Swami that initiated me took advantage of me sexua

I had a Shaktipat Initiation a few years ago. I meditate and I have active Kriyas. I feel somewhat uncomfortable about the process because the Swami that initiated me took advantage of me sexually by attuning to some dark forces that were dormant in me that I was not aware of until recently. I have focused purely on the light not wanted to explore the dark until recently I have become aware that there was a demon inside of me that had been there since childhood. The holistic practices and lifestyle that I have chose have most likely saved me from a lot of pain and suffering. The initiation The swami gave me was different than the other initiates that I witnessed who were given a mantra and a tap on the head and sat in meditation with him. With me he did a laying on of hands and said that something coming through him liked me. In hindsight I recall that he wouldn't look me in the eyes for a long period of time. I wonder if as I practice my meditation am I attracting dark energies to myself if my initiation came through him? I naturally became inclined to chant the gayatri for months now instead of the mantra he gave me and I still get kriyas. I no longer have contact with this swami. I felt like I had fallen in love with him and had an affair with him outside of my marriage during the course of my initiation and was encouraged by him to "compartmentalize" our relationship. Currently I am working with cultivating awareness of my soul, soul loss, soul retrieval and getting to know what it is in myself that attracted the dark forces to me in the first place so I can become fully awakened and empowered. Any insight is appreciated.
 Peace and Blessings



cuotation:Swami that initiated me took advantage of me sexually"- I would advice you to watch Holy wind"- hope you d find some answers there



d.s.
I truly beleive that tantric techniques can bring us to enlightening, but the case ythat ou are merried with another man is different ... so I think it was not right to act this way for him,I am not in any case dontw want to become a judge in such situation, every case is different: there is a story when one monk tryed to rape one girl from nearest villiage, and when her mother recognised in apperance this particular man-monk or heremit, she asked him why did you tried to rape my daughter, he replied that another deperted man, highly enlightened got a change to receive again a human body, but his carma was so bad that rape wasnt successfuill, sorry my imperfect language, but you  ve got the meaning...

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Your story is confusing. Hard to tell if this swami had an impure intention or you had some dormant love/lust issues that came to the surface. Were you and the swami intimate or it was simply laying of hands? What do you mean he wanted to "compartmentalize"? The mind is a complex thing, shaktipat can free up a lot of blockages. That being said there are lots of Pervy Swamis and gurus out there, some mixed with varying degrees of actual spiritual knowledge, some outright frauds..,
In the present moment you can release anything that doesn't serves you any more. Whatever challenges you had it doesn't define who you really are, highest expression of Divine Love and Light, perfect in every moment of your existence

Has this Swami touched you inappropriately or made any sexual comments towards you? If this is not the case then it may be something else. 2016 has the numerology of 9 the number of completion. It has been a difficult year for many people and more than a few have been forced to face the dark side of themselves, including their sexual demons, that may include actual hallucinations, and they may feel like they are in hell. This is a psycho-spiritual crisis, an unfortunate natural part of the healing process of integrating the Light and Shadow self, the Dark Night of the Soul. It is necessary for you to let go of your past and all fears so you can move forward and be made whole. Embrace and Love yourself completely even the Ugly bits and know there is a Light at the end of the tunnel. 2017 has the numerology of 1, the number of new beginnings so things are going to be good



respons of a lady author
Bayond
what actually happened, I am most interested to know if whatever demons the swami is associated with are being conjured up by meditations as I feel a lot of energy. The Swami's behavior was inappropriate and I allowed it. We had an affair. Its challenging for me to trust myself, my intuition and what is safe and what is not in regards to the energetics of relationships. In many ways this has been a year of a dark night of the soul.
another advise

In that case it be best to sever all ties with him, including breaking chakra cords. A Usui Reiki Master should be able to break the bonds and clear away any lower frequency entity interference (including demonic parasites and nasty earthbound ghosts). The Reiki Master can also teach you spiritual defense against such entities any further psychic attack.

A L

I am so sorry this swami took advantage of you. As humans we tend to let other humans in authority positions call the shots and we trust. I call it guru mentality.
One important thing I have learned as I had a toxic teacher as well, when we ask for a teacher, we get the teacher we need, not the one we want.
That doesn't mean that what this teacher did was okay, but it may have been a valuable experience for you to have learned from?
My teacher was a shaman and mentally abusive, but I also got many gifts from her that I still use.
For me, it taught that all of us humans are imperfect, to never put anyone on a pedestal. Teachers come to help lead you to YOU, the ultimate guru. More teachers will probably come to help you on your path, everyone is a teacher, really. I don't subscribe to the "you don't need a teacher" notion. Because you do. That is how knowledge is passed.
I think if I were to suggest mantras to meditate on to find the guru within, they would be Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo, this one calls upon the guru within to guide you and is said to create a golden chain to great teachers to come forth and guide you, and Sat Nam, Sat Nam means my true self, truth is my name. You can mentally meditate on it with your breath, eyes closed focused to 3rd eye, inhale say to yourself Sat, exhale Nam. Another is Adi Shakti, this one healed me, it calls upon and honors the kundalini power.
These exercises may give you deeper understanding to the "demon within" which may be the shadow self. If it truly is an entity, continue to seek guidance, go to positive things, practice the mantras and you will no longer be a good host.
Here are instruction videos for ong namo guru dev namo and Adi Shakti. Try doing it for 3 minutes a day then work up to 30 minutes or more. Or sing it before doing Adi Shakti. Do it for at least 40 Days and see what happens. It is said if you practice a mantra for 21/2 hours, it will completely transform you. But, it takes time to work up to that Смайлик «wink»;)
https://youtu.be/7b3uFK01-u4
https://youtu.be/41qNUFU4hOI


If the kundalini is really awake, let them work. The process will continue without this Swami. Even if he was not clean and the kundalini was awakened, remember that the kundalini is the holy power and cleanses you from everything. Bit by bit. Leave the fingers away from Reiki. This is very contraindicated. Do not trust any healers with a running kundalini. If the kundalini is running, you should only work with initiated people who are also running this process. The dark and negative beings are very interested in awakening people. Sometimes it is not easy to figure out those who work with really good-minded entities. If one is entrusted with Kundalini simply healers, there may be an evil awakening. Let your Swami go, you have your experiences and do not condemn you for it. Look forward and let yourself be guided by your holy energy. She has all the wisdom you need for the process. You will master yourself step by step, without the help of Swamis. Trust....


Thank you all for your kind and encouraging words. As I mentioned above the swami was inappropriate and I allowed it. He has been a powerful teacher for me in the realm of boundaries energetic and physical. also showing that things aren't always what they appear to be. I too have read Jung and have been working with my shadow and animus\anima archetypes. This seems to have led me to a shaman that revealed to me that I have a demon entity that took residence in me since childhood that has contributed to ill health physically and mentally. It's been emotional accepting this truth. I'm a love bug and have a great big heart yet my relationships have been nothing but turbulent so it makes sense. also there is childhood trauma of sexual abuse that I have vague memory of. I seem to have blocked most of it out. So yes it would seem the swami is the trickster teacher needed to shed light on this core wound around sexuality and allowing inappropriate things to be done to me.

I am learning the nature of demonic forces which is why I put this post up. I haven't looked into these types of things ever. Been focused on being a light worker teaching yoga,acupressure massage,herbal medicine and gardening. I love to be in nature. Never did I consider this idea. My business creations seem to have faltered over the years as well. Again hard truth to accept I'm just getting acquainted with the scars left behind and a sense of internal peace I haven't known before without the application of all things holistic to self soothe.