The myths of self-descipline

When I was kid, my grandmother always told me a story from her childhood. Being inspired by Soviet spies who they called “razvedchiki”, she wanted to develop self-discipline. She used to put the candy she really liked on the table and not eat them for half an hour. This is similar to the psychological experiments which are conducted on kids. These experiments connect the ability to refuse temptations and success in life. In many cases there was a straight connection. Though I admired my grandmother's childhood willpower trainings, I had a hard time finding the connection between strong power of will and success in life. I've known many people who were successful in their fields, and we all know the examples of famous people who cannot refuse temptations and regularly continue to portray destructive behavior.

Multiple researches have indeed discovered the connection to be false. Psychologists came to a conclusion that many of people who participated in tests and said they can easily overcome temptations, are not the gods of willpower they seem to be. Recent research in the University of McGill tested 159 university students and concluded that students who practiced more self-control than others, were not more successful than others. More importantly, most successful were those who had less temptations in general.

When I have a conversation with people on topics such as literature or science and the person cannot participate in it because they haven’t read certain materials, it doesn’t even cross my mind do mock them for it. People who do that portray pure bigotry as self-development is not always making yourself do what you don’t want to do. Most people who know something well are like this because they enjoyed the process of acquiring knowledge in their field. So when I face a lack of knowledge while talking to others, I simply try to share my knowledge or hop on the next topic because I know that our erudition is highly interest and motivation based. The researches support my position and say:
Masters of self-control enjoy things and habits that many people find right, such as sports, but have a hard doing on a regular basis.
People with strong willpower have just accepted better habits.
People with good habits are more successful because the routine they are accustomed to simplifies their lives
Some people simply have less temptations.

So in order to be more successful you have to develop a healthy routine, take on and get used to good habits and find what motivates you. But blindly trying to refuse pleasant things and focusing of failing to use your willpower leads to constant stress, low self-esteem, problems with health and prevents us from finding solutions that really work.