Aeterna in English

Once upon a time there was an adorable young girl named Aeterna, who was also a princess. She was beautiful in a tender, kind way – the type of beauty that does not sting the eye, making another feeling unhappy about his or her own obvious imperfection, but rather the one that sweaps the perception of the observer smoothly, like a little wave cautiously caressing the shore. Aeterna was really smart but simultaneously not sharp-witted enough to constantly ask questions making herself unhappy, like the best people;s minds usually tend to. She had a well-developed intuition, good enough to help and softly guide, when needed, but not too strong to get her in any kind of trouble. Aeterna was, or seemed to be to any observer, a perfectly normal, happy child of the elderly parents – the King and the Queen, whose wisdom and patience seemed (not only to their daughter) to be eternal and perfect. It was a joyous little kingdom, with content citizens and virtually no crime at all. The kingdom was situated on an isolated island, big enough to have fertile lands to feed its inhabitants and not large enough to attract any serious interest from the possible jealous neighbors.  There were no gold, no real luxury anywhere, the King;s palace included, nothing to crave for but also – nothing to be afraid of, nothing to protect, but everything – to support the current second, to paint it in smooth pastille tones of satisfaction and true, conscious humbleness.
Those were the surroundings Aeterna grew up within. Days flowed, followed by nights, always accompanied by the mysterious whispering of the waves that predicted the future and told the stories of the past – but Aeterna heard them from the very first second of her life so she never really paid attention. There was no other world existent, no other reality possible – except the one she knew. Days were filled with learning and doing, exploring and growing – quiet, unspectacular life, guided by the wise elders.
But even within this almost perfect tranquility of being came a significant stir, an upheaval, a change. Real change, a change that everybody could feel, smell, touch and experience, came to the Kingdom once a year. It was the time when the market square of the capital city became the place for the annual autumn fair, dedicated to the Holiday of the Harvest. It was the only week in the whole year when the capital city was virtually flooded with different people coming also from far far away in order to offer their goods for sale – aromatic spices, beautiful clothes for women and leather garments for men, sweets never ever seen or tasted before, sparkling jewelry, horses and rabbits – in fact, there was everything, every object one could think of and even some one would have never imagined. It was the time when the quiet, sleepy capital opened its eyes widely at the wonders of the world, it was humming and buzzing, like a disturbed bees nest, it was fevering, like an infected body. It was the only time when crimes of passion or greed happened, the only time when the lazy fat guards really had work to do in exchange for the golden coins they received from their King throughout the year.
Princess Aeterna was not allowed to visit the yearly Harvest Fair. It was considered to be not safe enough for the young girl of noble blood, if she just went their like everybody else, considering all the strangers in town – who knows what is on their mind! And also the royal parents felt it would be inappropriate to let her visit the Fair with an escort of guards - this for sure would attract unnecessary attention and make it feel like the King and the Queen would distrust their own people and the foreign guests of the Fair.
- But I would love to…to just throw a quick glance on all the wonders Mina have been telling me about – horses, black as the night, mysterious fortune-tellers, dancers and fire-breathers, soft rainbow-colored silk … - said Aeterna one day and stared dreamingly at the multicolored mass of people, visible from the window of the tower where she used to have  lessons with her mother.
- Love, my child. There;s nothing to be Really excited about, - said her mother stressing the word “really” cautiously. It is very loud and the smells are not always pleasing plus there are some dishonest people looking for careless drunkards or … young, innocent girls… - the Queen made a meaningful pause, - in order to inflict harm on them.
- But why? – asked Aeterna sadly. Why some people want to inflict harm on the others?
- It seems to them to be an easy and a quick way to gain immediate profits, my love.
- Is it so?
- No, Aeterna. It is not so, it is an illusion. Nobody can profit while causing harm to another. Sooner or later everybody will understand that…Some…people must learn it the hard way…The Queen seemed to have trailed off in her thoughts. Anyway! – she added, energetically standing up and obviously showing the end of the discussion, - it is no place for a young princess to be and I think me and your father have made it clear to you many times. Mina is just happy she can boast to you about something, to feel her superiority, you understand, Aeterna, my love?
The girl didn;t seem to be much comforted.
- I do, mother. But what if I don’t want her to be?
- Then do not  let her to babble to you about it all the time, silly! - the Queen kissed her daughter fleetingly on the forehead and left the room.
Aeterna sighed. Mina was a servant girl, her close friend. She lived a totally different life, running the streets, when she pleased, even in the dusk, not having to learn, not having to be disciplined, not having to do anything except being a child and a beauty of a radiant, glowing type men would later on long to die for.  She loved Aeterna with all her simple heart and pitied her because she saw nothing good about being the Royal Child – endless work and restrictions, even the clothes that Aeterna was wearing on the daily basis was not pretty much different from the ones Mina wore herself. Mina considered it to be terribly unfair that her dear friend, the only one among the people she knew, was not allowed to visit the best and the brightest event of the year, the one every single one was waiting for impatiently and talking long afterwards it was over – the yearly Harvest Fair.
- Aeterna, come, child, time for the bed, - hearing the voice of her father, the girl slowly looked up from the sewing she had in her lap, her consciousness still fogged by the concentration on her work.  She wondered silently about the two deep vertical wrinkles, cutting into the middle of his forehead – she could swear she have never seen them before there.
The King was sitting by the fire looking pretty much unsettled. Aeterna was not used to seeing her Father like that and she felt her fingers turning cold and her heart suddenly missing a beat inside her chest.
- Is anything wrong, Papa? – asked she in a soft voice.
- Everything;s perfectly fine. Go to bed, lovebird, me and your mother have things to discuss.
Aeterna obeyed, puzzled. She could not fall asleep for almost half an hour, hearing the strange tones in her parent;s voices downstairs and wondering, what it was all actually about. 
She found out pretty soon enough – on the next day during breakfast the three of them always had together, her parents told Aeterna that they both were leaving the Kingdom tomorrow. One neighbor island had a “diplomatic issue” with another one, and so help, wisdom and guidance of an uninterested third side was needed very urgently.
- We hate to leave our land during the Fair, - said the Queen looking Aeterna right in the eye. But we were begged to hurry. And you, my love, is almost all grown up already, grown up enough for us to put our trust in you.
Aeterna turned red with pleasure and immediately became worried to death, considering, whether she was able to stand up to the unexpected task. 
- We will be gone for only two or three days, - explained the King and looked at his daughter with a slightly worried expression on his face, - meanwhile you will represent us and solve any issues that may come. Issues, that appear not so urgent to you, can be very well postponed until we are back. My first minister and your math teacher Solemn will help you with anything, in fact – everything.
- I;ll be fine, Pa, - said Aeterna softly. And our Kingdom as well. I am so happy that you trust me that much…
- We are so proud of you, my girl, - the Queen reached for her daughter;s hand over the table and squeezed her gently. One day you will make a magnificent queen!
And so they left in a beautiful wooden ship with a keel carved into the form of a long-haired mermaid and Aeterna, the first minister, math teacher Solemn, the court magician and all other dear associates and loved servants waved  goodbye until the ship turned into a small black dot on the horizon.
- It will not be long until they are back – safe and sound, - Mina;s mother assured, - and meanwhile – I think we all have stuff to attend to, right?
She was right, of course. Life went on without waiting for the ones gathered on a shore – the Fair has to be taken care of and Aeterna had lessons to attend to and homework to do.
- This is kind of not fair, don’t you think, my concubine? – Mina went up to Aeterna;s room, uninvited, as usual, in order to distract her from her important studies. And! – as she herself put it, - in order not to let the poor girl drain her brain dry with all the facts and figures the fair-bearded man tried to stuff into her.
Aeterna looked up from her book – What;s not fair?
- Your parents…Mina;s voice trailed off and as she saw an angry look in the eyes of her friend, she corrected herself immediately.
Not really unfair, you know…But I am pretty much familiar with these “diplomatic issues”. It is all about showing off in the best dresses and finest suits, exquisite dinners and grand balls, dancing and music and candlelight. It is all about impressing one another who;s the wisest diplomat and whose wife is most beautiful…I mean, love, your father does not really have to worry about that – our dearest Queen is beyond any comparison. No, I don’t mean that, - Mina;s mind was not really able to produce a straight and clear thought, it was jumping from one subject to another, just as it pleased. I mean, - she continued, absent-mindedly skimming in a beautifully illustrated geographical atlas, it is not nice of them to leave you here all alone, with your studies and political issues to solve. I mean, you are only 16!
- Calm down, Mina, you are sometimes just insane. There are no political issues. Things got a bit messed up with this unexpected departure and there;s the Fair as well, but it is not something to be really worried about. I have all the help. And I have my routine, just as always. Because, - her voice became a tiny bit insecure, as if she repeated someone else;s words, not really her own- studying is the key. It is highly important – being consistent. Being concentrated, focused…
- …All work and no play … - continued Mina for her. I really do not know, how you can take all of that, I couldn;t, no way!
She sprang up and danced around the room to a silent melody in her head. Her skirts flew around her, she was lifting her arms and the silver bracelets on her wrists jingled tenderly. She began to sing:
- Outside your window there;s life! There;s the Fair – magic in the air! Come, Aerie, dance with me!
Surprised at her old baby name her mother gave her and which she had not heard for what seemed like an eternity, Aeterna sprang up to her feet and circled with Mina in a wild pair dance. Round and round and round it goes, Mina;s big dark eyes, her face so close to hers, her warm breath touching her cheek…Round, and round and around until the world became a one huge blur of color without shape.
Aeterna fell, panting heavily, in her chair, upon the very book she tried to read before und burst out laughing. Mina did the same on her friend;s bed and their strong young voices joined together, celebrating joy, celebrating life. When they both finally more or less gained their breath, Mina proclaimed:
- Whew! That was something! I felt almost like being on a roundabout.
- Roundabout, - repeated Aeterna dreamingly, - it must be a magnificent feeling…I have a picture of a roundabout in one of my books, you know. It is beautiful – all the carvings, the wooden figures of horses, the sparkling light and the music..
- Don’t tell me…- Mina lifted herself up on her elbow and her dark eyes became huge in her face, - just don;t tell me, precious concubine, that you have never actually RODE a roundabout!
Aeterna looked away, trying hard not to show the sad look on her face.
- You know what it;s like in our family…Roundabout is set up just once a year, during the Fair. And you know that I am not allowed to…her voice trailed off softly.
Mina sprang up, kneeled before Aeterna;s chair and grabbed her hand:
- But Aerie, dearest flower! This is highly Mean! I mean, everybody, I am perfectly sure, everybody in our kingdom has, maybe just once, or just twice, but everybody in the whole world rode on  the roundabout! I;ve never thought about it that way…What good is that to be the King;s daughter, the most important girl in the Kingdom if that means to never know such a simple but wonderful thing! Never seeing the wonders of the Fair…always having to study hard…Aerie, you poor thing!
And Mina hugged the princess tightly. Aeterna was already on the verge of her tears. Suddenly, in the Mina;s eyes she saw, how dull her life was, how monotonous. Never ever before she had looked at it this way. She knew for the months ahead, what she was to do, her curriculum was set up for her once in a year and hardly ever had any changes. There was hardly any room for play. Hardly any room for joy, for discoveries, for simple pleasures so normal, obviously had by everybody, virtually everybody else. Aeterna was still pitying herself heavily, when Mina let go of her and proclaimed:
- Dearest, I know what we shall do. I have a perfect plan how to correct this unfairness – namely right away!
Aeterna looked up to her, unshed tears still clouding her view.
- I will get you one of my cloaks, a dark one with a hood, and tonight, after 8 p.m, after you;ve seemingly gone to bed, the two of us shall sneak away to the Fair, trough the back door! – she looked at Aeterna with triumph, seemingly expecting applause. The plan is perfect, - she added. I will lead you to the roundabout, I know exactly where it stands. We will take a ride, just one ride, – and go straight back home, without anybody noticing our absence.  It will take an hour at most. More likely – just thirty minutes…
- Mina, you are just crazy. – Aeterna stood up, carefully going past her friend straight to the window of her room, which was, by the way, situated in a tower. A magnificent view upon the stretching city, the green hills and sparkling blue sea opened up to her. The sea merged with the sky on the horizon – same rich blue color, stretching, endless… It is not only irresponsible, it is not only breaking the will of my parents, it is not only endangering myself, it is…it is simply unthinkable! Right now I represent our royal family, I am the one in charge of the whole Kingdom. And you…how can you even think of such a childish thing to do?
Princess turned away from the window and looked at her friend. Suddenly both girls realized, that their friendship was soon meant to take an end. They both were pretty young girls with much in common and a natural friendly tenderness for each other, but there was an abyss separating them – an abyss of heritage, responsibility and predestination.
- All right, - Mina looked sadly at her, - fine, if you wish so…your majesty.
Aeterna grew cold at those words. It was the first time that Mina addressed her in an official way. She saw herself losing her friend, rapidly, immediately, as if she this very moment was moving at the speed of light, propelling herself into the cold future of royal tasks, all work and no play…
- Don;t you ever, ever call me that again, silly! Aeterna wrapped her arms around Mina;s waist and buried her head on her shoulder, trying desperately to hold on to her, to stop the separation and to banish the creeping cold out of her heart, realizing all of a sudden, how important the servant girl was in her life. Do you…she stopped for a second, drew her breath and muttered, still pressing her cheek to Mina;s shoulder, – do you really think this could work?
The Fair unraveled before their eyes like a multicolored sea. Aeterna was virtually deafened by all the noises, blinded by the colors, overwhelmed by the smells. There was so much to see, so much to experience! All the delicious smelling food she has never seen on the table of Their Majesties, sweets, cakes, wines, huge beer barrels, sellers shouting praise to their goods, calling on the customers, even pulling them on the sleeve in order to get their attention. The space between the sellers;tables was really crowded so that one had to push his way ahead and sometimes even to really press oneself to strangers – which was a totally new experience to Aeterna. She and Mina had to hold each other tight in order not to get separated.
- I;m so lucky to have the dearest Mina with me , - told the princess to herself, - I marvel at her going ahead so steadfast. Without her I would be lost in no time!
Mina actually new very well where they were heading. She took Aeterna to a food section, where they bought sugar coated baked apples. Then, confidently, she ordered two cups of foreign wine, never minding Aeterna;s faint protests. Finally, they made their way to the vey middle of the Fair – to the roundabout. Mina;s cheeks grew red with color, her eyes gained an unusual watery glow and she seemed to be on a lookout for something. Something…or someone?
Aeterna was starting to feel dizzy. She was so excited the whole day she could not eat her supper at all, poked at the food with her fork and finally declared she was not hungry because she ate some sweets before. She also was not used to drinking wine – she tried some on her 16th birthday at the permission of the King, but that wine was sour and made her cough, so that she just took a sip and grimaced. This wine was not like that at all. This wine was thick and warm, spicy and sweet. It went down the belly and spread itself through the whole body, warming it from inside, it reached to the head and made it heavy, clouded the eyesight, whispered in strange voices inside the ear.
The princess could hardly remember getting on a roundabout. The world was actually already turning before the roundabout even started to move. Aeterna held firmly the wooden grips of some hourse;s head and just felt herself nauseas, seeing the world whizzing around in a huge blur of color and sound. The ride was not pleasing at all – she started to get cold, then she was afraid she had to throw up, the music was way to loud  and out of tune, voices of the people, crying with excitement too penetrating. She just wanted it to end. Please stop, - she cried silently. – Please stop it, stop this wild, ugly ride, I don;t want it any more, I should have never disobeyed, went against the will of my parents who love me so much, put myself into danger…Suddenly she realized very clearly, that even if nobody found out – she will forever feel guilty for it. Nothing would ever, ever change the fact, that she betrayed. That she lied…I am so sorry, - she cried, maybe even out loud, - I never wanted it like that I never wanted it …ALL. I never wanted any of it, - she realized suddenly. Suddenly she most clearly heard a cold, calm voice inside of her. I never asked to be born a princess. I never asked for this life, have I? I never asked to face strange dilemmas, to make a choice, to have to decide on anything against something else, to have to give up. And then she knew there was more to it. That it was just the beginning – more and more of such things will come upon her, one after another, constantly, permanently. It was just the beginning. Is that it? That makes up the life? Then I never asked to…be born. To live.
And then it was over.
The world around her was still turning – but the roundabout stood still, somehow she knew it. She tried to get off the horse, but her limbs betrayed her. She looked around helplessly, still not being able to focus her eyes – where is Mina? Mina will help…
Somebody rather rudely helped her off the horse, a hoarse voice yelled something inaudible at her, she made a few unsteady steps hoping that Mina will find her way to her any minute now and suddenly her knees gave in and she glided to the ground.
- My sweet gal, - an outstretched hand, which she grasped, and then the shiny blue eyes of the color she never ever seen. It was the deepest blue even a sea could very well envy.
Aeterna hardly realized that the hood of her cloak has a long time ago fell on off her head, displaying her rich golden hair, once braided tightly but right now just a mess of loose strands, scattered on her shoulders. Her cheeks flushed a tender glow of a morning rose and her eyes pupils were wide with excitement. In short ,she was breathtakingly beautiful like that and the man in front of her seemed to be filled with awe.
- Are you hurt? Can I help you in any way? My lady, - and he bowed his head respectfully.
- There you are, love! – Mina emerged from the crowd and pulled on Aeterna;s sleeve. Let;s run, concubine, let;s run home!
Home, safety, sleep. Forget everything that happened. Like it never was. Without looking back at the young man, Aeterna followed her friend gladly. Mina pushed hard against the crowd, fighting her way away from the roundabout, but it seemed to bring little success now. Most of the people were moving in the opposite direction. There were too many of them, way to many. And so finally, the two friends got separated and carried helplessly each to her own destiny.
Aeterna was already too tired to feel terrified. It all looked like a bad dream, like one of the nightmares she sometimes had. She gave up to the crowd and was moving somewhere when suddenly she heard some kind of noise, it grew louder and louder, gaining power over the people;s voices and sellers;cries, until it filled the air completely. Music. Overwhelming, enchanting, powerful, drums reaping the world apart. The crowd was not moving ahead any more, there was a rhythm to the movement, an order. Fair Dance. Aeterna was dancing too, or she thought she was, against her will. She was carried, pulled from one human wave into another, grasped hands with someone, pushed further, grasped again, grasped on her waist and above it, and below. Laughing faces. Clasping bodies, like waves of the sea. Suddenly she felt calmed, suddenly she became aware that she herself called this upon her, summoned this force into life. And now she had no choice but to go with it, go with the flow. The very moment she realized it, Aeterna saw the blue eyes again. She was carried to them and now she was resting in the arms of their owner, the dance melted them into one being, swaying to the rhythm. It was a strangely familiar warm and comforting feeling, like a memory from a dream. She liked it. And now she felt the body of the man pushing itself away from hers, she felt his hand grabbing her around the shoulders, protecting her, carrying her away, and out.
- How come you visit the fair alone, your Majesty princess Aeterna? – they were resting in the back of a fortune telling tent, whose owner seemed to be a friend of Aeterna;s new acquaintance.
- Do you know me?
- I;ve seen the princess on several occasions, - the man held a cup of water for her to drink, - I am a knight of his majesty.
- Maybe the parades…, - said Aeterna absent-mindedly. What;s your name? – she seemed to have lost track of reality. It felt very natural, actually, it felt really great, sitting here with this stranger, damped noises of the Fair and it;s wildness left outside, forgotten for the moment.
- Drake, your Majesty.
- Thank you, Drake.
- It;s all my pleasure, Majesty.
- Call me Aeterna.
- Thank you for the great honor, your…Aeterna. Do you want me to take you home?
- Yes, please…And something else…, - she paused for a second then continued without looking at him, - could you keep this a secret? Meeting me at the Fair and…, - finally she looked up to him, puzzled at his being so quiet.
Drake looked her very earnestly in the eye.
- Everything the princess wishes. Anything.
She couldn’t stand his gaze. The intense power lurking beneath the politeness and subordination, behind the mask of the servant there was an ancient demand of sex, an immemorial challenge of manhood on womanhood. 
Aeterna sipped from her cup. Although she felt his power, and his wish, somehow still he seemed to be completely harmless, intuitively she knew that her will was superior to his.
- Take me home, knight Drake, right now.
Standing behind the broad back of a King;s knight made the way much more easier then before. He was moving ahead slowly, but steadily, so Aeterna had time to take a good look around. The clothes; quarter was unimpressive to her, the home appliances interested her very little, and so did the weapons. But the jewelry quarter…well, there were some things to wonder at. Not the cheap wooden stuff for peasant girls, but the mysteriously glowing stones and shiny metal, beautiful craftwork of far-away lands…The crowd became scarce and at each table at least two armed sellers could be seen. Drake quickened his pace, so that Aeterna had to grab him on the elbow. He turned to her in surprise
- Please don;t got that fast, -  she asked him, - I want to take a quick look…
And she stopped in awe at one of the table – green emeralds laughed at her, catching the last rays of the setting sun, and so did the blood red rubies, deep violet amethysts, mysterious opals shining decently in rainbow colors. Pins to hold her hair, and colliers to attire her neck, rings to fit to her long fingers, bracelets for her slender wrists, beauty and love and decoration for her flesh, items to hold joy, to bring joy…It dazzled her and sang to her in myriad of voices, hypnotizing her, calling to her …
- Lovely gal, - said a crackled voice, - lovely bird found something for the joy of her heart?
Aeterna felt Drake;s arm gently squeezing her elbow, but she ignored it completely. She wanted to memorize this spectacular color play, to carry it away in her heart.
- Look here, love, look here, look closely. Which one of them speaks to you, only to you? Upon receiving no answer she continued: Ah, I see now. You are something special, you want something extraordinary, love! Well, I am special too, - the voice chuckled rather unpleasently, I have a special gift, - Aeterna made an effort and focused her gaze on a small white-haired woman standing behind the jewel;s table. She seemed to be older then the world itself. - I have a gift of finding a perfect jewel for everyone, for anyone! And for your, beauty, look what I have!
She reached under the table and held out a small wooden box. She opened it, reached out her hand and held it for Aeterna to see – and the girl held her breath. Inside lay the most beautiful thing she has ever seen in her life – it was an eight-pointed star, completely covered with clearest sparkling diamonds. The old woman was suddenly standing beside her – look at it, look at it closely. It is you, it is actually you – so shining, and clear and magnificent, look – in a single swift movement the woman put up a mirror in front of Aeterna, her old crumbled fingers with dirty fingernails fished out the pin out of the box – let me try it on, - in a flash her other hand opened the breech of her cloak, - right here on your beautiful dress, love..
Aeterna saw, definitely too late, that the needle of the pin was way too long . It was no thicker then the human hair and, pushed by an old hand, it easily went right into the left part of her chest, straight between her ribs and into her very heart. The strange calm and the spreading cold was the last thing she felt and the last thing she saw was a nasty smiling mouth with hardly any teeth in it.   
 Aeterna fell back into the Drake;s hands, which supported her. But inside her head she was falling long after her body was steadied, further, further, further into the darkness; the real world grew small and dissappered. But the voices continued to sound inside of her, echoing like if she was an empty well. The old hag;s faked worried cooning, Drake;s deep rich baritone, cries of the strangers – princess is not well, this is the princess, where is the princess, Princess Aeterna, wake up!
So it all came out, - thought Aeterna, - like it is supposed to happen to lies....But it did not worry her  anymore – she was there, she was still herself, but she knew, that her heart was not beating.
; I wonder, - she thought, - so you clearly notice, when your heart stops beating. An unmistakable feeling. It is not like loosing a tooth or cutting your hair. From that point on nothing will ever be the same. And she chuckled a joyless smile. I wonder if it is dying. I wonder if I died...Am i dead? How am i supposed to know? They say you die only once...But somehow i get the feeling, they know nothing, not a tiny bit of it.
Aeterna really didn;t know much about death – only things she was told in her religion course. About heaven and hell and being good, sins and purgetory...But nothing of the kind happened to her.
Aeterna was not dead, still she was alive no more in a sense that she could operate her body, in fact, she was completely isolated from it. Her body lied now, pale and cold and immovable, on a strecher. It was carried, followed by a quiet crowd, to the King;s palace -  Aeterna knew it for sure.
- So..., - she thought. So where is the real me? Is it the flesh and the bones and the blood frozen cold in the veins, is it the heart pierced by an almost invisible needle? Or is it this voice that is hanging in the dark?
Soon the princess found out, that her thoughts now were her new body. She learned to use them, just like she learned to use her arms and legs as a child. Bit by bit, step by step, a process of trial and error...Should she think of something, she found herself immediately in the presence of it. However, it did not feel like actually being beside a thing, physically present, it felt like reaching across time and space and feeling something or someone, touching the essence of it. For example, when Aeterna thought of her mother the Queen, she immediately felt her, felt her grief and confusion at the sudden los of her daughter, felt her anger, her despair, her total disorientation. If she wanted to, she could know right away what her mother was doing or saying, but this interested her little now. She marveled at how everybody really looked like – everybody was much much larger then their physical bodies. In fact, a physical body was only a part of something larger, something that looked like a ball, a conglomerate of light, knots and connections and complicated patterns, some areas were darker, some lighter. The construction changed every second, glowed, gleemed; she saw how thoughts and feelings were pulsing in various colours, she saw how they intereacted with each other – reaching out their feelers, touching each other, melting with each other, separating from each other. She now saw that every human being was in fact connected to every other human being and everything around them. She saw, how people were breathing out their thoughts and the thoughts became physical things and how the people were breathing them in again, devouring them, defecating them then devouring them again. It was the Uroborus, the eternal, never-ending dance and it dazzled her, hypnothized her, it was the Play of God for Himself and it could be watched eternally, without one ever getting enough of it.

Meanwhile there was a deep mourning in the King;s palace. The only daughter breaking out for the Fair, finding a strange and unexplainable death in the arms of the Kings knight...Things really could not get any worse. Poor Drake was imprisoned,  questioned and interrogated endlessly, he was almost have been sent to torture, if not for the Queen.
; Dear, you really are overreacting. The guy does not know a thing, you could see it himself, if you would not have let the despair blind you! Really, Beloved...,- the Queen put her hands around her husband and looked him in the eye. Please stay rational, please stay focused. Our daughter needs us more then ever.
; She;s dead, - said the King dully. - I really failed as a father, I shamefully did. How could this have happened? How could she have paid us back with such a disgrace after all the love we gave her, after all we have taught her, after all we put into her!  Fair! Dancing! Nonsence!
; I don;t know, Love, I don;t know what went wrong...Thinking about it day and night, not finding anything, not a clue, - Queen pressed her long, slender fingeres to her eyelids
; That servant girl...
; Dont start this again – you just want to put your blame on someone. On this Drake guy, on Mina....The fault is all ours – as parents, as guardians – we failed, Love, we really did.
And so all the magicians and wise people of the Kingdom were gathered together in order to determine the cause of Aeterna;s death – and found nothing. Her body seemed intact, uninjured - and still clearly not alive. However, they found out that she was not dead also – the body showed not a slightest sign of decay, even many weeks after the incident at the Fair. So a Word was spread, messengers were sent to go all over the world to annoucne the King;s will – the one who will bring princess Aetrna back to life will get one wish granted. "I will do everything in my power, give everything in my posession to the one who brings my daughter back to me. I give my word, a word of King;s honour".
The unfortunate knight named Drake was finally released and was free to go where he pleased. But somehow he lost his peace of mind – he could not forget the beautiful princess Aeterna. Somehow he could not beleive she was dead, he could still feel her – around him, inside him, like a glimpse, like a tiny spark, ever eluding the consciousness but still somehow present. The moonlight reminded him of her, the whisper of the leaves, a song of a morning bird and the deepness of the blue sky. She was there, he could not get rid of her – and still he missed her, feeling her absence like a tiny cold spot in his heart. He knew – come what may - he had to find her, had to at least try.

Time stopped for Aetrna the moment the old hag;s needle came through her heart. Now she knew that time did not exist, it never did. If she wished to, she could reach, with her thought – any moment in her life in the past, she could also reach into future...any future she wished. For example, the one where she still was alive. The one where she married or the one where she chose to stay alone and so that the King had to pass the Kindgdom onto her younger brother. A future, where she was actually someone else, Mina, or the King;s Chief Magician or someone completely strange. She could choose to live lives and still not a second passed. It was all there. It was all happening at once and she was experiencing it all. Gradually, Aeterna was getting familiar with the Great Light which was holding everything that lived. The Source, the Cause and the Consequence, the Unmoved Mover. She knew now, how worlds were created and sent into oblivion, how galaxies emerged and dissappeared, how the universe unfolded from a spot and contracted itself again.The breathing in and the breathing out of God. And it was good. And she liked it.

And so the brave knight Drake boarded a ship and went to the faraway lands to look for the cure, or the wise words, or a magician who could tell him how to bring the princess back to life. He travelled the world for many years, seen many lands and numerous wonders, have experienced cold, hunger, hardship and despair, he looked hard, asked everywhere – but still nobody could help him. Nobody knew anything about curing a body, that was not breathing and still not decaying.
After 10 years of fruitless searching an exhausted King;s knight named Drake was resting in a seaport tavern. He was playing with a thought of going home, settling down, finding a sweet girl, maybe becoming a child or two...And still he knew it was no use. Princess Aeterna burned in his memory like a sun, made him restless, drove him further and further until the end of the world...
; So why so sad, lad? - Drake looked up to the source of the voice and found a man with a kind, a little bit keen smile, standing beside him. The man was big and bearded, Drake could hardly tell his age – somewhere between 30 and 50. His face was worn out by the sea wind and his hands were big and rough, like the ones of the sailor.
; Why dont you enjoy your rest and your drink? - the man pointed to a cup of red whine standing in front of Drake, untouched, - and let the world spin on without you, just for a while?
Drake felt an urge of sudden friendliness towards the men, he was glad that someone could, and wanted to, distract him from his misery. He offered the men a seat and invited him for a drink. The man really turned out to be a sailor and he and Drake spent some really pleasant hours telling each other stories of their travel. The man ordered a big bottle of sweet apple wine and, although Drake was not really fond of alcohol, he really enjoyed sharing it with the sailor.
; What a plesure to meet a man of such wits and! Such guts! - exclaimed the drunken sailor way too loud but Drake still smiled very appreciatedly. And still, buddy, - I can see that you are a great pal, still, you look like something is really eating on you. I can see if something is clouding a guy;s mind! Seeing by the expression on Drake;s face that he had actually got the bull;s eye, the sailor continued – is this about a girl? Hey, I can see a troubled lover the second he enters the room! It;s about a gal, isnt it? - and he looked at Drake truiphantly, obviously pleased at his talent of reading in a man;s soul.
; It;s not that simple...Drake paused for a second, still doubting whether he wanted to talk about it with a stranger, but then still continued, - the thing is...she is dead.
; Oh Lord, I;m sorry, pal, so sorry I brought it up, stupid me, always showing off like that, playing with good pal;s feelings...
; No,no, no, stop it, dont blame yourself, it;s ok. In anyway,  it;s not really like that, she really isn;t...
; So what is it, pal? She is – or she is not? Would be nice if you made up your mind...
; That is the thing! Drake became impatient. She is – and she is not! Look, that is how it all started - I meet this princess on a fair, she breaks away from her home and wanders around, drinks s sip of wine, her cape falls to her shoulders, beautiful hair and sparkling eyes, red lips and a sweet honey smile...I decide to escort her home because I am concerned about her safety...The sailor made some sound that may have been a muffled chuckle, but Drake decided to ignore it. So I make way for her and suddenly she stops by this jewelry seller and stares at this sparkling stuff you know that women adore. Then she decides to try something on – and falls dead, just like that! Without a sound or anything...So she is not breathing – and still her body is exactly as it was the day she "died" – untouched by decay.
; I see, - said the sailor thoughtfully, I guess I;ve heard of her already, but I thought it was some drunkard;s fairy tale. So what;s your deal, buddy? I mean allright, you surely got into hell of a trouble for being at her side at a moment like this but still...You hardly knew her. You want to help, or you want the reward – what is it that you want?
; I lost my peace of mind, you know, - said Drake slowly, I am not really doing it for her, nor for the reward – I am actually doing it for myself. I want to finish it or I want it to end somehow. I just want to rest...He felt that his head was huge and very hot, so he had to rest his forehead on his arms. He felt a heavy head on his neck, although it was strange, it was not at all unpleasant – on the contrary – it felt very soothing.
; Where is she, your princess? - said a very soft voice. Where? Not her body – where is SHE?
; In my head...and in my heart, - muttered Drake sleepily. I feel her...in me.
; You;ve been looking at all the wrong places, buddy, - said a voice which now sounded very much like his own. Forget the outside. Look on the inside. 

Princess Aeterna felt that someone was trying to reach her in a real way. Not like her Mother and her Father did, crying ignorant tears at her body, mourning and complaining, no. Someone was reaching out for her essence, for her being, calling and searching. She already felt it before, a tug, a slight pull, but earlier it was rather pleading and now it was becoming more and more persistent. So she became a bit curious. Aeterna took a closer look but the creature was not really familiar, someone she met in her last life only briefly…The man at the Fair. The one who held her in his arms when she died. And so she revealed herself in the darkness.
- What did you do to your body, Knight?
- It is asleep, and I am dreaming.
- So…What are you dreams are like, Drake?
- I dream of the most beautiful women in the world.
- Why do you search for her? You don;t know her. You don;t know anything.
- Maybe you;re right. But I know one thing – without her I am half a man.
Aeterna glowed him a rather snotty smile.
- Then you are stupid. You need nobody. Look at you, you are everything. You are light and warmth, existence and creation. You are perfectly whole. You are just unable to recognize it.
- I know nothing of being a light, your Highness. I am a man, of flesh and blood and I;ve searched for you. Now that I have found you – I will take you with me. I will take you home.
- Well, you are pretty daring, aren;t you? Here;s my answer, stranger Drake – you can;t take me anywhere if I will not choose to. And I am going nowhere. I am home. Why should I descend into just one body, become just one person again? Now I am Everything. I can be everything I choose to. So why should I? Why should I do it, Knight?
Drake thought for a second and then answered:
- I guess I can;t force you, my princess, - his light slowly dulled with grief. There is just one thing I have to ask you – why did you die?
- Because an old hag pierced my heart with a needle.
- Why did you let her do so?
- Because…I guess, because all my life I hated to choose. Not really realizing it…Something happened to me on that Fair, no, I think it started before…The thoughts of …choosing something over something else made me more and more miserable. Having to give up something in order to get something else…I guess, I wanted exactly what I have now, here – to be every possible choice, that exists. I don’t want to forget who I really am, never again. But if I had to become Princess Aeterna again…I could not do so, unless I forgot. Do you understand?
- I think I do. I see the magnificence you are experiencing right now and feel the urge to stay, to join you. What do you think of it?
- I know nothing of your choices. Nothing of your way. Nothing about you. However, it felt good to dance with you, Drake. To feel your warm arms around me and to see your beautiful eyes so close. There was a promise in them – a key to an ancient mystery...
While he heard Aeterna talking, or, rather, exchanging her thoughts with him, Drake suddenly got a vision of a pale cold body, lying somewhere in the King;s dungeons. It looked to him as if the cheeks of a beautiful girl who have not aged a single day in ten years, suddenly gained a little bit more color. She has to go on talking, - he grasped, - she has to move herself closer to her past life until she gets captured in it once again.
- You were the most beautiful, most graceful girl of all that I have ever seen. The moment I saw you at that dance I knew who you were. You stood out of the crowd like a swan stands out in a flock of ducks. That movements, that posture, that fine bone and slender body…
- Yes, the body I inhabited back then was a delicious one. Somehow it is a pity that I never really knew the real joy it had a possibility of brining me. All the wonderful sensations coming through the five senses, the joy of being with a man, the joy of bearing a child, giving birth to life…
In his mind;s eye Drake saw a tiny speck of blood appearing on the white cloth of the Princess;s dress. It was on the left part of her chest and it was growing bigger every second.
Now Aeterna too noticed that something is going on.
- What is happening? What have you done, you...
But it was too late. Carried forth by the swirl of her memories, amplified many times by the Drake;s presence, Aeterna;s soul was forcefully thrust into her body which now regained consciousness. A sharp pain pierced the left part of her chest, blood was pouring out of a wound, carrying the evil needle no thicker than a human hair out and away. Her heart was beating again. She was once again alive.

- Did you have a pleasant journey back home, Knight Drake?
Princess Aeterna was sitting on her swing in the Palace;s garden. It was a beautiful spring morning, the one when nature celebrates her glory with all her heart – the sky was the deepest cobalt blue, the sun shined gently but confidently, birds cheered up to the clouds and the flowers presented their most vigorous colors. But the princess does not seem to notice the beauty surrounding her. Her hair was prettily braided and her dress was made of the most tender pink silk with finest embroidery, but her face still looked very pale and deep shadows laid under her eyes.
Drake stood in front of her, leaning on a tree. He looked aged, worn out by nasty weather, beaten by many storms. And still he had the same straight posture, confident movements and bright sparkling blue eyes, as before.
- Yes, my Lady, most assuredly, thank you. How are you feeling, Princess?
- I thought we have already clarified that you can call me Aeterna.
- Yes…I am sorry.
- I am feeling…strange. I mean, ten years have passed and it is natural for everybody around here to feel confused...But I cannot get rid of the feeling that I am still dreaming. Everything is the same and familiar, and still it is not. And then…weird memories come to me now and then, especially when I wake up in the morning. Some kind of dark well, sparkling light, so much light you can hardly stand it, and voices. I feel like I have forgotten something important and it makes me restless, - the princess rubbed her forehead with her palm…I want those dreams to go away!
- Maybe they will, soon. And maybe…maybe we are dreaming, just dreaming. So what? Does it make any difference?
- I guess it doesn;t…Unless it does. Anyway, what kind of reward did you ask of my Father for saving my life?
- I asked him to give me your hand.
- What? – princess Aeterna jumped off the swing and stared Drake right in the eye. He held her gaze calmly.
- But I am no Reward! What is that supposed to mean? I am no trophy that can be reached out to someone just like that! Did you…have you even thought about asking ME first?
Drake crossed the few steps that separated them. Gently, he took princess;s hand, slowly drove it to his lips and kissed.
- I did. I do – now, - he lowered himself onto one knee. - Aeterna, please be my wife. Will you marry me?
She looked at him in despair and took a hesitant step back.
- But…But you know, I might be crazy! Sometimes I feel like I;m going insane because I am unable to solve the mystery I brought with me from my ten-year-long dream. I think I can hear a faint voice inside of me, telling me something extremely important but I can;t hear no matter how hard I try to listen. I try and try and try – and I cant!!! I can hardly concentrate on my studying, it bores me to death and I see no point in it at all. I … I …
- So you …have no liking for me anymore? – Drake lifted himself up from the ground.
- I don;t know!
- That our dance on the Fair…
- Yes, that dance…I must admit, I really liked you, I did, back then, a lot. But nothing is the same anymore – the food tastes different, my family;s different, I am so different!
- And so am I.
- Sure…I mean, it did feel very good to feel your tender embrace…
- So why don;t you try it again, my Princess, my Love? –Drake gently opened his arms for her, smiling a quiet warm smile, - why don;t you try again?