Перевод на английский 3 Фрагмент 2002

THE  THIRD  FRAGMENT

           Word in winter. (About a gentle frost, snow love).


The story with participation of group "ApocaLyptica". (With 2 illustrations)
Is devoted ЧМЗ, as well as all Winter city.

The publishing house " Тараканий Забег ", exists the draft text two аудиокассеты with two variants - complete and incomplete.
Beginning of work above the story: 5.12.2002, окончание:10.01.2003.
All music: Summong, The Masque Of The Red Death, Apocalyptica, Trance- Psychedelic-Two,
Testament, Sepultura, Angezia, Pink Floyd, ELP, Dan Swano, John Cale, Шниттке, Стравинский, Пендерецкий, Прокофьев, Шёнберг, Глинка, Мусоргский, Чайковский, Вагнер. (20)
 Attention: not normative lexicon!

Epigraph:
"... There was no case, that language has not expressed an idea, which tried to transfer with its help. Do not trust the not skilful writers, which shift fault for their own inability  on language; the fault always lays on the writer, instead of in language "               
J. Vandries



1

The violet velvet with flickering sparks was strange allocated on a background of indistinct winter evening. Surprisingly, but it forced to make conclusions. As a sudden output  from loneliness - the velvet sent the signals. I did not think at all, that it could touch me. Strange expansion in something white and open... It is surprising, as so the suspension in an infinite turn of constant modelling of various designs of pleasure influences! Immersing in famine and the cold on personal expression suddenly begins to corrode polystratum  bark all accrued during ordinary residing... Only in such pure environment I begin to notice this own ugly bark from outgrowths of pleasures, pleasures and rough, exciting experiences concerning and more often without an occasion... But the violet curtain decorated a dark window too late evening of a trolley bus, and it at all did not understand, how looks so important and beautifully on a background quickly covering of gloomy night.
With approach of darkness the importance of smells grew. They suddenly sharply amplified and declared itself with doubtless evident! Only condition of cold famine or hungry cold and - main! - this winter cleanliness allowed to notice and suddenly at last visually and sensually to feel a spatial personal rule(situation) concerning subjects, phenomena and concepts... So, sudden drying cold, frozen by air of Great Winter has rendered on my the opened and leveled perception, pure and naked, certain influence similar to a unexpected push in a correct situation from constant former wrong... So suddenly understand, that at you in hands arbalest or sword, and under itself notice black horse, which simply can not stand on a place...
" So here is how, it appears, should be, That should make and How act! " Like instant vision, which try by all forces to keep to seize, all that is carried by past and again disappears. Only feverishly I try to keep in hands getting scrap this instantly flown by... And this scrap said, that real is somewhere in an external situation - not in me, and the actions mine can be justified only by actions directed from my centre on it, something, unknown, not clear, but already established, as the fact - external! Here I develop it further: mine the physical periphery should not replace departure from the personal centre. It is simple: external bustle does not replace with itself this connection of secret internal life (mine) with this not less mysterious, external, is constant disappeared by object. If to look from the party - it is valid: all that it similar also is easily confused, that is, I - among the people, establish the relation, I talk and I doubt, rage and I laugh: it would seem, nobody will tell, that I in loneliness. But it becomes terrible, when all that it will be reflected in a mirror of true: the manipulation only to itself and general self-isolation: only on itself, only on itself! Myself I advise: inhale more deeply night air of Winter: let this breath will approach flicking and disappearing. I knew, that all, certainly, not so it is simple. One " magic passes " and personally invented rituals will be insufficiently. And if I have undertaken for catching it is true external (as the clean light-blue sky) personal internal, that, probably, and it was necessary to behave more modestly and more with restraint. But it would be necessary. It would be desirable to create stimulating action, to force to be excited to this external. But rough actions and the tactless movements as if frightened my external phantom. Well what? And I must to do that what to breathe by winter freshness? It is necessary internally decrease and to hide in expectation... I do not believe, that there will be nothing. Will be shown, I should be shown - and in this moment it on a place and incarnate...
And in painful doubts, in painful experiences of own uncertainty I have appeared in a night winter street. I searched for a concrete corner as a point of readout: I needed to find such situation, which will deduce on disappearing the phenomenon. That all - it is artificial and in what I will result - it felt. It is necessary to return, to return to the house, stop to pursue behind inspiration and by  force to reach itself. Here something synthetic, as well as all reasoning on reasoning on reasoning on reasoning - and so on... For  that searched - was held. Simply to recollect, how it was held. In a heavy condition of inactivity I sat on the sofa and has stared in a window. Yes, this disturbing vibration was felt, and it should move apart all closed formations... How it began? The grey and unimaginably dusty foliage whistling November wind leaves on all fronts, and inside cold was already ready widen on all cleared by this November wind. Not casually so is strong and is noisy cold and dry November was arranged. Severe and strict failure from demonstrative boorish and rough wet mumbling of a dirty. For a long time has dried up and was curtailed, has fallen down in fatal spasms of a cold - ruthless and firm that referred to as as summer. One worrying air did not calm down and rustled, did not find to itself a place. Then it has taken place: a gloomy sight sullenly of a wood, stiffening in cold dream, and dying away, twisting springs of root forces - somewhere there, in dungeons. As if the wood knew: the fantasy of dynamic explosion is held in the winter. The dream promised to be rough and exulting. Only having eyes will see! Let's consider(count): Certainly, especial eyes distinguishing through environmental important dregs, of environmental, textures, which it is too much - and on all levels - from space designs up to atomic - such things and businesses, as the sirs throw out, basically, with contempt, as unnecessary dross, as made concrete, component in the final account ours miserable the world together with us, ladies & gentlemen!

2

Evening snow-flakes is hot and is brown sparkled by sharp instant glitter bits-flares. In painful and exciting December evening I very precisely saw and understood, what exactly it is warm from flashed by fast steps of the people hastening on a December frost with the urgent businesses is warmly and sway luminous brown fringe – tinsel of leaving imperceptibly December day. And this tinsel is sometimes sharp flick by silver snow-flakes. I, between that, thought, that, probably, my densely pressed object, to be exact, of round iron bank for fruit-drops, the employee now -home, sweet home- of buttons, paper clips, safe razors, little nails, screws and nuts, on the sly from me organises in itself this iron triviality at own discretion as internal bodies. It already forced me to test to it almost personal feelings: of course, it was insignificance a thing - and suddenly became living creature! I have found plastic transparent small case. " It is necessary  (bank) to separate, to create to her related formation ", - I thought, and suddenly arisen family silently amused me. Strange, but these reflections about iron trash did not correspond in any way with December evening low blizzard. A uncertain condition - the expecting emptiness instead of intense, twisting run of businesses before approach of New year - gave perfectly shattered, at all not co-ordinated in parts and elements a picture. Probably, therefore I almost seriously thought of an iron triviality, recovering it by the ridiculous imagination. But that undoubtedly worked is very active, strict, disciplinary, vigorous, cheerful and intriguing vote - air of December. And from it it was impossible anywhere to get to. " Immediately make a decision and make, make, make, - all that it will turn out ", - so was read in an atmosphere of December. And consequently all discovering at now the terms of concept, as the steel tools together with the Greek words and alphabet, French words and German were prevented, run over by waves against each other, as if trying to incorporate in one logic system formation. " Well and what there she(it) can think up to herself gut? " -  I ask solemn itself. " The long parallel nails at the bottom, fill up wallpaper nails, paper clips and buttons - as epithelium by a fabric unconsciously again to subjectivised to the bank, were decided, solved by with I about the invented interiors banks taken in head to become independent object.
And low blizzard  is promptly horizontal was carried, curved on all accessible planes, between that giving slaps to snowdrifts and fragile snow outgrowths, sometimes including to itself everyone wrappers candies, stubs, matches, empty banks and packs. It did not spoil it: furiously sparkling by flares of silver in brown, it remained aggressive both perfect, malicious and majestic simultaneously. It was very cold. And me this fact very much pleased and disturbed. Why? The cold, especially strong, promises always ahead meeting most intriguing, cheerful and loveful; such concentrated and mad. There would be no such cold - there would be nothing, any dynamics, changes, riddle, " secrets and delight it I knew precisely. A frost and its crystal formations confirm it. By the way, I stood at a stop. The evening in the meantime gloomy left in blackness of night. Everything has hidden. Strange, but I understood, that the concrete alarm of winter night is always inherent in it. " It is better at the night in the winter be not put out, and that such will see enough ", - so it is possible in word to express this condition - general, all concerning. And I want!!! I want! I want! I want! And consequently I middle in everything also tried in this promptly disappearing December magic time to visit maximal different places, to be in different situations and rules. Danger, the winter danger traps and attract!
I confidently assumed, that if slightly to change usual point of view, it is possible and to see this most " such will see enough ", and, in the end, has waited of completely crazy vision: on the end of the prospectus I have seen, how on black steed has passed same black rider in a raincoat. All this group (as it was somewhere at the  horizon) was on seen calculations of height in some floors. This vision has struck with the back of the hand. And I have recollected everything at once: where to me to go, in how many there to be and as a lot of time to me in general remained. Some time looked in that place, where so is real and the horse group " is negligent rambled ". But, probably, it there was any factory smoke a dirt, in what I, to the regret, have convinced, at last with so sorry, myself.
And to go to me it was necessary on a high-society party to one girl from elite of a high - society. She, by responses, ate extremely verses Гейне, Рильке, and also, on hors d'oevres, seriously thought about to give world, global importance to creativity of the German writer Эрик Мария Ремарк. And time I mentally have pulled out (absolutely inopportunely) on a surface a problem of a feed, as the importunate mosquitoes around of an image of this girl began here to turn trite пельмени and any "беляши". But if to speak the truth, to this there were bases consisting in some, softly speaking, completeness of this girl.


     3

The house, in which she lived, me has admired. It was - from height of our time already ancient construction, at which was such high ceilings, that in a room it was possible quite to play in basketball and to build such wild cases, that with top shelves to take the information only through a step-ladder. Such prestigious houses there was a lot, but, as it is not strange, is direct through a road, opposite(on the contrary), there were any wooden house - log hut - wreck, which were not entered in any way in this elite landscape. And, can, and were entered? " Yes, this is too much old, anyway... " - I have decided, coming in an entrance, amazing imagination, to which there was only one name deserved completely: "ПА-РАД-НОЕ".
The girl, painfully having made eyebrows like a house roof, also business thin fingers correcting at a temple glasses, which did not think to move down with her of nose bridge, by any leaving in foggy trance by a vote has invited to pass " in rooms ". All aesthetes, known for me, and aestheticesses there were going. Prepared candles and spoke about spiritualist session. It was terribly curious, and I hardly - hardly restrained, that how to not express in words the hot participation, but on a background of effective concourse I was looked ridiculously and was expressed awkward, unoriginal and ornate it is clever. Therefore I needed only with delight to watch for environmental, which, indulgently smiling, allowed me with them it to make. But sometimes again silly middle unnecessary ideas, for example: " Why, nevertheless, all of them such thick?.. " And, were confused and were ashamed for itself, left to search for lean soul, close to me consoled in inappropriate idea: " of the Good man should be much ".
... Standing on kitchen before a bowl, I in next time recollected seen at the approach to "па-рад-ному" of the girl: at wooden wreck there was a high heavy old man with dirty, but extensive grey haired beard. He, as strange pulling a head, is plaintive and it is melancholy wandered by a sight on this prestigious house, as if trying or something find out, or to find, at last, suddenly slammed and here missed in a dark evening twilight of December a door. This show then me is inexplicable and terribly has excited. " As Фирс Чехова, him all have forgotten! " - first analogy, that has come in a head. But first of all I was brought down, with sense with my own reaction: I and could not up to the end realize, that in me such rough was suddenly excited.
" Let, let him in! " - I thought and here simultaneously thought, as though addressing to the old man: " Let, let me in! " What is that? How will order to me - me was to understand? Feeling of the property and secret this another's, with desire to merge it, another's and vile dirty, worn out with the property to combine this another's with, personal, intimate, internal - how to combine of the razor, needle, button and paper clip in my round tin bank.
" So, you want to tell, what it and refers it to as creativity? " - as it is not clear, what wind brought the question rushed in a head by. But a paradoxical combination of two appeals " let him in! - let me in! " was held undoubtedly as the fact and from it was already impossible to escape. And the old man, suddenly having thrown asking to consider the prestigious house, suddenly began to look directly at me. He knit his brows and, contemptuously having bended under big & long a moustache of a lip, began to nod with blame hardly appreciably head. Very clearly, almost aloud, in air hung: " And you there... " And also: " Bastards... "  He hardly has lowered a head, and  his face became suddenly prompt black  up to winter darkness. Then he has involved a head and, stooping, fine little steps go out in the party of the wooden house. I swear: when he turned away from me, for one second have sparkled, as in the evening snow-flakes - is shrill and is sharp - fibbers of his eye. But I did not think, that they can be bloody ruby. For horror fever has struck to me in my face. I here have recollected then rider in a raincoat, which as stoop went on hardly rambled on his black steed. I so these seconds was frightened, as if the old man has taken away in me and has carried away with itself my soul. " The Grandfather, you catch a cold, why you send without a cap? " - as the child at all who is not able for to stand, I almost have not told him this nonsense, but it should to speak literally in his wide trace on snow: the old man left, turning all importance mine high intellectual and gentle of a measure for cover by a leather felt-boots.
And as a result, standing at a bowl and having stared in sewer an aperture, I began to understand, why now not in a due measure complexing. At such moments earlier I always felt wide and stupid(blunt) (in sense firm) plane, about which mine carelessly rest by needles many pair of compasses of the gentle-high representations aesthetes  the friends. Here I have made out much wider, rather than mine, plane. It is possible to tell, it was extensive or at all had no any borders, and besides why that created to me absolutely intolerable internal discomfort...



4

Having returned in a society, I with simplification have sighed: it appears, during my kitchen experiences my true friend has come. He is skilful to simulate, basically, any style and what tone it is possible only to present of concourses and companies. By the way, my friend as a blasting element worked: like an alien infection he took root in organism and began the destructive activity; that is, any measure, even most serious, completely imperceptibly, smoothly and strongly simultaneously turned due to his efforts to idle time usual and primitive drinking party  - with songs, laughter, dances and, certainly, looking for vodka.
Therefore I have found out in a room with extinguished light (on a floor burned candles) sitting in Turkish style on little and round rug  of the friend, and girl-poet - with strange stick out pelvis - in the centre of the little candles. She, not clear image curved, vigorously, as Niger-hooker, every time to the left, pulled by this her pelvis and hips, - probably, had time(was in time) to use something more essential, than verses Гейне. All people with hot approval and simultaneously cried out something ecstatic (at times almost vulgar  " Hoba! Hoba! Hoba! "), in the exact consent with aggressive twitch of buttocks of the girl, and I, nothing understanding, but having ceased on time to be a wide plane for environmental, have left in the next room, where, except for book racks, anything any more was not. There was only ancient grandmother of the girl-poet, which at a kind has me, squeeze of a lips, as I have understood, returned the book on its lawful place and has concentrated by a sight on a place opposite to mine.
" Excuse, and you will not tell, who lives or lived in these wooden houses through a road, opposite? " - I have asked the grandmother. She with a quiet vote, cold and not expecting any external estimations has answered: " the Former attendants ". She has made almost "лю" in a word "обслуживающий (serving)", than has expressed an inexpressibly delightful, rough shade of the Caucasian contempt. And, can, not Caucasian, can, Odessa: precisely in memory I this moment has not kept... Nevertheless, I have entered in certain, shameful, almost servile solidarity with the grandmother, because here, as just-right-now-in-that-one-second reaction on her word, has realised itself worth on one plane with her and on time (what to hide) has become proud. The truth, she so has told it, that it was possible to understand and to continue so: " there to you and place! " But it would be already by obvious insult, (therefore " would you calm your language, grandmother, & shut up finally! ")
Nevertheless I have decided to co-ordinate my own site in representations grandma and, properly modelled a vote and tracing intonation figure of the speech, began to extort from the grandmother, who exactly in these houses lives, that will be with them in the future and т. д. And she percolated to me, that there former "cooks" till now live, "watchmen" and yard-keepers, almost all chronic-alcoholics, turned in the poor tramps, and in general there already live dross of a society. Me, as I have understood, she with last did not identify, probably, gradually, on a course of the words, more & more, step by step opening the former unapproachable positions, as proportionally raised for itself mine voluble status: (" it is not vain you here have invited, any were on that of the basis! ") Yes! It is real shame, but the desire, that " have accepted for ", probably, is ineradicable will and live in the people, and to serve powerful stimulus both means for self-perfection and brave, persistent work above itself! Soon all that it strongly has tired me, and I (as a mark of rescue) casually have transferred a sight to a huge window of a room. The incomparable show of frozen patterns on glass here has pushed me easy to interrupt secular conversation sincerely admired exclaim: " You look, what miracle! " The Grandmother has not taken offence at all: she has caught the truth of involuntary delight in my vote, and too has looked in a window. " Yes, it is valid a miracle. This message. The message whence from the outside. We can adequately never read it... " I at once was frightened, because the grandmother inevitably and ruthlessly became drive to favourite (I knew it) theme of Astral and transition in this. And though again here to me a case to the aid has come, but, I swear, it would not be better than it at all. Wishing naive to leave from a dangerous theme and to recover by unexpected turn conversation, I have asked the grandmother, is slightly impolite stop short having interrupted her: " But what do you think, they, can with such force feel these, who in wooden houses, charm of winter patterns on glass?! " And here I have received: the grandmother, gloomy having stared somewhere to me in a nose, slowly has made: " NO. They feeling cold. Only cold. And if not it is cold, they want in any time to eat. And when they in heat and already also are do not need a food, they want to f... " And she has expressed in the sense that they, roughly and literally speaking, want in every time to make love (on her own words, " give them will and opportunity "). But all inexpressible horror of a this situation was, that she has not made rough &  routine "make love"; she, having kept a formal, grammatical attribute of this infinitive, has preferred to be expressed in most dirty, intolerably and obscenely obscene kind. And I already in second time for this evening have seen shine bloody wolf lights in December darkness. I for fear froze up to bones: In a dark room I - alone with the grandmother, which, being from hereditary nobility, has taken in head neither from that nor from this to proceed on not normative lexicon and in an emphasis considers, examines me. It seemed, the house is overturned and rises by a roof downwards. What I needed to do? I vaguely have cleared the throat and, feeling last coward, has lowered, omitted in the bottom right corner of an eye, with horror understanding, that I give out by the flaring cheeks myself that is, that I literally have understood also words the grandmother, and that she has understood, that I correctly have understood her.
But also on it mine were not terminated suffering. In December dregs НОЧЕР I suddenly in fear have thought, that the old woman lifts a hand, hitherto hanging as lash, and pulls it in the direction of my face. Here I have not sustained and squeal, as woman, has cried out: " of a Gene! ", calling the friend to the aid. Probably, I am very strong squeal out, as here, strongly having struck a door about a book case, on a threshold all wet my comrade, and behind his back was heard saving explosions of an absolutely obscene, free laughter was drew. " In what business? " " Of a Gene! It is necessary... Excuse, please, (grandmother) I so a lot of time has taken away in you on nonsense... "
On kitchen of a Gene has forced me to have a drink a wine-glass of vodka (though at me a ulcer), then we have smoked(lit), and I, realizing all nonsense of sharp desires of any adventures and adventures, have set a thoughtful question: " Whence takes sexual unruly in the people, prostitution in family pairs - and not because of money, and because of lust? " On it the friend mine, having deeply tightened by American foul cigarette, has exhaled together with a smoke the answer tremendous on capacity and irrefutable: " ****ство, mon cher amie, takes from loneliness. Yes, extreme loneliness and cold neglected attitude ". What I have answered: " It is very severe and unfairly. The too heavy answer ". And, not having sustained, has given to break on will to feelings after all these shock episodes, namely: has begun to cry and is drunk has dropped hot forehead on a cool elbow of the friend laying on a table. The comrade has kissed me in a nape.

  5

On this interesting situation  the poetic girl-hostess of Bacchanalia, former noble assembly, takes unawares. All in sweat, red and is heavy breathing, she, demonstrative and with an irritation ignoring me, hasty has started talking with my friend: " of a Gene, Gene, look, I something do not understand... " And suddenly very much low, absolutely low has bent to a floor so, that has rested against it by top her head and hands. As I have understood, she tried to stand on a head, but nothing is turned out: she twirled in air highly released by back, the evening dress ruthlessly fell downwards to her so to tell, waist, thus completely obscenely exposing thick pale - white hips, as she also tried every time rise of a leg upwards. At me just dismissed, and recently up to impossibility hardly twirled unit from alarms and shock situations was instantly extended with terrible force in a staunch steel string, and I from inexpressible horror (so sit –so run after) have flied from the chair and was drove in a corner behind a bowl.
The comrade mine quietly has reacted to my fear: " Well that! It... " Here it he has given out any whether Japanese, whether the Indian term, which served a cultural equivalent something too much more complex... Surprisingly, but this term here is associative has contacted to a dirty obscene word made by the strict grandmother of poetic girl, though anything indecent for Russian hearing style in it was not - probably, uniting there was itself consequential by horror an effect. And obviously heard roar of fall of chairs and bodies distributed from a room, girl-poetess whence has come running, gave to understand, that all there taking place also were studied with hot living interest to development it " of a cultural equivalent ".
" The Mad house ", - had time(was in time) to think I, and suddenly hanged feeling of payment, how?, for what?, what exactly? became signal to me, that it now and is immediately getting... And has taken place: was distributed strongest impact on windows, into smithereens there, in a room, the glass has scattered, someone is shrill shout, someone is exited and loudly has commented: " Look, felt boot!! Someone felt boot in us has started! " Here have interrupted: " Candles, candle remove! Now will light up!! " In a room have turned up electrical light. Three of us, have run in a room, and I have seen, that all taking place, with the red persons, wet, (probably, actually tried collectively to rise on a head) absurdly trampled in panic confusion and hysterics around of familiar to me covered by a leather felt boot. Brutally cold air beat with terrible force in a room so, that the curtains scattered and up to a ceiling rose. Someone hasty ran, carrying away candles from a room, someone tried cowardly to look out in a window, pulling a neck, as if expecting, that now to him in a head can catch something similar. All of us felt as in the besieged fortress, unfortunate slaves and unfortunate hostages of a boorish situation.
" What here such? " - grandmother majestically has appeared in doors. To her, choking with excitement and confusion, began to explain that there was a girl-poetess-granddaughter. The grandmother turn into beast of prey on eyes, just right now…  " Now obscene talking will begin ", - is inappropriate, being frightened and were ashamed her and simultaneously, I thought by the not thin nonsense. But she gave a command: " Now go, call the militia, while they there have not run up! " - also has disappeared. All the people, after her of words at once as if were released and is exited start talking, start intend to put on and in the street "kick the asses " invisible band... " Now we by them shall arrange! " - warlike was carried already in a corridor. And the excited vote of the girl stopped outright furious tramp and push in exit. I suddenly have imagined, as the picture of the seized grandfather in an environment crowd of my "aesthetic" friends can look. Up to impossibility opposite and terrible a picture. The intuition prompted, that they for anything will not forgive him own panic fear and one payments - death will demand only. Most awful - they could it to themselves allow in this situation: who will search by all for the forgotten and poor grandfather?
I have looked out in a window and was struck - dirty, dressed in trash crowd of the old men as the ants got each other on backs and climb on second, third floor ours elite at home. Therefore I was threw in a corridor and loudly has declared all: " You waste your time to hurry up, it is more them there! Well you on fig, I remain... And so - go, that head have broken. They in general storm the house ". 
The battle, dashing mood is sharp faded. All the people stopped silent, slowly climb from a corridor in a room... Soon have closed up a window by a pillow, have veiled it is impenetrable by a black curtain…. And for special safety have switched off light and make fire of a candles. Began together to wait militia. Strange, but at this moment I have realised, that my friend all this time of group fussiness, bustle  and any findings-out of the attitudes  -  was absent. " And where it he? " - I here have set off  him to search.
Of rooms there were five, not including all other subsidiary "convenience". Light was switched off everywhere, all silently crept on an apartment with candles... And not find of the friend, I have remained one in any black, deaf, indistinct room and began to look in a window. The sound insulation of old houses was that is necessary: former mutter talking be not became audible at all, and in dead silence, in a condition absolute, it is better to tell, deafness and mute, motionless, I suddenly have understood, that in me the great secret storms concentrated in the terrible sum. And at all secret - something tremendous and awful, amazing by scope and complexity. Whether " It is necessary to resist then? " - I thought, but about myself I precisely knew, that without my personal initiative nothing happen. Something free - wolf always in me wake up, when collide with me something huge also is intolerable heavy. " We shall look, as further events " -  will develop, - I was internally ready to uncertainty.

               

      6

And between that I just more began to understand, on what I look in a window. It was any poor square with benches under trees which are hardly were seen from under snow. The muddy heavy blue leaned on everything in this square: on black trunks and boughs of trees and branch of bushes, on white snowdrifts of snow. Only " the moon as a pale stain " gave it everything how to distinguish, hardly, probably, look out through the sky of night December similar to the terrible and painful story with the disturbing ending it. " Yes, under a December night roof also there can be such horrible, unnatural fuss, " - I thought. But, strangely enough, I, recollecting the dreams, felt, that wishing I well to me slightly on corridors to pass, then to run up, and then to make a start and - I fly at first very close to a floor, in parallel to it, and then  it is more typing height. December night firmament call me to itself, forcing me almost to choke in the closed space. Is sad, but also at this firmament always in dream there was a roof, and I, am blunt rest on the found out corner by a head, languidly lost sensation of flight... I gloomy thought of the property, pity and love, without any feelings looking, how on benches in square has come, by black silhouettes, longhairing pair in fur coats and has smoked: lights of cigarettes brightly flashed at pull in a muddy twilight. " The Ladies, probably, have decided make a smoke break ", - I have understood, slightly weakening a mental pressure, mechanically allocating  from a window of an eye...
" Yes I know, of what you now think ", - is direct under my ear the vote of the friend was distributed. " Of a Gene! " - again as woman I scream , having felt, that from suddenness was slightly described in knickers, and for horror has put an accent in his name on the second syllable: "gene" a ".
This great horror instantly has passed in a great rage. " Would you not frighten me, viper and rascal !! " On what my friend with pleasure and quietly has roared. But my indignation has moved down at instant memoirs on mine personal acts with "frightenments" of the friend.
" You could not at once give about yourselves to know, when I have gone?! That you have hidden here? "
When I hardly have calmed down, and the friend finished to laugh-as-he-pleased , I has asked him, about what it I, actually, thought, standing in a classical pose at a window. He has answered, that the open systems as against closed always are mysterious and will be always multiple-valued. " Dullness and sufficiency will never bring pleasure. And in general, most interesting, that is in life, it work with filling of volumes, alignment them, devastation and other businesses ". About what, it appears, I thought. I have answered, that it too the wide remark and it can approach to any case or situation.
The friend on it has noticed, that to me, actually, never and it was not possible to hide behind the too open appearance specifa of the experiences: " It actually is good, on a background of the monsters is especial, but real shit in you is yours always-betrayed attitude. Sometimes it seems, that at you conscience absolutely disappears. As if all environmental - is simple shit, and you do not need in anybody ", - such conclusion was made by(with) the comrade, than has cast me in anger  irritation: " Yes why I should be pleased, when to me climb up on a head!? Itself I shall decide, whom to invite in itself and in whom to me to be! And it is pleasant to you, when you solicit, whether what? "
The friend: " If they solicit, means, be pleased: you  are necessary. For a while!! Look, will stay, as gronk in snow ".
I: " There will be I never gronk, I understand secrets of the world and with any results. And about that, me will remember at one time there then, at me one answer - this world is pleasant to me. And it sometimes admires me. And it always comes to an end too by results. Concrete!! "
The friend: " Well you also draws there, write itself there - in a table, in armpit, in ass... You will be divided? "
I: " Its already then. At first make that now can. And you what have made? Hard drinking, mad-trash, children? "
The friend: " I make it always for others, and I am pleased with one - they on this time are pleased. On this time they will leave from them of the explained once and for all world, and let I in result shall stay joker-onanist, they will leave on something another. I do not speak, that they because of me will vary, but the punching will be seen by(with) they will see precisely! You saw today, that I have forced this ass in glasses to rise on a head! That what is the fuck, yes?! "
And he, pleased, again has roared, and I have reconciled, coldly shamed. Left so, that the friend really has shown, as far as the unselfishness can be disinterested. Therefore I a bit later having was going with forces and cross myself and told: " of a Gene, I hundred times tried before you to apologise, then I actually understood, that there was a fool. Now excuse ".
" М- hм, " - the friend has reacted, having presented so ironic "аhа". " With what I just as not thin and stupid ", - with disappointment have thought I about myself, though in annals has left an idea, that all is that – for to deceive me.
" I have gone verses to listen, if she is former yet ", - the comrade has declared suddenly.
" Hardly... " - I vaguely has told, and then has decide to inform: " Listen, all of them today to any... The grandmother this... I thought, she will kill me ".
The friend: " She simply wanted you slightly press and squeeze, and, may be, and screw you in herself ".
I: " I hate!! Nasty what! Me now will pull out! Be silent! "
The friend: " And what you wanted? At noble lady climax, and they also were ready to be thrown on yard-keepers, stablemen, gardeners, cooks... "
I: " I am not обсЛЮживающий the personnel to her, let goes in these wooden houses to the personnel ".
The friend: " I am sure, she therefrom and does not get out. All, likely, wear out: and personnel, and homeless, and gangsters... I at once have guessed, when you as a fuse have taken off from her. "
I: "  What is the shit. That for nasty thing - to connect  Astral and screw out! "
The friend: " In general nothing understand. Read Philosophy of Life Ницше, and  it is much better - Розанов, and it is too much better - Шмаков... Similar, you, though and at one time there also studied in univer, is  all equal неуд eternal ".
I: " It you were eternal неуд. And, by the way, неуд is an open system unsatisfied - be proud ".
The friend: " We are proud together. But неуд is, excuse, not unsatisfied, but unsatisfactory, more shortly, unsuccessful, and the losers - it are better ".
I: " the Losers or unsatisfied eternally … What difference! We with you the angels, without flesh and white, trace shall not leave on this ground. Have departed, mouse flying? "

7

And we have departed. To assembly. All sat stopped(become silent), and was felt, that it is pleasant very much to them own getting frightened. They sat, as my friend at one time, that is, on Turkey style, and in a circle, before everyone there was on saucer with a candle, and at the centre of this circle again there was a girl-poetess  and whisper, with a pressure(voltage) and ready to break an any minute by tears, with constrained sobbing read in English:
Хеар зэ лауд элэерэм бэллз!
Брэйзн бэллз!
Уад энд тэйл оф тэрра зэй тэбьюлэнси тэллс!
Ин зэ статлэд иэр ов найт...
Хау зэй скримаут зэй ЯФРАЙД!! - э

At this moment the girl, and not having constrained itself, whether has choked, whether sob for excitement and has interrupted the recitation. And at the same moment someone (most likely, unintentionally) on saucer by something metal has issued this most "бэллз", and the girl, terribly having screamed, has pressed thin fingers to the lips, as though has caused by the verses what she was now frightened. Everything is really reminded spiritual  session or any old Polish film, that, anyway, me has not stopped come out with insight me by a guess in translation with English on Russian; I, appear, loudly enough has addressed to the friend: "This" тэбьюлэнси " – турбуленция (turbulence – turbulention), whether what? " It was not entered at all in the general(common) sacral context which has hanged above a society(community) devoted, and my friend with known easy contempt has answered: " Yes, вертулетка. "
The girl with loathing, in half-eyes has looked in my party, and, hardly having had time(was in time) to whisper: " My God, real felt boot, it is continuous marasm any.. ", as has taken place perfectly not expected and absurd. Into a window with a terrible roar ran now precisely outstanding, as all burned, felt boot, already second.
The flaring log having carried into smithereens second window, it with cynically wooden knock crash down in the centre of a circle, where second back stood the girl. She instantly has taken off from a room, as at all non-noble having pressed in shoulders a head and having bent in three deaths. All (and I including) were in  a strongest shock and if more precisely to transfer, in a condition of great misfortune. Only one my comrade died from laughter, making comments extraordinary fast flight poetess almost with tears: " How bright as she!..  So pity -  not hit in her hump by this felt boot!.. " Then I could not stop hysterically loud  any more, in a whole throat, laughter. And in the meantime all any time were carried on a room and then, having oriented, have rushed from it. There was only I, bent from laughter, and my friend blocking any cloth rug fire. Then we have heard answer-back laughter in the street: " With coming Happy New Year you, bitches! " - was distributed therefrom. And Gene, cry out, as I have understood, from delight, was threw to the tape recorder and, feverishly having rummaged in pockets, has inserted in his interior any cartridge. Then, after that he sat  on squat to the tape recorder, has adjusted, that in one second also it became clear, it on complete loudness, and from loud speakers with wild force the enraged deafening black metal has taken off.
" Always I carry at myself " Testament " on any case” - loudly to me in my ear the friend has explained.
On a threshold there was a girl-poet both bad for horror and rage by a vote has cried: " Switch off, switch off immediately!! You absolutely idiot, whether what?!! " The comrade hands up highly and rapaciously hands and, for a best persuasiveness having bent in hooks fingers, as claws, start to growl like a bear also has pretend, that rushes behind the girl. She shot screamed and disappeared, and we now on a pair were bent from laughter under mad music.
Soon the exhaustion has devastated us to the bottom, and the friend has told: “Ok,  it will suffice madhouse, it is time to fasten ". Then he has switched off the tape recorder, and I at once have felt the ice cold in a room is impossible. We as it is possible more quickly and more qualitatively for steel to close up the broken window. The dirty was wild: glass crunched, water, crushed in stearin crumbs of a candle, broken saucers, desperately smoking and stinking the rest of felt boot, which  under itself the large floor carpet... " I am surprised, as the curtains have not lit up ", - I have told to the friend. " Not curtains, but portieres, you be not overlooked! And " curtains " can thrust to yourself in... " I here have seen myself from the party with "curtains", and at me an attack of a nervous laughter again has repeated. The friend, flattered by  that have estimated his "wit", too has roared. Then again we have returned to more less quiet condition, and I have asked: " How do you think, us  it is long so will be fired? " What my comrade has answered: " Light should be switched off. I am just looking for a candle. Now I   lighter it... " When the candle has lit up, we have switched off light and send to search for kitchen.
Finding  it, we were arranged behind a small little table, and the friend, having lowered a shoulder, having thundered somewhere near to a floor by a bottle of vodka, has lifted it on a surface and has poured in two glasses. " There will be no I drink it, at me a stomach ". " Come on, not die you, here all a quarter of a glass ".
Then I began to be divided by reasons: " At me all time such sensation, that is all  because of me. And you aggravate this ".
The friend: " You are guilty. Draw to itself obstacles, any rocks unapproachable... There is here nothing, calm down. And when you will calm down, then nobody will beat by felt boots of a glass ".
Я: " So you actually think, what I by all am guilty it? "
The friend: " The Connection is presence. I did not show to you , as you have told, турбулентная вертулетка . Well so works, very evidently, is indicative. I have left it in exit, it is necessary there to make the way... "


     8

" Now we by all of them shall draw... Run faster former”, - the comrade has promised to me in exit, rummaging in pockets of the fur coat.
I: " Where and is faster... And so do not know where to get to, such nightmare... "
The friend: " Where - where... The hen. Itself shouted: " let him in -  let me in! " Of Time the beginnings, are not present sense to stop ".
I have stiffened struck: " Listen, I ' it did not speak you this. Whence you have taken it? " The Candle in hands of my friend from below shined his face, and this devil illumination intolerably frightened. Some seconds in silence the comrade looked at me, then carelessly has told: " Come on. I spoke, that at you everything is on a surface - anything about itself, even fig in a pocket to hold be not able. Well also did not speak - and itself remember, precisely, what did not speak? "
I already began to doubt of all (" it seems, has told "), even in itself, casually having thrown a sight on a round mirror in hall. From it would be looked like I, but this "I" per any second could independently itself of the story, if I will relax behind it the vigilant control even on an instant. " Well, what the shit -  to watch for own reflection... It Let makes anything, that wants ", -  I have decided  cowardice. And from this moment any were broke not clear - last constraining hooks, that is all has gone... Reflected "I", artfully having flashed eyes, running in darkness, for pig-iron rim of a mirror, having left one black failure... But it is simple the friend mine so has unwrapped a candle, that the illumination began to go from other place.
At last my comrade has pulled out from a pocket of a fur coat his little thing. It was the long oblong subject which is finding room into a hand. It reminded something average between a cellular telephone and pager, but with one difference, or distinctive feature: at it wide enough both long small screen, and friend mine held it(him) not how usually hold cellular - along a palm, and across. Then friend has pressed mine any button under this subject, and the screen was suddenly brightly lighted. On it have run, as if waved by a wind is dazzling white small nets of tulle... Suddenly hearing from dynamics fast and cheerful run of strings of harp -  is not known where built - in. Then this hasty flicking has stopped, and the winter wood per dazzling winter day - any blue of the sky, continuous yellow, citric and white light became very precisely seen. All branches of a bush and trees were dressed and are protected by snow and prickly ice thorns. In one second any crowd of the people in long white fluttering attires was designated behind trees. Faster everything, they danced on winter field. Again have run of tulle, have departed sparkling snow-flakes, and soon dancing have disappeared, and on the screen began to appear other vision - picture: chess figures under a tree lengthened and straight worth graceful group at the  roots, of worth by graceful group, in a snowdrift. All of them white - black figures I have not distinguished. Then on a bottom small screen the running line from pale - green of the letters similar on thick summer caterpillars  is languid climb: " Dances of a solar chess in a winter wood ".
" It is my almost made program, - the friend has explained. - the Font only is impossible ".
" It is surprising. The surprising device ", - only also  I could be told by that.
" To you something like a unscrewing opener. Was so to tell, the closed black box - becomes white. Does not want, and becomes ".
" So it you make in the company always with it, with this opener? " - suddenly having thought, I have become angry.
" Well, not always, and that through a pocket. But also is not necessary, and that in general to me, on idea, greater force all gone in mad. And with these friends I even also did not try, they and so an occasion idiotic have found to be going - were ready jumping on a wall. You, by the way, about drugs do not overlook... "
It became very interesting, and I have offered: " And give in open on any, we allow, we shall guide the book! What, interestingly, it will turn out? "
" Oh, yes… it’s very much, by the way, ridiculously, yourself will see! And in general, it anywhere can be attached, no matter - though on a picture,  though on the grandmother yours, though on a window!!! Look itself ", - and he has guided his the device on a brightening frozen window on kitchen.
From  froze the patterns were represented by rocky breakage and mountain, and suddenly because of as if fixed turn has gone away black rider on same black horse and sadly became ramble on the most ice crest of a rock. And I am disturbed and enthusiastically has exclaimed: " I saw him today in evening, it is honour! At the end of the prospectus, only he was huge! " " Whom it you saw? Him, whether what? " - giggling, the comrade has asked me and suddenly unexpectedly has shouted to a window: " Hey, you! " The Image, to my boundless surprise, has reacted here: rider has stopped, has lifted a head and has turned it in our party.
" It you today on city went? " - being held apart from the laughter, as loudly were asked my friend.
And rider (and it was visible precisely) has remained obviously dissatisfied tone, with what him have asked.
" How he can hear? He you see is hardly seen. Most likely, he has not understood, THAT have told, he has understood, HOW have told ".
And suddenly rider resolutely has pushed his steed and quickly enough has gone to us. I have felt very strong not clear frozen a wind - and with snow-flakes! - and pattern on glass the representing slope of a mountain suddenly began to be unwrapped in our party. And soon black walls of hall and kitchen began to be dissolved in approaching muddy and light  snow-sheet. The wind now emphasised, that we with the friend make an integral uniform picture with aggressive rider. He inevitably firmly and quickly skipped to us, inexorable  being increased in the sizes. His predatory and mischievous desire of punishment us already saw, as he is already stronger pushing his steed, as if were afraid, that we can escape at last moment, for example to dive into a snowdrift, from which we almost protrude.
" Of a Gene, Gene, finish, that is all, will suffice ", - I have cried, and he has asked again me: " What, has ceased to want to communicate? "
" Yes, certainly, do not see, whether what?! "
Here I have understood, that I stand, hardly having sat down, in a warm black apartment and I look in the party of a muddy window on kitchen. I had not enough words, but then in mean while has decided as verbally to react: " Well, what nightmare. Well you, in general, done … Are interesting, what would take place, if he had time? We would wake up, yes? " - I have asked of the comrade, mechanically looking downwards, finding and not finding a snowdrift.
" Yes anything. Buried both of us is direct on a place. Would remain on frozen glass as a fine detail, and then at heat have thaw! "
" It is original. But, generally, very strong joke, and same very expensive".







9

( December 26 2002 is a miracle!)               


" We shall go we shall look at better books, " - the friend has offered. And we cautiously send on is old-fashioned to a long corridor. The friend again has included the solar chess for a raising of mood, and suddenly because of a corner of any room to us the girl - poet has run out . We slightly dash aside from her in unexpectedness. And she, crying, whisper with pray in voice : " of a Gene, please, do not leave now! That is so awful!.. All have run up, nobody to find, one grandmother sits at itself, as if for something waits, and does not speak with me, as if I am guilty in all!.. Even Эдик with Вампир somewhere have disappeared ". (To tell the truth, I have not disassembled a name last, whom knew very bad. Can be, him called Ампир or Эмир. I do not remember).
  And the comrade ironically has asked her: " And you in bathroom did not look? Can, they there are engaged in something? "
" How you with the comrade on kitchen, whether what?! - instantly turning in bitch, girl aggressively has rushed in attack. - do not touch them, at all dare to touch them, it is the sacred people! "
Gene shrug his shoulders with the large indifference and in the perfect uncertainty, that " I also do not know them in general ". But from the girl we were successfully released for a long time, in any case. Not finding a library room, we came into a room at random and have found out a case, where there were some books together with utensils.
" Well what there? " - the friend has asked, when I endeavoured to read the names of the books.
" Anything especial. Verses of Твардовский, Александр Трифонович, novel by Фёдор Панфёров, thick, " Бруски ". It socialist realism, not interesting … IT can be interestingly: Лев Толстой, the fourth volume " Wars and world ", give him! "
" Well is not present! - the friend has roared. - But if you want all night to run on an apartment, rescuing, literally, your ass, then certainly. There such hot, with predilection, power, potential, accumulated, that all parameters over any scale … Is possible in space on it to fly and to return. The device will not sustain. And about socialist realism is vainly, it is very ridiculous. Give it this Панфёров, put him in the centre on a table. Just look! "
And I, hasty having put in the centre of a round table the book vertically, jump out from it. A Gene has directed the cellular telephone on the book. For one second have appeared the letters and has appeared the text on little screen.
And again per the same second the screen became black, and the book has issued any "tr-r-r" and, having pulled, as the alive essence, as if swelling, as if at the book has jumped up pressure. And then with silent distinct rustle from pages of the book began to be thrown out on a table any cords, splinters of clay pots, lumps of ground, nut … Some time heap of dust formed in a pyramid, so stood, then began to brighten, dead-pale to shine and beginning to form of itself something. Soon, as in cartoons from plasticines, the small head, senile has turned out, with a rare grey-haired beard and is intense by squeeze eyes. Then head  has decided to open it and muddy from dream little white eyes began me to consider. And suddenly completely unexpectedly furiously has spat in my party (I has pulled from it) and muttered clearly: " Off you, My God, will dream shit such … " And after that here became promptly thaw. The friend laughed: on a table remained trace from our experiment.
" Well what, shit, has understood? – laugher  the friend. - And all song - thirteen seconds ".
" Is not present, has not understood. I do not understand a principle of action of your unit, and about purpose it in general I am silent ".
" Long to explain. Ok, give something really such, interesting … I there see Гоголь ".
" Is not present, is not present, Гоголь it is not necessary, it is not necessary Гоголь! " - I have begun to bustle, all here having become covered by sweat.
The friend: - Well then I put on a table mine Testament, and we shall look, that will be. The suitable format - as is spoken, than less flea…
I: - Is not present, ok, give Гоголь. Only itself after that is all arrange.
The friend: -Come on, don’t be  afraid, Николай Васильевич knew about a distance, it to you not contact Лев Николаевич.
I: - Listen, and if Достоевский to put?
The friend: - Itself will be there, and for Мышкин night pots will take out - for ever. It in general of type an equivalent exchange, one for one. Will tighten forever, as in a black hole.
I in the large indecision have taken blue dark book of Гоголь, some time twirled in hands in uncertainty and in doubts, but then just the same has exposed it as well as earlier vertically on a table, having opened it for stability.
The friend again has directed the device on the book. To my surprise, this time has played music is sad and solemnly. As I have understood, it celesta was given out by something heavy and legendary. The text on the screen again has run, inflating the letters, and then book loudly has squeaked, and from pages has escaped of peak, tiny, with a colour tag at the  tip, any black blot flying out, clapping by wings and here has disappeared. Then began to jump out with fractional tramp any green men, faded and terribly lean, as prisoners of concentrated camps, straightening on the move same green and leather, as if settle and faded wings. Is noisy shaking them, have flied up above the book and have evaporated in darkness. But I heard rustle of wings already somewhere at the  ceiling. And it spoke that they and did not think dematerialised. Then from pages of the book it has hearing ringing smallest silver coins, which  began to be strewed on a table in heaps. Inside book suddenly shining by fiery flares, has escaped burned wooden bough, entangled smoking by cords, was distributed short both deafening screaming and long howl - bough here was tightened with the cords back. The pool whether blood, whether fault - and on all table has spread. Suddenly on this heap of coins has fallen curtailed by rings viper. Loudly having hissed, it was unwrapped from the rings and, gloomy sparkling green lights - by emeralds of an eye, start to climb again in pages of the book. Then climb whether fog, whether the smoke - but very quickly has thaw … Soon both silver, and the pool - is not known that - have disappeared, and the book suddenly became silently shake, as if trembled by a wind, and suddenly completely unexpectedly spitefully and densely has slammed and also with rough impact for ever has fallen on a table.
" With it Гоголь most interesting, - was told by my friend, and, having kept silent, specially slowly and solemnly has continued: - All this winged company has not disappeared anywhere, it here somewhere turn, on all apartment … "
" What for it was necessary them in general to let out? And if they on this grandmother will be thrown?! The heart attack will be! " - I have become angry.
" You at all do not know her. With her just nothing happen, but with psycho by this, Carlotta -girl … "
He also had not time to finish, as was distributed screaming from any, probably, room: " Oh, hair, the hair let off! That it, what?! What this such?! "
" Well, already have reached up to her, even to speak had not time. Have run to rescue this stupid ".
We have run on squeak the maiden. In a corridor we have oriented quickly, and, to mine real surprise, was found out, that our girl sat in that room, where by felt boots persistently beat glasses.
" What for she there? The dog cold, dirty, darkness, awful stench… That is there bring her, what she there wanted, has forgotten? " - all these unnecessary questions blindly and absurdly tried to co-ordinate to a reality all things abnormal, that was with me this evening. But in stay the maiden in this room something was undoubtedly felt intolerable dark - lust, and it caused painful fear in me.
I expected to see something similar to the bat who has got stuck in long shampoo hair of a poetess and has prepared already to untangle them, on the move estimating - hands or scissors, bites whether or not this creature (I have in a kind generation dark blue book), and what will be after that explanations …
But that we have seen, overkill all our most courageous expectations. Someone, on the part of a street, roughly has seized a hair of the girl, which, probably, carelessly, very close has approached to a window. There was bible black a darkness, and we could seen something it disassemble only at pale light of a candle and hardly flickering remote light of lanterns behind a window, in the street. And when we have understood and have rushed to beat off this hand from the unfortunate girl, with sharp impact a window, huge, vertically extended, has swung open, and penetrated into a window sill  to me already personally familiar old man, whose felt boots by such strange image have appeared beforehand in this apartment. Behind - and I saw it precisely - him pushed set of someone's hands, was carried by a muffled flow obscene, extremely rough invective (that " `cause fat - go mad, bitches!!! ") And the old man, with a roar having rolled over with a window sill on a floor, also, even not think to letting off a hair of the girl, which with weak slaps, squeaking powerlessly, beat him on a hand, has risen, at last, and in an emphasis has stared at me. " Well what? - he suddenly has asked me. - And how to you it? " And then has released the girl and one sharp movement has broken off, as it became visible not only something like a coat - fur coat, not only shirt, but also chest a crate, and stomach, because, as I have seen, from his(its) developed(unwrapped), broken off by him, turned out inside out, belly is fast towards to me climb out pale - grey and pink interiors of this old man. They were alive, were inflated, were increased, promptly moving and pulling, resembling on huge feelers octopus or calmar, trembled, were bent and obviously tried already to reach with the not clear purpose me, and practically have filled by itself in all room, as I already anybody and anything, except for this move meat did not distinguish. But at this moment I with force was seized by one hand by my friend, and another - has directed on this rough the device.
Here, as at video recording with scrolling back, everything quickly began to be involved back. The old man has disappeared, the crowd has disappeared behind a window, and all glass triviality - splinters on a floor - is exact, sharply and precisely have flown in the broken places of a window. With short sob were involved in darkness of a pool of ice water, and curtain, as the final chord, slowly, in weightlessness, is silent from a ceiling were lowered and have closed unemotionally the whole windows with cheerful frozen by patterns on glass.
The girl sat on a floor, having stretched, as the small child, leg in the different parties and tried very cautiously touch up to the head, as if did not trust, that it, in spite of anything, has remained on a former place. Last for not ё, probably, impact was sudden diving on her unfortunate head by ours flying devils. But on it the girl is only weak squeak, and my friend is negligent, one impact, fluff up a hair to the girl, as if having given her slap, has brought down this creature somewhere in darkness.
" Reverse refers to as, - he has explained me, specifying on his device. - By the way, works better, than these direct functional usual commands. On the contrary – there is stronger and more quickly. Why so?.. "
We have helped the girl to rise, and she without feelings has fallen on a breast of my comrade. Then we go on in any room. The friend has laid girl-poetess on a sofa and all has covered by a thick blanket. Having left her already calmed and fallen asleep, we again have set off to be dragged on rooms of an apartment already to search her  friends.

10

And only we, is latent were proud the nobleness and courage, send with a candle in a corridor, as in black hole of the end it with such force have struck by an entrance door, that a flame of a candle, instantly having pulled, disappeared.
" A Lighter give more quickly ", - any suppressed vote comrade whisper to me. I in excitement of the beginnings am confused  rummage on the pockets.

And between that is obvious of steel the steps are audible in the direction of us from this darkness - heavy, stuffled skin on parquet of an apartment. " Well more quickly give, is faster ", - the friend by the broken vote hurried. When I, anyway, have lit fire, on shaking light of a candle in hands of the comrade has guessed, that him as well as me quivering for unexpected fear. The friend sharply has directed a candle to darkness of a corridor - there anybody any more was not, were not and the heavy steps are audible. As if this, someone, during ours nervous dawdle has turned in a unknown room. We, as it seemed, rather long stood with sharing knees simply be unable to move from a place.
The grandmother has broken our shock immovability which has looked out half from, likely, rooms to us, in a corridor, holding in hands the whole candlestick of three candles. She, like a coquette,  has pressed thin finger to lips and has told playfully lowered, multisignificant vote: " To us to not come- don’t disturb… ", and was again involved in a room.
" Well, naturally we shall glance, of time so invite! " - my friend rather loudly has told to which, probably, it was awfully a shame and inconveniently (in front of me) with the tested panic fear in second darkness.
We resolutely send to that room, where there was a grandmother. That I have seen, in next time me absolutely has brought down with sense.
At the centre of a room, anything at all not covered, the familiar old man on any stool, cautiously having clasped for a waist our grandmother sat to me already up to a pain which sat at him knees, but face to face to him. On her were not clearly whence undertaken and is completely inappropriate on her looked dark blue training trousers from elastic with threefold white lampases. She is very cautiously and very gently smoothed a grey-haired and dirty moustache and beard of the old man.
But most improbable was that behind them there was an extensive, simply huge aperture between two narrow vertical windows. All this aperture occupied of the monstrous sizes the face-bas-relief, almost head, swamp-green colour. It is a face - head of an eye had no, or they were closed, but the mouth was precise, is distinct, as the lips moved, opened. And then was distributed a unimaginably heavy vote - echo. From time to time head-face simply turned to a huge capital letter "Д", then came back in the former a little bit changed condition (that crumple ears is longer, the nose that arise up by a snail, was braided short – spout or snout). After the made phrase of this head there was a fast exchange of retorts, which was made by whisper each other by old man and grandmother. Then they became silent, as if waited, that this again will squeeze out from not clear depth the head-face, and is again fast whisper each other, and so endlessly … There was such impression, that someone for someone translated, made comments, interpreted.
Then old man has turned a head to us, and at him the top half of head, up to a nose, here has disappeared, and the familiar fibres from any slime or meat, pink and grey have directed too to me to a ceiling. It is not enough of it: the fingers on hands and legs of the old man as if began to start up any roots, shoots and appendixes. They dig in parquet, instantly entangled by themselves all grandmother and as were involved back …
" It that, hologram, whether what? " - there was I to speak to the comrade, but with only this purpose to become final not idiot in this situation and to make even something human, as it is simple of reason did not suffice as adequately to react to all this picture.
" Well, that is all! Will suffice! Nothing I understand! - I have told, because instead of horror before seen an ordinary irritation, primitive, relaxing clear and completely destroying thereof dark fear, hitherto overflowing me with a head suddenly has come. - What for the mad house?! "


11

I resolutely have rushed in a black corridor without any candle to search for kitchen. Here е ё has found, has thrown off from a chair any leather screaming creature and sit down behind a table. In some seconds behind me on kitchen the comrade with a candle in a hand has gone. Again having lowered a hand under a little table, he has exposed on its surface two glasses and vodka, then has thrown on a table of a cigarette and match.
" Yes, this business is necessary to break smoking, it is simple so not clear ".
" Explain to me, - I have told, being tightened cigar by a calming smoke. - This women, what on benches, which were smoked in square, unless by they not especially real? On them fur-coats, and they to spit wanted, that from the return party the house is stormed by any beggars and throw in windows felt boots, and then plus besides start up their guts on an apartment as snakes ". (And, by the way, I have not thought at all, that the friend could not see, WHAT EXACTLY I could see in any window: I any more did not know what to speak and what to do(make).)
The friend: - At what here fur-coats any women, which you there have made out?
Я: Is for truly of persuasiveness to prove … And you - all the time - this rider, Парфёнов, Гоголь, any device …
The friend: - Well nothing understand! In general has ceased to think. Precisely: you cannot drink, under any by a kind. You will grow stupid are direct on eyes. You would look, that with other friends has become! You think, they actually were washed off? Here all of them, all up to one! And you could not note for yourselves such simple fact at all, that except for this girl and her lust grany …
At this moment was distributed exulting rattle howl, and with awful by a roar the whole case with glass contents has fallen somewhere in a room. The comrade roared also has continued:
- … Except for this grandmother than nobody comes across to us more on eyes?
I have answered: " First, in an apartment there is no light and very darkly. I it too certainly do not understand, what for all these “see-sow”. Secondly, explain to me a simple thing: why you know it everything? Can, you are simply estimated? Or you medium, or the devil- the teacher- the temper? You can clearly tell about yourselves and honourly?! "
The friend: - you so speak, as though we first time were now saw and have got acquainted. And there was it for a long time, when I that past time under New-Years tree laid in corridor, in winter session. In our univer, do you remember?
I: - You to me brains do not powder. Speak, whence you know everything! Or you are simple play a fool, that what  you beforehand knows everything?!
Suddenly comrade roughly has pulled me a hand and has told: " So, is fast with legs get on a table or on a chair, here this nasty creeps ". Also began to get quickly on the chair, rattling below by bottles from under vodka. I here obediently have got on a chair, though the balance in darkness was very heavy for keeping, is especial after vodka. And in darkness in the bottom of anything it was impossible to make out, but is soon absolutely clear hearing any damp rustle. Something was dragged, crept on parquet, has dropped a bottle, something one, has rummaged around, polish, slightly beat by itself on legs of a table and chairs, massive, mucous and volumetric, and again climb out in a corridor.
" What this such, and? " - there was I to extort from the friend. It this time has become angry and has told me roughly: " Well, it is not enough to it, that you here do not understand? "
I: - Of that it is not enough?
The friend: - Yes well you out, fool. You did not hear, how the old woman on all apartment screaming?
I: - Also what is farther?
The friend: - Come on, will suffice, with you by fool will be done. I shall not explain you obvious things. You understand can not at all, that December, that the End of year! The end, end, you though understand it whether or not?!
I: - You have driving me!! At what here End of year, at what December, also what is not enough to it - whom?!
The friend – it -him - whom! Yours - mine does not understand! Anything any more do not understand! Rider, of means, has made out, the head of this old man, Никитa Гурьянов Парфёнова, has disassembled, and can not think!
I was weary lowered on a floor, hold by a hand about a refrigerator, and sit on a chair, on which before stood. Then again has smoked and has told: " Yes, probably, Gene, it goes any leap-frog of words with direct and portable meaning of words. It here such theory of metaphors was played … I always knew, that the word is in itself very mysterious and is very mighty, but did not think…  That also perverted will be represented ".
The friend, also already sitting on a chair, gracefully twisting a cigarette in a brush of a hand, contemptuously screw up an eye: " Shit, what the trifle. You as if on tops iceberg jumping ".
" Me will suffice to humiliate, - I have interrupted him. – It can be, I  have no any deep penetration, but I trust to the sensations yet and I am not schizoid. And here any delirium creeps behind delirium, any foolish hallucinations, and that is all can not stop in any way! "
The comrade confidently has intercepted my last word: " Both will not stop! You also will not be terminated so long as in a condition of a white box itself not interpret in all ".
I have kept silent, insight by a vague guess, and then is direct him has asked: " It is your work? It you with the device with me have done, yes? "
The friend has waved away from me: "Well and at what here it! By such device декабристов from Сенатской  will not pull out, while all will not hang. Well, would you want, yourself, to look, where and how now others? "
And he has dragged me to show the amicable former company of the aesthetes - in a bathroom.


12

" You spoke, that it I slight you . Well, it becoming itself  - if you want  a such word ".
The comrade has illuminated by a candle black space of the bathroom. A silent scratch there was distributed, and I have seen, how two human figures - light brown, absolutely indiscernible in dim light (that the face, that a sweater, that a jacket) - slowly, as if in waltz, stand against each other and shake as drunk. They as though fusion in a single unit.
And when the flame of a candle has designated them on a background of darkness by a bath of a room, the cold of loathing more precisely through me: they as if consist, these two figures, from chewing piece of a paper and cardboard. And this weight, their component, for a long time has dried up and now only creaked from their hardly appreciable rocking’s, as slightly creak by barks two trees in a wood, at will of destiny evolved closely to each other.
And when light from a candle has seemed to them importunate, persuasive, these two figures have turned in our party simultaneously heads. I prepared to see something terrible, that I have seen, we admit in a old woman room … But the faces have seemed to me them for some reason ordinary, not frightening, not by any terrible paper-ugly masks. Especially, strong emotions they at all did not express, only tried, as drunk to move with disobedient lips, as if tried something to utter. But with an articulation at them nothing it turned out. " Bast do not knit ", - was for some reason recollected to me.
And here from above, whence from a ceiling, began to be lowered any light hoarfrost, promptly organising wadded darkness in sparkling set many little crystals, and as sharp stalactite of a beginning as if by a knife by itself to separate these two figures from each other. Weight, their component, did not creak any more, and scream - me the frost strip on a skin from this intolerably unpleasant sound is direct. Soon one of figures, is sharp subsiding, has appeared on his knee, in darkness hearing fall any of a powerful piece, and other figure, mechanically stupidly & bluntly has pulled in the opposite party, weak-will  poke by a hand in our party.
" Of a Gene, I should urgently remain to one, excuse ", - I have told and was directed on a corridor to search for any room. I have gone to one and has understood, that this that first, book room, where I talked to the grandmother. At this moment I began to understand, that the loneliness is necessary for me, because suddenly has felt, that right now very close to me the UNDERSTANDING has approached, both absurdity and nightmare, me observable, through an instant suddenly correctly having finished, straight are organised in a true harmonious consisting of businesses. I stood at a book case and has seen, that the reception of a door in a corridor was lighted by candles. " I asked to leave me in rest ", - I quietly has told, having thought, that it is my comrade has decided(solved) to reach behind me. But this has appeared the grandmother in already known to me training elastic trousers. She, carrying in a shivering hand a candlestick, began to come nearer to me. Suddenly she has started talking by a silent and dying away vote, but is very precise: " Well that, little rat, is not enough to you and you does not suffice! ". Thus she powerlessly shacked by a disarranged head. ("Cadaver", - I have thought at this moment).
The stage was unpleasant and frightening, but I remained passionless.
" You Leave, - with a quiet rage I have told to her. - I am awfully tired from your presence. You extremely do not like to me & go to fucking mother ".
" How dare you so talk with me ? – old women was in an obvious shock from my words. - Was to us in the house, and now has risen in a pose and sends the owners to fuck! It already limit arrogance! "
" Well, yes, because has bothered. And you now force down me. I ask you not to touch me ".
" Well, stand here, stand!  Villain! Cad." And the grandmother, having turned to me by a back, has gone to an exit.
And I, thrust forehead in any books volume, to concentrate, aloud have given out not quite clear to me a set of words.
End of December:
This Word, frozen in Winter.
As a crystal Lattice in gentle cotton wool.
Inflated chalks powder  in snowdrifts of Snow.
On a white frozen paper of a plane
Itself will be arranged under the laws
Great Cold - and on glass!
And the black Sky will make everything, as it is necessary.
It is ruthless to verbal structures
 And connections,
As well as to the people,
In a Bible Black Cold running.
Great Rider already has pick up his army
Also carries here!

(30122002, is devoted to leaving year).
I stood with the closed eyes, but also so in one minute has felt, that someone from darkness of a corridor, on a floor, below, has crept in my room.
 " The Familiar rustle ", - had time(was in time) to think I, and then, hardly doubt, has opened eyes and began to peer into darkness.



13

I kept by a hand for steel shelves books corner, as if were afraid to lose balance, as in the bus - for the rack. Certainly, here, in this abnormal conditions, it was possible and to get used to any sort of unexpectedness, but nevertheless …
Nevertheless I clearly have made out due to muddy light, as if allocated from a window in a room, at a level of the person thick, rocking in air heavy and is powerful, a head huge rain worm (so I have explained it for myself), whose end was somewhere, probably, there, in deaf(indistinct) blackness of a corridor. It was possible by an obvious image to notice, that the head it worm was thickness about my head. This worm was absolutely blind, without ears and without nose - is smooth, as a monster from film "Alien". Only instead of a terrible telescopic jaws last at it rain worm were accurate plump delicate lips, which, being opened, designated a faultlessly equal small crack. There was such impression, that this blind, without ears & nose dark-brown head tries something plaintively to tell, but, probably, lips е ё and were only for this purpose and are intended, that, that something ready to eat, to swallow, to involve …
And as if in the answer to my ideas this huge head same huge rain worm closely has drawn near my person and lips any more did not compress, and held them with hardly by an appreciable convulsive pressure now all the time open.
" Well what, invite? Involve? Let? " - with inappropriate in this situation by irony I began what for to ask this not clear worm. That suddenly, as in a mark of the consent, became stupidly nod upwards - downwards its heavy head. Is ready to swear - this movement there was a doubtless reliance that me have understood correctly.
" Well that, probably, exit or entrance here only one, -  I was told loudly to worm. – I will come in ".
And I by both hands have undertaken for lips of worm and began them to plant. Those is unexpectedly pliable, as if only it and waited, began to be unwrapped completely freely, and ahead, that is, inside this head, I have seen any white light. It is a little having hesitated, I have moved apart that, what it was possible to name “lips” yet, in the complete growth and crystal-white light has stepped forward - in this already.
I have passed, thus, as it was presented to me, forward, and the strange sensations did not leave me and further. Everywhere was distributed hardly audible crunch of a white cloth. A light source I and could not determine in general: around one pale - white, and is more than anything. Weight by this pale - white muddy cloud surrounded me from different directions. It is not enough of it, it, this weight, as though all the time tried me to clasp, all the time testing the tendency to draw near me closely, and I then felt, that it, white - something damp, is perfect without a smell, as simple, without impurity, water and has no any taste.  This is approached on me from different directions by any thick alternating layers. And in any time I have understood, that it was not alternation of these white thick inflows, white and damp layers, which I was compelled to remove from itself to leave though any personal space ahead of itself, before the person, from sides all this time. This cloud, hypothetical, as borders I did not represent it, rolling itself in what and thus drags also me in itself. I have understood it, when has felt, that I am moved, at all not making steps, that is, even when I am not moved independently. And then below has made out, how ahead of me runs whole, the flight hares is possible to tell: their tails and back paws tossed up are high upwards during jumps and proved almost undoubtedly, that they and dragged, probably, that everything - approaching on me white and me - on themselves somewhere vaguely forward. And ahead of myself, by the way, I practically nothing saw, as there was one this sticking white, through which, on my representations, I distinguished ahead of running hares, merging with these white.
" Can be, this white itself degenerates in these white hares, in this image of movement? And I simply now am, agrees with Lewis Carroll, ordinary witness of dream this white? " I have decided now to make out not only that was dangerous below and ahead, but also from sides, and above itself – this rolling on me environment. And what is exact: from sides and from above as if implicit outlines of completely not clear white birds vaguely flashed whose feathers is gentle from time to time persistently concerned me - and incessantly.
           " What then crunch? " - I only has thought, and shapeless white weight again absolutely lost concrete details, dissolving them in itself. Even running ahead hares are dissolved in general vague whiteness of a uniform damp flow. I expected an attack of an asthma all that time - but was breathed rather freely. I even have recollected the personal feature: I begin to choke even then, when I lay with a head under a blanket, that I can not transfer at all. I always need open, free space.
" It is interesting, what is that, anyway? " When I touched by fingers this white, removing it from myself, always felt that expected or to what was ready to feel. If white down and feathers, - them, and if a damp white fabric, - it. And anything external and independent.
            " As if I am looked in a mirror and I wait the new answer to thousand & one  identical questions! " It is doubtless, something was mirror in behaviour this warm and foggy white to me!
But I have calmed down and has got used, and together with this increased feeling of reliance has increased and divertissements of details in appeared concrete self - moving white. Ahead of myself I have seen the not clearly huge moon half which has sunk in conditional dark-pale horizon of snowdrifts. I, together with flight hares to it, came nearer, and it rose from these snowdrifts to us towards and extended more & more. At last, up to the sizes of my growth or hardly more in a diameter and suddenly dying away have grown, and I have appeared worth almost closely with white shaggy and such fluffy pony-horse.
Hares were dissolved. Pony stood, having lowered a head, as if peering in a snowdrift, what such to chew. I for some reason have accepted to it for something museum stuffed animal, but it suddenly has lifted a head and looking askance suspiciously on me. An eye at it pony was luminous light pink, and pupil was not. It was possible to decide, that is wall-eye, if eye literally did not shine as a light pink bulb.
" And now I should further on it and go, so whether what? "
In reply to these my ideas of the pony suddenly angry has pulled by back legs and has crossed by them whether in a snowdrift, whether in a move white cloth.
             " Is not present, probably, it is not necessary ", - I have decided not, having was frightened, that little horse now will begin kicking, at my attempts to get on it by top. Here again on a bottom is sterilely attracting movement, begin to stream already warm me warm and damp white canvas, somewhere in the party from it the pony, and I obediently again began to make in this direction symbolical steps, on a course of business again moving apart around of myself hard rolling on me white. I  departed, by the way, from more pony, and when has turned back, has seen again abnormally huge moon which is taking seat in the snowdrifts, and my little horse any more did not become.
" The Pony this also is this moon ", - I have decided and soon ahead of itself has seen the new moon appearing in waves of a restless white cloth.
" It is interesting, and what behind the moon will be this time, what there animal? " – already I disturb, already recollecting white sharks, snow leopards and  Bengal white tigers, and also silvery jackals, co-ordinating zoomorphic images with white colour. But when this second moon also was swell to my growth, instead of something animalistic me, it appears, the quite standard, ordinary snowman, large expected, is higher than me by growth, with absolutely familiar, recognising by attributes. That is, it consist of three white spheres, from which smallest was top. But on it the known similarities also came to an end: there was an impression of any incompleteness, not prepared completely, as traditional broom, the bucket and carrot was not. Instead of eyes, where it were expected pieces of coal, of a nose and mouth there were only underlined failures. And they, these failures, have forced me, nevertheless, to check up this not clear invoice by fingers, groping , to the touch. " If it is submitted to me by a snowman, instead of alive dangerous pony, I and should feel a familiar cold of Winter and moisture on fingers from a touch of heat. If it is snow, it and should thaw as snow, and that not understand, that is around here!! "
But as I only have touched a cheek of a snowball by a palm, then has drawn aside е ё as at impact by a current, not having had time at all to disassemble, a cold snowman whether or not, as has felt completely alive movement by the palm any white organisms, at my touch are stir fast & instant.
" Worms! " - has flashed in a head, and here hardly audible crunch of a cloth in one instant up to an almost deafening crash has jumped up, and with an echo, and me with force has dragged, as I have understood, in the return party. Dragged by general, flow, softly pushing me, I just caught a glimpse, for the sake of curiosity, have looked back and again has seen the moon, sitting in a snowdrift promptly decreasing in the sizes. Ahead begin black, crunch has achieved a limit of force of a sound, and me as though have pushed out back, in a black room. Only I now stood not by a back to a book case, and face to it, as if it is not known when and as was unwrapped on hundred eighty degrees …
" Also what, is long to me to wait for you? " - comrade behind the back suddenly too at one time which has appeared in one room with me quietly has asked me.
" And whadda you wait? " - from unexpectedness having set a pertinent question, as though in last minutes with me nothing occurred, I have turned to the friend. Here I have seen, that he holds in both hands any large retorts, glass and half filled by any white muddy liquid attached to each other by a thin metal support as in chemical laboratories. They, these retorts, also were connected with the hose, smartly built - in them, thick, plastic, transparent and goffered.
" Well though a hose this hold, inconveniently to carry them in bathroom, they heavy! And to do by it here there is nothing, and experiment small we shall make with them ".
I was directed after the friend in bathroom, holding as a train or veil newly married this hose.
" Give me a lighter ", - the comrade has told, and itself has fixed a support with retorts for a hook in a wall above the  bath, has taken it is not known whence undertaken two spirit-lamps and has put them under retorts on bottom of a bath. Then has set fire to them by my lighter and has told: " Look, that now will be. Only eyes try slightly to cover ".
And I began to look, how slowly began to be heated up a liquid of colour of coal. In the beginning it start to move the surface, then has gone any pale smoke.
" Almost sublimation, on Fraud, or on chemistry. Watch up a hose, it now will begin to move - that to the face has not got ". From a hose laying motionlessly, began to follow not clear white, for some reason begin flicking phosphoric sparks, smoke which has laid soon bottom of a bath completely. But in one minute the liquid raged, inflated, soap bubbles in retorts, feverishly and furiously being shacked, busted, and hose wonderfully menacingly, like a cobra, has risen above our heads and already started up a white smoke without everyones sparks. The smell was any strange - something like ground, up to such degree freezing through, that it already smells sweet chocolate bars slightly. In any case by anything burner bitter tasted inorganic not smell is perfect.
"Now … be attentive, is cautious! " - friend silently has told, and I have seen, how in retorts, inside storming chalk of snowstorm, two luminous balls were formed which suddenly have rushed from retorts in a uniform hose towards each other. The deafening clap was distributed, as at electrical short circuit, and with this clap from a hose luminous white substance - mass, which sonorously  knocking against the ceiling of a bath has taken off with a sound of a fuse from neck of a bottle. A hose after that by any pulsing waves of the beginnings to throw out white mass, more & more dim in comparison with previous - in direct decrease of an arithmetic progression - and soon spat  and expectorated all around - not only ceiling, but also all walls, towel, Turkish towels, bath-robes dressing gowns, round mirror …
We roared with the friend in all this throat, because was ridiculous to observe of independent behaviour of a hose, alive and aggressive. We, besides, were made laugh with idea, that we played dirty tricks so it is original manner by this white filth  the bathroom of poetess and her the grandmother.
Were distributed rich slaps, flied in darkness luminous dying - white sparks. Soon hose, lay waste itself, without feeling has fallen on the bottom of a bath. But the friend for some reason did not begin to remove spirit-lamps from under already sooty, heated retorts. I already have made movement to remove it, were afraid, that the glass will not sustain and will scatter - and it already would be hereby serious by hooliganism from our party - as has confronted with a sight of the friend. And " words stopped at me on my lips ": I for the first time was frightened of the comrade. In his eyes frankly has flashed any bloody-minded, spiteful, mad light.
" Don’t touch, " - that my friend has told by a sight. Also began to look perplexed at contents of retorts. And it suddenly has darkened not black, but red, and I have guessed, that in retorts already rage & rave the real dark-crimson blood, bubbling and tears outside. And now I already with horror have seen, how from a bath to us towards slowly rises dark-bloody, as if not plastic, but metal, the direct hose ready already to shoot in is staunch environmental blood.
" Of a Gene, you now will drown all apartment in blood, " - I have not sustained.
" And what, became a pity to you someone? " - in an emphasis and furiously friend has asked me and has slammed fire in spirit-lamps, nevertheless. The hose here has fallen, the bloody luminescence in retorts has disappeared, and peace whiteness of a solution in them here has begun to rock - as if anything and was not. Only have remained dark grey stains on a white ceiling and walls. From these spots clearly smelled by mould and mushrooms.
I slowly, having left the friend in a bath, have left in a corridor. Sensation that I already am, in intuitive start up, but absolute understanding that actually occurs,  amplified more & more!!
Already safely approaching to a window with frozen rocks and breakage’s, I  understood or guessed about everything, looking on cold patterns on glass. I am hungry to inform about the opening, same open space as releasing glass of water! And my thirst should be satisfied by vision of all night space of Winter - without concrete by drunk stench and musty-close of kitchens. It is understandable, that at first of all - from itself, from internal, and only then already clean external space and  raked a neglected smoked dirty on an exit. I walked to a window in hope to start a course by this internal unfolding.
And as if me towards something massive, huge with furious force has pressed on windows from the external party. And I for the first time have seen, how in a reality the metaphor " suddenly is embodied cut a strong frost ". It was such terrible cold which has approached over windows of apartments. It were any not drawing or cinema effects - I have seen by the eyes, as is instant at windows the patterns of a frost, but not just one moment and at once in all places, and as though by platen moved on from below upwards and from left to right have appeared.
" It is her - him dactylography, " - I have understood, thinking about Winter both in man's, and in a female sort.
" It is interesting, than it but was put on windows - palm, finger, leg, cheek? " - I had time to think, and me suddenly has rejected from a window unusually easily, as a fluff, and in a window began to beat snow-flakes and any snow dust. And I, having flown by a back forward some meters, stick, as to me was presented, to a wall, on which that white slime received by us has not dried up so to tell, in laboratory conditions yet. This slime has appeared of high force of glue and durability. But I have stuck to a wall of a corridor, in which a strange image on walls was this slime, as it is very strange: not standing, vertically, but is horizontal, in parallel to floor. " Sit in heat, " - as it seemed, have let off quietly behind a window the notorious statement. I  had not time to come round yet, as is unexpected from a room my friend and girl - poetess silently has come up, and she held my friend under a hand, and in another hand 1held grandmother candlestick. Passing by me, comrade grumble: " Has left me!? ", and girl quietly sneer roared, slightly look askance on me. After them any flied winged devil-trash , vibrating by wings and skin in air as a dragonfly. So they cool marched on kitchen. I have heard, as the friend there, on kitchen, removes chairs, they take seat and then about what speak by loud whisper. Like having agreed, they just one time have broken off. And then from kitchen my comrade was put out and has told me: "It have decided with you! Now can fall! "
He again has dived into kitchen, and I here have flied from a wall and is sick enough in all weight has hit about a floor.
"Though would warn, scoundrel! - I loudly has told. - What still for " have decided" such?! "
" It is good, I collect all then, " - also girl loudly has told to my friend who is taking place on kitchen, leaving in a corridor. And she, with fantastic advantage, on tip-toe, trying to not move ironed pelvis, left in darkness of a corridor, not having looked at all on me.
" Of a Gene! Where you there?! " - I was in a disturbing presentiment, but this of the snakes has not responded at all. And then, there, at the end of a corridor I have heard rustle of steps, coming nearer to me. In a corridor there was a whole procession - company of the aesthetes, in complete structure. They carried before themselves a wooden round table, and ahead there was a girl, carrying in hands something like a prickly crown. Everything  was dragged directly to me without words, and I in this place have tested really most terrible minutes of my life. It and truly resembled any night nightmare, but I did not sleep! It is all really occurred, and most terrify, that, similar, I became not simply observer - stranger, but main character or general object of consideration.
At this moment kitchen there was my comrade and has told: " What, has wanted on fresh air? To leave so to tell, in space, outside? " The Procession has stopped, and the friend has approached to me, has taken for a hand above than elbow me and has told: " We shall go to them, and main - nothing be afraid. Just consider it foolish as draw ". I always and entirely trusted to the friend, because his better quality is an absolute absence of meanness and hypocrisy under the attitude to me. We quietly came to a procession.
" A Joke is so a joke ", - I have thought. Эдик with "Вампир", already quite normal, have lowered on a floor this little table, and I have seen at the centre its round turned saucer, around of which were arranged in the alphabet of the letter, and also figure in an arithmetic progression.
" Sit directly on it ", - the friend to me has told to me. And I sat on saucer, and environmental have formed around of me a correct ring, having undertaken for hands. Suddenly at this moment (all directly have pulled) give a horrible cry the maiden, as I have understood, causing someone. And I suddenly have felt, as saucer under  me moved, making rotary movements, and I began to not move simply, and to spin on a table, according to the initiative saucer under me & with me!
" What for me have planted, of any letters and figures it is not visible! " - turning with saucer, had time to think I, though on my forehead at itself felt constantly varying warm a luminescence. Also has decided about myself, that, probably, everyone wait, that in me whose soul, caused from gloomy chaos will suddenly be installed.
But the maiden, having cried out, suddenly has broken off, and saucer has stopped, and she solemnly has set up to me on a head this improvised a crown.
" Good, he is ready ", - my friend quietly has told, and me all this company has lifted together with a little table and saucer in air. And we were set, as I have understood, in the largest room. There me, again, with a little table and saucer have set up on the large desk worth at a window, back to it. Then all sat down on knees near to this table, except for my comrade, which has remained to stand just opposite to me.
Some time he as if examined me, then loudly has sighed, has told: " That is all, the start, has gone ", and with force has pushed me directly in this window. I at all do not remember from unexpectedness those sensations, when broke by a back a frame, glass, as flied to a brutal cold, as fell in a snowdrift. The perception to me has returned, when from above to me the friend began to shout: " Run!!!, run, there, there, and up to the end, up to the  end faster!!! " - also specified to me a direction on wooden wrecks. From the window, broken into smithereens by my back, stick another some disturbed heads out.

   
    15

And I have run, where my friend specified, that is, on those wooden houses, that were through a road. They settled down, as I have understood, on any uncertain slope. That is, this elite the house stood on an eminence, and I now was born freely enough under a mountain in a rigid winter night cold in those clothes, in what was in an apartment. And the cold in one second has given about itself to know. I earlier never analysed its movements on the body. It begins from below, slowly rising, gets all above. The wide paws of a cold clasp legs, compress with terrible force knee caps and are selected to a stomach. It methodically and the severe progress ice cold on me even also did not pay attention to my mad run, which could, generally, me to warm up. But, probably, I was too easily dressed. And the wooden houses, all came down downwards, also did not think to come to an end. It was the present wooden city from overlooked houses, sheds, extensions and absolutely shabby wooden wrecks, with which and the name was not. Also there has come the moment, when I could not run: I began to jam in snowdrifts on shot streets - snow here nobody removed, likely, from a beginning of Winter. Knee caps already for a long time have turned in crystal fragile objects, which I bore with the large care, were afraid casually to break. Nevertheless, the top mine was in hot moisture from run.
But when I finally have exhausted, it became clear, that I in painful expectation of end have reached territory of this wooden city, though organism mine refused to trust this fact: there was of high hardness a tension of this expectation. I literally, go slowly was dragged in any court yard, black and out of sense, but from which something proceeded similar to heat. And it has proved to be true.
" More is warmer, almost hotly, and more, is hot!! " And I have appeared in any close little house, moving on it is not clear through what doors: all that was in such disorganised status, that the interior is completely free, without any cultural reserves, passed in the ex-terrier and back … I was not stipulated: as alive creature I gave the characteristics, rating of these wooden structures.
As has appeared, in these close interiors of almost warm blackness - the cold began to move down downwards. The hardly appreciable window was suddenly highlighted, and after some seconds I could already distinguish a huge iron bed of ancient epoch - with iron little balls and spring grid. These springs gave about themselves to know, as instead of not clear hips of the stuff which has been fallen down on a bed, on it someone is obvious laid and hardly turned.
Soon I completely obviously have made out worth near to a bed up to a pain familiar and bothered to me Felt boots.
" The old Man! " - the inspiration has flashed, and that hour per the answer the one who laid on a bed, was unwrapped and, as I have made out, turn on a back. It was really that grandfather, which I saw at houses, in the house with the old woman … He slowly by hand has pulled out the beard and lay out it atop of a blanket. And then with a gnash was pulled and has exposed outside in the direction of me the incredibly huge soles. They were similarly to dried up wood - brown and cracked - and besides creaked at the easiest movement of legs of the grandfather, which quietly did not lay, and all time another moved and, at last, by finger of one leg scrape with a completely wooden sound a sole. And at this moment with last movement of legs of the grandfather, I have seen, how from one felt boot began to rise a light green smoke. I could not believe the eyes: the smoke soon has become colourless, and from felt boot to get out there was abundantly clearly lean, dressed in unimaginable trash a boy gnome of growth - the size about this felt boot. He absolutely silently has crept out, as if was poured out outside, running like a little waves to legs of old man, suddenly unexpectedly has pulled out luminous green, as the snake, long, in the growth, language and became carefully lick  to the grandfather his huge, wood skin, soles. The old man has started hardly and painfully moan, as if were going, but not wishing that to rise. And it is valid, began to occur changes.
The bed, more correctly, only top part of it, where the head of old man  laid, began to rise, bottom remained on a place, but was distributed in big space. And together with it began to occur other changes: the window gleam began also to rise upwards, as if also window began to grow in height and hardly to extend. As became to disappear imperceptibly roughness and details of rags, as if it all began to get a firm and strict kind. And soon grandfather already has appeared in the certain sedentary rule, and from his knees with a roar on a floor the extensive flow of a black velvet has felled. I was so arrested on these surprising changes, that at all has not noticed, whether this green boy from under legs of the grandfather or somewhere there was removed and has got lost, buried under a black velvet. And at this moment I have understood, as far as the old man became abnormally high - in total he was higher than me, and in a sedentary situation, time in four.



16
     (Ending)
And, on a background vaguely flickering high, as if gothic, windows I clearly saw of the sitting grandfather in a indistinct black dress, and on a head at him something too is obvious flicking - whether silver, whether ice - the sparks ran across from hardly appreciable movies of a head of the old man.
In the intense short silence I stood and looked at the old man, which as if not noticing me, has declined a head and looked, probably, somewhere downwards. The persons him it was not visible absolutely, only gray hair of his huge beard hardly shine on a background is impenetrable also of coal-black velvet.
Suddenly he has unwrapped in my party a head and has told by a completely ordinary vote, without any heavy bass, without an echo, it is simple so: " Look there, in a corner, can, that you will find that for yourself ". Such quiet, colloquial build speeches instantly has worked on me, and I here was directed to this the known corner is not known and has found out a door any little chamber. Having opened it, I clearly have seen the rare ancient corner rare ancient and military stuff: this military equipment was not known of what times - most likely, all times - swords, helmets, arbalestes, spears, fragments of boards. Having chosen myself all old black sword and arbalest, I already precisely knew what to do. I should go - and it was clear - in a direction to the that house, where I was earlier. Out on the street, brought by snow, I have seen, that together with me any old men, children - black figures in rags, fluttering on an ice wind, - and too to the house creep.
" But why children and old men, and they? - I asked myself, but here found the answer: - Children are infinite new keys, and old men - constant locks! " And here continued to think further: " And how then others? The women? The men? They what for formations? Average between keys and locks! Doors! Selling, prostitution of a Door! "
Legs I suddenly have not felt, as if has come off ground, and, mechanically having looked downwards, has seen under itself is impenetrable black horse. I shout from delight, of course! First time in life went by top! And, having looked back on the parties, has noticed, that everyone, who went with me beside, too do not go, and skip. But strange business: the old men were, as well as I, on horses, and, as I have understood, children - on is inexplicable huge black long hearing dogs and huge smooth black cats.
Having estimated, at last, all situation as a whole, I have understood, that ride at the  centre vast black ARMADA, ahead of which, heading it all, the known grandfather skipped to me, at which I have managed in past another time to visit inside sexual bodies.
It turned out so, as if we by all by this great band carry on storm of this house, as the huge grandfather suddenly and aggressively has cast away in the party a hand, in which, as a beam, the long white sabre was lighted. All that black army troops has made same, and I, according to common movement up above a head my sword, which by a strange image have turned in dazzling white sword.
Swords, circle best white swords, high-jumped in air of Winter night in black, carried army! And in the dark, deaf, indistinct sky, scary huge, began suddenly to appear as on a cloth before a monstrous film projector various huge pictures: a card table, candle, group of the excited people in officer, Gusar clothes, which roughly discussed something - silently. Then has acted, as in a negative, white дворец in the black sky, then benches and bridges, arabesque silhouettes of black pig-iron lanterns on a background pale-deeded of the white ice river …
That it is by an inexplicable image excited and inspired - probably, because of such horrible of scales of projections - pictures, probably, that these pictures is obvious on something hinted …
We have flown up to the house, which suddenly has appeared as though somewhere from below, and we from above, as if skipped already by air. I clearly have made out windows of our apartment, from which went of a dim evening desktop lamp. The window in the beginning had whole crowd, is disturbing twisting necks, peering in our party. But at our prompt occurrence all the rooms have rushed somewhere deep into, and at a window I precisely have seen the friend, jumping in delight, which something shouted to me, probably, met me and waved a hand.
But me was proud not up to him, as we have flied up above the house, having jumped it, were going black thunder to be carried further. But from this jump I have fallen by a back on horse back, for one second having fixed without finish the black sky in sharp, uncountable and fine stars. And already through an instant has understood, that falling, is appreciable enough and is sick has hit by a knee about ice sidewalk - at me even the cap has flied. I have lifted a head and has seen grey bearded of the heavy high old man, which with an easy, hardly appreciable irritation (probably, I have interrupted by the fall his significant and thoughtful story) waited for me. I, hasty having set up a cap on a head, having recovered, have run, limping, behind him. It is understandable, that the interesting, fascinating conversation will be long. And between business solemnly thought:

Eternal song to a Cold, Snow, and Ice,
Killing, Releasing and Clearing
For!
Eternal song Winter night,
Exact place not knowing
Never!
Eternal song to This Season,
Beginning and Asserting Always New
And Always!
Eternal song in Frost  to Secret,
Coming and Inevitable
Forever!





(Curtain drops. Sounds  TESTAMENT  with  Down For Life).



I thank you, My God, That has given to finish this work!
Yours Forever.




Editing: 02.09.04 17:01:14
Editing: 01.10.04 20:48
Finishing editing: 07.11.04 22:05:12

















Sunday, 23 September 2007




Translated 9/27/07 4:02