Mind Transformation 222

One month later.
A new notebook.
222.
Paul Johnson “The History of the Modern World from 1917 to 1980s”
T, S – 5, d – 30, p, g, R – 20, c, m, s – 2, i – 4.
Well, I come back to my most powerful practice—daily writing. I’ve been relaxing during the entire month, so now it’s time to move forward. I suppose to start by describing my deeds which remained outside of my observation and talking a little bit about my mood.
Alright, it was an attempt to relax, and it wasn’t quite successful. I was studying a lot, even though I had a lack of motivation and abandoned my writing practice. I read a book about Shakespearian tragedies by A.C. Bradley but not finished and switched on Paul Johnson. I also started reading Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar” with commentaries and went to the third act. Moreover, I watched Crash Course “US History,” but didn’t pay a lot of attention to it, and many other videos which I have no power to recall. I spent a lot of time for procrastination in social networks and watching stupid movies, but since it was necessary for my rest, there was nothing wrong with that.
Now, I can see how my habit to write every day has weakened, and nothing is clear. By clear I mean such kind of writing that allows you to say that you have no problem with self-expression and your thoughts fall on paper steady and smoothly. Now, it’s not the case; I almost feel embarrassed moving the pen. Words, as it seems to me, don’t want to arrive. Maybe it’s better to start by writing half of a page? Not. Stop fucking excuses! Good, bad—who cares? Your task is to write and don’t think so much about clearness. Today, it’s good; tomorrow, bad. Doesn’t matter! You do it only for yourself.

To the beginning: http://www.proza.ru/2018/03/10/1530
Next: http://www.proza.ru/2019/01/17/1482