Mind Transformation 350

350
i-2, s-1, M.
Things are getting better. At morning I accomplished the whole complex of exercises which helped me to recall how it feels when the body works in its way. I still have pain in my forehead and there is lots of mucus, but anyway everything is getting better. I feel that. I even came back to my work with editing and publishing my journals. I also had a short walk at evening, so I’ll be in a good shape very soon. Hence, I must finish complaining about my health and start using writing for purpose. I have to direct my behavior by doing that like it was earlier. I know that writing gives me so much power, and when I use it meaningfully it always brings outstanding results. Now I really need to change my current way of living. I’ve been doing a lot of shit last days. I couldn’t organize a sufficient level of self-discipline and procrastinated more than necessary. From now, I’m going to write every day and do everything to improve my writing. Writing always helped me to fight with my uncontrolled desires; I simply repressed them by using the right language. I knew intuitively what I wanted to do and what kind of a person I would like to become, but this knowledge and my behavior contradicted each other very much. When I made a thorough analysis I figured out how to use writing to go in a right way, though my repressed desires also learned gradually how to use the language to become free. There was so much depth in my Russian journal, which I had to leave to start everything from the beginning. There is certainly no way back, and I have to get ahead.

To the beginning: http://www.proza.ru/2018/03/10/1530
Next: http://www.proza.ru/2019/06/13/864