Á. Ñîòíèêîâ Ðóññêàÿ ëþáîâü ïåðåâîä íà àíãëèéñêèé ÿ

Three years have passed. For some time I was remembering Mashenka, but then new affairs, new life overshadowed her. It was only in 1954, that I remembered about her, when  was sent to serve in the North. Genka remained almost at the same place – he was transferred to Kirovobad, before we served near Tbilisi. There were no Russian girls there, so, we remained bachelors.  In addition, I was at a narrow escape from death in one of the night flights and decided not to hurry with this matter, so as not to leave orphans behind.
     And, finding myself in transit in Moscow, I was sitting, bored, in the Leningrad railway station waiting hall. I was unaware what had pushed me to this unexpected move – either Mashenka’s face, suddenly clearly seen by me, or that hillside, cried over by the autumn rains, on which she was standing, only everything gnawed in me since that minute, the soul was overturned by the revelation that I myself liked Mashenka, and the decision to go to her came irrevocably. Some 100 kilometers, after all.
      By the evening I was already walking along the familiar village and looking into the windows. A woman with a fagot band on the back passed by. She slowed her step, looked at me from under her palm and went further.  As in those times, the cold fresh wind was blowing , making naked oak trees on the far hillsides The sky above, seeming already frozen, was in the light tinges of clouds, through which one could see the bottomless blueness, resembling Mashenka’s eyes. My breath hitched.
      Here is a blackened well with the crane, stretching its neck to the sky. I peeped – cold there, as in the ice hole. What is awaiting me there?..
     Vasilisa’s wooden house came into view. Everything here seemed, as before. I opened the familiar wicket, crossed the yard and climbed the porch. Now – only to knock…And my heart had also knocked loudly.
It was quiet rather long. Then in the depth of the house slight noise was heard, as if somebody was getting up from the bed, shuffled slowly and already was breathing heavily behind the door, moving the bolt away.
– Oh, my God! Lexey Ivanich! – Vasilisa gasped, – only moustaches have added, and the new little star, hasn’t it? – and cried, pressing herself to me with the heavy shoulder, embracing with the dark, wrinkled hands.
– Oh, there, there, Vasilisa Kirillovna! – I whispered, feeling that something begins to pinch in my nose, and everything deadens inside me. – I am alive, alive, meet me! – I looked around the cold, unheated hallway.
– Oh, really, what’s up with me? Come in, deer. Come in, Lexey Ivanich. Glad I am! So glad!. And Marya will be glad. Such happiness for us, didn’t even dream of it! Since the time, when husband hasn’t returned from the war, we hadn’t expected anybody. And suddenly…Why haven’t  you informed us? I should… But it’s nothing… I’ll be quick, I… For such a guest!.. – She again cried.
– Don’t worry, Vasilisa Kirillovna, don’t –  I said, looking around the room. – I have bought everything – here it is! – I have put my valise on the bench, bought in Minsk, not to come with empty hands.
– Take off your clothes, son, take your military coat off. – She fumbled beside me, not knowing what to begin with. – I will now put fire into the ovenl  It will be warm…
– See? We have met! – I said happily. – Well, how do you live here? Tell me everything.  Where is Masha?.
Vasilisa’s joy vanished.
– I let her marry this summer, such a fool! – She said, dropping her head into the pinafore, again sobbing, and sat down on the bench near my valise.
– Why are crying? You should be glad, – I pronounced in a strange voice, feeling that the last bachelor hope had been broken inside me.
– How could I not crying? She – was all the time picking up your red scarf to her face.   . She would take it from the drawer – thinking that I didn’t see it – and pokes her nose into it, like a kitten. She would smell it, kiss and again hide it. Once I got it without her, sniffed and found that it really smelled. With some perfumes. Just a little bit but still smells. See what a thing, you forgot it then, and for her – it is a memory about you… You may take it now.
– Why? I’ve got another one now.
– Well,  let it remain then, – Vasilisa consented easily. And explained: – Marya now too, when quarrels with him, comes to me – and immediately – to the drawer… Probably, not necessary to deprive her of this joy… She’s got no other joy.
– Isn’t she happy? – It broke from me almost gladly.
– What kind of happiness is it!.. – Vasilkisa waved her hand. May be, you remember Grishka Yeremeyev? Though, you can’t, of course… it was after you, when he returned from the army – the son of our book keeper, so irresponsible, not independent. And immediately, just as appeared, saw my Mashka. !0 years older. But put his eyes on her, and all there was to it.
      I didn’t want him, true to God, I didn’t! And stingy, in addition. Ready to sell all for money. But Marya herself decided everything… I was being ill all the time .Legs were failing me,  swollen, like bollards.  Our affairs were going from bad to worse, the cow had died, to add to our grief – the other cow pierced its side almost to the interior. So Masha decided to solve all our misfortunes with one move. She talked me, the fool, into believing that she was going to marry by her own will. Well, but one can’t complain of one’s own foolishness!
– Well, did he take her to the town?, – I asked dejectedly.
– No, they live here, with his father. The fifth house from the end, under the iron roof, may be, you had paid attention? A rich house, they live well. Yet every house is good for its master. And Grishka doesn’t work in the collective farm, beats about the bush after the army.  A pure idler. Says, he needs the rest! I know what “rest” he plans:  to the town. The documents – he’s got. Will take away my darling, there will be nobody to protect her! – Vasilisa was telling me all, as it was, blowing her nose and sobbing. –  He’s got a sharp temper, and of course, understands that  had  felled the fir tree, not equal to him, and is afraid that she would run away from him. She doesn’t even get pregnant from him, but could he realize that she had no place to go? She would do it gladly but where to? Who will need her now? And she spoils her looks because of all this.
      As it is well known, the news in the villages spread very quickly. Hardly had Vasilisa managed to tell me all, as Mashenka had flown into the cottage with a quiet joyful light in the eyes. She saw me, was about to rush to me, but stopped half-way. Whether she became confused or weaned – I didn’t understand… And at once cried, like her mother.
–         Come, come, Mashenka, dear! – I came up to her, embraced, feeling inside some  tremor. – Well, how are you!..
             And then, as if feeling something In me, she kissed me on the lips. Confused, she pressed herself to my chest with the hot cheek. And then tore herself away and headlong –  out of the cottage…
– Where are you, Masha? – I shouted.
– She will come back, – Vasilisa said, she ran out to cry. – And added anxiously.  – Don’t ask her much about her marriage, not necessary to upset her.
And really, Masha was crying. I saw, how she was shaking, with her nose in the wall… Vasilisa came out to her, and I heard her deaf, chilled voice:
– Well, there, there, that will do! Go to the house, nothing to be done now. ..
       Masha returned , but to my surprise, not in tears but somehow enlightened, as if happy. Vasilisa followed her, stepping with her heavy, swollen legs. And only then I saw, how she had changed during this time and grew old ahead of time.
        Mashenka changed too, but I couldn’t make out, for the best, or for the worst. As if became more womanly, facile, desirable, and at the same time, had lost something from the past: there was no longer her nice clearness in the eyes, though the face remained, as before, fresh and beautiful. And she has cut her plaits.
       I looked at a water- color portrait on the wall, painted by Genka, and understood in what exactly Mashenka was better. She was happier then. Genka is really a good painter, he saw not only features, but the soul too.
      My heart for some reason gnawed and gnawed. And a little vexation added to it… I pulled out a present for Mashenka from my valise – beautiful lacquer pumps, and they appeared small for her. How much joy was before, hot and, as seemed, loving glances, and suddenly – with the face in the pillow and again tears, already real bitter and inconsolable.
As  to Vasilisa, I seemed to please her, presenting  with a big flowery kerchief, which elderly women like to wear in the villages She was happy and grateful for the present. And still asked sternly:
– Why have you wasted so much money on us, we are no relatives… – and pressed her lips mournfully, either thinking, or knowing something, and now reproaching me for that.
      It was necessary to explain everything somehow, and I said:
– I am leaving to serve in the North, Vasilisa Kirillovna, let it be a keepsake,
– Well, thank you, Lexey Ivanich! Thank you that you had not forgotten us, remembered. We shan’t forget you either. As to your being late a little, is not our fault. There was no news from you. – She again raised the pinafore to the eyes and, restraining from tears, went to the kitchen.
        I was glad that Mashenka heard nothing in her room. I was burning with shame that Vasilisa so simply and easily understood all that I couldn’t understand in myself alone, though she didn’t rebuke me. She referred to the fact of my “being late” true to life: if it didn’t  turn out, as it should, there was no need to say something, life is a difficult thing, impossible to understand everything in time. But to act indecently behind the legal husband’s back, whatever he was, – impossible too. That was why she was so stern. I understood it, and it hurt me, I was ashamed and felt sorry simultaneously, both for myself and Mashenka. And the thought flicked: “How unlucky I am!..”
        Mashenka appeared from her room. I asked her, so as not to be silent and not to betray my state:
– How did you learn that I have come?
She suddenly smiled:
– It is, as is usual with us: women whispered nose to nose, and the news was spreading in the village. And moustaches become you! Just like Lermontov!
      I became confused under her fixed stare. – Her glance was somehow new, in which there was either surprise, or admiration, and I kept silent, forgetting what else I was going to ask her.
       Then the three of us were sitting at the table, and I was retelling, how was living all these years. I told them that some of our fellows, whom they knew, were no longer alive. Women again sobbed a little, drank with me “for their memory” and eyed me, Vasilisa with pity, Mashenka –  with the inner quiet, joyful light. It was slowly getting dark outside.
   To be continued