To Hunt a Predator

1.

He walks in circles around me. He sets traps. He is a wolf. He feels extraction and performs his eternal ritual: you are a victim, I am your executor. I feel that I am hunted. So I prepare for the defense as Kiev’s Rus against the Tatars: fortifications, army and military cunning.

However, the beginning was very ordinary.

- Polina Vladimirovna*, I am calling you on behalf of my chief. He would like to meet you to discuss possible cooperation.

I ask a standard question (a good habit to "monitor" the client):

- How did he know about me?

- You were recommended to him by a common acquaintance.

- Can you tell me the name?

- I can`t. Eduard Eduardovich* will do it for sure.

(* The respectful form in Russian and Ukrainian are name and patronymic formed from the father's name).

"Eduard Eduardovich " - what a vulgarity! His mother was clinically dependent on her husband, his father. From there this neurolinguistic programming: son is a copy of a father (even by name). Later she was deeply disappointed for the dedication. The son, surely, had a child’s psychological trauma. OK, I have data to think about it.

I appear in the office of "Halabud" at the scheduled time. It is a construction company that builds apartment houses. In local media there were some more or less loud scandals about the illegally occupied plots for constructions. Nevertheless, the main person is not very public. I do not know him. Well, that is a chance to get acquainted.

In the Eduard’s cabinet I was met by triumvirate: the owner himself and two ladies. One was an older person with a sleek face and scanning eyes. The other was young and with softer facial features. The aging bon vivant with gray temples and surprisingly pleasant smile was a boss. After protocol acquaintance and an order "tea-coffee" to a secretary a pause hanged in a room. Three pairs of eyes treated me familiarly. I glided indifferently on the light walls, slightly squinting at diplomas in glass frames. Naturally, I do not see what is written there, but this is a standard technique to pull time.

- Polina Vladimirovna – Eduard finally turned to me – You were recommended to me as a good professional, who can help us to release our printed products. We have worked with the advertising agency "The Orange" but the results did not suit me. I have seen examples of your work at Maxim Viktorovich (he named the director of a company I carried out several orders in the last year for). I'd like something like that. Not in the sense similar to their catalogs and brochures but in the meaning of the same flight of fantasy that you have shown. To be honest, I was pleasantly surprised - Eduard gave me a soft smile.

I quickly calculate in mind the psycho of the customer and stop on a version of the presentation "The discreet charm of the bourgeoisie with the elements of urban eclecticism." It seems the man  though a constructor has pretensions to artistic taste. So I can safely charge the ideas of the Swedish creatives that work in this field. Apropos, I have a very positive attitude to the competent plagiarism: I process creatively other people's good ideas and get the product that Eduard correctly called "a flight of fantasy". To be honest, fantasies are not mine. I am an author of talent variations.

The next fifteen minutes I was broadcasting how and what I could offer to a new customer. Eduard was flipping with interest a presentation accompanied by my babbling voice. I had six other folders with presentations in my case that I carry always in for various psycho-clients). The ladies got the same presentation (one for two) and flipped it sitting tightly. I know that a potential customer understood little of what I said but my main task was to impress, inspire confidence and cause a desire to continue to work with me in a specific direction.

- Polina Vladimirovna, it's all very interesting - Eduard finally interrupted me - I think you need to work with Agnessa Vladimirovna. She is in charge of public relations (female scanner faltered her facial muscles at those words and depicted a similarity of smile). Please, prepare your suggestions and we will discuss again our cooperation. Irina Vladimirovna, my assistant, ha ha, here is gathered all Vladimirovnas – a man made a joking remark - also can answer your questions.

Together with Agnessa we came out of the director's cabinet and went to work in her room. By my momentary forecast there was work for a month and financial results could feed me at least six months. Well, I'll try to do my best!

2.

A month passed.  The scope of work I originally planned for the company was already fulfilled and overfulfilled. It turned out that in addition to catalogs and booklets, we discussed in the beginning, the company "Hhalabud" needed almost the entire spectrum of promotional products, including pens, notepads with logo and even wall calendars with advertising of their buildings. I was overwhelmed with work. The customer appeared to be a sane person, easily picking up the subject of new ideas. He listened to my profile mini-lectures with interest: I told him about current trends of advertising and marketing and stories from history of art. The budget of our co-operation easily increased in proportion to the increasing volume of my work. The company was solvent and I fluttered like a butterfly flying happily from one creative idea to an another.

At the end of the third week Eduard offered me a job in the state (on my terms in salary) but I easily refused proud of my fundamental right to freedom of creativity and entrepreneurship. I explained that I am innately impulsive and unable to work within strict limits (ie, by schedule and in a team). However, I agreed to have a temporary shelter in a small glass room, where I could hang in Apple with the next idea time by time.

A couple of times creative inspiration covered me at a very late hour. It turned out that Eduard was also a workaholic and left the office almost last. My glass room located on the way from the director's cabinet to the exit door.  Every time he found me working hardly in a graphics editor he was very kind to offer me a ride home. I did not refuse. Along the way, we had a nice chat about art. I told him funny stories about famous artists and architects. He easily picked up every joke and retorted pleasantly. I enjoyed a pleasant mix of flavors in the car: the smell of expensive leather upholstery and a light aroma of Italian perfume forced my olfactory receptors to tremble.

Leather, sandalwood and a cold note of ginger calmed me and lulled. It was a pity to leave this oasis of comfort when his 300 Mercedes gently stopped by my house. Google confided that such car, even taking into account depreciation and other age-cons pulls a hundred and fifty thousand American dollars. Such show-off I personally respect.

So a month passed, and I found that mired hard in "Halabud" hung with orders like a palm tree with coconuts.

Why am I relaxed and missed the moment when I  became for him a wildfowl? Well, I immediately identified his Don Juan’s feathers but he was reserved in communication. Perhaps I did not answer his criteria of female appeal? Fewer problems! After all how many forces in my life I spent on running away from unneeded relations!

Further, he was surrounded by two devoted as bodyguards of Saddam Hussein ladies – Irina and  Agnessa. It allowed me to conclude that there was a serious struggle for influence on Eduard’s  mind and, apparently, heart. I did not have time to look under covers (figuratively speaking) to find out who of them was a mistress, or both were. I just put a tick in the "mistress" in the empirical records of that man.

And finally, he had a family. A cute blonde wife (younger than me!) housewifed in a cozy house. The only child, a cheerful toddler of five years old was late and, of course, beloved child of a businessman. Generally, according to my calculations Eduard had a complete set of satisfactions, so I could relax. From his side towards to me there were no compliments, nor vulgarity, nor even banal pickup of elbow on the stairs. The Autumn Rhapsody and only. Full freedom for my creative ambitions and moderate avarice.

3.

A bolt from the blue sounded when I was staying in only slips* in the Atlantic’s fitting room. In one hand I was holding a snow-white push-up* suited fantastically to a lace miracle on my hips, in the other – a Samsung smartphone pulled out of the bag. White gadget was demanding an answer. On the display it shows the word "Khizhnyak"** (the last name EE). Wow, Eduard personally calls me. I pulled sensor "reply" by a finger.

(* Slips is a model of women's panties, push-up is bras that lifts the bust.
** the last name of EE came from Ukrainian word “predatory”).

- Hello, Polina, do we have difficulties with the registration of our trade mark? - The chief’s pleasant voice asked me on the phone.

- No, not at all. It was a small misunderstanding but I think we'll settle. – I diplomatically dodged the opportunity to avenge “dragonfly” Kristina. The arrogant young lawyer screwed up with the registration of trade mark which I created for the company. Once I was inspired to issue the logo with nice buildings holding hands. Buildings were of different heights and symbolized the family. Eduard was delighted with the idea. He dreamed of building a complex the size of several quarters and promoted his constructor’s plans with the tenacity of the tank in the city administration. His friendly deputies of the city council lobbied the process of allocating land in the city area.

Kristina has submitted documents for registration in the Patent Office but not for a brand that includes a picture and name of the company together but only for drawing logo. Two big differences – I would say. Finding a lawyer’s "gaffe" I demanded her to alter documents and submit a new application. Kristina resisted because she did not like to admit her mistakes. Also she did not want to take on her account the financial damage caused by the re-submission of documents. Upon reflection, I went to Agnessa for advice because I knew that Eduard is quick-tempered and if I directly told him the circumstances of lawyer’s mistake she could be punished seriously. Apparently Agnessa decided to bring up to the boss information that she received from me. And here it is, the boss’s call.

- I probably did not explained to Kristina clear what is necessary to register – I played up to Eduard  having decided that he would not be anger on me. – She has to fill out again an application and pay the fees and charges because it is impossible the reverse once submitted documents. But there is a small amount. In a result you will have  a registered trade mark and a logo too (that is practically useless - I thought but did not say out).

- So you think that ...

- Everything will be fine. Do not worry, Edward Eduardovich. - I interrupted my interlocutor being more engrossed by my reflection in a big mirror than by our conversation.

There  were nothing but lace panties on the body. In a free hand I hold bras. "Pretty!" - I approved myself turning hips and sticking out bare chest. The thought what would be the reaction of the caller if he learned how I look like now forced me to smile. The next moment I understood that the phone in my hand kept silent.

- Hello, can you hear me? - I asked playfully, and finally realized that the last phrases were uttered by strangely altered voice. I froze. My God, I have to issue such modulation which I obtaine inadvertently only in moments of acute sexual interest! I flirted brazenly.

- Yes, Polina, I'm glad we do not have a problem as such. - The chief replied dully.

- Goodbye, - I mumbled and turn off the phone.

The discovery I made required of thinking. I dressed quickly, paid for expensive lingerie lace set and rushed home. Coffee with milk, a bar of dark chocolate broken into pieces, dip into my favorite "thinking arm chair" - and the process of deep introspection begun. Facts of last days lined up into unrelenting evidence base. What did I do in my spare time? I rushed to shops, buying a fresh arsenal of seduction: cosmetics, underwear, shoes with heels, some unthinkable expensive for my budget dresses and costumes in business casual style. Cosmetologist, massage therapist, manicurist, barber were visited during one week. I dyed hair in a new tone and made eyelashes biowaving. In principle, I had done nothing especial for a modern woman. But the fact that all this was done in such a short time told about non-standard situation. And more. I started  to come into the office "Halabud" in dresses and on heels! Firstly I showed up there and demonstrably different from full-time employees by independent snickers-denim style. I completely ignored the office dress code after my first visit in an image of good pupil-girl:  pencil skirt, white blouse and shoes with low heels.

The conclusion was killing for me: I carried away seriously. Eduard imprinted on my heart.  Who? That successful, smug alpha male hung with women! Where was my brain? The brain said nothing in response shamefacedly.
That day I did not go to "Halabud". I did not go there the next two days too.

4.

On the fourth day the phone rang. In the middle of the day I reclined in bed surrounded by pillows and slowly sipped hot Gl;hwein from a glass cup. The drink was generously flavored with cinnamon.

On the plasma in The Animal Planet program males of big animals rampaged competing for their females. Such shows always responded to my vile mood during attacks of misanthropy. Cell ringtone rang at that moment when I grimly watched the scene where hefty male zebra thrashed the face of another male by front hooves. The female peacefully nibbled grass nearby, waving her scanty tail.

Yes, - I muttered knowing that Eduard’s assistant Irina, was calling.

- Hello, Polina Vladimirovna. Do you happen to get sick? - She asked sympathetically.

- What makes you think that I'm sick? - The answer had no tone of benevolence.

- You did not show up in the office for three days. The chief wondered why.

- Actually, I am not working in your company! - I felt that a bit more and I can scream at innocent Irina.

- Polina Vladimirovna, Eduard Eduardovich asked you to come to the office today. – The interlocutor informed  softly. - He will be waiting for you at five o'clock.

- I will. - I answered briefly and turn off the phone.

Shower, strong coffee, a painful choice”: what image to take for the decisive conversation. I stopped at “careless indifference”. Hair scattered randomly over my shoulders, a pale makeup emphasizing my eyes with panda shadows (three nights slept badly). A feminist, an amazon, "a horror, flying on night wings" - I intended to be very asexual - nothing has to prevent me to bring the situation to its logical conclusion. My cooperation with "Halabud" should be stopped. The end.

- How do you feel, Polina? - Eduard showed concern and was obviously nervous.

I said nothing. I would not be fooled by false sympathy. I began to stair on wall diplomas like the first day we met. I knew already content of it but my eyes continued to walk along the walls, as in search of something new.

- Polina, I need your help. - Eduard continued his monologue ignoring my silence. - It happened that I spontaneously decided to participate in a construction exhibition that will be held in a month in the capital. So we are in a difficult situation: we do not have enough promo materials. Of course, we have some your catalogs and booklets but it is not enough. Most important, we do not have our stand prepared. I would like it to be with our new trade mark. And we need to teach personnel who will be on the stand. Also we need business cards, flyers, gift baskets - the whole range of advertising products that should be on the exhibition. I would like you care also about promo video about our company. We could show it on our stand and give it to the organizing committee to spin on its video screens. Polina, I understand that it  is force majeure situation. Only you can arrange it properly. I assign you to help as many people as you needed and I will take part actively in the works. Of course, at this time our contract is special: 50% surcharge for  the urgency. Polina, - his voice quivered - help me, please.

I sat stunned. It was a huge, gorgeous piece of work where I could open my talents and inspiration completely. And he offered it to me in that day when I had to stop our cooperation. I stared into his eyes, now they did not smile, but asked, begged me for help.

Eureka! That was a "mine" that blew my heart. Eduard has gray eyes of unusual hue. Nor blue-gray, changing the color from light, and nor gray-green, reminding over laundered hacks. He had dark gray like wet asphalt eyes. Such color I saw only once in a lifetime. My painfully died friend had such eyes.
- I'll do everything. - I agreed briefly and got up to leave the director's office. Eduard emerged from an arm-chair, came up to me and held out his hand. I automatically handed him a hand, he squeezed easily my fingers, then leaned over and kissed my hand. When he looked up, we met again the eyes, and I understood everything.

All those time he walked in circles around me. He sat traps. He is a wolf. He felt extraction and performed his eternal ritual: you are a victim, I am your executor. I felt that I was hunted. So I have to prepare for the defense as Kiev’s Rus against the Tatars: fortifications, army and military cunning.

5.

I can say without exaggeration that following three weeks were the happiest days that I have already lived, and perhaps ever live in my life. I shall remember forever the sparkling state of happiness, when amorousness and longing of the body combined with the creativity and hyperactivity.
We have organized a working group to prepare for the exhibition. It includes me, Agnessa, Irina, it-man Kostya, and of course, Eduard. There were more people outsourced, which appear and disappear as we needed them: girls from a local modeling agency "Michel", trained to be puppets at the stand, the crew of private TV station that filmed for us a promo video.

We probably looked like a gang of teenagers dispersed: laughter, jokes, violent disputes over trifles, and hard work together on common objectives. Our headquarters was located in the meeting room, from where a huge table was carried out and we got free space for team work.

Eduard, who was joining us regularly, as a rule, by the end of the day, literally transformed. Firstly, he has adopted our new dress code. Imperceptibly we all switched to jeans and T-shirts because it was more convenient to work in.  When the director came in jeans and a plaid cowboy shirt, we stared at that phenomenon for a minute. Then he immediately became a part of us - not a boss but the same bully-boy frolicking during a preparation of a student skit. He even looked younger, infectiously laughed and all the time tried to stay close to me.

I enjoyed every opportunity to take a look at his firm back nicely covered by jeans. A couple of times he caught my eyes and I blushed to the tips of my ears like a schoolgirl. He only smiled in response, and I encouraged by such connivance continued from time to time to admire the back of the director's body. Every time we were the last of the group to leave the office. He drove me to my home. On our way we usually talked nothing. As for me, when I sat down to the passenger seat I immediately lost the ability to express my thoughts coherently. Well, there were almost no thoughts in my brain befuddled by endorphins. He used to kiss my hand when we part and for a few seconds held in his hand my trembling palm. Nothing more.

6.

I was coming back to my bachelor cozy apartment, where every square centimeter of usable area was equipped with love that involved a considerable waste of honestly earned money. Everything was functionally intended to create a feeling of comfort and security for me, a hostess. It seems, the most surprising element of the interior could happen the other living person. For him nor place, nor time frame have not been scheduled. In sterile clean the kitchen I put the whistling kettle and go into the bathroom to open water. A water begin rhythmically fill the pink color Jacuzzi fitted to Spanish tiles. White clouds with the scent of lavender foams. After sandwich and strong black tea for a modest supper, I was immersing in the bath and beginning to fantasize. About him.

In a woman he loves the most ... fingers. Well, he loves everything else too. But fingers are  something special. He can iterate, stroke pads, feel phalanxes, compress palm and can kiss each finger separately or all hand entirely. He can take both woman's hands and bury his face in opened hands, close his eyes and feel the subtle aroma of vanilla: childhood, buns, Mommy. He would caress my fingers as long and gently, as I am exhausted by his tenderness pull my thirsty body to him.

He would make me a relaxing massage. I lie down in front of him. My back shimmers with soft light of skin: slightly protruding blades, the line of spine, slowly descending down and then comes up to wonderful priests. He straddles my buttocks and stretches his hands to my back. The palms are warm but I shudder under their gentle press and covers with small bumps. He strokes  slowly and displaces chills from my skin. My strain back gradually relaxes and then becomes completely soft and loose; he plunges his hands into me and feels as my body is pulsing and flowing under his hands. It is an amazing feeling but he is frightened that has penetrated too deeply;  sp he carefully removes his hands and put them back to the surface. He inclines, barely touches the skin and begins to palp the smooth surface by his lips. Finally, curiosity takes over and he tries my taste by his tongue...

"Save me, my grey-eyed Love from grey days and grey nights" ** - Sasha Ponomarev’s tearing voice permanently sounds as a refrain in my head. I have no doubt that it is exactly the gray-eyed love that could save me from the monotony of everyday life.

7.
Two weeks before the exhibition Irina (looking me in eyes) reported "secretly" that the hotel rooms for our group were already booked. All crew will live in "The Ambassador" hotel located near the exhibition center "Expoplaza". Eduard would stay separately from our team in the rented apartment in "The Senator Maidan" that is in the heart of the capital. "It is insanely expensive apartment" - Irina stated  tragically but I pretended I missed her remark. Honestly, I did not care to his former and future lovers: Carpe diem - live for the present.

I continued to work on the preparation for the exhibition with redoubled enthusiasm. Individual fragments of work like pieces of mosaics consisted in a beautiful picture: the company "Halabud" would be presented solidly at the national level show.

A week before the exhibition Eduard was driving me home and finally started the long-awaited conversation:

- Polina, we will be in the capital a week later.

I smiled silently.

- You have done a great job, I'm really happy with what we were able to achieve - my counterpart continued prologue to the main topic - but the main thing I wanted to say ... - here he paused, as wondering whether all cards of this uncomplicated game to open - I dream (pause again) that these days, more clear these nights, you will spend with me.

He gibbered:

- I rented a very decent apartment. All is perfect. Believe me, your privacy will be respected. We are adult people. I do not allow myself to drop a shadow on your reputation.

I continued to sit silently with idiotic smile on my face; the magical mirage
just crumbled into fine dust.

Polina, I dare to hope? - Eduard demanded from me a clear answer. He detained my hand at parting longer than usual.
- Of course, yes, - I nodded and disappeared into the stairwell my home.

8.

We were departing to the exhibition at different times. The main group went on the eve by the night train. I decided to go alone later having important things to fix. The chief went by his car. The last couple of days before the trip were so hectic that I absolutely had no time to stop and think about my future steps. Only sitting in a chair of the airplane that took to the skies over the international airport, I was finally able to relax internally and imagine the reaction of all the story’s participants when they realized that I slipped out at the last moment.
 
I did not leave my hunter a chance to change his tactics if he felt the victim was trying to outwit. I "naively" went straight to him calming my predator by a thought that the victim was almost in his paws.

My plan of escape was born almost immediately after the remembered conversation about preparations for the exhibition. It was pretty easy to fulfill it. I earned in "Khalabud" more than enough money to realize an old dream: to go to France for several months to learn French language. The school for foreigners in a long before chosen Provence offered a full board and the excellent program for learning the language with an emphasis in art history. The specificity of the school was the opportunity to join the study at any time and no restrictions about the quantity of students. I prepaid for a three-month course by bank transfer in Euros. By e-mail I got along with the notification about my payment received  also a sample curriculum plus  detailed instruction how to get from Charles de Gaulle in Paris to small Aix-en-Provence and the bunch of useful information about the specifics of a foreigner’s staying in the country of Voltaire and Montaigne.

"Tomorrow at seven twenty two I shall be in Borispol
Sitting in a plane and thinking of the pilot.
For he lands off good and down well
Somewhere in Paris, and then a little further there is Provence "- this song by Yolka was for me kind of semantic beacon during the past month. And now I was sitting in that plane and fondly thinking of the pilot that took me from not happened love and deep disappointment in future if I had an “affair” with charming, wealthy and married man.

I was excited about trips to the cities around the south of France and to Paris, visits to museums and exhibitions, theaters and lectures on the history of French culture. I was happy to meet my group of disparate students from around the world to make new friends and useful contacts. About personal case. Well, it was so. "The right for freedom is equal to the duty for loneliness". That time I did not change to my own rigid rule derived by painful mistakes in past. It only meant that the right time had not come yet. When it was, I would remember my other but main rule: “Do not follow any rules”.