Letter to John

Hello dear John! My name is Val Belin - composer & musician from Russia. I'm your real fan since my early youth. But not just a fan. I'm your follower in the good reason. Some of the moments of my biography are very similar to yours. And the wonder was happen when you has been arrived on the Estonian Land - Piarnu Fest in 1990 - it was June. Here is some of my recollections:
 
... It was difficult to understand what was happened with the time, whether it lasted, whether it flied. It was almost raining. The internal pressure grew. If to get to the bottom of the depth of soul the question - yes there nested whether or not? All of objective - reasonable, named the future, asserted - yes, all of subjective - doubting, determined as the past, pulled back and scratching - it's not a present. The present did not come. John's concert should be held directly on Piarnu's beach, i.e. on a coast of Baltic Sea. The patience has bursted. Legs themselves have carried me on the beach. In a small town to do this - that was already nothing. Like it summer referred to, but in Baltic summer frequently happens similar to an autumn and will not stint on dank windy... ... Again passing by a building of organizing committee of the festival, I have noticed the unusual machine - a minibus, unusual - because living at that time in Soviet Union it was hard to imagine this kind of a car - our consciousness was like a squared body - HomoSoveticus. Snatched out the subjects which were not appearing on a map of consciousness from any space, and painfully started to study in them each stroke or a roughness, let alone unusual paint and the invoice of a material. An alien body - THEY! The matter is that I was alone. Fairly having wandered on Piarnu, I have understood, that new we each other any more shall not tell anything, and I am too deep inside was, that on a surface of a life I could be kept long - we have left, that will meet prior to the beginning of a concert. If to try to analyze from height of the today's review the destiny always left me in loneliness before the person of fatal meetings and events - there was no exception at this time. All became clear, is naked and is open - at such moments God deprives with us gift of speech, time and consciousness. All is subject to you, but you already in the other measurement, and in a body you or outside of it, you can realize. Legs - it is far also they go, but the soul flies beside, ahead, above, where? Is there a machine or not - machine and two persons or not - persons standing - one of them is smaller growth, is swarthy - the Hindu not - Hindu. I'm not feeling myself – that was me, coming nearer to it, see it or him - is there I'm eating, I'm drinking, I'm flying, I'm shouting, I am silent, I wait, eyes of him conduct behind themselves, before themselves, above myself and above all I see I'm not - see, I perceive, falling, I am involved, stop at edge of a precipice - there a chasm - HIS EYES - inside them all the world - he - it does not recognize, or can not recollect - warmly, a cold, grief, pleasure, depth, rest - it has confirmed inside of me that I know or don't know I - I convinced, all has been solved before - digits are running in my head - I come back in itself and give him the cassette - during the concert be there - all will be understandable by itself- I wasn't going - I was flying, that was blessing or a parting word – there were began more of myself- I wasn't alone – I was Us!
 
... I never forget this time. It was like a wonder from space to see you playing with Kai Erchart & Trilok Gurtu on the Piarnu beach. That time we have met but of course you don't remember me. Because I was frozen and I had no chance to pronounce any word standing in front of you. There were many obstacles why I didn't push me to say - hello John, I'm this, I'm that! I saw your cosmic sight through me and there were stars and planet spinning around. It was the real Mahavishnu sight! I can imagine how it was to you to become Miles Davis partner! I've heard your interview on abstractlogic website and I understood that your way up high never been simple and easy. As a real master you are standing alone and very high. I know, that these words from me it is 1% of what - I know - we can say to each other. Forgive me, if you feel that I a little bit over the rules of existence, 'cause I'm very excited! But truly - who knows the rules? I've been sending you a letters, through all of my life and never get the respond - it's like a mystical magic - to reach you and to speak to you. I hope this letter will reach you! I hope to receive your reply! Sincerely yours, Val Belin