Mind Transformation 342

342
Yesterday, when I was walking at night, I realized that paying attention to and looking at these damn beautiful girls is what makes my head empty. Really, I tried to avoid looking at anybody and found this exercise pretty amazing. All of a sudden, I started thinking and asking myself different questions about this peculiar stuff. Why do I look at girls if I’m not going to have any affairs with them? It doesn’t give me anything. I’m walking like a damn idiot looking around without any purpose, staring at hundreds or even thousands cute bitches, losing my mind, and eventually asking myself why I can’t focus on thinking. Of course I can’t think in such circumstances because thinking requires concentration and a special state of mind—pure mind. Well, I don’t wanna play a role of a pedant who can’t see beauty anywhere but in his pedantic judgments. I’m just trying to say that looking at girls makes sense only if there is a need to pick up one of them. In the first part of my vacation it was kinda curious, and I wanted to meet the queen of hearts, so all of that had meaning. However, after the “beautiful girl” and four unsuccessful attempts to spend an evening with her, even though the last three attempts were pure fantasy, I lost my motivation in this stuff. There are not so many days remained before I leave the sea, and I don’t wanna spend them for feeding my sexual instincts.
Anyway, it’s a good example of how thinking about girls and all this crap affects my cognitive abilities. Perhaps there are many other reasons to degrade like a new environment, and the lack of daily habits, and all other sorts of stuff. All these superficial things and many invisible others have a huge impact on the direction of my thoughts, though girls obviously distract me more than anything else.

To the beginning: http://www.proza.ru/2018/03/10/1530
Next: http://www.proza.ru/2019/05/31/1154