at Baptist churches, followed by
the introduction of the saving grace of giving yourself to Jesus. There is
actually a chemical reaction happening in your body along with the
emotional roller coaster. The release triggers chemicals that make you feel
like you're being bathed in sweet nectar, covered in love. Siddha Yoga has
learned how to use this technique very well: The Fire Course, The Seva
Course, The No Ego Course. All use pressure/release techniques. Indeed, the
Intensive uses it also to some extent, and the guru is always the release.

Siddha Yoga fosters and promotes a sense of specialness within its ranks,
and indeed the CLT participants were told they were very special indeed. We
were all pretty much separated from everyone else in the ashram, for there
was little time for meeting anyone not in the CLT. We were even given a
special darshan with Gurumayi on the Saturday following the week of
training. We were taught things we couldn't pass on. We were special. And
Gurumayi was pleased with us. So we were happy.

Steering Committee, 1992 to 1994

The specialness that SYDA promotes is two-fold. For one, you are special
because you have a true guru, you are on a true path. But also, within
SYDA, it is made quite clear that some people are indeed more special than
others. People with money are given special treatment and special favors.
Certain sevas are more special than others, and this is reinforced by the
passing of "confidential" information, information that is being given to
you because you can be trusted.

This specialness and secrecy pervades the whole Center Leader/Steering
Committee process. From application through nomination and acceptance, it's
all done in secret. And once you become a CL, or the new term, Steering
Committee member, you are told things that are for your ears only. Mostly
things that don't seem all that secret (like tour schedules, or dates and
times and formats for programs, Intensives, etc.). But also things about
people in the community. You're asked to judge people as harshly and
honestly as possible, as to whether they'll be good for certain "special"
sevas. And especially things about finances are kept pretty quiet. It did
get more open than it used to be; I recall when it was forbidden to even
mention how many people had signed up for or were taking any of the paid
events; and one never talked about how much money was being spent on what,
or how much was being taken in.

As a SC person, you get tons of faxes and letters and phone calls that are
all supposed to be confidential. Most is just routine business, but some
involves personal things about people. I recall being called once late at
night and asked my thoughts on a certain person at the center who'd called
the darshan secretaries a few days before, asking to talk to Gurumayi.
There had been a death in her family and she was distraught. They asked if
I thought it was a good idea to give this person the upcoming Intensive,
could she handle it. The upshot was, she was given the Intensive by
Gurumayi, or more realistically, the Global Communications Office. But I
was to tell her that someone in the center had given it to her, and they
wished to remain anonymous. I was to tell absolutely no one that the
Intensive had been given to her, but the finance people, in their diligence
confronted me on the missing $400, so I had to tell them what was what.
Things like that happened all the time.

The fiasco over our center's Building Fund money was the most trying for me
personally. Our center had been actively seeking a new building for a few
years, and the community had donated well over $300K to that end over those
years. But at one point in the search, Fallsburg had changed the rules, and
had asked to have us send them the money, initially, so that they could
invest it more wisely for us. But eventually, it became clear they had all
along intended to keep the money for their own use. As the leadership at
our local center, and the community began to figure out what was happening,
all hell broke loose. People's basic mistrust of Fallsburg arose, and the
lack of local control or possession of the funds arose. The community
wanted to know specifically what had happened to the money.

The initial transfer of funds from local control to SYDA control occurred
prior to my tenure on the Steering Committee. As I was told, a former
Center Leader, along with the current Finance person had wire transferred
the money directly into SYDA accounts, with no more than a record of the
actual transfer: no signatures, no written agreements as to what the
transfer signified to both parties (technically, two different non-profit
organizations). They had transferred the money on the orders of one of the
swamis of SYDA. The local community, meanwhile, was told that SYDA was
safeguarding our funds, and investing them for us. However, SYDA was
completely unresponsive as to how much money was involved, and as to how
much return was being realized on our investments. Before they stopped
answering questions altogether, we were told we were earning around 1% per
year. It was this admission that prompted the uproar in the community over
the missing funds. That and being told we were no longer to buy a new
building, but to rent another, larger space. It was then obvious to all,
that the large sums of cash already collected were excessive for a new
rental. What was to happen with the excess? So, we took the questions to
Fallsburg.

And Fallsburg was being cagey and unresponsive, but sensing that trouble
was brewing, I was asked to quietly collect a list of all the people in the
center who'd given money over the years; no easy task, as our records were
pretty sloppy. They wanted names, amounts, addresses and phone numbers, and
they wanted it as quickly as possible. They weren't going to do anything
until they had this list. Meanwhile, the community was up in arms, fearing
Fallsburg had stolen our money. I was told not to talk to people, to not
answer my phone and not go to the center if need be. They would handle it.
But they couldn't until they had the list. I spent hours and hours
compiling that thing. I even took time off from work. I felt an allegiance
to the community, but I also felt like I had to obey Fallsburg. I was in
the middle. I couldn't tell people anything. It was very intense. I
couldn't even tell my fellow, unauthorized Steering Committee people. I was
the only trusted one. I wasn't even to tell my Finance people. Of course,
Fallsburg was calling my Finance people and telling them things they
weren't telling me. It was a real mess. (In the end, they never even used
the list, or called anyone, by the way.)

What they came up with, initially, was: the money was dakshina. Everyone
who gave would be asked if they gave it as dakshina (which Fallsburg
interpreted to mean it was given without strings attached, and thus it was
now theirs to do with as they so chose); or was it given for a specific
purpose (i.e., for a new building locally). If this was the case, people
could have their money back. There were no other choices.

For months the battle of semantics raged; Fallsburg even officially changed
the definitions regarding both "dakshina" and "donations" in the process;
changing it back a few months later. We were told (by Fallsburg), that the
situation we found ourselves in was not unique to our center. They said
that there were a few other centers around the world that were in the same
situation of having raised large sums of money to buy a building; and now
the rules were being changed. Thus, the redefinition of the terms
"dakshina" and "donation". In the end, the money remained in SYDA coffers.
A letter was authored by the local Board of Directors, which basically
spelled out the original Fallsburg plan: did you give it as dakshina? If
you did, we'll use it as we see fit. If not, you have 30 days to claim it
back. Over the months of discussions in between, Fallsburg lied, stalled
and made attempts to pacify the masses with pretended concern. It was a
real mess.

Another real mess was over the people we wanted on our Steering Committee,
people that were actually doing the job but hadn't been approved. After
months of stalling, Global finally confessed that none would be approved,
and why; but I wasn't to tell these people anything, just keep it going the
way it was, and send more names. Then they said I could go to the Board of
Directors for advice and when I did, I found they knew about why these
people weren't chosen, because Fallsburg had called them and told them.
Then it got to one of the people who wasn't chosen and she felt that she
was the only one here who didn't know. She blamed me for not telling her,
because Fallsburg denied blame and claimed I'd blackballed her with letters
of complaint about her, and that the letters were why she wasn't chosen.
The so called complaint letters were merely my weekly update faxes to
Global on what was happening here.

I was really only asked to do something illegal once during my tenor on the
SC. By that time, it didn't seem like much, especially since it was
necessary to do Gurumayi's work here. The center was incorporated as a
non-profit corporation in our state. As such, it was required by law to
have a working Board of Directors, and that Board was to meet at least once
a year; the results of that meeting, the minutes, were to be filed yearly
with the state. For years, there had only been a phony board, made up of
people who didn't even know they were on it. Someone would make up minutes,
and those phony minutes would be filed with the state. I made it a project
to legitimize the board. So, I went to Fallsburg for advise on how to do
that. One of their lawyers told me to do so, I would have to falsify papers
of Board transfers and appointments. I was told this was the only way to
get to the ends we desired: a full and legitimate working Board of
Directors. So, I falsified the paperwork.

It seems in SYDA, the unspoken motto is: the end justifies the means. The
end is doing Gurumayi's work. The means is anything and everything,
illegal, immoral, it doesn't matter.

There are many more examples, but I think I will stop here. You get the
idea. Suffice to say, Fallsburg is operating on a different set of rules
than anyone else. Fair play, truth and respect have little to do with how
they operate; or how we are asked to operate. Lies are common. Stories
change with the wind.

I used to think this was just the people around Gurumayi that were doing
this. But I know now that it is coming from the very top; it's the way to
conduct business in SYDA. Gurumayi lies constantly. Lies to take blame away
from herself for anything. Lies to screw with people's heads. Lies for her
own amusement. A friend who once worked for another SYDA person was told by
this person, when she caught her lying to clients, that she was just
preparing her for what it was like to work in Fallsburg at Gurumayi's
ashram. It was the way it was done. Even Gurumayi lied. The implication
being, if Gurumayi lies, it must be ok.

It's not ok. Not for an organization that pretends to be based on love,
respect and truth. For not only isn't SYDA based on love or respect or
truth; it's not based on much of anything. You can't follow the lineage of
masters back even to Nityananda. He never appointed Muktananda, Muktananda
appointed himself. SYDA is a thief. It steals peoples hearts and minds and
money for its own selfish gains. It stole from Nityananda, making a mockery
out of him.

It plays games with law, ethics and morals, especially when it comes to its
dealings with money. Did you know that in order to maintain its tax exempt
status in the state of New York, SYDA bankrolls, does the books, and all
but in name, owns and runs two stores that do business right next to its
property in Sullivan County, New York ? I talked to an ex-SYDA Finance
Office person who used to do the books and receipts for these businesses.
She said SYDA put them in other people's names, but they were definitely
SYDA businesses.

Did you know that SYDA routinely smuggles items into India and into the US
to avoid taxes? I talked to someone who saw a shipment of cheap goods
brought in in black garbage bags, unpacked and put up for sale in the
Bookstore in the South Fallsburg ashram.

And why is everything so expensive? Why are Intensives $400? Courses $75 to
$300? Why are "spiritual items" sold in the bookstores so expensive? Does
it really cost hundreds of dollars for a cheap Indian made shawl? Where is
all the money going that SYDA takes in from the Correspondence Course? Each
month thousands receive their lessons at $100 to $120 a year. Does it
really cost that much to run off a few pages a month and mail it out in
bulk mail? Where does all the money go?

Certainly not into maintaining or paying off the buildings of the South
Fallsburg Ashram! The buildings and land are paid for; they were bought
years ago with cash. The state of the buildings will tell you not much is
put into their upkeep beyond just the bare essentials: mold, lack of fresh
paint, filthiness abound. Sure, the showcase building is kept in better
shape (the Main Building), and expensive looking chandeliers and carpets
abound there. New additions are garish and look expensive also; but none of
this accounts for the millions SYDA takes in monthly. Where does all the
money go?

Why does someone who claims to be a renuncient wear such expensive jewelry,
expensive silk robes; use only expensive gold and silver cups and saucers
and only the finest china plates; travel and live in such an expensive and
extravagant manner? Where does all the money go?

There are too many unanswered questions. Too much is not as it seems. To
stay in SYDA, one must lie to oneself daily about these unanswered
questions. One must ignore one's real lack of spiritual advancement, and
rely on the phony tutored to death "experiences" SYDA says you must be
having.

But to me, knowing that the core truth is a lie, knowing that Gurumayi is
not a Sadguru, not even a realized being, but merely a sick, money hungry
fake, with deep psychological problems; makes it impossible to buy any of
the rest. The traditions and scriptures SYDA coops and attempts to make its
own are true and believable; but not as SYDA presents them. It bastardizes
them and makes them dirty, like SYDA itself is dirty.

The little lies fall apart. The big lie comes crashing down. What is left?
Garish pantheons to someone's huge ego. Immoral and illegal activity. A
charlatan pretending to be a queen.

It is good to step out of the darkness that really is SYDA, into the light
of real truth. And it's good to lose the fear that pervades SYDA, and
really find my own inner strength; to rely on my own strength, rather than
on a false guru's claims of strength. It is good to be free.

Stories
sydafoundation

March 23, 1986

To All Siddha Yoga Devotees:

On November 9, 1985, in Ganeshpuri, India, Swami Nityananda met with the
Board of Trustees of SYDA Foundation and expressed his desire to retire as
one of the spiritual heads of the ashram and one of the Gurus of Siddha
Yoga. Subsequently, on November 10, Nityananda appeared at a public
ceremony and participated in scriptural rites which released him from the
role of Guru and his vows of monkhood, and was given the name Venkateshwar
Rao.

Recently, the SYDA Foundation received a letter from a lawyer claiming to
represent Venkateshwar stating that his client's retirement was involuntary
and advising the Foundation of Venkateshwar's intention to reclaim the
seat. At the same time, Venkateshwar and his brother-in-law made
allegations in the Indian press suggesting that he was drugged,
brainwashed, and forced to retire.

These recent actions by Venkateshwar have left us with no choice but to
disclose the facts surrounding his retirement. To this end I have enclosed:

(1) A message from Gurumayi

(2) A statement from the Swamis

(3) A statement from the Trustees

(4) The recent magazine interview with Venkateshwar

We ask that you please read this information.

Signed,

Sanand Winzeler
Secretary
SYDA Foundation

sydafoundation

     A STATEMENT FROM THE TRUSTEES TO ALL THE DEVOTEES OF SIDDHA YOGA

                "We bow to the Siddha Lineage"

We have received a letter from a lawyer on behalf of Venkateshwar Rao (the
former Swami Nityananda) claiming he was coerced into retiring.

We were present during the days before and after he retired. Before he
announced his decision we had a long meeting with him. We had extensive
discussions about the reason for his decision and about his future plans.
He appeared confident, alert and happy about being relieved of the burdens
he felt in performing his functions as Gurudev Nityananda.

None of us witnessed anything that could have coerced his decision nor that
indicated he felt coerced. Nevertheless, the Trustees have a legal
obligation to respond to his charges in a responsible way. Therefore we
have instructed the Foundation lawyer to interview all persons who may have
information proving or disproving his charges. We hope Venkateshwar will
come out of hiding to be interviewed and recommend other persons to be
interviewed, so that all evidence on which he bases his charges can be
presented to the Board.

Although the Trustees are reserving their decision until Venkateshwar has
had an opportunity to participate, the initial interviews indicate it was
his immoral and unethical behavior which motivated his voluntary decision
to retire. When the Board makes a final decision, it will be communicated
to you in a responsible manner. In the meantime you should know that SYDA
Foundation recognizes Gurumayi Chidvilasananda as the sole spiritual leader
of Siddha Yoga.

                SADGURUNATH MAHARAJ KI JAY

                A STATEMENT FROM THE SWAMIS OF SIDDHA YOGA

A swami's duty is to attain Self-knowledge and to teach that same Truth.
Once he dens his saffron robes, his life is not his own, but God's. This
path is not an easy one -- it's like a razor's edge. Because a swami is so
visible, his actions must be spotless and beyond reproach.

This is not the case with Swami Nityananda, now known as Venkateshwar Rao.
Having publicly renounced the world, he privately embraced it. Ignoring his
duties and the spiritual needs of his devotees, he pursued sense pleasures,
misled seekers, and broke his vows of chastity and obedience time and time
again. In short, he abused his position as a spiritual teacher, betraying
the love and trust of thousands of devotees.

Siddha Yoga has had its share of swamis who put on orange robes and later
put them off. A few of them continue to practice Siddha Yoga and are
welcome in our satsangs. They were honest seekers who found the rigors of
swamihood beyond their strength.

Those swamis who have remained as swamis have found this strength does not
come from any human agency, but from the Shakti of the Guru's grace. When
one upholds the dharma of sannyasa and the teachings of the Siddhas, this
grace supports you in everything you do. Conversely, when you violate this
dharma, the dharma destroys you. This is the greatness of Siddha Yoga. The
power of the lineage is so real it even expels a Guru who does not abide by
his Guru's commands. This is what has happened to Venkateshwar Rao,
formerly Swami Nityananda.

Significantly, since then, swamis in Siddha Yoga, including some of those
who were on Venkateshwar's staff, have recognized Gurumayi Chidvilasananda
as the true Guru of the Siddha lineage and the sole legitimate spiritual
head of Siddha Yoga. We stand behind her and support her every action.

The Swamis

                //OM GURU OM//

         A MESSAGE FROM GURUMAYI TO ALL THE DEVOTEES OF SIDDHA YOGA

                Part I

Ever since creation there has been a constant struggle between the human
will and the Divine will. It seems that life is full of conflict and
passion. Outwardly, some appear to lead a life of luxury and others a life
of poverty. Some appear to live in intellectual glory and others in the
dungeon of ignorance. Some appear to be open and free while others are
closed off from society. Much can be said and written about how life was,
is, and can be. Yet, deep within, it is nothing but a struggle between the
human will and the Divine will.

Human will is commonly defined as free will; whereas, the Divine will is
called destiny. People want to know the purpose of life: What is the goal?
What is one's duty? What is the right way of living? On and on it goes. No
single life has satisfied all minds, all intellects, and all egos, For one,
the goal of life is to amass great wealth. Yet, having obtained it, the
person feels guilty for living a luxurious life. For another, the goal is
to take life as it comes and not to think of the future. Still, there is no
contentment. There is constant worry: "What is going to happen?"

Human will seeks constant change. It thinks that change will bring
happiness and freedom. The child thinks, "When I'm a teenager, I will have
a lot more wisdom and happiness." The teenager thinks, "When I'm an adult,
I will have more freedom." The adult thinks, "As I grow older, I'll gain
more experience in life. I'll know what life is." An elderly person either
yearns for death or wishes he could return to his childhood days.

Although there is constant change in nature, its aim is not to find the
goal of life or freedom. Nature constantly changes for its own joy. Water
becomes ice, and ice becomes water. The wind blows and then becomes still.
The ocean roars and later becomes serene. Fire displays its ferocious wings
and then enfolds them within itself. The earth holds the treasures of the
world, yet remains silent. The ether observes all, yet maintains its
purity. At times, there are drought and famine and at other times excessive
rain. All this is for nature's own greatness, for its own revelations.
Knowing itself, nature is in constant ecstasy with its ever-changing moods.

This is the Divine will. Everything that happens is for its own excellent
being. There is no question of rising or falling. From where do the waves
rise, and where do they fall? There is no question of hidden or apparent.
Where do the flames originate, and where do they return?

So the Divine will continues, with its tumultuous act of endless change. In
every movement there is a smile. In every drop there is a universe. In
every breath of wind there is another creation. The Divine will is the
foundation of all existence. When one battles against this foundation,
one's very life is in jeopardy. Questioning one's existence is valid, but
denying it creates ever-increasing turmoil.

Men of knowledge, knowers of the Truth, have been fascinated by the Divine
will and have called it karma. In his song the great being Surdas said:

O Uddhava, mysterious are the ways of karma. Although the river is small,
its water is sweet. The ocean is vast, yet its water is salty and
undrinkable.

Although the heron has elegant white feathers, what does it do? The cuckoo
has plain black feathers, yet sings so sweetly.

Although the deer has enchanting eyes, it roams aimlessly here and there.

A fool becomes a king, while a scholar wanders about in poverty.

Surdas says, "Although my desire to meet the Lord is intense, I have not
found Him, and every second weighs heavily upon me.

Although yearning for that attainment is absolutely essential, only the
Divine will can grant it. Surdas says that although he wants to meet God,
it still has not become a reality. A man of knowledge recognizes that it is
necessary to call upon the Divine and to accept the Divine will.

Modern geologists realize that there are unseen forces which are shaping
and fashioning the planet Earth. Even though they are putting forth
tremendous effort to detect and measure these great forces, they are too
powerful to come within the grasp of man-made technology. Trying to capture
these subtle forces through machines is like running after a mirage with a
bucket.

This very force is within all of us as well. It is finer than the finest,
yet mightier than the mightiest. As an individual penetrates to the deeper
levels of his own being, he contacts that unseen force which is called the
Divine will. The only way to know the Divine will is for the human will to
unite with it through the grace of the Divine.

In Siddha Yoga the Divine will is called the Guru principle. The literal
meaning of the word Guru is 'heavy." Here, heavy means great, but not the
in the sense of being better than something or someone else. It is the
beginning, middle, and end. It is the all-pervasive force within and
without. Kashmir Shaivism uses the terms vishvatmaka (immanent) and
vishvateeta (transcendent).

When this force or principle is fully awakened within someone through
grace, such a being is worthy of the name Guru. Therefore, the Guru is not
the physical body but the core of his or her being -- the fully awakened
force or Shakti.

The Guru is the focal point of Siddha Yoga. People sometimes wonder to what
extent they should follow their own inclinations and to what extent they
should do what the Guru asks of them. They tend to forget that the realized
Guru lives in the state of sthita prajna, or steady wisdom. There is
complete serenity from the surface to the depths of such a being.

As the Yoga Vasishtha says: "When the mind is at peace, pure, tranquil,
free from delusion, untangled, and free from cravings, it does not long for
anything, neither does it reject anything."

A true Guru is not a toy of his feelings, emotions, or bodily actions. He
exists solely for the upliftment of mankind. One becomes a true Guru as the
result of the accumulated merits and the sadhana of hundreds of lifetimes.
He continues to function as a Guru by fulfilling his Guru's command within
and without. The Guru does not give a command for his own selfish reasons.
It is the Divine will that is at play. It is very difficult for people to
accept this because they are generally bound by their own limited vision of
life.

Another vital factor of Siddha Yoga is the relationship between the Guru
and the disciple. This is the most sublime relationship one can ever have.
My own feelings are expressed by Rumi: "I closed my eyes to creation when I
beheld the Guru's beauty; I became intoxicated with his beauty and gave him
my soul."

When the disciple says, karishye vachanam tava -- "I will do Thy bidding,"
then the Guru makes the disciple like himself, It is a long journey to
reach this kind of surrender. Without this surrender and inner attainment,
however, worldly name and fame amount to nothing.

The will of a Siddha Guru is not different from the Divine will. Baba was
no longer a mere man; he was the embodiment of the Shakti itself. He
carried out his Guru's work and then passed -it on by appointing two
successors. There is a story which will shed some light on Baba's intention
in doing so:

The Lama of the South asked the Great Lama of the North to send a wise and
holy monk to teach the devotees. To everyone's surprise, he sent not one
monk but five. When people asked him why he had done this, he replied, "We
will be lucky if one of them reaches the Lama."

After the five monks had been on the road for some days, a messenger came
running up to them saying, "The priest of our village has died, and we need
someone to replace him."

The village was pleasant and the priest's salary was sizable. One of the
monks thought, "I would not be a good Buddhist if I refused to serve these
people." So he dropped out.

A few days later they reached the royal palace. The king took a liking to
one of the monks and told him, "Stay here, and I will give you my daughter
in marriage. And when I die, you will inherit the kingdom." The monk
thought, "What better way is there to influence people than to be king? I
would not be a good Buddhist if I didn't take this opportunity to spread,
religion." He also dropped out,

One night, as they were crossing a range of mountains, they came upon a
small hut of a beautiful young woman who put them up for the night. Her
parents had been killed by bandits, and she was all alone and frightened.
The next day, one of the monks said, ''I'm going to stay on here. I would
not be a good Buddhist if I didn't take compassion on this girl."

The remaining two monks reached a village and discovered that the
inhabitants had abandoned Buddhism under the influence of a Hindu scholar.
One of the monks said, "I would not be a good Buddhist if I didn't stay
here to win these people back to the faith."

The fifth monk eventually reached the Lama of the South.

As you read this story, the question may arise, "What really happened to
Swami Nityananda, who is now Venkateshwar?" Whose task is it to analyze and
judge the stepping-down of a monk who did not fulfill the requirements of
the seat? Only the monk himself can do so. And who but oneself can obey the
wishes of one's own Guru?

A Siddha Guru, out of his unfathomable compassion, gives people the
opportunity to elevate themselves. He wishes the best, the greatest, and
the highest for everybody. Within he has one thought, one feeling, which is
nothing but the Divine, He infuses this force into everything he comes
across because his being is charged with the power of Divinity.

In Rumi's words:

Wherever you set your foot, O Beloved, tulip and violet and jasmine spring
up.

You breathe upon a piece of clay, and it becomes either a dove or an eagle.

You wash your hands in a dish, and from the water of your hand, the dish
becomes of gold.

Your hem strikes against a thorn, and its clutch becomes a strumming lute.

This is the glory of a Siddha Guru. If a successor does not imbibe the
grace and the divinity of the Guru, it shows that he has much more sadhana
to do. This is the plain truth.

If some individuals drop out, it is not the fault of the Guru, but of the
individuals' lack of merit and misuse of the Shakti. How does one lose
merit? There are many ways; however, in Siddha Yoga it is by failing to
fulfill the will of the Guru.

                Part II

Did Swami Nityananda not fulfill his Guru's will and the needs of the seat?
That is exactly what happened. Baba Muktananda gave him specific
instructions, but Swami Nityananda did not fulfill them. In fact, if you
remember some of his talks, he has openly stated how he lied to Baba.
Though Baba put him on the seat, his way of speaking about his Guru was
condescending and nonchalant. There are times when words do not matter.
However, when the teaching is being imparted, they do.

It has been my fervent intention to give him one opportunity after another.
Nevertheless, this is a hard task when the person has not recognized his
own inner divinity. At one point, Nityananda said, "I don't believe in God
either." If no enlightenment has taken place, how can the bodily senses
know and experience Consciousness every second of the day without falling
prey to sense pleasures?

I specifically chose not to speak about his actions, and I also insisted
that no one else speak about his actions because I wanted him to be able to
maintain his dignity in the eyes of the world, However, due to his
subsequent actions, it has now become necessary to do so.

Just before Baba's samadhi celebration in 1985, Swami Nityananda was asked
to change his ways back to those of a true and perfect Guru by following
Baba's teachings and by living up to Baba's wishes. It seems that he was
too far gone to do so. During the samadhi saptah, a few swamis and other
devotees confronted him with his actions, since my talking to him was no
longer of any use. This triggered a reaction in him, not for the best but
for the worst. He denied all the information regarding his improper
behavior, such as not being a celibate, indulging in sense pleasures, not
respecting spiritual practices, and so on. He said, "If I'm telling lies,
may God punish me."

Lo and behold! Little did he realize what a statement he had made. Be was
sitting on Baba's chair, one on which Baba had sat for many long years in
the Ganeshpuri Ashram. This was the second time he had said this. The first
time was in Oakland in 1983. During his talk he made a similar statement
while denying rumors about himself.

Also, back in 1983 in South Fallsburg he said, "I was reading a magazine in
which they said they didn't like the way a particular spiritual master
lived his life, so they dethroned him. They told him to get out. The board
of directors took over the place, brought in psychotherapists,
communication analysts, and all these different people, so that everything
in the center would go very well. And I told Eddie, 'Why don't you do that
to me also? I'd be very glad to do that.' But he said, 'No, no.' Then he
added, 'I don't want to be in your position.' I'm still waiting to find
that perfect being who will one day dethrone me, and I'll be so happy."

Swami Nityananda became restless and realized it was Baba's will that he
now leave the role of Guru. Not knowing how to face the masses, he decided
to disappear early in the morning of October 24. That morning the yajna was
to begin. He called me and said he was going to flee and get lost because
the swamis did not believe that he was a true Guru. When asked how he felt
as a Guru, he said he was helpless -- he really did not know what to do. I
asked him to think about it, and he called me again in half an hour, saying
that he had made up his mind to run away in the morning.

I said, "You must understand this is a public trust. If you want to give up
your role, you will have to present it to the trustees of Gurudev Siddha
Peeth." He agreed and, at my request, said he would certainly come and say
good-bye to me at 7:00 in the morning.

I sat for meditation early the next morning, and I experienced very
dramatically that if he were to leave that night, he would be leaving Baba
for good and harm would befall him and others. At 5:30 I went to the Guru
Gita chant, which was held in the cave because the saptah was going on.
After the Guru Gita had ended, I called Venkappa, told him the situation,
and asked him to lock all the gates. He replied that Swami Nityananda
already had duplicate keys to all the gates. So I told him, "In that case,
we'll have to do something more drastic; we'll have to slash the tires."

At 7:00 Swami Nityananda came down from his house, went to the samadhi
shrine, and then to Baba's house.

I asked him, "What are you planning to do?"

He replied, "I have decided to leave after the ceremonies are over." In the
meantime, they had slashed the tires of the cars to prevent him from
leaving, since they had not received the information that he had once again
changed his mind.

Because I had told him that he would have to inform the trustees, at 2:00
a.m. he had called the secretary of Gurudev Siddha Peeth, who advised him
to leave after the Punyatithi celebrations were over, since thousands of
devotees had come from all over India and the West.

At 7:30 that morning, I had to go give cloth to the brahmans who were going
to begin the yajna that morning, I asked Swami Nityananda to go upstairs,
saying that I would be with him shortly. Some of the swamis and devotees
wanted to know what he was going to do, so they had come to ask him. His
state was muddled, for he was unable to call on the divine help from
within. After talking for some time, he made it very clear that he did not
have either the willingness or Baba's Shakti to continue as a Guru. When it
was suggested that he accept Swami Chidvilasananda as his spiritual
advisor, he immediately agreed. However, just as he was unable to be Baba's
disciple, he was unable to fulfill this also. The possibility of dethroning
him was never discussed; that was not in anyone's mind.

He himself did not want to return to his apartment for the time being. He
was afraid that if he was around his disciples he would fall into the same
delusion of Guruhood, when he could no longer function as a Guru. I said it
would be all right for him to stay in Baba's study room and to contemplate
what he lacked and why he had lost what he thought he had had.

This is how it all began. When he still could not come to any final
conclusions about what he should do, on the final day of Baba's samadhi
celebrations at the Yajna Mandap he announced that he would observe silence
for a year.

The crux of the matter is that it was obviously impossible for him to
fulfill the role of a Sadguru in spite of the fact that he was in that
position. In 1983 when he was in Paris and I was in Australia, he told me
on the phone, "I resign from Guruhood. I don't want to be a Guru."

I replied, "Watch what you say. The Shakti is ever alive. I don't want to
hear that again because Baba's action is impeccable."

He moaned and groaned and that was that for the time being.

Many, many times the fact arose that he was struggling with being a Guru.
He talked about taking a year off and living in solitude in Hawaii (not a
bad place) or just keeping to himself.

After his Australian tour in 1984, he could no longer teach Siddha Yoga in
its purity, so he decided to stay in Ganeshpuri and work on himself. Of
course, what he did was to work on having a huge house built for himself.
Even during that time, when people were breaking their backs building his
house, he went to Jaipur for five days and to Germany for two weeks to
relax.

At this time I was in Los Angeles in April 1985. When he called me on the
phone, I asked him, "How hard have you worked so that you feel the need to
relax for two weeks?" When asked, "What do you do all day long?" he
replied, "I drive around." (Not a bad life for this Guru!)

The final stroke occurred when he came to South Fallsburg in mid-June 1985.
I was in Montreal at the time. Over the telephone he said, "Gurumayi, I'm
having problems with my Guruhood. I need to talk to you. I don't think I
can go on like this."

It was 12:30 a.m., and I had just come back from the program. I asked him
to go ahead and speak about it but he said, no, he would wait until I came
to Fallsburg. When I arrived, it was becoming crystal clear that he had
gone off the deep end. He confessed that he did not understand the mind and
death, and he talked for two hours about his situation. My heart ached for
him.

I sincerely prayed to Baba and to God to bestow their infinite compassion
on this fellow that Baba had chosen to continue his work. Although it
seemed there was a lot of grace, Swami Nityananda had become impervious to
it. I understood that his sins were too numerous, and unless he burned them
off, his life was going to be very difficult. All that can be said is that
even though Baba infused the Shakti into a golden vessel, due to the abuse
of that Shakti, the vessel no longer remained pure gold.

Nevertheless, he did not apply himself to washing away all the rust he had
accumulated, so by the time he went to India he could hardly stay in
Gurudev Siddha Peeth. He went away to Lonawala to relax and have a good
time while everyone else was busy preparing for Baba's upcoming samadhi
celebrations.

During this period when he was to observe silence, his restlessness only
increased. I told him that if he confessed all his actions, perhaps he
would get them off his chest and could think clearly again. Because it was
very difficult for him to open up and reveal everything to me, once again
the help of the swamis and devotees was taken to enable him to bring out
all the things he had done and to see them clearly. During that time, it
became quite obvious that he would not be able to sit on the throne again.
He himself kept repeating that he would rather not be in that role. At his
request, with the approval of the swamis and devotees and with my
permission, on November 3 he announced his retirement. It was made at the
end of the Hindi Intensive as well as the English Intensive. Of course, the
announcement came as a heavy blow.

Since nothing in Siddha Yoga happens without Baba's will, Swami Nityananda
also felt that it was totally Baba's will that he retire. In fact,
throughout his period of solitude in Baba's house, he repeated that he knew
one day this would happen to him. In the back of his mind there was always
the apprehension that he would have to give up the throne, and he knew that
women in particular would be his downfall.

Swami Nityananda wanted to step down as smoothly as possible, and it was
also my strong feeling that it should be done quite honorably. The
Mahamandaleshwar was invited to come and Swami Nityananda spoke with him
for quite a long time. Swami Nityananda basically said that he felt it was
Baba's will that he step down after three years. He insisted on renouncing
his orange clothes of sannyasa so that in the future people would not
identify him with the role of Guru that he had played. His thinking was
quite proper in this respect. The Mahamandaleshwar gave him a letter
stating that he had absolved him of all the sannyasa vows, and then he went
through religious ceremonies performed by Bhau Shastri, the Ashram priest.
He did not want to go back to his old name Subhash. He wanted to start a
new life, so he was given the name Venkateshwar Rao.

Finally, on November 10 he gave his official declaration. Although some
people have claimed that his declaration was written by someone else, we
have kept his handwritten papers on which he wrote, scratched out, and
rewrote his message.

Afterwards, he returned to his room in Nityeshwar, where he was no longer
in solitude. Be walked around the gardens, met people, and went to Amrit.
People also went to his room, and he came outside and sat among swamis
during darshan.

During this whole period, he was still thinking about what he was going to
do. Be tossed various ideas back and forth. He wanted to become a
businessman, and he had several projects in his mind. He also thought about
just staying in Ganeshpuri for awhile, or studying Sanskrit for six years.
He had so many ideas, but none really appealed to him.

In the meantime, he did not stop seeing women. When the different women
with whom he had had physical relationships began to compare notes, they
became angry. Finally, on the night of November 24, two weeks after he
retired, I picked up what Baba used to call his "Chota Guru." It is a small
walking stick he used to slap people who would otherwise not wake up from
the delusion torturing them. In my presence, he received a few slaps with
it from the women he had abused. He offered no resistance because he knew
this was not a punishment; but was rather to wake him up from his fantasy
world. Nevertheless, it was obvious that none of it really entered him;
even a few slaps from me did not make him budge. In fact, he himself said
that nothing was making a dent in him. It was quite disappointing. One of
the swamis became frustrated and had to be restrained by George Afif.

In Ganeshpuri, Baba once said, "Sins are sins, but among sins there is one
called the thunderbolt sin, which sticks to you and is very hard to get rid
of. What is that sin?"

People gave various answers, listing all the different things that we
ordinarily classify as sins. Baba replied, "These sins are very ordinary.
Sins that are committed in other places are washed away in an ashram or a
holy place, but sins which are committed in a holy place stick to you like
a thunderbolt."

Venkateshwar and I talked again on the night of November 25. When I went to
his room, he was reading Time Magazine and, to my surprise, showed no trace
of repentance whatsoever. As we just casually talked, he spoke about how he
was not in touch with his feelings. We talked about how perhaps he would
need a little break before launching into a household life.

On the telephone I asked him to be smart, get on the Diane, and come back
to Hawaii to talk about what he was running away from and what he wanted to
do. After that I told him that both of us should go to India to clear up
this mess that his family and brother-in-law Santosh had created. First he
would agree; then he would call back and say he was afraid and that he had
decided not to go. I continually made it clear that I was always available
for him to come and talk to me at any time.

Later on I went to Oakland, Mexico, and then to Miami. It was in Miami that
I came to learn that he wanted to get back on the throne and become a Guru
again. He had gone to India for six days and had given an interview to the
Illustrated Weekly. When I read it, I was amazed at the delusion one's mind
can continually concoct.

I am certain that there are people who still love and miss the form of
Swami Nityananda. The problem is that this devotion is not going to be
liberating. The time has come for each one to re-evaluate his or her own
dharma in this world. Without this self-inquiry, one will be swept away by
the allegations of the media.

I pray that Venkateshwar Rao may somehow stop being influenced by whoever
is around him, that he can find the courage within himself to lead a
dharmic life, and that he may do something which will remove the
embarrassment which he has inflicted on spiritual seekers and Siddha Yoga
devotees.

I do not know what is impelling him now to sacrifice his forthcoming
marriage, claiming it was just a rumor, and to attempt a comeback as a
Guru, saying that he was abducted and coerced. God forbid! He was neither
drugged, kidnapped, nor coerced. When he was confronted with his actions,
the Shakti did its work.

Siddha Yoga has undergone many changes in recent years: Baba took samadhi,
and then Swami Nityananda stepped down. This is and can only be the Divine
will. It is another amazing transformation.

The life of a Guru is a solitary path. When the Guru receives praises and
glory from people, he simultaneously has to re-offer them to his own Guru,
who has merged into God.

You must have compassion on yourself and other seekers. In Siddha Yoga it
is important to respect the fact that when you do not live by the will of
the Divine, of the Shakti, you are automatically put in another position in
which to do your sadhana. The power of the seat is such that if it is
abused in any way, it will not allow a person to continue sitting on it.

Nature does not panic when it undergoes change. It does not wonder, "What
will the billions of people on this earth say if I create a raging storm?
What will they say if there is a deluge? What will they say if fires blaze
or if the earth quakes violently?"

A Siddha Guru sacrifices his entire being to the Divine will. For him,
there is no other goal than the Divine, there is no other life than the
Divine, and there is no other death than merging into the divine.

Baba was perfect, is perfect, and will always be perfect. His will is the
will of the Truth. Anything other than the Truth will ultimately be
uprooted. It seems that for one person's actions, somebody else must pay.
This is how it appears. Nevertheless, when the human will is united with
the Divine will, no matter how many ups-and-downs and heartrending
incidents take place, only light, love, and the truth can remain.

Your own, Swami Chidvilasananda


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http://www.oaklandsyda.org/siddhayoga/glossary.html

Glossary

This glossary is protected by copyright as the intellectual property of the SYDA Foundation and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without prior written permission of the SYDA Foundation. For more information or to request permission, please e-mail intellectualproperty@syda.org.
Glossary Of Siddha Yoga Terminology

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z



ABHANGA:

A devotional song composed in the Marathi language expressing the longing and love of a devotee for God.

ABHISHEK:
A ritual bathing offered as worship (puja) to a statue, sandals (padukas), or another representation of a deity. The ritual bath is traditionally composed of five forms of nectar (panchamrita): milk, honey, yogurt, clarified butter (ghee), and sugar. These are followed by warm water and fragrant oil. After the bathing, offerings such as fruits and flowers are made to the deity..

ABSOLUTE:
The highest Reality; supreme Consciousness; the pure, untainted, changeless Truth.

AMRIT:
1) The nectar of immortality; the divine nectar that flows down from the sahasrara when the Kundalini is awakened. 2) An area in Siddha Yoga meditation ashrams and centers where refreshments can be purchased.

ANNAPURNA:
(lit., filled with nourishment) 1) The great Shakti depicted as the goddess of nourishment and abundance. 2) The dining halls in both the Shree Muktananda Ashram in South Fallsburg, New York, and Gurudev Siddha Peeth in Ganeshpuri, India.

ANUKAMPA:
A Sanskrit word meaning benevolence, grace, and compassion. It connotes the compassionate vibrations of the heart.

ARATI:
1) A ritual act of worship during which a flame, symbolic of the individual soul, is waved before the form of a deity, sacred being, or image that embodies the light of Consciousness. 2) The name of the morning and evening prayer that is sung with the waving of lights, in honor of Bhagavan Nityananda, twice each day in Siddha Yoga ashrams.

ARJUNA:
One of the heroes of the Indian epic Mahabharata, considered to be the greatest warrior of all. He was the friend and devotee of Lord Krishna, who revealed the teachings of the Bhagavad Gita to him on the battlefield.

ASANA:
1) A hatha yoga posture practiced to strengthen and purify the body and develop one-pointedness of mind. 2) A seat or mat on which one sits for meditation.

ASHRAM:
The dwelling place of a Guru or saint; a monastic retreat site where seekers engage in spiritual practices and study the sacred teachings of yoga.

ASHRAM DHARMA:
Right action in relation to ashram life; the inner posture and outer behavior that allow a person to devote himself or herself to the high attitude and disciplines of ashram life. There is also a book on this topic by Swami Muktananda. See also DHARMA and GURUKULA.

ATMAN:
Divine Consciousness residing in the individual; the supreme Self; the soul.

AUSTERITIES:
1) Rigorous spiritual practices. 2) Abandonment of the pursuit of worldly pleasure for the purpose of spiritual attainment.

AVADHUTA:
An enlightened being who lives in a state beyond body-consciousness and whose behavior is not bound by ordinary social conventions.

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BABA:
A term of affection and respect for a saint or holy man.

BADE BABA:
(lit., elder father) An affectionate name for Bhagavan Nityananda, Swami Muktananda's Guru.

BHAGAVAD GITA:
(lit., song of God) One of the world's spiritual treasures and an essential scripture of India; a portion of the Mahabharata in which Lord Krishna instructs his disciple Arjuna on the nature the universe, God, and the supreme Self.

Bhagavan:
(lit., the Lord) One endowed with the six attributes or powers of infinity: spiritual power, righteousness, glory, splendor, knowledge, and renunciation. A term of great honor. Swami Muktananda's Guru is known as Bhagavan Nityananda.

BHAJAN:
A Hindi devotional song in praise of God.

BHAKTA:
A devotee, a lover of God; a follower of bhakti yoga, the path of love and devotion.

BHAKTI:
The path of devotion; a path to union with the Divine based on the continual offering of love and the constant remembrance of the Lord.

BHASMA:
Ash from a sacred fire ritual (yajna), charged with the power of mantra. Bhasma is used to draw three horizontal stripes on the forehead and other parts of the body, representing the three qualities of nature reduced to ash by spiritual practices and the power of grace

BINDI:
A red dot worn between the eyebrows marking the location of the third eye, the eye of inner vision or spiritual wisdom.

BLUE PEARL:
A brilliant blue light, the size of a tiny seed, that appears in meditation; it is the subtle abode of the inner Self.

BRAHMA:
The absolute Reality manifested as the active creator of the universe, personified as one of the three gods of the Hindu trinity. The other two are Vishnu, who represents the principle of sustenance, and Shiva, who represents the principle of destruction.

BRAHMAN:
In Vedic philosophy, the absolute Reality or all-pervasive supreme Principle of the universe.

BRAHMIN:
A caste of Hindu society whose members are by tradition priests and scholars.
 

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CHAITANYA:

1) The fundamental, all-pervasive, divine Consciousness. 2) When used in refrence to a mantra, chaitanya means that the mantra is enlivened with grace and thus has the capacity to draw one's mind spontaneously into meditative stillness.

CHAKRA:
A center of energy located in the subtle body where the subtle nerve channels converge like the spokes of a wheel. Six major chakras lie within the central channel. When awakened, kundalini shakti flows upward from the base of the spine through these six centers to the seventh chakra, the sahasrara, at the crown of the head.
CHIDVILASANANDA:
Swami Chidvilasananda, the current Siddha Guru and head of the Siddha lineage. Her name literally means the bliss of the play of Consciousness and was given to her by Swami Muktananda when she took the vows of monkhood in 1982.

CHITI:
The power of universal Consciousness; the creative aspect of God.

CONSCIOUSNESS:
The intelligent, supremely independent, divine Energy, which creates, pervades, and supports the entire universe.

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DAKSHIN KASHI:
(lit., south field) A beautiful, twenty-five-acre field in Gurudev Siddha Peeth, the Siddha Yoga Ashram near Ganeshpuri, India. The field is ringed by a tree-lined path, which is used for walking contemplation.

DAKSHINA:
An offering or gift to God or the Guru. Traditionally, when one seeks the teachings or blessings of a saint, one brings an offering; this act of giving invites grace. The practice of giving dakshina is an expression of gratitude and love for what has been received on the spiritual path.

DARSHAN:
Seeing or being in the presence of a saint, a deity, or a sacred place.

DEVA:
A deity or god.

DEVI:
The great mother Goddess; the beloved of Shiva who represents Shakti, or cosmic energy.

DHARANA:
A centering technique; a spiritual exercise that leads one to the experience of God within.

DHARMA:
Essential duty; the law of righteousness; living in accordance with the divine will. The highest dharma is to recognize the Truth in one's own heart.

DIKSHA:
Yogic initiation; spiritual awakening of a disciple by the grace of the Master.

DISCIPLE:
One who has received initiation from a spiritual master and then follows the path shown by the master.

DIVYA DIKSHA:
The bestowal of divine initiation, shaktipat.

DIWALI:
A four-day festival, falling in October-November, celebrated by displaying lights and worshiping Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth and prosperity.

DRISHTI:
Vision, usually in the context of seeing with the outlook of God.

DURGA:
The fierce aspect of the universal Shakti or divine Mother, who destroys limitations and evil tendencies. She is often depicted as the eight-armed warrior goddess who rides a tiger and carries weapons.

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EGO:
In yoga, the limited sense of "I" that is identified with the body, mind, and senses; sometimes described as "the veil of suffering."

ENLIGHTENMENT:
The final attainment on the spiritual path, when the limited sense of "I" merges into supreme Consciousness.

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GANESH:
The elephant-headed god, also known as Ganapati. Son of Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvati, he is worshiped at the beginning of any undertaking and in many festivals as the god of wisdom, the destroyer of sorrows, and the remover of obstacles.

GRACE:
The infinite power of divine love that creates, maintains, and pervades the universe. When awakened within a seeker by a Siddha Guru, this power leads the seeker to Self-realization.

GUNAS:
The three basic qualities of nature that determine the inherent characteristics of all created things. They are sattva (purity, light, harmony, intelligence); rajas (activity, passion); and tamas (dullness, inertia, ignorance).

GURU:
A spiritual master who has attained oneness with God and who is able both to initiate seekers and to guide them on the spiritual path to liberation. A true Guru is required to be learned in the scriptures and must belong to a lineage of masters..

GURU CHOWK:
The open-air meditation hall adjoining the courtyard in Shree Gurudev Siddha Peeth, the Siddha Yoga Ashram in Ganeshpuri, India.

GURU GITA:
(lit., song of the Guru) A sacred text consisting of mantras that describe the nature of the Guru, the Guru-disciple relationship, and techniques of meditation on the Guru. In Siddha Yoga ashrams, the Guru Gita is chanted every morning.

GURU PRINCIPLE:
The universal power of grace present as the inner Self of all beings.
 
 

GURU'S FEET:
The Indian scriptures revere the Guru's feet, which are said to embody Shiva and Shakti, knowledge and action, the emission and reabsorption of creation. Powerful vibrations of shakti flow from the Guru's feet. They are a mystical source of grace and illumination, and a figurative term for the Guru's teachings.

GURU'S SANDALS:
The Indian scriptures revere the Guru's feet, which are said to embody Shiva and Shakti, knowledge and action, the emission and reabsorption of creation. Powerful vibrations of shakti flow from the Guru's feet. They are a mystical source of grace and illumination, and a figurative term for the Guru's teachings.

GURUKULA:
In Vedic times, spiritual aspirants would serve the Guru at his house or ashram for a period of time, studying the scriptures, and practicing self-inquiry and other spiritual disciplines under the guidance of the Master. Siddha Yoga ashrams are modeled on these Gurukulas of old.

GURUMAYI:
The affectionate name for Swami Chidvilasananda by which she is most often called. She received the power and authority of the Siddha Yoga lineage from Swami Muktananda before he passed away in 1982 and is the current Siddha Guru and head of the Siddha lineage.

GURUPURNIMA:
In India, the full moon of the month of Ashada (July-August) is honored as the most auspicious and important of the entire year. This moon's luminous brilliance and perfect form are seen as expressions of the Guru's gift of grace and the attainment of Self-realization.
 

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HANUMAN:
A huge, white monkey, son of the Wind, and one of the heroes of the Ramayana. Hanuman's unparalleled strength was exceeded only by his perfect devotion to Lord Rama, for whom he performed many acts of magic and daring.

HATHA YOGA:
Yogic practices, both physical and mental, performed for the purpose of purifying and strengthening the physical and subtle bodies.

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INNER ENEMIES:
The inner enemies spoken about in Vedanta: desire, anger, delusion, pride, greed, and envy.

INTENSIVE:
The primary Siddha Yoga meditation program, which was designed by Swami Muktananda to give spiritual initiation by awakening the kundalini energy.

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JAGADGURU:
A world teacher; a great Guru.

JAPA:
Repetition of a mantra, either silently or aloud.

JNANA:
True knowledge.

JNANESHWAR MAHARAJ:
(1275-1296) Foremost among the saints of Maharashtra and a child yogi of extraordinary powers. His verse commentary on the Bhagavad Gita, the Jnaneshvari, written in the Marathi language, is acknowledged as one of the world's most important spiritual works. He also composed a short work, the Amritanubhava, and over one hundred abhangas, or devotional songs in Marathi, in which he describes various spiritual experiences following the awakening of kundalini.

JYOTA SE JYOTA:
A chant; an invocation to the Guru asking for the flame of divine love in the disciple's heart to be kindled with the Guru's own heart flame.

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KARMA:
(lit., action) 1) Any action--physical, verbal, or mental. 2) Destiny, which is caused by past actions, mainly those of previous lives.

KASHMIR SHAIVISM:
A branch of the Shaivite philosophical tradition, propounded by Kashmiri sages, that explains how the formless supreme Principle, known as Shiva, manifests as the universe. Together with Vedanta, Kashmir Shaivism provides the basic scriptural context for Siddha Yoga meditation.

KRISHNA:
(lit., the dark one) The eighth incarnation of Lord Vishnu. The spiritual teachings of Lord Krishna, called "the dark one" because his skin was deep blue, are contained in the Bhagavad Gita, a portion of the epic Mahabharata.

KRIYA:
A physical, mental, or emotional movement initiated by the awakened kundalini. Kriyas purify the body and nervous system, thus allowing a seeker to experience higher states of consciousness.

KUNDALINI:
(lit., coiled one) The primordial Shakti, or cosmic energy, that lies dormant in a coiled form in the muladhara chakra at the base of the spine. Through the descent of grace (shaktipat), this extremely subtle force, also described as the supreme goddess, is awakened and begins to purify the entire being. As Kundalini travels upward through the central channel, She pierces the various chakras, finally reaching the sahasrara at the crown of the head. There, the individual soul merges into the supreme Self and attains the state of Self-realization. See also CHAKRA, SHAKTIPAT.

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LIBERATION:
Freedom from the cycle of birth and death; the state of realization of oneness with the Absolute.

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MAHABHARATA:
An epic poem that recounts the struggle between the Kauravas and Pandavas over the disputed kingdom of Bharata, the ancient name for India. Within this vast narrative is contained a wealth of Indian secular and religious lore. The Bhagavad Gita occurs in the latter portion of the Mahabharata.

MAHARASHTRA:
A state on the west coast of central India, where Gurudev Siddha Peeth, the mother ashram of Siddha Yoga meditation, is located. Many of the great poet-saints lived in Maharashtra and the Samadhi Shrines of Bhagavan Nityananda and Swami Muktananda are there.

MAHASAMADHI:
1) A realized yogi's conscious departure from the physical body at death. 2) A celebration on the anniversary of a great being's departure from the physical body. 3) A shrine erected at the place where a yogi has taken mahasamadhi.

MALA:
A string of beads used to facilitate a state of concentration while repeating a mantra.

MANTRA:
The names of God; sacred words or divine sounds invested with the power to protect, purify, and transform the individual who repeats them. A mantra received from an enlightened Master is filled with the power of the Master's attainment.

MAYA:
The power that veils and obscures the true nature of the Self and creates a sense of differentiation. It makes the universal Consciousness, which is One, appear as duality and multiplicity.

MUKTANANDA:
Swami Muktananda (1908 - 1982) who brought the Siddha Yoga teachings and practices to the west in the 1970s on his Guru's behalf. He is Gurumayi Chidvilasananda's Guru and often referred to as Baba. He brought the venerable tradition of his master's lineage to the West, giving the previously little-known shaktipat initiation to untold thousands of spiritual seekers. His name literally means the bliss of liberation.


MUKTI:
Liberation from the cycle of birth and death; freedom from the sense of duality and limitation.

MURTI:
(lit., embodiment; figure; image) A representation of God or of a chosen deity that has been sanctified and enlivened by worship. A murti can be a symbolic embodiment of the presence of God or a recognizable human figure, as in the image of a saint.

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NADA:
Spontaneous inner sounds that may be heard during advanced stages of meditation; nada may take the form of sounds such as bells, the blowing of a conch, and thunder.

NADI:
A channel in the subtle body through which the vital force flows.

NAMA SANKIRTANA:
Group chanting of the name of the Lord.

NATARAJ:
(lit., king of the dance) A name of Shiva, referring to the dancing Shiva. The object of his dance is to free all souls from the fetters of illusion.

NAVARATRI:
(lit., nine nights) A festival celebrating the worship of the divine Mother, Shakti, in the three forms of Durga/Kali, Lakshmi, and Saraswati. It begins with the new moon of September-October and continues for nine nights.

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OM:
The primal sound form which the universe emanates; the inner essence of all mantras. Also written aum.

OM NAMAH SHIVAYA:
(lit., Om, salutations to Shiva) The Sanskrit mantra of the Siddha Yoga lineage; known as the great redeeming mantra because of its power to grant both worldly fulfillment and spiritual realization. Om is the primordial sound; Namah is to honor or bow to; Shivaya denotes divine Consciousness, the Lord who dwells in every heart.

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PADUKAS:
The Guru's sandals, objects of the highest veneration. Vibrations of the inner shakti flow out from the Guru's feet, which are a mystical source of grace and illumination and a figurative term for the Guru's teachings. The Guru's sandals are also said to hold this divine energy of enlightenment.

PRADAKSHINA:
The act of worshipful circumambulation (walking clockwise around a holy temple, shrine, or place).

PRANA:
The vital life-sustaining force of both the body and the universe.

PRANAM:
To bow; to greet with respect.

PRASAD:
A blessed or divine gift from God or the Guru.

PUJA:
Worship; actions performed in worship; also, an altar with images of the Guru or deity and objects used in worship.

PUNYATITHI:
The anniversary of a great being's death.

PURNAHUTI:
(lit., full or complete offering) The culmination of any celebration, especially a saptah or a yajna. The final chant of a purnahuti is an arati, an invocation to the Guru entreating him to kindle the flame of divine love in the disciple's heart. Tradition states that to attend a purnahuti is to gain the merit of the entire celebration.

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RAGA:
In Indian music, a series of five or more notes upon which a melody is based; a particular melody. Ragas evoke particular moods in the listener and are often performed to resonate with a season or time of day.

RAKHI DAY:
This festival has its origins in an ancient folk custom: sisters affectionately tie a rakhi, or bracelet, on the wrists of their brothers who, in turn, promise always to protect them. To celebrate this day, many Siddha Yoga meditation students offer each other rakhis, representing a bond of love and protection.

RAM:
(lit., one who is pleasing, delightful) The seventh incarnation of Lord Vishnu, Rama is seen as the embodiment of dharma and is the object of great devotion. He is the central character in the Indian epic Ramayana.

RAMA:
(lit., one who is pleasing, delightful) The seventh incarnation of Lord Vishnu, Rama is seen as the embodiment of dharma and is the object of great devotion. He is the central character in the Indian epic Ramayana.

RAMAYANA:
One of the great epic poems of India; attributed to the sage Valmiki, the Ramayana recounts the life and exploits of Lord Rama. This story, so rich with spiritual meaning, has been told and retold down through the ages by saints, poets, scholars, and common folk.

RANGOLI:
A design, usually geometric, drawn on the ground in front of a house or other dwelling in the colors of the morning sun, to represent inner awakening.

RASA:
1) Flavor, taste. 2) A subtle energy of richness, sweetness, and delight.

RIG VEDA:
The oldest of the four Vedas; it is composed of more than one thousand hymns, including those that invoke the gods of the fire ritual. See also VEDAS .


RUDRA:
The Lord as destroyer, a form of Lord Shiva. As the fierce aspect of God, Rudra inspires both great love and great fear among his worshipers.

RUDRAKSHA:
Seeds from a tree sacred to Shiva, often strung as beads for malas. Legend has it that the rudraksha seed was created from the tears of Lord Rudra, thus endowing it with great spiritual power.

RUDRAM:
A text chant from the Krishna Yajur Veda in which Lord Shiva is offered repeated salutations in his many manifestations; the first of these to be honored is Rudra.

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SADGURU:
A true Guru; divine Master.

SADGURUNATH MAHARAJ KI JAY:
A Hindi phrase that means "I hail the Master who has revealed the Truth to me!" An exalted, joyful expression of gratitude to the Guru for all that has been received, often repeated at the beginning or end of an action.

SADHANA:
1) A spiritual discipline or path. 2) Practices, both physical and mental, on the spiritual path.

SAHASRARA:
The thousand-petaled spiritual energy center at the crown of the head, where one experiences the highest states of consciousness.

SAMADHI:
The state of meditative union with the Absolute; the state of final absorption in God.

SAMADHI SHRINE:
The final resting place of a great yogi's body. Such shrines are places of worship: permeated with the saint's spiritual power, and alive with blessings.

SANKALPA:
Thought, intention, or will directed toward a specific outcome.

SANNYASA:
1) Monkhood. 2) The ceremony and vows of monkhood.

SAPTAH:
(lit., seven) A term introduced by Swami Muktananda to refer to the continuous chanting of the name of God, which also may be accompanied by dancing in a circle in a series of measured steps as an act of devotion and a joyful experience of meditation in motion. Saptahs were often held in the ashram for seven days at a time.

SATSANG:
(lit., the company of the Truth) The company of saints and devotees; a gathering of seekers for the purpose of chanting, meditation, and listening to scriptural teachings or readings.

SELF:
Divine Consciousness residing in the individual, described as the witness of the mind or the pure I-awareness.

SELF-REALIZATION:
The state of enlightenment in which the individual merges with pure Consciousness.

SEVA:
(lit., service) Selfless service; work offered to God, performed without attachment and with the attitude that one is not the doer. In Siddha Yoga ashrams, Guruseva is a spiritual practice, and students seek to perform all of their tasks in this spirit of selfless offering.

SEVITE:
One who performs seva.

SHAKTI:
Spiritual power; the divine cosmic power that creates and maintains the universe; may be defined as the goddess Shakti.

SHAKTIPAT:
(lit., descent of grace) Yogic initiation in which the Siddha Guru transmits spiritual energy to the aspirant, thereby awakening the aspirant's dormant kundalini shakti.

SHAMBHAVI MUDRA:
(lit., state of supreme Shiva) A state of spontaneous or effortless meditation, in which the eyes become focused within and the mind delights in the inner Slef without any attempt at concentration.

SHIVA:
The all-pervasive supreme Reality; also, one of the Hindu trinity of gods, who carries out the act of destruction or dissolution.

SHIVARATRI:
(lit., night of Shiva) The night of the new moon in late February that is especially sacred to Lord Shiva. Devotees repeat the mantra Om Namah Shivaya throughout the night; on this night each repetition is said to equal the merit of a thousand repetitions.

SHRI:
1) A term or respect that means sacredness, abundance, beauty, grace, and auspiciousness, and signifies mastery of all these. 2) Lakshmi, the goddess of beauty and prosperity.

SIDDHA:
A perfected yogi; one whose experience of unity-consciousness is uninterrupted.

SIDDHA GURU:
One who has attained the state of enlightenment and who has the capacity to awaken the dormant spiritual energy of a disciple and guide him or her to the state of the Truth.

SIDDHA MASTER:
One who has attained the state of enlightenment and who has the capacity to awaken the dormant spiritual energy of a disciple and guide him or her to the state of the Truth.

SPIRITUAL PRACTICES:
Activities that purify and strengthen the mind and body for the spiritual path. Siddha Yoga practices include chanting, meditation, mantra repetition, hatha yoga, seva (selfless service), and contemplation.

SUBTLE BODY:
The second of four bodies within a human being (the physical, subtle, causal, and supracausal bodies), which is experienced in the dream state.

SUSHUMNA:
The most important of all the nadis; the central channel, which extends from the base of the spine to the crown of the head. It is the pathway of the awakened kundalini.

SUTRA:
Aphorism; a condensed and cryptic statement that usually can be understood only through commentary. In India, the major points of an entire philosophical system may be expressed in a series of sutras.

SWADHYAYA:
The study of the Self; the regular disciplined practice of chanting and reciting spiritual texts such as the Guru Gita .

SWAMI:
A term of respectful address for a sannyasi, or monk.

SWAMIJI:
A term of respectful address for a sannyasi, or monk.

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TANDRA:
The state of higher consciousness between sleeping and waking that is experienced in meditation.

TAPASYA:
1) Austerities. 2) The experience of heat that occurs during the process of practicing yoga. The heat is generated by friction between the senses and renunciation. It is said that this heat, called "the fire of yoga," burns up all the impurities that lie between the seeker and the experience of the Truth.

TATTVAS:
In Kashmir Shaivism, the basic categories or principles of the process of universal manifestation from pure Consciousness to matter; that which is the essence of each stage of manifestation.

TEMPLE:
Swami Muktananda has dedicated a temple of meditation to his Guru, Bhagavan Nityananda Temple in both Shree Muktananda Ashram and Gurudev Siddha Peeth.

THE NAME:
A name of God. Silent repetition or audible chanting of the divine Name is considered to be the most effective means of redemption in Kali Yuga, the present age. Chanting and japa open the heart to the love and joy contained within it.

TURIYA:
The fourth, or transcendental state, beyond the waking, dream, and deep-sleep states, in which the true nature of reality is directly perceived; the state of samadhi, or deep meditation.

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UPANISHADS:
The inspired teachings, visions, and mystical experiences of the ancient sages of India; the concluding portion of the Vedas and the basis for Vedantic philosophy. With immense variety of form and style, all of these scriptures (exceeding one hundred texts) give the same essential teaching: that the individual soul and God are one.

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VAIRAGYA:
Dispassion; the power of renunciation by which a yogi is able to pursue the true rather than the false, the eternal rather than the ephemeral.

VEDAS:
Among the most ancient, revered, and sacred of the world's scriptures, the four Vedas are regarded as divinely revealed, eternal wisdom. They are the Rig Veda , Atharva Veda, Sama Veda, and Yajur Veda.

VISHNU:
1) A name for the all-pervasive, supreme Reality. 2) One of the Hindu trinity of gods, representing God as the sustainer of the universe. Rama and Krishna are the best known of His incarnations.

VIVEKA:
(lit., discrimination; distinction) The faculty of discretion that enables a human being to distinguish between true and false, reality and illusion.

VRITTI:
Fluctuation or movement of the mind; thought.



WITNESS:
The transcendental Consciousness that lies at the root of the mind and from which the mind can be observed.

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YAJNA:
1) A sacrificial fire ritual in which Vedic mantras are recited while wood, fruit, grain, oil, yogurt, and ghee are poured into the fire as an offering to the Lord. 2) Any work or spiritual practice that is offered as worship to God.

YOGA:
(lit., union) The spiritual practices and disciplines that lead a seeker to evenness of mind, to the severing of the union with pain, and through detachment, to skill in action. Ultimately, the path of yoga leads to the constant experience of the Self.

YOGI:
1) One who practices yoga. 2) One who has attained perfection through yogic practices.

YOGINI:
1) One who practices yoga. 2) One who has attained perfection through yogic practices



Baba Muktananda; 'Meditation Revolution' Continues Ten Years After His Passing

Shafer, Karen; Khakee, Gulshan



A journalist once called him "Swami Muktananda, the Bliss Liberator," a play on his name which means literally "Bliss of Liberation." Those who met him felt his exuberant personality and the humor and love with which he guided the lives of his students. Many also, as one devotee described it, "sensed that the goal of human life, liberation, was within our reach." Today his unique spiritual energy (shakti) is alive in his teachings, in the two young successors Swami Nityananda and Swami Chidvilasananda whom he designated before his passing, and through the hundreds of thousands of students around the world whose hearts he touched.

Muktananda's primary teaching was "Honor your self, worship your Self, kneel to your self, God dwells within you as you." Anyone can say these words, but Swam Muktananda - or Baba, as we who loved him called him - could transmit the experience of inner divinity.

Baba brought spirituality alive. A distinguished rabbi with a Harvard doctorate, author of many books on religion, put it this way: "I've read about God, talked about God, and written about God, but only meeting Muktananda has given me the certitude that God exists."

The rabbi's was not an isolated experience. Sincere seekers of every profession and religious persuasion got the experience, from contact with Baba that the God they sought outside was really the divine reality within. Steeped in a background of Kashmir Saivism, Muktananda taught that all visible phenomena are manifestations of Siva's Shakti, created out of one all-pervasive Being.

Krishna was the name Muktananda received at birth. He was born on the auspicious Vaishakhi Purnima, on the fall moon, May 16, 1908, near Mangalore in Karnataka State. His family was rich and pious, and he developed into an intelligent, imaginative, spirited child. When he was 15, Swami Nityananda, a wandering avadhoot well known in South India, visited his school and stroked his cheeks. The strange magnetic spell of that meeting never left his memory. Krishna soon left his family's loving hearth to begin his search for God with a determination that nothing but complete knowledge of the Self would satisfy. He travelled to Hubli where he studied Sanskrit, Vedanta and all branches of yoga in the Math of Siddharudha Swami and took the initiation of sannyasa, becoming Swami Muktananda. From there he walked across most of India, living an austere existence, mastering hatha yoga, studying ayurveda, and acquiring wisdom with many holy men. Finally he settled in Maharashtra, home of his beloved poets Tukaram, Eknath, Namdev and Jnaneshwar.

In 1947, at the age of 39, Muktananda went to Ganeshpuri to receive the darshan of Bhagawan Nityananda, the avadhoot Siddha he had met in his childhood. In Muktananda's autobiography he says, "All three important factors - divine Shaktipat, the grace of a great Siddha and a burning desire for God-realization - had combined." Nityananda sent him to Yeola to meditate, and for eight years, living in a little hut, he underwent extraordinary yogic experiences sparked by his initiation.

In 1956, Nityananda, dancing with joy, declared that his shishya had become one with Parabrahma: "Muktananda Paramahamsa! Muktananda Paramahamsa! He gave him a small piece of land with three small rooms at Gavdevi, near Ganeshpuri, which was to become Swami Muktananda's ashram and final resting place.

Throughout his life Swami Muktananda maintained a profound respect and love of his guru. When Professor Huston Smith met Baba and reminisced about his earlier darshan of Bhagawan Nityananda, he said he hadn't noticed Baba there. Baba replied humbly, "When the sun shines, the stars are not visible. My guru was the sun."

After Nityananda's passing on August 8, 1961, devotees - first a trickle, then in doves - began to gather around Baba Muktananda. His environment became an exquisite sacred place. Shree Gurudev Ashram began with beautiful rose gardens and gradually grew with the numbers of devotes. Swamiji, a master cook, prepared the meals and greeted every visitor with affection.

Students came from everywhere, extending invitations for Baba to visit the west. In 1970 he visited Australia, Los Angeles, Dallas, New York and Europe, transmitting shaktipat, leading groups in ecstatic chanting, and talking of the path of the Siddhas, whereby through the blessings of a satguru, meditation and yoga occur spontaneously.

Returning to Ganeshpuri, Baba modernized and expanded the ashram to accommodate the students who poured in. He established a traditional ashram atmosphere and a religious discipline that demanded sincerity on the part of the residents. All visitors, regardless of nationality or caste, were required to eat together, chant the Sanskrit texts and dhuns, meditate and assist in maintaining the ashram premises. Teachings remained informal, with Baba answering questions about people's practices with solicitous love or occasional sternness as the situation required. He often contrasted the attitudes of the Western and Indian devotees, saying "See what great bhakti, devotion and surrender the Indians have." To the Indians he would say, "See what humility and renunciation the foreigners have, they are from good families, and well educated, they come here and clean our toilets and do sadhana with great dedication.

Invitations again poured in, and in April 1974, after visiting Australia, Swami Muktananda arrived in Oakland, California. From 1974 to 1976, his work grew enormously as he travelled extensively in the USA. Recognized as a rare master of meditation and a yogi of extraordinary attainment, he was a visited by many leaders in science, psychology, physics and politics, including astronaut Edgar Mitchell, psychologists Karl Rogers, Rollo May and Stan Groff, author Carlos Casteneda, and politician Jerry Brown. In an article on his extraordinary appeal for well-known teachers and religious leaders, Time magazine labeled him "The Guru's Guru."

Baba also set in a place a format for his work, a two-day meditation intensive during which he transmitted shaktipat. People yearned to be touched by him, and he walked among the rows of students, touching each personality, by hand and with peacock feathers. "I still remember how it felt," recalls one devotee. "The rustlings of his silk as he approached, the scent of heena, then his thumb between my eyes and a swish of feathers on my face. Then deep meditation." Baba Muktananda had often said that his work was a start a "meditation revolution" that would transform peoples' hearts. Its seeds were sown in the intensives.

Often shaktipat set off a loud response as the energy activated physical and emotional responses. Kundalini arousal caused people to experience yoga and meditation effortlessly, and sometimes quite dynamically. "I was sitting close to Baba," says one of his students, "looking intently at him. Suddenly he lifted his glasses and looked me in the eye. I felt an electric current pass from his eyes into mine: ZZZZZZZ. It was so powerful one could only bear a little of it."

Babaji travelled coast to coast, and Siddha Meditation centers sprang up in Denver, Aspen, Dallas, Houston, Ann Arbor, Boston, New York, Chicago, Portland, Seattle, Los Angeles and Oakland. The first ashram was established in Oakland in 1975, and Siddha Yoga Foundation of America was created. A second property in upstate New York became a large country ashram. The tremendous effort of reaching thousands of people and personally transmitting shaktipat took its toll in 1975 as Baba suffered his first serious illness, a diabetic stroke.

Muktananda's own desire for liberation had transformed into an active compassion for all who came to him, and overrode consideration for his own health. He gave darshan in the waiting room of the hospital, ignoring the doctors' warnings. He returned to India in October 1976 having given a hundred intensives and awakened the hearts of thousands of people.

By then Siddha Yoga had become a world-wide meditation revolution. An ashram was established in Delhi, dhyan khendras were set up in devotees' homes all over India, and Swami Muktananda initiated some of his long-time students, both Indians and Westerners, into the Sankaracharya tradition of sannyasa and sent them on teaching assignments in India and the centers in the USA, London, Paris, Sydney and Melbourne.

In 1978 during his 70th birthday celebrations in Ganeshpuri, Baba addressed thousands of well-wishers. He blessed a huge seven-day yagna that was going on and returned to his room where he suffered a massive heart attack. Surrounded by concerned doctors and nurses, he awoke saying, "My Gurudev told me to return. Why are you all looking so concerned?" His recovery was spent in good humor surrounded by many visitors, and from then on he seemed determined to outwit the doctors who cautioned him about his health. Resuming his work, from 1979 through 1981 he visited Los Angeles, Oakland, Miami, Boston and his ashram in upstate New York. Hallmarks of that time were large conferences on meditation of specific interest groups, including artists and health care workers, and courses of Siddha yoga and Kashmir Saivism. During that time he essentialized his teachings in two books, Secret of the Siddhas and Reflections of the Self. Written - rapidly, urgently - with great concentration, they set down his commentary on Kashmir Saivism in the former and advice to seekers in the latter.

On his return to India in October 1981, Baba undertook actions that indicated he had prescience of his impending passing. He announced that he was creating a succession that would carry the Siddha tradition into the future. He designated two swamis, Swami Nityananda and Swami Chidvilasananda, brother and sister, children of long-time devotees Sheena and Devaki Shetty to take on the mantle of siddha yoga. The two young successors had been under his tutelage since their childhood. He called students from around the world to be present of the pattabhishek (succession ceremony) on his birthday celebration in May, 1982.

When the day arrived, thousands of people crowded in to witness the occasion. Garlanding his two beloved disciples, Baba said, "This lineage which has existed since ancient times, which has come down from the acharyas and from my own Gurudev - I give the knowledge and Shakti and the authority and the power of this lineage to these two, Swami Nityananda and Swami Chidvilasananda. By giving these to them, I retire."

There was a certain foreboding about what he meant by "retire." Following that occasion, Baba seemed more contemplative, and often sat silently during darshan. In September, Baba travelled to Kashmir to visit the scared spots of Kashmir Saivism. On October 2nd, 1982, under the full moon, his heart, which had blazed to embrace all who called on him and sought his blessings, flamed into eternity, and Swami Muktananda passed into Mahasamadhi. Tens of thousands of mourners came from all over India and the world for the last rites. Swami Muktananda was buried in the dhyan mandir, in the spot of earth that had been given to him by his beloved guru Nityananda.

"At first I was sad, as if the ground of my very being had been swept away," say one of Baba's long-time followers. "A month passed in this way. Then suddenly, out of my grief, a wave of tremendous bliss arose, and a flash of understanding: The divine flame that Baba ignited is within. His Shakti and his love are there and always will be. Liberation is still possible."

What Baba Meant to Me

First, Baba destroyed my clich[?]d notions about gurus and spirituality. Then - with the starting immediacy of his presence, his vigor and verve, his fluidity, his naturalness - he woke me up to the reality of a profound life force. Meditation became tender and juicy with his mantra, and I began sensing the presence of God in myself and others.

Susanna Sheffield, art dealer

Houston, Texas

Baba's teachings have changed my understanding of God from an abstract concept to a living reality. God's grace gradually becomes more apparent - to me in me.

Nityeshwari Bordoy, executive administrator

Mexico City, Mexico

Instead of forever striving for some future perfection, I have learned through meditation to accept and enjoy the present. I have identified God in myself and all living things. This allows for a serenity I never had before.

Harmon Lisnow, civil servant

Austin, Texas

Baba has given me whatever I have today, both materially and spiritually. My husband, my children and my home are Baba's prasad. Baba's advice that husband and wife should look on each other as Siva and Parvati, showing love, respect and devotion for each other, not only brings husband and wife closer but makes them both full of love for God.

Jyoti Nanda, housewife

Bombay, India

I detested the idea of having a guru. Yet Baba Muktananda had such a soothing effect that felt that I had found the ultimate in my life. His abounding love made me his own forever.

Madam Gopal Sharma, translator

New Delhi, India

Baba poured out his love, despite my stupidity, even reassuring me during my last visit by telling me, "You are always with me." Not "I am always with you" - no trace of ego.

Dr. Jayant D. Desai, ophthalmologist

Queens, New York

He spoke like a king, walked like a panther and laughed like a child. In his presence, spirits were lifted, doubts dissolved, questions answered from within and hope burnt bright.

B.R. Nanda, historian

New Delhi, India

When I took an intensive, I concentrated on the sound of his voice, his belly shaking with his sweet laughter, his hand movements, his presence. When my mind became quiet, an insight dawned: "He is holy, I can believe him, I can follow him."

Bhagavati Nash, retired

Queens, New York

Meeting Baba was like stepping into paradise. Everything glowed. Everyone seemed very happy. I went to see him every day. The more I listened to him, the more I chanted such ecstasy possible.

Margot Gorski, researcher

Melbourne, Australia

I can best describe my transformation in meeting Baba by saying that a profound deepening of my reference point for "self occurred. As a result, my life has a sense of cohesion about it - even in the midst of chaos and death. Amazingly, this knowing has not diminished with time, nor with his passing; it only gets richer as my life unfolds.

Jannie Sagert. Ph.D., Stress Management

Austin Texas

After Baba took samadhi, he came very close to me and now he is living in my heart. I can share with him my happiness and see him language. I can share with him my sadness and see him crying. My Baba was so mysterious; for me he became my best friend.

Volker Graul

Borgholzhausen, Germany.

Article copyright Himalayan Academy.


http://www.cosmicharmony.com/Sp/Muktanan/Muktanan.htm

Swami
Muktananda
Paramahamsa



Great
Devotee
Of
Nityananda
"This universe is Shiva's own garden,
Meant for a joyous stroll"


On This Page:
Muktananda's Own Story - Finding the Supreme Teacher
Guided by the Perfect Guru - Nityananda
Commentary On Universal Consciousness

Sayings and Stories of Swami Muktananda
Swami Muktananda

Finding the Supreme Teacher - Nityananda

by Swami Muktananda, in his own words....

I met my Guru, Bhagavan Nityananda, when I was very young. I was almost sixteen and still in school. Gurudev loved children, so whenever he came to our school all of us would leave our classes and follow him. The moment we followed him, he would start running and shouting. We would run after him, and then he would climb a tree and sit on a branch. We would just stay there under the tree. He was a great runner. He had great speed. He was a great walker too, he walked very fast. He walked in a strange way, in the state of an Avadhut (One in a state of constant mergence in the Divine).

Whenever he came to school the teachers would be very upset, but the children would follow him anyway. he would go into a candy store, reach into the containers, throw candy to the children, and then take off again. Still the shopkeepers never complained, because whenever he gave away candy, their sales went up. I had this feeling I wanted to be like him, that such a thing would be better than anything else.
Nityananda walking with children
In those days he didn't stay in one place for very long. He kept walking and walking, day and night. he would walk forty miles a day, and then he would disappear. He wore just a loincloth, and he would walk and walk. Finally he went to Ganeshpuri where he settled permanently.

After I met him, I gave up school. I also started traveling. First I went to Karnataka where I began to study scriptures, and where I met a great Siddha called Siddharudha Swami. I continued to travel all over India, and I met two other great saints. When I met them, I thought I was smarter than they were, so I couldn't attain anything even from them.

My Guru was a great aid in crushing my ego. I was a kind of half scholar; I had read some books here and there, and I had some broken knowledge. If you only study a little bit here and there, it's no good. Also I had changed my clothes; I had put on the robes of a swami. Because I was playing a role, I couldn't sit still. I played my role by jumping here and there.

I used to go to Ganeshpuri and meet my Baba quite often. I would go and stay with him for a few days. Then he would tell me to go and travel some more. For about fifteen years I kept coming and going from my Baba's place.

I didn't spare any of the holy places in India. I didn't spare any of the great temples. I didn't spare any of the great beings. I searched intensely for God in caves, mountains, and forests. I do not remember in exactly how many temples I sought Him or in how many shrines I meditated on Him to no avail. I prayed in so many different temples, but only hours slipped by and I was still without peace.

Then I set out in search of a guide. I wandered all by myself, pondering the mysteries of life. In the course of these wanderings, I ran into an unusual, naked saint named Zipruanna. He was very great. Although he appeared to be a fool to worldly-minded folk, he was omniscient. He seemed a naked mendicant only to those who were spiritually naked, being without knowledge. However he was the owner of a vast treasure of wisdom - a true millionaire. I loved him at first sight. We became friends. What a combination! One was a naked fakir while the other was a well dressed, modern renunciant. He said, "O you crazy one, God is within! Why do you seek him outside?"
I said, "Instruct me."
"That is not for me to do so." he replied. "Go back to Ganeshpuri and stay there. Your treasure lies there. Go and claim it."

So I went back to Ganeshpuri once again and met Nityananda Baba, the supreme avadhut. I was overjoyed. No - I was fulfilled. After a bath in the hot springs, I went for his darshan. he was poised in a simple, easy posture on a plain cot, smiling gently. His eyes were open but his gaze was directed within. What divine luster glowed in those eyes! His body was dark, and he was wearing a simple loincloth.

He said, "So you've come."

"Yes Sir," I answered. I stood for a while and then sat down. There I realized the highest. I am still sitting there.





Guided by The Perfect Guru - Nityananda

Nityananda's form was supremely radiant and attractive, and if a person had his darshan even once, the impression would be deeply and unforgettably imprinted on his mind.
Nityanada, the Supreme Guru
His skin was like a dark shining jewel filled with divine radiance. His forehead was high and arched, and his face completely captivating. Thick eyebrows curved over his large beautiful eyes. A river of love poured forth from his glance. His ears had the graceful shape of conch shells. Most of the time his attention was turned inward, as he sat peacefully with a smile on his lotus face.

His way of life was extremely simple. He would bathe very early in the morning, before sunrise. He ate very little. His simplicity and renunciation revealed the greatness of his inner state.

Most of the time Gurudev was silent. However if someone asked him a question, he would explain abstract philosophy in very simple words that were immediately understood.

Most of the time my Baba's eyes were closed. His eyes were very big and extremely powerful. He never looked at anyone with his open eyes. Even while eating or drinking, he used to keep his eyes closed. The photographs that you see of him were taken by a photographer who had to wait for hours and hours. When Nityananda Baba opened his eyes, at that moment the photographer snapped the picture.

A Photograph has great power. What kind of power depends upon whose picture it is. The state of the person remains inherent in the photograph. I fully believe in the power of my Baba's photographs.

If you want to establish a connection with Nityananda Baba, just look at his eyes in the photograph and repeat your mantra. In this way the Shakti will enter you. Then automatically the relationship will be established.

A Guru looks like a human being to the physical eyes, and it is very difficult for an ordinary person to see God in that human body. Ordinary people say, "He eats like us, he drinks like us, he sleeps like us, he laughs like us and has fun like us." But in a Guru's body, there is this Shakti, this divine force that is completely alive. That is what makes a Guru. As you follow the words of the Guru, the Shakti enters you more and more, until one day that Shakti transforms your being into the being of the Guru.

Within every person there is this Shakti. It is the divine power, God's power. And it is only because of this power that we live. This power is also known as the Self, or God. As long as you do not know the Self, no matter how much you try to improve on the outside, you cannot really improve.

People used to go to my Gurudev and ask, "O Gurudev, I want to see God! I want to see God!" My Gurudev would say, "Just look around! Everyone is God! Everyone is God!"

Every one of you experiences this, but you do not understand it. You do not know how he resides within. When you are awake, you perform so may actions, but there is One within who witnesses all your actions. When you go to sleep and dream, there is One within who remains awake and watches all your dreams. If you know that One, if you know that Knower, then you know everything.




August 15, 1947
Nityananda stood facing me directly. He looked into my eyes again. Watching carefully, I saw a ray of light entering me from his pupils. It felt hot like burning fever. Its light was dazzling, like that of a high-powered bulb. As that ray emanating from Bhagavan Nityananda's pupils penetrated mine, I was thrilled with amazement, joy, and fear. I was beholding its color and chanting Guru Om. It was a full unbroken beam of divine radiance. Its color kept changing from molten gold to saffron to a shade deeper than the blue of a shining star. I stood utterly transfixed.

He sat down and said in his aphoristic fashion, "All mantras... one. Each... from Om. Om Namah Shivaya Om... should think, Shivo'ham, I am Shiva... Shiva-Shiva...Shivo'ham...should be internal repetition. Internal...superior to external."
From Play of Consciousness by Baba Muktanada


That Siddha gave me one word that completely transformed me, but I had to spend such a long time with him to receive it. The word I received after so many years spread through my body from head to toe like wildfire carried by the wind. It produced in me both inner heat and the coolness of joy.

Before meeting my Guru, I had practised many different kinds of yoga, but it was I who had practiced them. However that word activated a spontaneous yoga within me. I was filled with amazement. what postures, mudras, and breathing processes! Everything happened on its own.

After the awakening of the Shakti, this process of yogic movement began to take place within my entire body. I saw my own double many times. In the Sahasrara at the crown of the head, I perceived the brilliance of a thousand suns. I also saw the Blue Being. Sometimes I would lose myself within; then I would regain consciousness. I am ecstatic! I have found the best place of all, right within myself.

I have rediscovered that which I never lost. Still my addiction has not left me. Jai Gurudev! Such a great addiction to the Guru! "Guru Om! Guru Om!" The repetition of this great mantra occurs even in my dreams. I do not know who repeats it there. My Guru's picture seems to come alive for me. When I look at his eyes, I see radiance. When I gaze at his body, it seems to be moving. When I look at his face, a smile seems to play on his lips. People may think this is madness. So be it. How beautiful! How exquisite! How ecstatic! Sometimes in the privacy of my room, I dance while singing "Guru Om, Guru Om". The pulsation of his ecstasy pervades my entire body like the movement of the wind.


"If you have God's name on your tongue, realization will be in your palm."
Tukaram


"Sweet is the name of Ram,
and rare are the wise and the holy who taste its nectar.
Drinking its love, they glide into eternity."
Saint Dadu


Although the Guru has great gifts to give us, he can give them to us only when we become worthy of receiving them. I can tell you this from experience. In the early years I kept coming and going from Baba Nityananda's place. When I was there, I would become restless, so I would leave and go somewhere else for a while. The reason for this was ego and pride. Nityananda was a being who loved to challenge others, and I was a person who was too proud. At his place people used to line up, waiting for hours to receive something from him. He was always established in the supreme state. Sometimes he would pick up something, call someone close to him, and give him that. Whatever gift of prasad he gave people was like a wish-fulfilling tree that would fulfill all their desires. I waited to see if I would receive anything. Nothing - not even a glass of water. Sometimes he would pick up something and say "Come here," and I would go running. Then he would say, "Not you. I'm calling someone else." In that way, he would insult me in front of everyone again and again, and I would die. The bigger my ego was, the worse the insults became. This went on for several years. he kept working on me, and I kept coming and going. I would leave, but then I would miss him and come back. He would work on me some more and I would leave. But I wouldn't remain tranquil, thinking, "If I get something, that's fine; and if I don't get anything, that's fine too." The more the Guru tested me, the more I advanced in my sadhana. No matter how much he tested me, I did not look for faults in him. Instead I looked for my own faults. I asked myself, What do I lack: What are my shortcomings?
Swami Muktananda in India
At one point in my sadhana I discovered that knowledge is man's true nature. Shaivism says, "When pure knowledge arises in man, he attains the Lord." So I began to read books - many, many books. I used to stay a mile away from my Gurudev's place, and when I went to see him, I would take a book under my arm.

My Babaji watched this for a long time. He must have wondered whether I was ever going to stop reading. But there was no way I could stop reading. It wasn't that I was holding on to the book - the book was holding on to me. Whenever you have an addiction, that's what happens. Whatever you're addicted to holds on to you.

Finally, one day he called me closer and said, "Hey Muktananda, come here. What's that you're carrying under your arm?"

"It's a Upanishad," I said.

"Mati! (Dust)" he said. He was very fond of the word "dust". he would describe everything as dust. He went on, "Do you know how this book was written? Books are created by someone's mind. The mind creates books. Books have never yet created even a single mind. Where is your mind? Where has it gone? Instead of reading someone else's mind, meditate and then read your own mind. Put this book aside and meditate. Meditate a lot. When you meditate a lot, true knowledge will spring forth from you. You won't have to read books. Inner knowledge is far superior. Write your own book with your own mind. Meditate. Many books will come out of you."



One day in Gurudev's presence, I referred to someone as a crook. Immediately Gurudev said, "Hey, Muktananda! Is there really any crooked person in this world? It is just the crookedness of your cleverness. Everything is the pervasion of the supreme truth. God has created the play of the world for His own pleasure. No one in the world is crooked." Ah how perfect he was. What Siddhahood!

He continued. "O, Muktananda! You are seeing with petty understanding. With this kind of awareness, you are heading in the wrong direction. Change your outlook. Correct your understanding. Then see that the world is just a play, an entertaining movie. It is neither true nor false. Know this secret. Only then will you attain something." What a great teaching this was, and how absolutely true. What divine wisdom of the Self. This is the teaching of the compassionate Siddha Guru.

So the world is as you see it. You project your own outlook onto someone else, onto this entire creation. Otherwise the world is nothing but God. Everyone is an image of the beautiful Lord. Everyone is a flame of the supreme Truth.

This entire world consists of different forms of God. Yogis who have attained complete knowledge say this world is a play of God, and He can be seen in every part of it. The world is not a solid substance, not the final reality; it is a form of the Self, a play of divine Consciousness, a symbol of joy. Marvelling at this cosmic drama, some have called the Lord a master of disguise, a supreme actor who can play any role, because even though He is one and indivisible, He reveals Himself in millions of forms, and through maya He takes part in every play. Though inactive, He appears to be active. The delusions of maya and maya herself, are also the forms of the Lord. All this is His amazing composition, His mysterious creation. Even though he is free, He assumes a body. Though He is the giver of all, He takes on the form of a beggar and eats whatever is given in charity. The only one dwelling in this entire world is God.


"Once I went with my Guru for a walk along the bank of a river. Near the road was a huge rock. he said, "Do you see this rock? See the miracle? See the doing of the universal Consciousness? Here it has become a rock, here it has become a human being, and here it has become a tree. But although it has become all this, it does not lack Consciousness in its fullness."


Sometimes when Nityananda gave darshan, someone would say, "Oh, Baba, it's been so long since I've had your darshan!" And Baba would say, "Why? Wasn't I where you were? Wasn't I in the things you were seeing? Wasn't I in the people you were seeing? Your Father is Brahman, your Mother is Brahman, you are Brahman. All are Brahman. Everything is Brahman. Where else do you look for Him?"



I firmly believe in the Ultimate Reality without any attributes or form. I adore the Impersonal, but I know fully what is good for a seeker. It is quite easy for one to accept what he can hear with his ears, what he can see with his eyes, and what he can think with his mind. But it is very difficult to accept what you cannot hear or see or think about. The only way of reaching the Impersonal is through the yoga of the personal.

Consciousness does not die. Names and forms change. It is an illusion to consider the statue of Nityananda to be mere form. However, he is attainable by devotees and disciples through the form. We worship the Guru in a personal form so that we may receive Shakti and meditate effectively, so that we may reach the journey's end.



Siddhas have their own independent plane of existence called Siddhaloka. It is a very beautiful world. The Siddhas who live there have a different perception of time than we do in this world. A thousand of our years is like a second for them. There is no day or night there. That world is illumined by its own light; it doesn't need the sun or moon. Just as we have the blue light of Consciousness shimmering within us, that same blue light is shimmering and scintillating in Siddhaloka.

From time to time beings from Siddhaloka come here to perform some work. Great beings such as Baba Nityananda come from that place. They come to our world because they have been directed to do so. They sow seeds, and after a while they leave. Then the seed sprouts, it grows into a plant; then it becomes a tree with many branches. Eventually it bears a lot of fruit and becomes something great.

Great beings appear to be different from each other on the outside. One may be inert, one like a ghost, and one may seem intoxicated. But all of them are lost in the love of God. Nityananda Baba was very intoxicated all the time. His eyes were filled with that intoxication, and his body too. When one experiences the supreme nectar of a great being, compared to that, everything else becomes meaningless, tasteless. Inside and outside he is filled with the intoxication of devotion. He becomes immersed in it. Wherever he looks, God is standing there. Notions of mine and thine disappear. Everything is God. The state of these beings is marvelous.

Nityananda had thousands and thousands of disciples who received his energy. He didn't use ostentatious rituals to give initiation. He would make a gesture towards someone, and that person would receive his grace. He would utter a single word to someone, and that person would receive grace. Whatever a Siddha says, that is mantra. Whatever a Siddha does, that is yoga. Whatever a Siddha speaks, that is knowledge.

For him, spirituality and worldly life were one and the same. If people asked him mundane questions about life, he would answer those questions. he never felt that one had to be a seeker, that one should ask questions only from the scriptures or about knowledge.

Some Gurus will tell you the simple truth straight away. Baba Nityananda was like that. As soon as a seeker came to him, my Baba would say, "Why are you wandering? All is within. Go and sit at home. What is there outside?"

Many different kinds of people used to come to Bhagavan Nityananda, ascetics, monks, mendicants, Christian priests and Yogis from the Himalayas. For him, all religions were equal. He saw all sects, all ideologies, and all philosophies as equal. He used to say that each sect or doctrine or creed is a different path leading to the same goal. Many paths lead to the same destination. Similarly through all these different philosophies one can attain the same divine state.

The Powerful Glance of Nityanada


Once there was a disciple called Jalandharnath, who set out looking for a Guru named Goraknath. Finally he met someone walking on the road. Goraknath said, "Where are you going?"
"I'm looking for Goraknath," said Jalandharnath.
"Why?"
"To receive grace."
"I am Goraknath," he said. "Sit down here and I will be back."
Then he left for twelve years. Jalandharnath sat there for twelve years. When Goraknath returned, his disciple had attained everything. This is the sign of a person who is worthy of receiving grace.



You can attain God, you can finish your journey, within a few years. It doesn't have to take a long time. Jnaneshwar Maharaj finished his journey very quickly, in only six months. Others have finished their journey in fifteen years, or twelve, or less. Then they became utterly content within themselves.

Baba Nityananda used to say, "You can finish the journey like this - within a fraction of a second." And he would snap his fingers!



When a person dies and divine Consciousness leaves the body as a tiny flame, the corpse is a frightening sight to many people. Even if the body was much loved, you hate to see it after the light of consciousness has left it. your eyes turn away from the corpse. How beautiful that divine Consciousness must be, which made the body appear glowing and lovable, beautiful and full of goodness. How radiant that light must be, how powerful. How much sweetness it must have. All this is known by one who has lost himself in the inner Self.

Bhagavan Nityananda used to day, "O soul, you should see the inner beauty. It is so sweet, so fascinating, so joyous. Not even a drop of that inner ocean can be found on the outside. Therefore, turn within. Meditate, meditate, meditate!"






Swami Muktananda: Commentary on Universal Consciousness


Now I know fully that my own Soul is pervading everywhere as the universe. In fact, the cosmos does not exist; it never existed. For what we regard as the universe is only a conscious play of Chitshakti (the intelligent, conscious, Divine Energy that masquerades as the universe).

The Absolute bliss, attainable through the Vedantic contemplation; Thou art That, is in fact my own Self vibrating subtly within me.

The greatest fact is that this universe is a divine sport, a bursting forth of Chitshakti. It appears to be material owing to our ignorance of Chiti (the dynamic feminine aspect of Godhood). When the knowledge of Chiti is attained, matter will vanish and one will see only Chiti everywhere.

When mighty Shiva wishes to create, Chiti expands Herself of Her own accord, differentiates Her own Being and manifests into innumerable forms. Chiti expresses Her own creativity by unfolding as the external universe, which is Her immanent aspect. Despite appearing as the cosmos, She remains pure, self-illumined and untainted in her transcendent aspect. She projects Herself as happiness, sorrow, fear, disease, impurity, childhood, youth, heaven and hell. Yet her purity and transparency remain ever unsullied. Remaining unaltered, She revels in the external universe.

This entire world in which we live is a play of the self-luminous Universal Consciousness. To one with this vision, the universe is only an unfolding of divine Shakti. For him there is neither bondage nor salvation; neither means nor end; neither contraction nor expansion, for his eye of knowledge has been opened by the Guru's mercy.

The universe is nothing but a play of Universal Imagination. Chiti is absolutely free and self-effulgent. She holds the triple power of creation-sustenance-dissolution within Her. Though She is above space, time, and form, she voluntarily assumes these limitations. All spaces, times, and forms are Her expressions. Chiti maintains Her unity and identity in spite of Her manifesting as the universe. She is omnipresent, ever-full and ever-radiant.

Just as the numberless water drops, bubbles, waves and foam of an ocean are in no way different from it, similarly, the countless names, forms, and qualities of this universe are not at all different from Chiti.

Those who are ignorant of the divine play of consciousness, and consider the universe to be essentially different from Chiti, suffer in diverse ways because of this delusion. The entire universe is the field of the known, while the Universal Soul is the knower. The Supreme Lord is unity in diversity and diversity in unity.

The Absolute is real; the world is unreal.
Such is the truth.
But for Self-knowledge, suffering does not cease.
He who sees the One in all, alone attains peace.
The Absolute is the individual Soul -
Such is the Vedantic teaching.

He who continually contemplates his identity with the universe realizes that it is his own splendour. He will continue to dwell in his perfection.

O Siddha students! The universe belongs to you. You are its Soul. Different levels of manifestation arise from you. They are your own forms. You are perfect in your aspect as the Universal Spirit. Remain continuously aware that the universe is your own splendid glory. This is the Guru's command, the teaching of Parashiva, the Siddha mode of perception. This is the easy and natural means to liberation.
From: Play of Consciousness by Baba Muktananda






Sayings and Stories by Muktananda


Story - Importance of Devotion to the Guru


Muktananda as a young Sadhak with Nityananda Giri was an illiterate Brahmin boy who became highly proficient in Vedanta merely by his rare devotion to Sri Shankaracharya, whom he had accepted as his Guru. He was a simple and devoted soul who fully believed that service to the Guru was the source of all knowledge. He therefore devoted himself faithfully to the service of the Acharya (teacher). He never neglected his duties and was always quick to perform every possible service to the Guru. Whenever the Acharya taught Vedanta to his pupils, Giri would humbly stand by and listen. One day the Acharya held the class as usual but would not start the lesson. When the pupils asked him if he was waiting for something, the Acharya replied that he was waiting for Giri. The pupils laughed and said, "Gurudev! Giri has gone to the river to wash your clothes. You may begin the lessons. It doesn't matter whether Giri is present or not since he doesn't understand or grasp anything."

This callousness pained Shankaracharya. In order to emphasize the value of gurubhakti (devotion to the Guru) and remove the pupil's false pride in intelligence and book-learning, he taught them not to belittle an illiterate, but devout sadhaka. By his mere wish, he transmitted his grace to Giri. Instantly, the boy was inspired to compose Sanskrit verses in praise of the Guru, and with the Guru's clothes in his hands, he returned and stood before Shankaracharya, reciting the versus with humility. All the pupils were surprised by this miraculous change in Giri and at once realized their mistake. Giri thus became an enlightened soul by the grace of the Guru and became well known as Totakacharya. This is the greatness and power of gurubhakti.
From: Light on the Path by Swami Muktananda. Published by SYDA Foundation.


Significance of a Real Guru

The Guru's consciousness remains permanently one with that of the Universal Self. That is why the Guru is everywhere, even when he appears to be present at one place. He is looked upon as a manifestation of Supreme Reality because he is the knower of the highest Truth and is firmly established in it, having achieved the direct experience of the Divine.


Jiva versus Shiva

When the disciple's latent Shakti unfolds itself fully by the Guru's blessings, the feeling of "I am jiva (individual Self)" vanishes, and the knowledge that "I am Shiva (universal Self)" dawns.


Supreme Spirit as Cosmos

The Lord, the Supreme Spirit, is the basis of everything, including the movable and immovable entities of this universe. Therefore, the universe itself is the cosmic Self.


Attitude Towards Religions

God is kind, compassionate, and also generous in bestowing his grace. In order to realize that merciful One, a seeker must follow any one of the spiritual paths and follow the disciplines prescribed therein with an earnest heart. But at the same time, we must remember that it is not fair to consider all other paths and disciplines inferior to our own. Bigotry cannot please God, because He is never captivated by any ritual or any particular method of sadhana. It is only out of compassion that He reveals Himself to devotees when He is pleased by their selfless love.



As long as a man is bound by a particular sect, there is a possibility of feeling hostile toward other sects, but for one who has gone beyond all sects, such feelings do not arise in his mind. A sect is like a fence. When a plant is small, it requires a fence for its protection,
but after it has become a full-grown tree, a fence is no longer necessary.

"In God's house there is no particular religion or sect of faith.
To Him, all are the same."


Enlightenment

The human body is a holy temple, and the jivatman (imprisoned spirit) that dwells within is none other than Paramatman (universal Spirit). This identity of jivatman and Paramatman is realized when the state of Soham (I am That) is actually experienced after complete purification of the mind.


Eternal Versus Transient

Where are all the great kings and mighty warriors who once ruled this earth? Where have they all gone? The world we see is transitory and ever changing. Just as the past has not survived, so the present order will also perish in the future. One who has this understanding and can discriminate between the eternal and the transient is fit for initiation on the divine path.


Serve the Nectar of Wisdom Not Poison of Ignorance

In this world of desires, a person becomes his own enemy and begins to torture himself. He himself becomes a sinner and then groans. He himself serves the poison of ignorance to himself and thus commits suicide. While he is hostile to himself, he blames others. Why do you commit suicide for lack of knowledge? Give up your illusions and see yourself as you really are. Uplift yourself by means of knowledge. Serve the nectar of wisdom to yourself. Achieve greatness. The soul dwells as the perceiving Consciousness in every being. Reflect on the inner Truth. Explore your own depths. Direct your seeking within. Revel in your own being.


The Lost Prince - Destroying the Illusion of Your Limitations

Once a king, accompanied by his young son, went hunting in a forest where he saw a beautiful deer. Leaving his son under a tree, he pursued the deer for quite a long distance. After a while, some tribesmen who were passing through the forest saw the young prince crying under the tree, and they took him home with them, assuming that he was lost. When the king returned from hunting, his son was nowhere to be found. he went home and sent search parties out in all directions, but there was no sign of the child. After several years, the king's prime minister was attending to court business and came upon the tribesmen's dwelling place. There he saw a young boy who appeared quite different from the other boys. Reminded of the lost prince, the prime minister asked him who he was. The boy replied that he was the son of a tribesman. The prime minister then asked the tribesmen about the boy, but they knew nothing except that they had found him several years ago under a tree in the forest and had brought him home. Hearing this, the prime minister was convinced that the boy was the lost prince, and he took him home to the palace.

Even after the boy was told that he was a prince, he still considered himself a tribesman because of his deep mental impressions of having been with the tribesman for many years. The prime minister dressed him in beautiful, princely clothes and made him view himself in a large mirror, saying, "Look, this is what you really are." Seeing his real identity, the boy's illusion vanished, and he was convinced that he was really a prince. This understanding removed his former feelings of lowliness, and he began to behave like a real prince.

In the same way, if we become aware of our true Self, we will realize that we are really God and all sense of imperfection will be eliminated. Man has the right to attain his Godhood and, therefore, should not despair. Keep trying, have no doubts, and seek the company of saints. It is the duty of every saint to make you realize your real Self, just as the prime minister helped the prince to realize his true identity.
From: Conversations with Swami Muktananda - The Early Years by Swami Muktananda. Published by SYDA Foundation.


World as Universal Mother

O Dear Ones. This world is not a vale of sorrow. It is neither a transient phenomenon nor a void. It is neither a field of action nor illusory, neither real nor unreal nor an abode of differences. It is the beautiful playground of Lord Shiva; it is not inert matter but the divine abode of gods. To the ignorant and blind it is transitory, but to the enlightened, to those filled with devotion to the Guru, it is the sport of the Absolute. For the unbelieving the world is a vale of tears, but for the believing and detached who are filled with love for God, it is the manifestation of His love. For the wise, for perfect and ecstatic beings, this world is a divine, intoxicated play. Know the world fully; know it as it is. It is nothing but Chiti. You, He, and I are all permeated with Chiti. Whatever is, is Chiti. Look with this all-embracing vision, the vision of knowledge. What nectar flows here! Look at the beauty of the beloved Universal Mother.


God is the Real Actor

To think, "I have done this, I will do that." is one of the most potent delusions in which a man is entangled. In Fact it is God who does everything.

When Lord Krishna was driving Arjuna's chariot, he held all the power. Even if Arjuna shot an arrow in the wrong direction, it would hit its target. Arjuna thought he was doing it. He didn't realize that all the time it was Krishna's power that was doing everything. After the great war had ended and Krishna had left the chariot, Arjuna was totally helpless without him.

We think we are the agents of action, but the fact is that it is some other power that makes everything happen. Out of pride each of us thinks, "It is I who am doing everything," whereas it is the Lord who is the real doer. So give up your attachment to desire, greed, delusion, anger, and pride. These passions have treated you in the most miserable manner. They have put you in their pocket. Try to escape their tyranny; try to know your true inner Self.

Whatever work is going on in the world is, in reality, the work of God. If one understands this, one can perform any work as an offering. To cooperate selflessly in God's work is real yajna (sacrifice).

"It is the supreme Self from which the activity of all beings arises, by which everything is pervaded. One who worships that supreme Self by performing his own duty attains liberation"       Bhagavad Gita


Change Your Idea of Yourself

Understanding is determined by knowledge. Attitude is shaped by understanding. peace and joy arise in the mind according to one's attitude. Take the case of an ordinary soldier. If he becomes a lieutenant, he feels more important. As he rises through the ranks from a lieutenant to a major and then to a brigadier general and finally assumes the position of commander-in-chief, his power increases progressively and so does his awareness of his stature. If he becomes the president of his country, his authority is far more pervasive and he also feels far more important. Actually this person remains the same throughout. What changes then? It is his own idea of himself. He felt insignificant while he was a soldier, but now he considers himself not a soldier but the president of his country. Similarly, if you give up the wrong view of yourself as a trivial, destitute, inferior, begging, and imprisoned creature and instead begin to feel that you are Shiva, the all-pervasive soul, that you are perfection itself, how much greater your joy will be! Stop looking upon yourself as a limited individual. Become firmly anchored in the sense of your own pervasiveness, of your ability, greatness, and purity.


Think - "I am the Self"

Remember the body is perishable. Eternity is only in the Self. Truth is only in the Self. Greatness is only in the Self. Before departing there is one thing you must do - and that is to attain the Self. You are the Self. The Self is yours. You are constantly thinking about your body and identifying yourself as a person. Stop! Discard that idea. Then think, "I am the Self. I am Consciousness." The fruit of thought is very great. What you attain in the end is what you think about all the time. So think, "I am the Self, I am Consciousness. I am beautiful." The Self is complete and pure and perfect. Whatever you do, wherever you go, sit calmly and contemplate the fact that your are the Self.


Illusion of Maya Versus Ultimate Reality

The world deceives us when we consider it to be simply the world as we see it. However, once we experience the blissful sport of Consciousness, the world is transformed into a haven of bliss.


Essence of All Teachings

I will explain the essence of thousands of scriptures in half a verse. This world is an illusion. There is no difference between the individual soul and the supreme Soul. They are one and the same. This was the teaching of Shankaracharya, who wrote:

This world is the creation of the mind.
Once the mind becomes mindless,
there is no world.
There is only heaven.









Story of Muktananda's experiences with his Guru Nityananda extracted from the excellent book: Bhagavan Nityananda of Ganeshpuri.
Copyright 1972, 1996 SYDA Foundation

Swami Muktananda's Commentary on Universal Consciousness extracted from: Play of Consciousness.
Copyright 1971, 1972,1978,1994 SYDA Foundation

Other sayings of Muktananda extracted from: Conversations with Swami Muktananda - The Early Years.
Copyright 1981, 1998 SYDA Foundation

Books published by and available from: SYDA, Siddha Yoga Foundation.
The above books are copyrighted by SYDA Foundation, and are excerpted here by permission. All rights reserved.
Also see Cosmic Harmony Books and References for more descriptive information about the books.

Свами Муктананда "Игра Сознания"
гра сознания
Автор: Муктананда
Перевод с английского: Бхайравананда
Издательство: Шива-пресс
ISBN: 985-6937-01-9
http://www.cosmicharmony.com/Av/Nityanan/Nityanan.htm*** http://ariom.ru/forum/p157400.html

http://www.cosmicharmony.com/Sp/Muktanan/Muktanan.htmTHE CHIDAKASHA GITA OF
BHAGAWAN NITYANANDA OF GANESHPURI
With Commentary by Acharya Kedar
Swami Muktananda (May 16, 1908-October 2, 1982) is the monastic name of an Indian guru. He was the founder of Siddha Yoga new religious movement. He wrote a number of books, including the autobiography The Play of Consciousness.
http://www.shantimandir.com/album/album_sp.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muktananda
http://members.cruzio.com/~cosker/nityananda.htmlFurther reading
Play of Consciousness: A Spiritual Autobiography, Siddha Yoga Publications, ISBN 0911307818
Where Are You Going?: A Guide to the Spiritual Journey, Siddha Yoga Publications, ISBN 0911307605
Meditate: Happiness Lies Within You, Siddha Yoga Publications, ISBN 0911307621
From the Finite to the Infinite, Siddha Yoga Publications, ISBN 0911307311
Secrets of the Siddhas, Siddha Yoga Publications, ISBN 0911307311
Kundalini, Siddha Yoga Publications, ISBN 0911307346
I Am that: The Science of Hamsa from the Vijnana Bhairava, Siddha Yoga Publications, ISBN 0914602276
Nothing Exixts that Is Not Shiva: Commentaries on the Shiva Sutra, Vijnana Bhairava, Guru Gita, and Other Sacred Texts, Siddha Yoga Publications, ISBN 0911307567
Selected Essays, Siddha Yoga Publications, ISBN 0911307370
Lalleshwari, SYDA Foundation, ISBN 0914602667
Satsang With Baba - Volumes 1 - 5, SYDA, ISBN 0914602403
Getting Rid of What You Haven't Got, Wordpress ISBN 0915104008
To Know the Knower, Siddha Yoga Publications, ISBN 0914602918
God is With You, Siddha Yoga Publications ISBN 0914602578
The Nectar of Chanting, SYDA Foundation, ISBN 0914602160
A Book for the Mind, SYDA Foundation, ASIN B00072BT0G
Ashram Dharma, SYDA Foundation, ISBN 0911307389
Bhagawan Nityananda of Ganeshpuri, Siddha Yoga Publications, ISBN 0911307451
Conversations with Swami Muktananda: The Early Years, Siddha Yoga Publications ISBN 0911307532
Does Death Really Exist?, Siddha Yoga Publications, ISBN 0911307362
I Have Become Alive, Siddha Yoga Publications, ISBN 0911307265
I Love You, SYDA Foundation, ASIN B00072OCI2
I Welcome You All With Love, Siddha Yoga Publications, ISBN 0911307656
Light on the Path, Siddha Yoga Publications, ISBN 0914602543
Mukteshwari, SYDA Foundation, ASIN B0006DXSAK
Mystery of the Mind, SYDA Foundation, ASIN B0006E4WW2
Reflections of the Self, Siddha Yoga Publications, ISBN 0914602500
The Perfect Relationship, SYDA Foundation, ISBN 0914602535
The Self is Already Attained, Siddha Yoga Meditation Publications, ISBN 0914602772
Brooke, Tal. "Riders of the Cosmic Circuit". Chariot Victor Pub, 1987 ISBN 0-595-09315-9

http://www.internetyoga.com/chidakasha/index.htmПробуждение. Сиддха-Йога
Автор: Свами Муктананда
Издательство: садхана
ISBN: 5-88923-098-0

Я
последователь Пути Сиддхов, и я живу благодаря милости Сиддхи. Мои жизнь, еда, омовение, медитация, мантра, дыхание, достижение, спасение и покой являются благословением Сиддхи. Что еще могу я сказать?
Нитьянанда, который обитает в мире Сиддхов, совершенный владыка Сиддха Йоги, высший Гуру, является возлюбенным божеством Муктананды и его самой сокровенной сущностью. Я живу благословением его милости. Его милосердная Шакти, сила божественной милости, распространилась по моему телу и сделала своей обителью мое сердце.
Никто живущий в этом мире не должен считать, что бесплодные и безрадостные переживания мира существуют для него и что йога и медитация существуют для отшельников, которые отгородились от всего. Для обычных людей вполне возможно практиковать Сиддха Йогу и в то же время заниматься обычной своей деятельностью. Сегодня есть множество последователей Науки Сиддхов, которые живут в миру; так же как и раньше существовало бесконечное число мирян, которые следовали этому пути. Они стали совершенными людьми, осуществляя как духовное, так и мирское.
Этот путь открыт для всех. В каждом человеке существует внутренняя божественная сила, которую Шива Самхита описывала следующими словами:
муладхарастха вахньятматеджо мадхье въявастхита дживашактих кундалакхья пранкаратха теджаси махакундалини прокта парабрахмасварупини шабдабрахмамаи деви еканекакшаракритих шакти кундалини нама висатантунибха шубха
Это значит, что Шакти, великая Богиня, имеет природу Брахмана, Абсолюта. Люди называют ее Кундалини. Она напоминает стебель лотоса и находится в чреве лотоса муладхары. Она свер
нута в спираль и наполнена золотым сиянием и светом. Она является высшей свободной от страха Шакти Парашивы. Именно она живет в каждом человеке как душа. Она имеет форму праны. Все буквы от а до кша возникают из Нее. Я описываю Ее для того, чтобы люди смогли узнать эту внутреннюю силу и использовать Ее, живя обычной жизнью. Кундалини — это сущность Ом. Когда она пробуждена, жизни, которые казались самыми обычными и неинтересными, безрадостными и разочаровывающими, становятся светлыми и радостными, наполненными сладостью, удовлетворением и блаженством.
Кундалини является богиней Чити, радостной божественной энергией, которая раскрывает вселенную. Она свернута в спираль и обитает в муладхаре и поддерживает должное функционирование всех органов нашего тела. Пробуждаясь по милости Гуру, Она трансформирует тело и совершенствует наши жизни в соответствии с нашими судьбами. Она порождает чувство глубокой симпатии среди людей, помогает им увидеть божественное в каждом и таким образом превращает мир в рай. Она превращает все несовершенное, что есть в нашей жизни, в совершенное.
Когда эта божественная сила входит в человека благодаря милости, человек полностью трансформируется. Как только он полностью осознает всепроникающий характер своей внутренней Шакти, у него появляется глубокая любовь к своей жене и бескорыстные отношения с ней. В нем поднимается понимание, что перед ним не жена, а божественная Кундалини. Когда Чити проявляет Себя внутри жены, в ней возникает абсолютное доверие к своему мужу и безграничная любовь к нему, а так же и желание служить ему. Под влиянием этой силы в ней возникает полное понимание, что ее муж — это не просто мужчина, а воплощение Бога. Как только сила милости Гуру проникает в мать, вся ее жизнь наполняется радостью. Когда Шакти насыщает ее, она узнает истинную сущность своих детей. Она приобретает способность учить их мудрости, учтивости и способствовать полному проявлению их талантов. В тот момент, когда милость высшей Кундалини нисходит на нее в форме Шактипата, она наделяется способностью вести своих детей по наивысшему пути. Это не воображаемое знание, как не является оно только вымыслом Муктананды. Стих из Рудра Хридая Упанишады подтверждает эту истину: рудро нара ума нари тасмаи /пае яи намо намах — «Рудра это мужчина, Ума это женщина; восхваляй его, восхваляй ее»..

http://mainet.narod.ru

В мире временном, сущность которого - тлен,
Не сдавайся вещам несущественным в плен.
Сущим в мире считай только дух вездесущий,
Чуждый всяких вещественных перемен.   
 
История Учения
 
Около тысячи лет назад на земле Бхараты Великие Учения йоги и тантры начали приходить в упадок. Повсюду процветали идолопоклонничество, нигилизм и материализм чарваков-локаятиков, сектантство, ритуальная магия и культ чувственных наслаждений под видом тайных Учений Cахаджаяны. Недвойственные Учения об осознавании отвергались, а древние линии йоги ослабели из-за нарушенных обязательств и перестали давать реализацию. Вместо медитативной практики монахи, шраманы и брахманы пели сутры, проводили ведические ритуалы, а Высшей Дхармой считались философские диспуты и совершение предписанных обязанностей домохозяина.
Даже йоги, охваченные завистью и тщеславием, оставляли свою практику и вступали в диспуты со странствующими пандитами и, проиграв, по обычаям того времени, вынужденно оставляли практику и становились их учениками, заучивающими сутры.
Некоторые обращались к строгостям джайнизма, другие становились философами, чарваками и адживиками, третьи же истязали себя и поклонялись бездеятельной Пустоте архатов и шраваков, четвертые становились пракрита-сахаджиями и под видом недвойственных Учений тантры о естественном пути недеяния предавались наслаждениям и лени, пятые магией вызывали духов с целью обрести сиддхи.
В это время на горе Кайласа жил один садху, по прозвищу Анама Прабху (Безымянный). Он был последователем школы славного Гаудапады — великого муни, наставника Говинды3. Анама, удрученный упадком Дхармы, начал выполнять суровую тапасью ради усиления Учения Адвайты и прояснения ее на благо живых существ. Он дал обет в течение двенадцати лет жить на горе, питаясь листьями, водой и нектаром из минералов, следуя Учениям Расаяны. Он непрерывно просил Гуру и Избранное Божество (Ишта-Дэвата) прояснить на земле Истинную Дхарму, свободную от нигилизма, этернализма и двойственных концепций.
В это же время на небесах Индры к власти хитростью пришел неправедный царь — асур, совершивший сто жертвоприношений коня4. Боясь за свой трон, вот уже несколько тысяч лет как он запретил богам изучать недвойственные Учения и выполнять любые виды садханы. По его приказу закрыли храмы, не разрешали собрания и запретили даже чтения сутр. Используя свои божественные способности чтения мыслей, он пресекал даже незначительные мысли о Дхарме. А того, у кого их обнаруживали, немедленно изгоняли из мира богов и сбрасывали в нижние миры.
Тогда несколько преданных Дхарме богов, во главе со святым Шуддха Дхармой, начали возносить молитвы богам Брахма-локи о том, чтобы богами им было даровано такое Учение, которое было бы невидимо, не высказываемо в словах, не опиралось на методы, не опиралось на форму, не было заключено в мысли (ачинтья) и незаметно другим. Они просили богов Брахма-локи об Учении, которое не требовало бы икон, храмов и ритуалов, упражнений, мантр, чтения сутр или философии и которое никак нельзя было бы обнаружить в поведении, ограничить мыслями или определить словами.
Молитвы дошли до святого правителя Брахма-локи из рода Сарасвати по прозвищу Мощно Сияющий Брахма Бесконечного Света. Святой Правитель созвал на собрание своих посвящённых и спутников и объяснил им положение богов Индра-локи. Восемь родов богов посылали своих представителей на собрание: Сарасвати, Адитья, Аруна, Авьябадха, Тушита, Вахини, Армита, Гардатая. Однако, никто из них не знал такого Учения. Посовещавшись, они решили войти в глубокое самадхи и обратиться к Великим Риши Сатья-локи, чтобы те передали такое Учение, если оно имеется.
Великие Риши, услышав просьбу богов, призвали в свое сердце Махадэву в форме Саморожденного Света (Сваям Джьоти). Саморожденный Свет силой медитации Великих Риши вышел из космической утробы Золотого Зародыша (Хиранья Гарбхи). Затем они силой медитации из этого Света создали в своем мире Космическую Сферу (Брахманду), ослепительно сияющую золотым светом. Создав Брахманду, они отправили ее в мир святого правителя Брахма-локи.
Брахманда, спускаясь в мир Брахма-локи, превратилась в светящееся радужным светом Махабинду, которое содержало бесконечное множество недвойственных Учений за пределами слов, метода и медитации. Из-за того, что сияние Махабинду было очень ярким, оно разделилось на пять меньших сверкающих бинду, каждое из которых содержало один миллион недвойственных Учений за пределами метода.
Увидев ослепительное сияние Махабинду, разделившегося на пять сфер, боги, жившие в Брахма-локе, возликовали, а ее правитель по прозвищу Мощно Сияющий Брахма Бесконечного Света решил оставить одну бинду в своем мире, три распределить по мирам Брахма-локи, а одну отправить вниз в помощь молящимся богам Индра-локи. Затем все боги Брахма-локи, присутствующие в собрании, силой самадхи четвертой дхьяны передали одно бинду в помощь богам.
Сверкающее бинду находилось над небосводом в мире Индры на протяжении двенадцати дней богов. Его свет распространялся повсюду и никем не мог быть ограничен. В это время множество богов спонтанно получили передачу миллиона недвойственных Учений Лайя-йоги. Многие из них достигли абсолютной реализации и стали свободными от мира Индры, многие обрели понимание практики за пределами мыслей и метода. Неправедный царь испытал страх и раскаяние и отрекся от трона, повсюду начала расцветать Дхарма высших Учений. Боги Небес Тридцати Трех ликовали и воздавали хвалу правителю Брахма-локи, Мощно Сияющему Брахме Бесконечного Света, а правителем небес Индры стал святой, которого звали Шуддха Дхарма. Он первым реализовал все знания и стал полностью единым с Брахманом. Махабинду через двенадцать дней богов исчезло из мира Индры, растворившись в пространстве.
К этому времени в мире людей прошло двенадцать лет. Однажды в мире богов стало невыносимо жарко и они стали искать причину. Шуддха Дхарма, сосредоточившись, увидел своим божественным зрением мудреца Анаму, который за двенадцать лет уже постарел и стал изможденным от сурового тапаса, но продолжал взывать о великих наставлениях, дарующих силу Учениям и о способностях восстановить на земле Истинную Дхарму. Обладая состраданием и помня о том, как боги Брахма-локи помогали им, боги небес Индры решили помочь людям через йогина Анаму и передать Учение Лайя-йоги. Для этого сам Шуддха Дхарма, используя свои мистические способности, создал иллюзорный образ самого себя, неотличный от него, и вложил в него столько же света и мудрости. Создав образ силой медитации, он отправил его на помощь йогину Анаме.
В первый день он явился Анаме в образе Шивы-Дакшинамурти, вышедшего с южной стороны из сверкающего бинду, без слов передал ему часть Учений за пределами слов и мыслей и научил Дхарме великого недеяния и осознанности за пределами усилий, открыв Учение Праджня-янтры. В тот же миг святой Анама обрел понимание за пределами мыслей и устранил все свои иллюзии и заблуждения, происходящие из двойственности.
Во второй день Анама увидел его в облике авадхуты, похожего на Даттатрейю, который передал ему Учение Шакти-янтры и научил его недвойственному спонтанному поведению — игре (лиле) и приятию всего без деления на чистое и нечистое, приятие и отвержение. В тот же миг Анама обрел глубокую реализацию, реализовал равное отношение ко всем объектам («единый вкус») и обрел спонтанно возникающую мудрость, не привязывающуюся ни к чему.
На третий день Шуддха Дхарма явился перед Анамой в облике Гуру, который превратился в образ Адинатха и передал ему Учение о самоотдаче без желаний, надежды и страха, отбрасывающей все цепляния за обусловленное «я», он посвятил его в тайны Йога-нидры. В тот день Анама избавился от последних привязанностей к своему «я» и наполнился невыразимым блаженством. Живя на горе, он танцевал и пел в экстазе, как безумец, то смеясь, то плача.
На четвертый день Шуддха Дхарма проявился в уме Анамы как очаровывающий мистический звук Нада (Вамшанада) и передал ему тайные Учения Нада-йоги. В тот же миг Анама обнаружил, что все его двойственные мысли рассеялись, и погрузился в глубокое самадхи.
На пятый день Шуддха Дхарма явился Анаме как ослепительное сияние света и передал символами последнюю часть тайных Учений Джьоти-йоги о Полной Высшей и Окончательной Реализации — Великом Переходе в Радужное тело Света. В этот же миг Анама увидел, что вся его внутренняя энергия изменилась, а он обрел способность проходить сквозь скалы.
Получив таким образом пять полных посвящений в драгоценное Учение пяти янтр Лайя-йоги, Анама Садху пятьсот лет практиковал их днем и ночью, находясь в сахаджа-самадхи, и в конце концов реализовал Бессмертное Тело и переселился в обитель богов. Благодаря своим способностям он мог летать в пространстве, подобно птице, и в мгновение ока преодолевать миры людей и богов.
Однажды, по пути из мира богов в царство нагов, Безымянный Прабху встретил благочестивого садху Уттпалу, который следовал Учению одного из монашеских орденов того времени. Садху почитал Даттатрейю и Матсиендранатха, возносил им молитвы. Он жил одиноко в пещере, вблизи Бадринатха, и был наставником одного из храмов. Встретив его, Анама Садху увидел восемь счастливых признаков5, указывающих на благоприятные знаки их встречи, и подумал, что, сделав его учеником, принесет пользу живым существам.
Появившись перед ним, он принял облик садху. Попросив у него еды, он принял лепешку (роти) как плату (дакшину) за инициацию и передал ему благословения. Получив наставления, Уттпала ушёл медитировать на берег озера Манасаровар и оставался там двенадцать лет.
Однажды, когда Уттпала ел, пролетающая ворона уронила в его чашку с рисом особое рисовое зернышко, которое он не заметил. Съев его, он почувствовал, что получил даршан Великого Святого и все знания о Великом Растворении (Лайе) через упражнения тела (Хатха-видью) спонтанно вошли в него.
Однажды, выполняя утреннее омовение в реке, Уттпала увидел идущий из воды яркий свет и в тот же миг понял, что это свет его Гуру и от восторга и радости вошел в глубокое самадхи. Находясь в самадхи, он увидел, как множество маленьких сияющих бинду вошли в его тело, а он спонтанно обрел знание всех Учений о Великом Растворении (Лайе) через использование желаний. Когда самадхи закончилось, он вернулся в храм и попытался зажечь светильник перед статуей божества и изображением Матсиендранатха. Внезапно огонь осветился ослепительно ярким светом и озарил всю комнату, а из света появился Анама Прабху в форме божества, который затем принял облик Махадэва. Эта форма спонтанно пропела ему тайное наставление богов Брахма-локи о великом растворении в совершенном Уме, подобном пространству, через созерцание милости Великого Света (Джьоти).
Однажды он медитировал на вершине большой скалы, внезапно его подхватил порыв сильного ветра, и, закружив, мягко сбросил вниз. Упав, он ударился о землю и почувствовал, как вся его энергия наполнила срединный канал (авадхути-нади). Внезапно он почувствовал, что все знания о циркуляции ветра (вайю) вошли в него, и он может свободно управлять своей энергией, паря в воздухе.
Однажды Уттпала созерцал вечерний небосвод, выполняя шамбхави-мудру. Внезапно он увидел множество изображений божеств и их супруг. Божества заполнили небосвод с востока до запада, затем изображения соединились в одно и приняли облик Анамы Прабху, который пропел ему песню, а затем вошел в него через макушку и рот. Внезапно он обрел способность проходить сквозь скалы и спонтанно обрёл понимание наставлений ста тысяч Учений Лайя-йоги.
Передав таким образом все Учения Лайя-йоги, Анама дал своему ученику имя Махамурти за его большое, могучее тело, похожее на тело божества и, указывая на его истинную природу, благословил, сделав предсказание о его святых деяниях на благо живых существ. Благословив, он исчез, растворившись во вспышке света.
Махамурти передал это Учение ста восьми саманам и шраманам, последним из которых был йог Ачинтьянанда, прозванный Мауни (Молчащим) Бабой. Мауни Баба передал его йогу-авадхуте Ачинтье в снах и знаках. Авадхута Ачинтья передал его Вишну Деву через прямую передачу энергии (шактипатха), даршан самоузнавания и устные наставления

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Тот, кто знает Самость, никогда ничего не боится, так как вся вселенная - это его собственная форма, и никогда не печалится, так как Высший Источник всех различий неразрушаем.
Свами Муктананда