Up The Ramp

(Translated by Anatoliy Goltser)

Cast of Characters:

Victor Pavlovich Inin
Michelle Korsh
Eugene Frein
Professor Hesselbrandt

Voices (Offstage):

Supervisor: Victor’s supervisor
Number 2
Number 3 Agents with the counterintelligence
Number 7



Scene 1

The curtain is closed. Victor appears downstage. He doesn’t hurry, carefully examining the imaginary pictures “hanging” on the side of the auditorium.

VICTOR (VOICE)
Understand, if not for you, if not for our conversations… I could hang myself from boredom. I’m a … I’m a sociable person, an extrovert, so to speak. I don’t seem to suffer from extreme shyness. But I’m already here for four months, and I still can’t get used to it.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
A foreign country, my friend; different customs. Tell you the truth, I didn’t take to it right away either. Well, not right away… And your preparation, Victor Pavlovich, is a little shabby.

VICTOR (VOICE)
In what way?

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
In the most obvious way. It’s sloppy. Dear Lucas, you don’t have to be shy in front of me.

VICTOR (VOICE)
Well finally! Why for so long! I…

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
Don’t worry. I should’ve been more perceptive. More sensitive. The mission isn’t simple, and you, my
dear, if you’ll excuse me, are a classic dilettante. Well, all right, don’t worry. Everything’s going good.

VICTOR (VOICE)
But, tell you the truth, I have this feeling…

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
You can trust me: it’s going good. They think you’re nothing but an amateur, a protege. But a good-looking fellow nonetheless, and that’s about it. In Moscow they decided you’ll do. However, the mission is mine. I have the last word… And I agree.

VICTOR (VOICE)
I’m flattered. But I would still like to know…

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
The aim of the mission?

VICTOR (VOICE)
That too.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
The aim - obtaining certain documents regarding the workings… Doesn’t matter of what.

VICTOR (VOICE)
Extorting information!

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
In a way. Well, regardless. The subject is Professor Hesselbrandt: smart, well-mannered, willing to give us the information, and in return for nothing. His motive: balance of powers as insurance of global security. A difficult case. Your goal: get to the professor, get him to like you, get him to trust you. In other words, make it so he’ll want to give you the information. Understood?

VICTOR (VOICE)
Kind of. You seem confident that he… that this professor… I don’t know what he does… That he’s ready to hand me the information.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
That’s right. I am.

VICTOR (VOICE)
That means you have people…

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
Who we can not risk. Not in the least. This professor is tightly watched.

(Michelle appears, observing Victor.)

VICTOR (VOICE)
But how do I…

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
It’s all been thought out. Our subject likes art. The modern kind. He goes around to art shows, studios. Especially to this one studio of a certain Michelle Korsh. Twenty seven years old, divorced, granddaughter of a Russian immigrant. Good-looking. Friendly. In love with everything Russian…

VICTOR
(Without turning.) Do you like it?

MICHELLE
Some of it. You?

VICTOR
I do not understand all of it.

MICHELLE
You mean - you don’t understand it at all?

VICTOR
If you want to say it like that.

(Pause.)

MICHELLE
Where are you from?

VICTOR
Soviet Union.

MICHELLE
From Russia!

VICTOR
From Moscow.

MICHELLE
But you’re not a tourist - you’re alone.

VICTOR
No. Not a tourist. Diplomat. And you?

MICHELLE
I’m an artist.

VICTOR
And for how long?

MICHELLE
Since I was little.

VICTOR
You have considerable knack.

MICHELLE
Do I look that bad?

VICTOR
Not at all. Listen, they are showing some of your works also?

MICHELLE
Only one. In the other room, where you were just now. “Spring Again”.

VICTOR
Me?

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
We did a good job learning what she likes.

VICTOR
Err… It’s the one… Drenched in green and orange. So you are Michelle Korsh?

MICHELLE
Wow! You’ve the memory of a spy.

VICTOR
I am a diplomat. Very brave of you to take such risks - green and orange.

MICHELLE
You also paint?

VICTOR
Little bit. Amateur.

MICHELLE
Wow. I’m curious to have a look.

VICTOR
Oh no. I am shy and sensitive.

MICHELLE
Afraid? Some say you are not permitted to speak with Aborigines.

VICTOR
You were misinformed.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
You must make yourself “a part of” in her gallery.

VICTOR (VOICE)
And for her?

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
That is your decision.

VICTOR
Interesting last name—-Korsh. Polish?

MICHELLE
Russian. Korshunov… So, you didn’t change you’re mind?

VICTOR
No.

MICHELLE
Then let me to invite you into my studio.



Scene 2

Michelle’s studio. Far back center stage is a large window; under it is a small table with three chairs. Corner stage right is the door, corner stage left is the worktable and shelves. At the sides of the stage stand two easels. On one of them sits an unfinished canvas, on the other is a blank canvas. During the play Michelle finishes the first canvas and starts on the second one. There are finished paintings hanging on the walls. At left from the window are the figurines.
Enter Michelle and Victor.

MICHELLE
After you.

VICTOR
Wow, a wonderful studio!

MICHELLE
Like it?

VICTOR
Very! I dreamed of a studio like this since I was little. With a big window. And the smells… (Walks to the figurines.) All of them Russian?

MICHELLE
All of them Russian.

VICTOR
(Stretches out his hand to touch one.) May I?

MICHELLE
You’re an expert in these too?

VICTOR
(Carefully takes one down.) Little bit. Where, Michelle, did you get these wonders?

MICHELLE
My granddad brought them here. Back then… after your revolution… In winter. For him, Russia was always linked with winter. Sleds, horses. I liked to listen… You resemble him in a way… The eyes. Do you like winter? Victor?

VICTOR
Yes.

MICHELLE
Do you like Moscow winter?

VICTOR
Winter? Why not? I like it. But I like spring more.

MICHELLE
Well he liked winter. He probably was forced to leave in winter, and that’s how he remembered her – Russia - cold, snowy… All that’s left are these family relics and the figurines. Fifteenth century.

VICTOR
Sixtinth… You know, I also have some figurines at home. My father used to collect.

MICHELLE
Really! We’ve so much in common. And just in general…

VICTOR
What “in general”?

MICHELLE
Nothing. Coffee?

VICTOR
Please!

(Michelle runs off. Victor, having made a few steps with the figurine, as with an imaginary dance partner, puts it back on the shelf. Blackout.)


SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
A young soviet diplomat, an accidental fan of art, by complete accident meets the professor, who then must, absolutely must, to give exactly this young diplomat the papers in question.

VICTOR (VOICE)
And then?

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
Get them over here. And if you do, if you’re lucky, rookies sometimes are lucky, and they don’t grab you with the papers in your hand, or eliminate you quietly, then we’ll move you out of the country in 24 hours.

VICTOR (VOICE)
What a great future!

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
What do you care.


Scene 3

Same place. On stage: the professor and Victor.

PROFESSOR
So. A Russian diplomat?

VICTOR
Soviet.

PROFESSOR
Soviet? Interesting. Like it?

VICTOR
Very much.

PROFESSOR
And your missions? Your missions as well? Wonderful. And how long are you a diplomat?

VICTOR
Already four months.

PROFESSOR
And before that?

VICTOR
I studied.

PROFESSOR
I wonder, how do you teach something like that?

VICTOR
You can. Everyone is taught. It is, of course, better if a person has certain natural predispositions…

PROFESSOR
Bull. Excuse me, you’re still young, but, trust me, it’s never too early to smarten up.

VICTOR
You meant to say: never too late.

PROFESSOR
Never too early. This is the very root of our troubles: we don’t care to look at simple things with open eyes.

VICTOR
But what is the connection?

PROFESSOR
Elementary.

(Michelle rolls in a table)

MICHELLE
Oh, professor, relax. Give the boy a chance to enjoy his  integrity.

PROFESSOR
Dear boy. Dear, dear boy. Do you like coffee, Mr. Inin? Maybe tea? In your country, I heard, people prefer tea. Coffee there implies pseudo-aristocracy or a false bohemians.

VICTOR
I like coffee, Mister…

PROFESSOR
It’s hard to get it the first time. Hesselbrandt. If you want I can spell it.

VICTOR
Thank you, not necessary.

(Michelle looks in wonder at Victor)

PROFESSOR
There’s a “dt” at the end. That’s bad for a diplomat, but for a spy, unforgivable. But then… Don’t be upset, there’s nothing unconscionable in the spying profession. Except maybe some of the methods.

MICHELLE
Professor!

PROFESSOR
It’s all right, Michelle. Everything’s all right. Every diplomat has a little bit of a spy in him. It’s always been that way.

(Michelle gets up and goes over to the canvas, looking over the unfinished piece.)

VICTOR
It doesn’t make a difference what way it’s always been.

PROFESSOR
Ah, honest diplomacy? Bull. Or sham. Fraud. I don’t know. I haven’t given it much thought. Only one thing’s clear…

MICHELLE
Your lack of tact.

VICTOR
Exactly. Wrong time, wrong place.

PROFESSOR
Wrong time, but the place… The place is just fine.

VICTOR
After all, we are the guests of a wonderful painter and a charming…

MICHELLE
I’m not Dali yet.

VICTOR
You certainly will be, I guarantee!

MICHELLE
Why? God help me just to become myself. Myself and not a molding of someone else’s opinions.

VICTOR
Life is short; too many things must be taken on faith.

PROFESSOR
Be careful that out of necessity this doesn’t become a habit.

MICHELLE
Why don’t our men ever grow up? Gray, bearded, bald kids. It’s disgusting. Instead of enlightening, they dumb with old age.

VICTOR
But the women smarten catastrophically.

MICHELLE
Compensation. That’s nature defending itself. Defending us from our own selves. And if not?

PROFESSOR
(Stands up.) As always, you’re right. Nature has its hands full with us. Admit it, we have to help her.

VICTOR
I completely agree.

(Professor exits. Blackout.)


Scene 4

Lights on downstage left. The curtain is drawn. Victor and Michelle appear. Victor is cheerful, hyper, and laughing.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
How’re things, my friend?

VICTOR (VOICE)
No great accomplishments yet.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
Don’t humble yourself. That’s unnecessary. The first round you performed more than successfully. Now, now, don’t blush, like a bride, leaving her guests! Everything’s good, just don’t get ahead of yourself.

VICTOR (VOICE)
In what sense?

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
Don’t forget what’s important.

MICHELLE
Victor, do you have anyone back in Moscow?

VICTOR
Of course! Mom, dad.

(Michelle stops. Victor looks around, then looks towards the audience and becomes still, looking with difficulty at something deep inside himself.)

VICTOR
There was.

(Michelle, having gone up to Victor, with her gaze tries to get through to that same remoteness. Victor remembers himself.)

VICTOR
Come. Let’s go.

(Escorts Michelle behind the curtain.)

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
You, Vitya, as far as I understand, are very impressionable. I repeat, don’t get ahead of yourself.

VICTOR (VOICE)
I’m trying.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
Well, well. And keep me posted. I’ll be glad to give you advice.

(The curtain opens. The interior of a bar. Michelle and Victor sit behind a table.)

MICHELLE
I’m sorry.

VICTOR
It is empty. Everything dead must fall off. But strange… Since recently, I have that feeling, that all those things did not happen with me. I remember - the hurt, but why - I cannot imagine. Incredible, right?

MICHELLE
That means it wasn’t yours.

VICTOR
Oh no, it was mine… mine. It had yesterday and tomorrow.

MICHELLE
So let it! Let’s have only today, but ours.

VICTOR
Let it. But can that be?

MICHELLE
It has to be. On the other hand, you know, I have a lack
of realness. Fragile, like a mirage.

VICTOR
In this life, regretfully, everything is a mirage. Illusions! Pretty illusions. Except death.

MICHELLE
Again death! Why death? (Walks up to Victor, hugs him.) I can see, you’re constantly afraid of something. It’s your fears, they make us... What are you afraid of?

VICTOR
Everything and everybody!

MICHELLE
And me?

VICTOR
And you! (Michelle steps back.) And for you. And do you want to know what I am most afraid of? Should I tell you? Even more than losing you? Should I tell you? Losing my own self.

MICHELLE
Is that possible?

VICTOR
Yes.

MICHELLE
Can you tell me…?

VICTOR
No! No. You wouldn’t understand…  most of it.

MICHELLE
Why not?

VICTOR
We’re from two different worlds. Understand, not
countries - worlds!

MICHELLE
Really, so if I’m able to love you, I wouldn’t be able to understand you?

VICTOR
I doubt it… After all, all this isn’t mine… That’s too bad.

(They gaze at the audience. Pause.)

MICHELLE
We can’t be together for long, can we.

(Victor nods. Blackout.)


Scene 5

Michelle’s studio. Lights on center stage. In the chairs behind the table sit Victor and  Professor.

PROFESSOR
Mr. Inin, tell me, if you were faced with the actual dilemma: the interests of your country or the interests of the world.

VICTOR
Impossible. The interests of my country have never yet contradicted the interests of other people.

PROFESSOR
Oh really!

VICTOR
I mean the Soviet Union.

PROFESSOR
Fairy tales. Can’t be.

VICTOR
Most of the time, my country’s interests fully coincide with the interests of other people.

PROFESSOR
For example?

VICTOR
Global security…

PROFESSOR
Hold on. Either you didn’t understand me, or you’re not being completely honest.

VICTOR
Can’t you understand that every local war can leads to a  global one?

PROFESSOR
Why’s that?

VICTOR
Alliances! Both of our superpowers are tied with tons of different contracts. Remember Sarajevo?

PROFESSOR
Back then everyone needed the war, but only for imperialists is aggression something of a habit, right? Socialism’s a peaceful society. It’s pacifist. Why did you then bind yourself with agreements to half of the world, automatically turning any local event into a global war?

VICTOR
International obligation…

PROFESSOR
Let’s do without demagogy.

VICTOR
We’re protecting our way of life!

PROFESSOR
But the West is also protecting its way of life.

VICTOR
From who?

PROFESSOR
From you.

VICTOR
Are we really intent on someone else’s enslavement? In any form? No. Busy ourselves with exporting revolution? Interfering in the business of others?

PROFESSOR
And vigorously! Even your Lenin taught, that possible peaceful coexistence does not mean an end to ideological warfare. After all, note, your war on ideology with the West has long grown into a frontier of indispensable defense. Even the lone fact of your being, your successes in any kind of activity, are weapons of ideological warfare.

VICTOR
But that is the only possible way of going from the old to the new in a peaceful fashion: through person, through group, through country.

PROFESSOR
Through continent.

VICTOR
Yes.

PROFESSOR
An interesting choice you leave us with: either we all slowly become socialists, or we perish.

VICTOR
We don’t want death.

PROFESSOR
We don’t want socialism.

VICTOR
There will come a time and no one will ask you.

PROFESSOR
We don’t want that time to come.

VICTOR
War? But no one can win. In my opinion, the smartest thing is to wait until that time comes, when war will cease to make any more sense.

PROFESSOR
For you or for us?

VICTOR
For everyone.

PROFESSOR
Well, Mr. Inin, you are certainly well prepared, and your head’s in the right place. Just picture, once I was supposed to meet with a certain person of stature and I became interested, is he a decent person. Just picture! And they told: a politician. The everyday measures of human ethics are inapplicable here. A person with knack for politics can make a career in any country under any system.

(Lights up on the entire down stage. Standing in front of her canvas, Michelle finishes up her painting.)

VICTOR
I don’t know. I probably could not in your country.

PROFESSOR
That means, in your country also. While it’s not too late, change your profession. (Michelle looks over her work.) Michelle, how long can two wise men force themselves to wait? (Michelle goes back to her work, signs it.) We already talked about everything.

MICHELLE
The signature’s the most important. (Flops into the chair just the way she is, with her paint-stained blouse and brushes in her hand.) Finished!

(Professor and Victor get up and look over the completed work. Blackout.)


Scene 6

Same place. Victor is on stage. We hear a loud, manly laugh. Enter Michelle and Eugene.

MICHELLE
I want you to meet someone: Victor Inin. Russian diplomat. Likes paintings.

(Eugene, with quick, light steps, moves in close to Victor. Michelle stays at the door, eyeing Eugene’s well-built figure.)

EUGENE
So you like paintings! (They shake. Victor’s hand drowns in Eugene’s huge tanned palm.) Eugene Frein.

MICHELLE
He’ll tell you everything about himself on his own. Even more than you wanna know.

EUGENE
Mademoiselle, why say that. Mr. Inin might think I’m some clown, but that’s not true. Believe me, nothing close to it, and even the opposite. (To Michelle.) And if I talk too much around you, that’s just a sign of my shyness.

MICHELLE
Oh no. Another shy one!

EUGENE
So I’m not the first?

MICHELLE
No. Not the first.

EUGENE
Again! Well this is too much. See, there you have it - I made a joke. I’m sorry, Michelle, it’s just that your beauty stifles me. I start spurting this drivel. Victor, you agree?

VICTOR
(Stunned.) Absolutely.


(Eugene turns around giving Victor the chance to slip unnoticed into a more “open” place on the stage.)

VICTOR
You too like paintings, Mr. Frein?

EUGENE
Oh yeah! This is my second day liking them!

(Eugene’s laugh is so contagious that Victor, not wanting to, joins in without realizing it.)

MICHELLE
I’ll go fix us something.

EUGENE
I’ll go with you! (Not stirring from his seat.) I’m a specialist on coffee. I learned in Greece. That’s where they know how! I love the East. Just give me a minute and I’ll make it. I guarantee you never tasted anything like this before. Michelle. Michelle!

(He runs after her.)

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
Victor Pavlovich, my dear, what is with you? You have become melancholy of late. Can I help you with anything?

VICTOR (VOICE)
I doubt that.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)               
I’m older than you, more experienced. Remember, “only idiots learn from their mistakes”?

VICTOR (VOICE)
“Don’t take others’ advice lest you wish, instead of your own mistakes, to commit someone else’s.”

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
All right, but keep in mind, your right to “your own mistakes” is limited within the constraints of the mission.

(Michelle enters trying to hide a smile.)

MICHELLE
He talks nonstop. He’s so funny.

VICTOR
He does not tire you?

MICHELLE
No.

VICTOR
Of course. He’s a Superman.

MICHELLE
He’s a regular guy. We met by accident yesterday. (She hugs Victor.) He was so entertaining…

VICTOR
By accident?

MICHELLE
Yeah. I have great luck lately with accidental meetings.

VICTOR
Are you referring about me?

MICHELLE
Well there you go. You’re hurt again. Victor, you’ve become this paranoid, agitated person.

VICTOR
Agitated?!

(Eugene sets the table humming a happy march.)

EUGENE
It’s ready. The official drink. Only here. The highest quality for the lowest price. Why so glum?

MICHELLE
(Sags into a chair.) I don’t know. Everything’s fine.

VICTOR
Exactly. Fine. (He drinks.) Hmm. It really is one of a kind. (He sits.) You didn’t waste your time in Greece for nothing. You were there long?

EUGENE
It’s a wonderful country. (He marches around the stage, motioning with his cup.) The food there! After Greece, our stuff was like synthetic macaroni that’s been recycled.

MICHELLE
(Choking on her food,) Eugene!

(The men laugh.)

VICTOR
Official business in Greece?

EUGENE
See, I’m a big exporter specialist. If you believe it, I’m actually appreciated. Optimism, the human spirit - they’re my greeting cards, if you will. But, believe me, I’m very serious and, I repeat, very shy.

VICTOR
(Gets up.) I am sorry Michelle, but I have to go.

MICHELLE
Already?

EUGENE
Don’t worry. I won’t leave you here all alone.

MICHELLE
I’m sorry, Eugene. I’m very tired and I wanted to get to bed early. If you don’t mind.

EUGENE
All right then, later! I tired you out with all my talking. All right, I’ll call tomorrow. Don’t thank me. Well, Mr. Inin, let’s go. (Leads Victor to the door.) The lady wants to sleep. Good night, mademoiselle.

VICTOR
(Peeking from behind Eugene’s shoulder,) Good night, Michelle…


Scene 7

The interior of the familiar bar. Center stage, behind a coffee table, sit Victor and Eugene. Eugene is lively, looking around as if he owned the place.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
Any good news, Victor Pavlovich?

VICTOR (VOICE)
None, except to say, I have new competition.

EUGENE
Nice place, huh? Hey, what’s a matter? You don’t like our bars? They got better ones in Moscow?

VICTOR
No, it’s just I have already been here.

EUGENE
All right. I won’t ask with who. Eugene Frein is tactful. But listen, we could’ve gone to another place around here. (Looks in disbelief at Victor, crouching in his chair.) You’re a funny guy, Victor.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
Competition? No. Opponent! Enemy! Do away with your illusions: your new friend met Korsh just as “accidentally” as you. You still don’t get it?

VICTOR (VOICE)
Who is he then?

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
Counterintelligence. And unlike you, he is a specialist!

EUGENE
So what’d you think of the gallery show?

VICTOR
Complete nonsense. A dead end.

EUGENE
That’s possible. That’s possible. Art often leads us into dead ends. But it’s the movement that counts. And not by the masses. But there’s a way out of every dead end.

VICTOR
For them, I doubt it.

EUGENE
That doesn’t matter. Even what we saw wasn’t a dead end. More like the acknowledgment of that dead end.

VICTOR
That is too complicated for me, but I don’t sense any art in here. Maybe it is original to show your self to the public. But what does it have to do with art?

EUGENE
My friend, this is a long and pointless argument. It’s old as time. But I love arguing! All right, for starters, I think we should take a position on the subject.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
Be careful. Don’t overplay it. I hope he still thinks of you a romantically-oriented diplomat.

VICTOR (VOICE)
I’m sure of it.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
God willing. To speak honestly, you seem to have more romance than you know what to do with. You see him often?

VICTOR (VOICE)
I see him all too much. We are inseparable. Just like in O’Henry; friends-rivals.

SUPERVISOR  often
Just keep your composure.

EUGENE
Art, right? Art… It is anything stemming from the consciousness. That’s all.

VICTOR
I think, that art is something that teaches, enlightens, adorns, and in the end, betters the person and the world around them.

EUGENE
Scandalizes, unearths, frightens, and turns the whole world and the human existence into one big farce. (He laughs.) You know the old story? These two debaters come up to an old sage, parading in front of his students. They ask him: “Tell us who’s right, old sage.” So the old sage asks one of them to tell him their side of the argument, and then the old sage says, “You’re right, my son” and lets him go. Then he asks the other guy to tell him his side of the argument. So the old sage listens to the other guy and says, “You’re right, my son” and also lets him go. Then one of the students ask the old sage: “Teacher, you told both of them that they were right, but that can’t be!” And the old sage answered, - “You too are right, my son.”

VICTOR
So any argument is useless?

EUGENE
You too are right, my son! A friend once told me, “Don’t ever argue - just spit back what you know.”

VICTOR
And nobody admits the other one is right.

EUGENE
Wait a minute, you seriously believe that by arguing with a person you can get them to change their opinion? Wow. A utopia you got going there!

VICTOR
Then why do we… Then why argue at all? To pass time?

EUGENE
Just to talk with someone. Arguing’s the best kind of talking. Well, with guys anyway. (Stands up lazily.) Listen, why don’t we go someplace else?

VICTOR
Another showing?

EUGENE
You won’t see these in Moscow.

VICTOR
(Standing up.) Maybe that is because I don’t need to see these?

(The two move towards the exit. Eugene moves his hand on Victor’s shoulder and speaks to him prudently from above.)

EUGENE
You gotta eat an orange to know what it tastes like.

VICTOR
But you don’t have to drink the entire sea to know what it tastes like.

(Eugene laughs. The exit. Lights dim. Curtain draws.)


Scene 8

Front stage, in front of the drawn curtain. Victor moves anxiously back and forth.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
It’s almost over. Homesick yet?

(Michelle appears. She’s in a hurry. Victor rushes to greet her.)

MICHELLE
Victor? You’ve been waiting long?

VICTOR
No. Not really. I thought you were in the studio. You used to work during this time. Your favorite light.

MICHELLE
Something came up in the city.

VICTOR
Important things, I bet.

MICHELLE
Please, Victor. Not now.

VICTOR
Right. Eugene! Rich, cheerful, handsome!

MICHELLE
Oh God! Handsomeness is not a guy’s main quality. It’s just easier with him, can you understand that? No. You can’t. I don’t even see him that often. Well, not as often as you.

VICTOR
You’re jealous!

MICHELLE
Stop it! Get a hold of yourself.

VICTOR
And there he is. Incoming.

MICHELLE
You coming in?

VICTOR
At another time.

(Michelle exits. His eyes follow her in, then he turns briskly, and taking a few steps, bumps into the professor.)

PROFESSOR
Wow there! Open your eyes, young man!

VICTOR
I’m sorry. Good evening, professor. I lost myself in my thoughts.

PROFESSOR
You’re thinking! I don’t believe it!

VICTOR
I thought it’s about time to start.

PROFESSOR
I think your time’s long overdue.

VICTOR
What do you mean.

PROFESSOR
Me? I mean, about life. About Michelle. Well, how’s thinking working out for you? Not analyzing, but thinking. With your eyes open. It’s easier when they’re closed, I know. You stick out your arms, someone picks you up by the armpits, and just carries you. Just like that. Smack your forehead into something - it’s not your fault. Hell, you don’t even see the obstacles. A little wooden board or a fence - you don’t know, you don’t care. Just stick out your arms farther and they keep on carrying you. Just like that, until your grave. And some open their eyes, they get scared and squint. Real snug over there.

VICTOR
I don’t understand. I don’t understand anything.

PROFESSOR
That’s a shame. Let me ask you, why do you think I’m so drawn to Michelle?

VICTOR
Modern art…

PROFESSOR
Bull.

VICTOR
You love her.

PROFESSOR
Can you love or not love, say, flowers, grass, the sun? You can either live with them in harmony, or not live at all. I doubt Michelle herself knows this. But how much can a person know about himself? While you and Eugene, you’re both idiots. You, probably, feel the same emptiness, but you blame it on the world around you, your life, your circumstance. (Pats Victor on the arm. Starts past him. Looks back.) Open your eyes, young man.

VICTOR
And that will make it easier?

PROFESSOR
No, to stick out your arms is easier.

(Lights fade.)


Scene 9

Michelle’s studio. Victor, holding back his agitation, walks back and forth in front of the window. Michelle is painting, standing in front of her canvas.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
Now then, is the handover getting near?

VICTOR (VOICE)
I think so. The professor may bring the documents any day.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
Great. The why are you so worried?

MICHELLE
Victor, stop flickering back and forth!

VICTOR (VOICE)
It’s not obvious? It’s not some small piece of tape; it is a  thick envelope at best. And what if my see-all friend Eugene happens to catch us?

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
That is not probable.

VICTOR (VOICE)
“Why are you so worried.” They’ll grab me before I can even reach the car. And the professor too.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
No, my friend. They’ll grab you sooner. On the stair landing, probably.

VICTOR (VOICE)
It’s not funny! What do I do?

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
Don’t get agitated. Just do as you were instructed. Signal out the window - but only after you receive the documents. And then what?

VICTOR (VOICE)
After ten minutes, I open the front door from the studio.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
At which time two of our associates will ring into the  empty apartment. And after another five minutes you exit unnoticed. Get change in the elevator. After three blocks you will change a car. And that’s it.

MICHELLE
Daydreaming?

VICTOR
Yes. About you.

MICHELLE
(Humming,) About you, always about you… That left corner’s giving a headache.

SUPERVISOR (VOICE)
Calmness and composure. Precision! Want to go home already?

VICTOR (VOICE)
Yes, I do. I guess I do.

(Enter Professor and Eugene.)

EUGENE
Your guest is here! Your biggest fan!

PROFESSOR
It’s cruel to make jokes at an older man. How can I compete with you or Mr. Inin? Young, handsome.

EUGENE
And you’re a scientist known world-wide. Women like notoriety. Professor, where would you stand on our discussion: is the theater dying out. I think, film tripped it up, television knocked it down, and stereo television is the last nail in the coffin.

VICTOR
(Stubbornly.) Even stereo cannot replace the interaction with a live actor.

PROFESSOR
Michelle, I came to ask for a moment of your time.

(Michelle puts down her paint brushes and wiping her hands, moves away from the canvas.)

MICHELLE
Sorry, I was working. And these two over here - dying, not dying. Eugene, the coffee is your department.

EUGENE
There you have it. Intellectual relaxation for some, hard labor for others.

MICHELLE
Don’t whine, I’ll keep you company. We’ll be quick.

EUGENE
I’m joking! I got it.

MICHELLE
(Pushing from behind.) All right, all right. Let’s go.

EUGENE
Michelle, you have guests.

MICHELLE
You don’t want my company? Or maybe you’re afraid I’ll give away your secret recipe?

EUGENE
No. (Looks back at the two remaining behind.) That secret doesn’t worry me all.

(They exit. The professor, vigilant and alert, quickly moves towards Victor. In a manner that is not characteristically his, he looks rather entertained.)

PROFESSOR
Mr. Inin, I need a small favor from you.

VICTOR
Everything that’s in my power…

PROFESSOR
Take it. Pass it on to your embassy. Trust me, it’s incredibly important.

(The professor jumps back to the canvas. Michelle runs in.)

MICHELLE
Can you believe it, he threw a fit. “Leaving your guests unattended”. Nice, huh?

PROFESSOR
Right. As always. Attendance is most important. Attendance and surveillance. Well, I’m sorry but I must leave you. Plans, plans, and nothing but. But next time I will definitely try that wonderful coffee of his.

MICHELLE
I’ll see you out.

(They exit. Victor walks to the window, adjusts his tie, and, looking at the clock, moves away. Eugene rolls in the table, eyeing the room carefully.)

EUGENE
This is just great. I’m in there busting my hump! Where’d everybody go?

VICTOR
The professor left. Some important plans. Michelle…

MICHELLE
I’m right here! (She appears.) I didn’t go anywhere.

EUGENE
As if the professor wasn’t enough. Even Victor’s in a hurry somewhere.

VICTOR
You’re imagining things.

EUGENE
I’m trying…

MICHELLE
Oh God, more complaining! What kind of men are you? Don’t worry, we’ll give your unearthly nectar its due praise.

VICTOR
And if you had also made sandwiches - you would be simply priceless.

EUGENE
You’re mocking me? No, no, this kind of exploitation, not even a labor union can take.

MICHELLE
Don’t. We can do it themselves. Will you help me?

VICTOR
My pleasure!

(Victor and Michelle exit. Eugene takes out his communicative device.)

EUGENE
Number three, Number three.

NUMBER 3 (VOICE)
Here, chief.

EUGENE
Get ready.

NUMBER 3 (VOICE)
We’re ready, chief.

EUGENE
Number two, Number two.

NUMBER 2 (VOICE)
Number two, here.

EUGENE
Who went after the professor?

NUMBER 2 (VOICE)
Number 7, chief.

EUGENE
Number seven.

NUMBER 7 (VOICE)
Listening.

EUGENE
Don’t let him out of your sight, watch him tightly. Move in only when I say so.

(Eugene quickly hides his device. Michelle, almost from the door, jumps on his lap.)

MICHELLE
Here’s me! Did you miss me?

EUGENE
Very! Where’s Victor?

MICHELLE
Victor, Victor! Like Siamese twins. Making sandwiches, your Victor. Turns out he’s a natural around the house.

EUGENE
Exactly.

MICHELLE
Not like you. Nothing but coffee.

EUGENE
Instead, I have a lot of other good qualities.

MICHELLE
Wait. He’s coming.

(She jumps into the neighboring chair. Victor enters with plates stacked to his nose.)

VICTOR
Lunch is served.

EUGENE
First time I’m being served by a diplomat. Wow. I don’t believe it. Tell me, Victor, you have all these things in Moscow?

VICTOR
In Moscow? In Moscow wives cook dinner! A first course, a second, even a third. Eh, you can’t even imagine what home-cooked soup tastes like. And borscht! And here… (Choking from excitement.) A kingdom of sandwiches!

EUGENE
(Stunned by Victor’s sudden metamorphosis.) It’s a matter of taste.

VICTOR
It is true, especially when made by such wonderful hands.

(Kisses Michelle’s hand. Looks her in the eyes.)

MICHELLE
What’s with you? You’re in tears, even!

VICTOR
(Turning away.) Memories… (Jumps to his feet.) Oh devil. I forgot juice!

EUGENE
I’ll get it.

VICTOR
Relax, mister coffee. (Lightly putting him back in his seat and messes up his hair with his hand.) Today is my day.

(Victor exits, slightly shaking. Pause.)

MICHELLE
He’s so strange today.

EUGENE
(To himself.) Yeah. Today.

MICHELLE
I think I like him better this way.

EUGENE
That’s too bad. (Sighing.) Eh, Victor…

MICHELLE
Eugene, are you listening?

EUGENE
As always, my dear, with utmost attention.

MICHELLE
I’m saying, I think he was real just now, whole… He always had this kind of duality about him. I thought, it was organic… and now I get it - he was just afraid…

EUGENE
And now he stopped?

MICHELLE
He stopped. Probably had a breakdown.

EUGENE
(Flying out of his seat,) Maybe this “breakdown” is what’s keeping him. I’ll help!

(He runs out. We hear the shatter of silverware, the door slamming. Michelle gets up.)

MICHELLE
What’s with everyone!

(Eugene rushes in.)

EUGENE
He’s gone!

MICHELLE
Can’t be. He left and didn’t say goodbye?

EUGENE
Stupid! He did! Number three! Number three! Three, Goddamn it! Number two!

NUMBER 2 (VOICE)
Number two here.

EUGENE
What’s with Number three?

NUMBER 2 (VOICE)
Don’t know, chief.

EUGENE
Did russian leave?

NUMBER 2 (VOICE)
No, chief.

EUGENE
Three! Three! Two!

NUMBER 2 (VOICE)
What, chief?

EUGENE
Did anybody leave?

NUMBER 2 (VOICE)
Ten minutes ago some two guys came up in this fancy car. They rang apartment 17, someone opened. Just now they left.

EUGENE
Catch them! Idiots! Catch them!

MICHELLE
(Pleading.) What’s going on?


(EUGENE runs off.)

MICHELLE
I don’t get it… Why did Victor… Why… Eugene… (Eugene enters.) Who is he?

EUGENE
Who is he! Number two, number two!

NUMBER TWO (VOICE)
Number four and number five are after them.

EUGENE
Get everybody! Block roads and check every Goddamn car.

NUMBER 2 (VOICE)
Even the diplomatic ones?

EUGENE
Goddamn it, especially the diplomatic ones! Idiots! Search the Goddamn house, find me the bastard! I’ll make a mattress out of him! Number three’s completely lost. (To Michelle.) Who is he? A Bolshevik agent, that’s who. God help me. Afraid! Of course! Fooled us like Goddamn children! And your professor’s a piece of work!

MICHELLE
Get out! Get out! Now! You’re all the same. (Eugene, carelessly throwing his hand, exits.) You’re all the same.
(She cries. Lights dim. Curtain draws.)


Scene 10

The curtain is drawn. Downstage center, in a ray of light, stands Victor.

ANNOUNCER (VOICE)
Flight IL-62, Washington-Paris-Moscow, now boarding at gate number nine. I repeat, flight…

VICTOR
So this is it… The mission completed… perfectly. Nobody needs me anymore. Michelle… already knows. Eugene didn’t shy from telling her who I really am. At the embassy, I was never a part of. (Next to him appears Eugene. He’s uncharacteristically serious. Both look into the audience.) Yeah… Nobody needs me. Not even myself.

EUGENE
Not true. I need you.

VICTOR
(Shaking.) Eugene! How did you…?

EUGENE
You know.

VICTOR
Not really. I’m not a professional.

EUGENE
That I knew. (Smiling, but not cheerfully.) An amateur  painter, and still fooled me.

VICTOR
It happens. Plus I had people behind me.

EUGENE
I know. I even know who. Don’t look at me like that. I’m off duty. I’m seeing off a friend. Forever. We won’t see each other again.

VICTOR
Not again.

EUGENE
You’ll be thanked, you’ll be a made man… Oh by the way, if it’s no secret, what’s your profession? Your real profession.

VICTOR
I am art critic.

EUGENE
What?! (Only now turning to face Victor.) No, you don’t! (Laughs.) Wow!

ANNOUNCER (VOICE)
Flight IL-62, now boarding...

EUGENE
Yeah, you play your cards well. You won. Victor won!

VICTOR
Eugene!

EUGENE
Everything just like it should be. Now the winner, with his head held up high, goes up the ramp. Up the ramp!

VICTOR
A brilliantly played part of a marionette. (He stick out his arms and closes his eyes.) And they lead you. Well, they lead me right, dragged me by the meat, and we won. (Lowers his arms, opens his eyes.) And I lost. Michelle, you… and myself.

EUGENE
Eh. The world of the seeing is not for us.

VICTOR
I don’t know…

EUGENE
Michelle... She threw me out. Some scene that was.

VICTOR
Don’t tell me.

EUGENE
Really?

VICTOR
You still have your chances.

(Pause.)

ANNOUNCER (VOICE)
Last call for boarding flight IL-62; Washington-Paris-Moscow. Last call for boarding…

EUGENE
Well… (He offers his hand.) I won’t forget you.

VICTOR
Me too.

(Their handshake is as if a bond, and something of importance. And not only for them alone.)

EUGENE
Goodbye.

(Eugene vanishes. Only Victor’s face remains in that spotlight.)

VICTOR
Goodbye… This is it… I’m on the ramp. Feel as if someone is looking. Michelle? Too late. Too late...

(Blackout.)


The End