The Cop

- What are you doing here? This is private property. You can’t trespass.
- Please don’t worry. Everything is OK.
- But what are you doing in my back yard? If you don’t walk away at once, I’ll call the police.
- You don’t have to take the trouble. I am a policeman. You want to look at my badge and papers?
- No, thanks. I trust you. But why aren’t you wearing uniforms?
- I am in disguise.
- What are you looking for here?
- A dangerous criminal has escaped from jail and is at large now. Haven’t you listened to the news? He is in the top ten wanted list. The policemen of the whole town are chasing him all over the place.
- That may sound a stupid question, but why are you looking for him here?
- That’s simple. He can hardly be hiding here, and me, I am paid by the hour. I have got old parents to provide for, so I can’t afford taking risks. That’s exactly why I am looking for him at your place.
- You don’t seem to be doing your job.
- Yes, I am doing my job. I wonder what you would be doing if you were me and had only one more year of service left before the severance. Sorry to bother you, but I have got to collect your evidence, I mean I have to put down if you saw or heard anything unusual or suspicious this morning, from 7 through 11 o’clock.
- To tell you the truth, I have just woken up, because it happens to be my day-off today. I heard a strange noise outside, so I just walked out to check. Anything else you would like to know?
- And what about your husband? Is he at work? Has he seen anybody?
- I have got no husband, not yet. I just moved in here about a couple of months ago because I had been offered a job.
- Couldn’t we come inside to fill out some forms, madam? That won’t take long. And I would be immensely obliged if you offer me a cup of tea or coffee. The weather is unusually hot this summer, don’t you find so?
- It is. In fact, I am having breakfast now and you are most welcome to keep me company. I had no idea about the criminal. Now that you told me about him, I am getting frightened, because there is always a chance he might attack anybody, especially if he is a dangerous robber.
- That’s why I have already checked about twenty houses in your street to make inquiries, and I am quite exhausted. After all, the jail is not far away from here, and we have to make sure.
- You do look tired. Please, come on in and let’s come to the terrace and have breakfast together. There, take a seat.
- Thank you, that’s very kind of you, madam.
- You can call me Jessy, there is no need to be so official.
- Thanks, Jessy, nice to meet you. I am John. John Remington.
- Nice to meet you, too. Help yourself to some biscuits and tea.
- OK, let’s get down to business. I hope it won’t take us long. Is there anyone else in the house?
- I live alone. Why?
- It strikes me as being strange that such a pretty girl can do without a boyfriend.
- Well, I don’t think it has anything to do with the evidence I am supposed to give.
- Yes, it does. I have to ask questions to all community members, it’s a normal procedure. This is the best way to locate the guy. He must be in need of food, money and clothes.
- You see, I am a newcomer here and just haven’t had time to start any relationship. That is the reason why. But now that I come to think about it…
- Anything wrong? Why are you looking at me in that queer way?
- You don’t look like a cop at all. May I see your papers, please?
- Well, here they are. Now, would you sign these forms, here and here. That is to certify that you are not in possession of any information that might help establish the criminal’s whereabouts. Sorry to have taken so much of your time. And thank you for the tea again.

- Hey, there, Steve! You can get out of that wardrobe now. The cop is gone, so the coast is clear. But you see they are searching for you. You’d better leave as soon as you can. I am sick and tired of it. You know that you have set me up.
- Please don't be silly, Jess. Everything you see around here has been bought with the money I gave you. And now you are saying I am setting you up.
- But you don’t understand. I had to sign a document saying I couldn’t help the police, they have got my name and address, they may decide to check on my contacts, and they will get you, sooner or later. And they will get me this time, too.
- Please don’t make a fuss! Don’t think that you can get away with a few pennies now. You are my accomplice, that's what they call it, but it is me who had to do the bulk of the job, and it is me who got into jail for it. And you were enjoying yourself. God damn it, you have almost dragged that cop into bed!
- Look, Steve, don't let us start picking at each other now. That is the worst thing we can do. The cop was very inquisitive, he must have scent a rat, so I had to go out of my way to distract him.
-       I appreciate that, Jess. But I have to stay a couple of days longer, just to wait till the dust settles. Then I will get the hell out of this state, get hold of my money, and you can sell the house and join me later on.