Mind Transformation 317

317.
III
Jung “Two Essay on Analytical Psychology” (finished), Lectures: Justice.
running 7km, i - 1, s - 1.
I’m thinking about changing the course of my writing. It’s damn dull to write the same things over and over again. Maybe, somehow, it’s productive, and considering this type of writing as a tool that helps focusing my attention on some important tasks, I can easily justify it. Yes, it’s dull and so what? I don’t do it to entertain someone including myself. The main purpose of this writing is simply an attempt to look inside of my consciousness and analyze its content. It’s an ordinary technique, a usual exercise to keep mental health and work on a target language. Unrealistic expectations lead to superfluous emotions. My experience with writing in Russian has shown that a train of daily notes brings terrific results in a relatively short period of time. According to this, I’d thought that doing the same thing in English for about a year I’ll be able to write about everything I’m doing in life by using English as well as I can do it in Russian. However, this is not the case. I assume that I need more time to turn my writing into something awfully great, though it’s not only the matter of time. The ability to write brilliantly rests on many other factors that shouldn’t be underestimated. One of them, the vital one, is to write your real thoughts instead of ghastly rubbish to sound intelligent. Real thoughts! What’s important for me right now? What’s going on in my life? What am I doing? And so on.
Today, for example, I’ve finished reading my first Jung’s book. I figured out almost nothing though. Anima, animus, persona, individuality, neurosis, godlikeness, analysis of dreams, unconscious, repressed wishes—all these terms seem very familiar, but I can’t find any picture in my mind to clarify their meaning and make them comprehensible to the sufficient degree.

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