Dear Alice

Dear Alice,
I’m sorry for not answering. I admit, I’m guilty. But you know, I just couldn’t. Physically. My body is weak. My hand is barely holding the pen right now. But I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to speak to someone… and you are my victim, Alice. I know that we can hardly call each other friends, but right now, I have no idea why, I trust you the most.
Five days ago my best friend died. His name was Martin. Oh, you have no idea how much it hurts when I write or hear his name. Nevertheless, I must keep on writing otherwise something inside of me will either explode or eat me up and nothing of me will be left.
He got into a car accident. He was alone. He was driving home, his wife Ann was waiting for him. He was late and Ann started getting worried ‘cause Martin had always been punctual. But that day became an exception, a sad one. I won’t give you all the details of finding him dead and the accident, just because I can’t. You know, the tears are rolling down my cheeks and I yell, I cry, I scream. Oh, God! It’s unbearable…
He’s gone and he’ll never come back. I’ve lost my heart, and his death is just tearing me apart. I couldn’t even imagine my life without Martin…
My thoughts mix up when I try to concentrate. Losing him, my best friend, influences my whole life. It’s only been five days without him and I’m already mentally dead. Even my facial muscles have forgotten how to smile. My stomach refuses the idea of eating and my mind rejects the idea of living. I don’t know what to do next. I need your advice. Please, help me!
Waiting for your reply,
Leila.