The Testament

My friend called me in the morning and offered to go to the guided tour "The castles of Western Ukraine". She is so restless, always comes up with some ideas and I usually join her grandiose plans. So I was glad to the proposal: I sat up at home; the tour’s content tour inspired me at once - I love old buildings, and there was a fabulous list of very interesting objects. I agreed without hesitation and asked about travel conditions. We will ride by a tour bus and sleep inside for two nights also. Immediately I remembered terrible road accidents that occurred this summer with  tour buses.

In fact, the question of my own death is not stunning. Anyway there was one aspect that always confused me and I did not know how to approach it.

My Testament.  The ordinary and horrible. I do have wishes about my own hard-earned means. It happened that over the years I accumulated the property that is unreasonable to leave to the only one son.
He is good fellow but still a bonehead: he is only 21 years old and definitely is not ready for such responsibility. My parents are alive, thanks to God. Anyway they are old and not business-minded.  In addition, they live with my younger sister, and we are in a state of cold war with her, or rather, complete ignoring each other
for past ten years. So my strongest wish is she gets nothing mine: nor after me, nor after our parents. Such a high-level sisters’ relationship.

"You should write a testament," – my friend advised categorically; she is a pretty wealthy person as well but there is in the balance a reliable long-playing husband, the business owner, and she is his chief-bookkeeper. I am two in one: the horse and the bull ...

The more I thought about my last wish, the more spoiled mood I had. From purely economic issues, I shifted to aesthetic and organizational. "I do not want commemoration. It is a stupid tradition to eat and drink a lot on the occasion of the person’s death. Honestly, I do not want to notify anybody. My parents and my son are the only people I want to see next to my tomb. After all they can inform my close friends (I counted as many as three persons) and a couple of men I had feelings to in this life. About music. Please, do not order this terrible funeral march! My son can put my favorite song «The winner takes it all» by ABBA, - reaching this point I burst into tears...

Touched deeply I went to the kitchen and dripped valerian generously. The desire to go to work and earn some addition to means that I could not properly divide disappeared. A heavy stone question lay on me: what for I still work instead of skipping own excesses happily? I phoned to my boss and complained with a sluggish voice about blood pressure – I am lying as a rag. The boss sympathized and wished to recover as soon as possible. "Right now, - I thought – I shall spend
my probably last years on your business. I have to go into a non-refundable vacation "- was my decision. I did not recall about castles.

I started to make a list of cherished desires that I had in my lifetime. It turned out that there were only two dreams that I wanted to implement but for various reasons I could not.

First one was to enlarge my breasts. The fact of mystical worship to big tits from men side always excited me. I was ready to inhale chloroform and lay under the surgical knife in order to understand how it is to be Pamela Anderson. Firstly I was stopped by price. Later the stories that silicone can explode on the plane scared me. Actually, I was going to travel a lot around the world. Time passed and my chest rose to a pretty seductive neckline. So the bust blossomed, and the issue faded...

The second wish was romantic: to kiss passionately on the Eiffel Tower in Paris. Naturally, with a beloved man. The dream was born when I was very young, very fragile girl and madly in love with a fellow journalist. Plus I was poor as a church mouse. Love, of course, passed. Fragility with poverty over the years moved to other romantic ladies (there are some ladies who until retirement remain  romantic and church-poor – that is a horror!). So I did not visit Paris. Although I could do it many times. Firstly,  I  was waiting for a kiss’s candidate to do it on the piercing wind at a height of 200 m from the ground. Later I assumed that "to see Paris and to die" of frustration is not the best end for the dream of youth.

According to the "wanted-fulfilled" list my life was not so bad. Well, it did not work with a personal life. Why, in fact, it did not work? I had had relations and there were magical moments - I still cannot admit openly: could I exchange my  whirlwind romances to a quiet family life? I always wanted another baby.
But already grown son recently brought a blonde myself acquainted. Lesya. "Elk and Foxy" – I gave them such nick names at once because my son got high. One day I shall have grand-kids.

So what to do with the testament? My dreams about fuzzy-grand-kids distracted me totally from the question of “life and death”. My death. "Stupid girl" – I thought about myself. - "What about a son’s wedding?  To grow up grand-kids, to study them? You do not wait for my death - as an old Jew replied to the greeting "How are you?"” I need to cook today borsch because Elk and Foxy will come hungry from work. Tomorrow I shall go to work myself. The chef will be delighted. I  have to make money for the wedding, for the christening, for a decent kindergarten and a school ... Wow, a horse and a bull, you need to plow a lot! "

As for a notary,  I shall call her to ask advices about the testament anyway. Maybe I shall do it tomorrow, maybe the day after tomorrow. When I shall be in a proper mood. If I am not, then I shall think about it later. One day.