Northern lights

Snegurchenko Vladimir
PLAY
THE NORTHERN LIGHTS

Bags under my eyes. Dawn greets me and speaks with the same as me . My eternal companion, the brain, soaked in modernity and  stamps of history, and me, who seems higher than Buddha, higher and more spiritual, than The Gautama Buddha.
...
I draw cream of events and lick the foam of the day.
Down in the night, up to the roof of  wisdom, where my secret muse rests, sleeps like a fat swine queen , like a butterfly in the cocoon.
Antenna… antenna… radio signals.
Twenty-story building under my feet…
Gautama, I’m higher than you.
Drink some drug, Gautama!
………………..
I’ve been sleeping for 20 years
and every bullet is a bullet of the treasure of nation
Off the coasts of Equator, on the chest,
the chest on the tortoise shell.
I’m flooding Indonesia with whiskey of sweat and lust!
With doses of psychedelics and joy of excursions into Gautama’s possessions.

Rivers! Turn back!
Minutes are dropping like the hail, Minutes strew hail
They are making famine on wheat fields.
Eat The Stalin, eat The Stalin, brothers!

Look, infants have moved from the womb to the stomach!
Look! Unborn infants have moved from the womb to the stomach!

Eat The Stalin, sons of the bitch!

And, what the mother has to do?
An-n-nd an-nd
Virgin Mary
An-n-nd an-n-nd
What a woman has to do with Hitler in her womb?
What a woman has to do with a little Hitler in her womb?

And  I’m awakening, I’m awakening!
20 years have passed!
Mother!
 20 years!
And I am already old!
Mother!
I am an unbelievably oldman.

Rotten story, Mother, I’m just 20, but I’m older than you.

It was too much life for them.
Everyone born in love must die at 20,for not to wake up

– Mummy, I am a little Hitler
– Sleep, sonny, tomorrow you’ll go to school

The son went to school…
and found a school of spiritual improvement.
Spiritual improvement from A to Z
The school’s top is the skill
to make gloves of human skin,
the art to create gloves of human skin.

– Mum, I am a little Hitler
– Sleep, darling. Daddy was killed, now you’ll be as father instead.

Love me, son, I’m your
muuuMmyyy_ muuuMmyyyyy_
I am your Motherland!
Love me, baby, in all positions!
I am your Motherland!

Incest is the God’s grace, sonny.

………………. Happy babies are born of incest.…………………………………………….

And you, darling, were born in the same way_  you will be the happiest, I promise you….
I promise you……

I Promise_

- Mum, and what is the war?
- War, sonny, is when someone


………. fucks you and you appeal to Hague Tribunal, because they didn’t satisfy you,.……….


– Mum, and what is Hague Tribunal?
– Sleep, son.

Don’t you know that Minutes drop like the hail,
The days pour like rain
And the years lay down like haze.

sleEe_Ee_Ee_ P
and you’ll seeee The North_th_thern Lights.
And mummy will kiss you all your body through everywheeeeere,,,        everywhere,,,             everywhere,,,
And you’ll grow the richest and the most loved and hap_P_py! And you’ll feed your mummy, and take care of her when she’ll become o_OL_L_LD.               
                For what I’m bringing you up? For what?
In order for you to  lo_ove your Mummy. And tell her abo_O_out everything!
                ‘Cause I’m your Mummy. ‘Cause I’m your Mummy. Muuumm_ Myyyyy.

20 years, Mum… I began to shave… I’ve returned from Afghan (Vietnam)…
I’m alive and wanna hug you.


Mummy taught me how to make French kiss,
And she told me all about her intimate places, about all her charms,
she called them so, – “the charms”!

Mum says, that earlier I was a little monkey and then became a human being.
               
…But I’ve grown to a fat motherfucker (bastard)…

But I was!    Very!    Nice!    In my childhood! 

A nice
little monkey.
Mummy’s monkey.
All the kids are very nice
 little monkeys,
hippos and puppies
 in their childhood.

The first word
                I have learned
     was  I want, and the
  second was    Mom.

But

                ……..…In my 20 I left my Mother, left her forever………..

And now
I feel her at the distance only.

Forgive me, Mother,
but I’ve grown up, I am a man now.
And you are my mother.
And it can’t be anything between us anymore.

This is not right to sleep with your own mother…

But I realized
that only in Afghan (Vietnam),
when they had put
the muzzle of the gun into my mouth and said that I will never sleep with my Mother again because
that’s not right. 
And then I realized that it is really bad. And later they said, that somebody sleeps with their mothers till they’re 40.
That’s because they have never been to Afghan (Vietnam).






– Mummy, I am a little Hitler.
– Sleep, son, I’ll give you an injection, and all will pass.

So take a pill, drink it with water. Drink only boiled water; from the tap is forbidden.
Homeless dogs only drink water just from the tap,
and you are not a dO_ggyyy, aren’t you?
You are small, cute,
naughty mon_Key.’

When mother was 8 years old,
she used to take a lot of pills too.
She was taken to the best doctors.

……………………But only one old lady (old witch) had helped her ………………………,

She broke the hoodoo with the egg.
Since that time Mother never had been ill.
She says,
she’s as healthy as a horse,
‘Cuz no one looks a gift horse in a teeth

What did she mean by that?

No one knows.
Mum has always tried to teach me something.

But I was never taken to old ladies (old witches) to break the hoodoo

She says she doesn’t trust them.

But the medicine is generally totally opposite thing, the medicine is in top nowadays, not like in our times. There are meds of all sorts and any prices, for any ages, and from any decease. For example, the pills only for persons, who are from 17 till 24.
And what have I do if I am 24 and one day? So I have to consult with a doctor or to get another preparation, “24 plus”.

So, since my birth, Mum switched me from one preparation to another. We never stay too long at one preparation. Mum said this is harmful, organism is getting accustomed, and effect decreases.

And effect really decreased. Maybe because I never swallowed it,
just chewed till Mum watched, and then ran to the bathroom, and spat out white, red, yellow bubbles of saliva with chewed drugs.
– Mummy, I am a small Hitler.
–  Sleep, baby, your mother is too old now, to bring up another Adolf.

You’ll be an economist, like your Dad.
But do not become president,
this job is ungrateful.



Mum didn’t explain
why this job is ungrateful,
but I believed her,

Mum cannot lie, can she.

 

And later she said:



– You’ll be a pimp, pimps earn more than economists.



So I started to sell my Mother,
to the left and to the right
abroad and to Turkey (Poland). 
I didn’t know before, that everybody wants my Mum and only her.
Other ones aren’t fit, they say.
Others aren’t so compliant, and cannot make love so well.

…………………………….. After that I became proud of my mum.…………………………..

I knew before that she is special, but now became madly proud

And really, we got a lot of money then.
But whether she needed it?
She has all she needs –

food, drinks,
clothes,
she has where to live,
she doesn’t stand like a whore on a pannel,
I call and settle all questions.
They come, take her and then bring back..
All in time, all up to schedule,
As how it supposed to be.

You must know exactly,               
how much costs every your hour.               
And I collected good clientele,               

respectable people,
politicians, gangsters,
economists, you know,


well,… all of them need my Mum.
And Mum never is squeamish of anybody.                She says:

– It doesn’t matter beauty and age for me, the main thing is him to be a good person



– Mum, I am a little Hitler
– Who’s taught you this poor stuff?!
– The nursery in a kindergaten.


She always says, I’m a
little Hitler, and she always
squeezes, and will squeeze
such bastards,
while she
is alive and so are her children.

And, besides, I demonstrated my cock to girls, they’d made me to do that, and nursery
saw this and beat my cock with the ruler.  She said this will make it to grow.
I didn’t cry, not at all. I just get excited so much and wanted more.
I told this to the nursery, but she burst into tears and run away.

Then we were fed a semolina porridge. I got a clump and vomited it back to plate, but not  to mine, to the next,  but a girl didn’t notice and continued eating. Then I realized that you are the best in the world,
because you always cook     soup of cubes   , and there are not clumps ever in it.
Such a pity that in a half of an hour the client will      come           ,
and I will have to sleep alone    again  .

– Sleep sonnn.
Mummy must make mo_ney.
You are a big boy now, you can sleep alone sometimessss.
And Mummy will comMme back ssssoon.

– So where do you work?
– Hush, the walls are thin, and neighbors can hear, and will gossip.
I work in night shift, baby!

And I thought why I have only one Mum, not two?
One would work at night shifts and another at the daytime. And I wouldn’t be afraid so much when I’m going to bed. It’s terrible to go to bed without Mum, but with Mum it’s fine.
In the night Mum hangs about somewhere and you hide yourself under a blanket in a fear. You are weeping; you are worrying terribly of her, put your head out of window and yell:
“Mummy! Mummy!”
And nobody, no one passer-by gives a glance. You look at the clock, it’s 1 a.m., all the people  sleep, it’s only you yelling. Well, a little bit more: Mummy! And once more, quitter: “Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!”
Before dawn she’ll come and say: I’m sorry
dear, I’ve got stuck in a traffic jam,
or that the bus’s got broken.
And you must believe her,
at least pretend to believe, because she is your Mum, isn’t she?
It’s terribly to go to bed without Mum.
And at the day time it’s terribly when she sleeps.
You are not sleeping,
you weren’t hanging out all night long,
and you are still a little kid, aren’t you. And she lays
on the sofa, smelling of fume and fragrances.
It’s light in the room,
the sun looks into the window. People
never sleep at daytime. Only dead men sleep, they are chanted
before noon and then carried to graveyard. And relatives till the end
of life visit them,
and at the same time look for a nice place for themselves.
I remember when Granny had buried her son, my
uncle,  she had set some cheap iron monument,
for a first time. And then another one, marble.
Nobody could be ashamed to visit such a monument.
It also needs to set a table and benches there. 
And she didn’t throw away the old monument.
She’d replaced it to other side of  the table, ‘let it watch a place.’
Later she’d separated this entire place with tin fence.
She would sit at the table, her son to the left, the hollow grave to the right.
Nobody will notice, nobody will occupy the lot.
The monument stands, maybe worse a little than one at the right, but it stands,
let it stand, and no discussions about that!
Then she would dust both monuments, sweep around, and sit again.
But not too long, there is a lot of work at home.
Later Grandfather died too. So the lot came in useful,
Granny had a reason.
This is a land question too, isn’t it?
Now she sits at the table,
her son at the left, her husband at the right.
There is no need to dig out the table,
It’s a good one, she painted it
three times, but paint exfoliates anyway,
the energy at the graveyard is corrosive, cadaverous.
Let the table stay.
But if just a table! When Grandfather
was still alive she kept two coffins
in the attic.
I don’t know where they came from.
It’s a pity to throw them away, let them be, she said .
And when Grand father
Has gone, she threw spare coffin.
We mustn’t think
of death, she said.
Became wise.
And Mum is sleeping.
It will be evening soon, and Mum is still sleeping.
It’s kinda terribly, I’m looking at her, it’s kinda my Mum, but it’s terribly anyway. She’s sleeping. It isn’t right; people must not sleep at the daytime.
Maybe she  isn’t human? 





                I wish I had two mothers.




…………………………..One at the day shift, another at night one…………………………………



Mama woke up ! Then she kissed me gently!
but not with a French kiss,
and went to cook,
Boiled water and dissolved the cubes.
Have some soup, sonny! – she says,
you should be hungry,

probably just sat watching TV without eating since morning
and it’s harmful with an empty stomach.


And I sit at the table,
and look at a mom to the right and another Mum to the left,
Mom that is gone away now,
that I dreamed.
                And I say:




“Get cash onto table, a client will come in an hour, and you promised to read me Anderson’s fairy- tales when I should go to bed.’
“Read it yourself, dear, I have to take shower. ‘Cause you’re finishing school , but can read no more than 20 word a minute.’



Later I’ve persuaded her to have an abortion,
that we could save some more money and buy a new flat.
Mum agreed, she said,

Two spongers is too much, I can’t afford that.

Somebody sang “Evening  bells (Englishman in New York)” outdoors, Mum hugged me, kissed and I fell asleep.





And I dream about:  the presidents of all countries assemble at my place,
where I auction my Mum. It’s wintertime and I dig a trench with sapper spade. 
There is thundering of explosions all around. Church bells are melting to projectiles.
Aliens from others planets sell secrets of immortality.
Gautama came down from the skies,
he has own sapper spade, but golden one, and he digs his trench too.
But I’m digging better than he, because I defense my native land from enemies,
and he – he just digs to get a practice in digging. Well, let him dig, as much as he wants.
And he says, as he’s digging, looking at me
and repeating after me, he says:




“Don’t sell your mother; don’t sell, this isn’t right to sell your own mother. They will persuade you - say, you’ve changed your mind. They will offer a lot of money - don’t take it, they will threaten you – say, Gautama will come, figure out . They will, who is Gautama? Say, the very Buddha Gautama.

I said so, but they didn’t believe and made me to sign the bargain. I give them my Mom and they give me an oil-derrick.  I say, I have no need of this fucking oil. All the transport is working on water long time. They say, no, take it, an oil derrick in every country. I say,

Where did you see oil in China?

The very oil, they said, blue elite sort of oil, high class,
be sure, it’s all yours.

I didn’t notice how I signed it; perhaps they have hypnotized me, or caught me with “elite”
Then I came to Gautama, to complain. He said:

“Why did you sign? If you wouldn’t sign I could help you, but now that’s all, I am not your helper.  What is signed on the Earth, is signed in Heaven. In another life you’ll be born in a lawyer’s family, BASTA”.



Oh, Mummy, my heart is aching of you now.
How are you there?
I know you are passed around,
but I hurry to help you,
I just shall dig a trench.
I told you Mom,
have no affairs with foreigners,
haven’t you enough native clients?!

Anyway won’t hear me. Somebody hugs you with comfort, but I - I am here, in a trench, it’s cold and the ground frozen down for 2 metres.  And my oil-derricks burn somewhere, because nobody looks after them, and marauders are all around. How could this happen, we were common people, but since war began, everyone are marauders at once. And who are they?  People next door! Those, who seemed such decent, such modest.

It’s because, mom, that we like most
of all to rob, you know. Someone
else’s food always has better taste.
Everything is tasty when you are
on visit, even bread with butter is so delicious, 
especially if with tea. Every time you sit and think : I want you to die just right now, so I could eat all of your bread, all of your butter, and I would drink all of your tea, even if you start stink just right here. But you will not ask for something to eat more, getting shy, ‘cause they will make it in such way, that you will get a lump in you throat. So kill’em, and eat all, all that you need by your ration, all that your body requires. Then you’re coming home: the same bread, the same butter, of the same brand, and tea is just the same, I specially remembered the name of trade mark. But something is not all right, it’s not so tasty, and there’s no appetite. I want something special, you know, mother, greed, you know.

//////////////////////I woke up, but Mom isn’t here. The knocking at the door - This is
“I left my keys”, she says.
“Thank you for opening. I’m so tired, I go to bed. Have some soup, I’ve cooked it just yesterday, it’s still fresh”.
This was a symbolic dream, I’ve written it down to my pad-book, as I sat in the kitchen. I said Mom I’ve had a meal, but instead turned on TV. I usually look commercials only. You can learn of all that happens in the world from commercials, and even get esthetic enjoy and even sexual pleasure.

Mum still sleeps and has a dream that her own son is raping her plus so violently, as if she wasn’t his mother at all.
She has such a dream for many years.

“Good morning, Mum, what a dream you had?”

“No dream, dear, I slept tight. And, you, what did you do all the day?’

“I watched TV.”

“Spare your eyes, baby! Turn it off now! Let’s have breakfast.”





Mum, I am a little Hitler.
Sleep, baby, Mum had a good rest already, and now is your turn.

But I didn’t fell asleep, just pretended, but didn’t sleep.
A client came and Mum service him at home.
In the kitchen, all night long;
we have one room only.

“Mum, why we need so much money?’

“ Let it be’

“For what it must be?’

You’ll know when you’ll grow up.



All night through Mom moaned in the kitchen, and all night trough
I listened her moaning.
How my Mom’s moaning. Sweet moaning.
“So swEEt my Mum mOans”, I wrote down in my pad.




‘Mom, if I wouldn’t be your son and would be rich, would you marry me?”
“Yes, but only if it would be with love. I can’t without love, I don’t’ get excited.”



Mom wasn’t at home for three days and then man from the police came and told, that my mother gone, and I’ll stay in charge of a household.



After that police came, ransacked my home, were
searching for drugs.


Then Mom came back in a week, she was absolutely happy, she said, she was in the jail for murder, but



later she was acquitted in court. I knew, it would be alright, because my mom has personal contacts everywhere, all those chiefs she calls by their Christian names. So I didn’t believe them when they said, Mom’s gone. I was waiting, waiting on and Mom came back! Because This is my Mummy, isn’t she, my most beloved Mummy.

Mum, is it true, that Hitler wished  to conquer entire world?’
“True “

And is it
           true, that was Hitler who made Golodomor (the famine)?
” And then he blamed Stalin,
and attacked Russia,
to avenge his Grandmother, who went
to a health-resort,
but starved there to death?”

True.


………………..….But his Granny wasn’t a reason………...……..……….




T  here were ru mors
that Hitler was born of the Immaculate Conception
So
all    his life he avenged, but
not his Granny,
hi s mother,      who was Stalin’s lover.
H e threatened   her, trying to force to make an
abortation. But she didn’t obey,
escaped        to Germany and
received a citizenship        there.
All is     for the sake of her baby.
I would  do the same for your sake,
m y         baby. Then
her son’s          grown up and began revenge on
hi s offenders.   Didn’t you
learn this at school?










”Mum, I just at first grade now!”
“Really?..  But you could take an interest by yourself…”












Never mind, we shall overcome, we’ll break through all in any case,  will make a million dollars and  leave this country forever. It will be a gorgeous life; we shall do
nOthing  but spending mOney. We’ll go away and never be back.

Somewhere across the blue
sea (see!),
beyond the horizon,
there is a country where having million dollars you may live in welfare all your life
and it’ll be enough for your children too.
There are banks
That will never cheat you, and give enormous interests,
even 10 percent’s a year. And you may not just live,
but walk full of joy every day. The joy is sold
in shops there!
Imagine, son,
A joy and even in shops! I’ve read
about it in the newspaper. We’ll get luck,
be sure, baby!
                That was her sort of jokes. But that was not funny at all. Mom burst into tears, she said
 it’s of happiness. I turned on TV, Mom fell asleep, and I watched her and feared. This is my
Mom, she is so tired, she’s working hard. And telephone’s still ringing like crazy.
Clients are calling and calling and everyone needs my Mum. That was a time, when everybody wants  my Mom. And I felt such a pity for her, so I decided to give her a day off. At fist I thought it may be every Monday, but then counted up losses and decided it would better once in a month, but on Tuesday. Mom was glad. she said, I’m the best in the world.




 ‘’Mummy, I am a little Hitler.”

“Sleep, baby. Daddy was killed in the war, because he went to the battle without having a good rest. He hanged out with whores all night long, and at dawn Nazi came and shot up all their sleepy company together with whores. So you must always have a good rest. And remember, never go to battle being sleepy. It’s better to hide beyond a tree and to sleep enough, no less than 8 hours. Your Dad never listened to my advice, that’s why he’d perished. Dad was a bad soldier. But you are the best in the world as for me.”





“Mom, what are the Northern lights?’

Mom told me, as I was falling asleep:


This is when it’s all right,
when you have a lot of money,
when you are falling asleep with your dear Mommy side by side,
when you have all necessary meds at home,
for any situation,
from any illness –
this is the Northern lights.
When a soul flies around the Earth,
choosing whom it wants to incarnate into,
a man or a woman –
this is the Northern lights.
When you being deadly drunk,
but not losing control,
stop taxi,
and tell right address,
and have a will
not to vomit next 20 minutes –
The Northern lights
are when you have dear ones,
whom you love madly
and take care of them,
and do your best to never hurt them.



You just not tell them all the truth
and everything is alright,
you must know just when to stop in time.



The Northern lights
are when you go through the death
of you child, and then
through the death of your wife or
husband and have a strength to live on and find any reasons
to keep joy of life.



Experience comes with the years, son, 20 years - too short term,
20 years it’s just a beginning of the way.


The Northern lights
are when you sleep with you own mother and
after sell her, letting others men
sleep with her too. And Mom continues
to love you,
and forgives you all.
This is the Northern lights.
The Northern lights
are when
you’re living but it seems you’re dying, and in such
a way 20 years in a row.


This is when you get out and see starving people
all around,  and you step over them and keep walking.
And they say at TV, that everything is all right, it’s nobody’s fault,
it’s just a drought and bad harvest this year.


But you see clearly there is no drought,
The
minutes
drop like hail, the
days
pour like rain
and the years
lie down like haze.
You see,
you aren’t blind.
These are, son, the
very Northern lights.
And you are
the best in the world.
You are
my Northern light,
baby.
Sleep.
And Mummy will cry
meanwhile a little,
just a little
when you don’t see.
This is, my baby, exactly The Northern lights.

Hush_Sh_Sh_Sh………………………………………….



 
Vladimir Snegurchenko. Ukraine, Kharkiv.
rotkaer@mail.ru
Translation from Russian - Alex Denysov
thegenipsy@gmail.com