The Psychologist

- Hello. May I talk to Margaret, please?
- Yes, that’s me.
- Nice to catch you, Maggie, I hope you are not cross with me anymore. You don’t sound like you did yesterday, thanks God. Listen, I have to…
- Wait, wait a second…
- I have to tell you how much I love you, I’ve got to apologize. I promise to be very good from now on!
- Sorry, but what has happened to your voice, John? Are you all right?
- Errr… I am perfectly well, but…
- Please don’t keep me in suspense! No bad news? How is your mother – is she getting better? We haven’t met for ages.
- Maggie, I think this is a funny coincidence, because I am not John, I am Michael. Please don’t hang up, I have been trying to reach Maggie, my girlfriend, after the break-up we had the other day, but she wouldn’t answer. Is your name Maggie, too?
- Yes, that’s right. You must have dialed a wrong number.
- Yes, I do realize that now, but please don’t hang up. Listen, she is terribly mad with me, and you have got such a wonderful voice. I bet you are a very good-looking girl, too.
- Well, I don’t mind talking to you for a minute, but you shouldn’t think me to be a stupid blond who is ready to flirt with strangers. I am not like that at all. But you’ve got to calm down first. Maybe, I can comfort you a little. But remember that’s only because there is another coincidence and my own boyfriend seems to have abandoned me. He is so much preoccupied with his sick mother, you know. I wonder if you can tell me exactly what happened.
- Oh, thank you, Maggie. Thank you ever so much! I am sure you know what it feels like to be lonely. Believe it or not, but I am done for. She won’t answer my calls, my e-mails, as if I had never existed.
- Do you think she might have her reasons to behave that way?
- You see, she has taken it into her head that I should do everything she wants to prove I really love her. But I am not God, I am just a human being, so I cannot always give up my work for her sake. Last time I was late for the date because of a long meeting I just couldn’t leave without making my boss furious. That’s the way it is. That’s the way it has always been! I have to work every day to earn my living. I cannot afford to take girls out to expensive places, and I know I cannot afford an apartment of my own, I can never afford a normal family…
- There, there, hold on! Are you sure you haven’t done anything tactless, offensive, I mean, something that could have set her against you?
- Nothing I am aware of. Well, she has always been very demanding, she hated me looking at other girls, let alone talking to them. And I couldn’t afford giving her expensive things, like jewelry, stuff like that. I start having second thoughts about it now. But you see, I am not a millionaire to spend money like water, I am just a simple clerk at an office.
- Look, Michael, you’ ve got to pull yourself together. You must have taken a fancy to that girl who thinks she is the queen of the world. I far as I can make out, she is not worth your suffering. It seems to me it is high time you stopped that fruitless affair of yours, otherwise you will get sick.
- You really think so?
- Of course I do. You see, I am someone able to look at this situation from the outside, I mean I am not taking sides. I think you should put a stop to it and start looking for someone else, from your closest environment. If you want to be happy, just don’t waste your life on imaginary princesses. Have you ever given it a thought that there are thousands of girls around you looking for a match. Many of them have to work full time, the way you do. And they may be pretty, too, without being choosy.
- Maggie, you are reasoning as if you were a psychologist. Now that you are saying it I think I can almost agree with you. But couldn’t we meet in person one day, perhaps?
That’s no problem at all. I am a practicing psychologist. But wait, don’t hang up! Come to see me at my office, Chasterton 25, Margaret Barret. Just have an appointment fixed with my secretary, and the first trial session is free, the prices affordable. You will feel a different man after a couple of sessions. You can find plenty of commendable references from my former clients in the Internet.