Mind Transformation 369

369
The injections had no effect. Maybe it requires more time—I don’t know. Today, I’ve had almost the same condition like it was at Friday. I noticed that pain appeared after I was thinking for a few hours. Then, I switched to watching movies, but the pain was lasting for the whole day. Fucking pain! Fucking disease! Fucking foolishness! Almost a month has gone and I still can’t find a solution to the damn problem. What is it? Why does my body fight so weak against this shit? Where is my immune system? What’s going on? Okay—
Amor fati, as usual. No need for panic, no need for dismay. Just watch yourself and put everything you’re doing and thinking down on paper. You can’t escape this, so just watch. Eventually everything is gonna be alright. A couple of weeks and you’ll forget about the pain, forget about the disease, forget about everything unpleasant that’s happening now. It’s just a point on your way to nothing. Be grateful for that. The more pain you’re able to feel, the more alive you are. As you know, it’s only feeling, intensive feeling which is here to indicate that your body is in trouble. You’re doing everything right and complaining doesn’t make any sense. Somehow it will be ended up sooner or later. Analyze the difference between your behavior and thinking in this condition and how it works when there is nothing to worry about. You have to understand that it’s not punishment—it’s a lesson. Study it thoroughly.   

To the beginning: http://www.proza.ru/2018/03/10/1530
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