Mind Transformation 372

372
Yesterday’s attempt to ask important questions was nothing more than just another symptom of the extended disease. Obviously, all serious concerns have to be delayed until better times come. I can’t think clearly when my body is full of chemistry. I’m aware of that something has to be changed, but I’m not sure if it’s right time. Maybe there is nothing wrong at all, and this kind of frustration will disappear automatically after I get over.
Recently I said that my writing is awful and it’s still on the same level where it was a year ago. Well, today I edited my journal of the last year—actually only one page of it as usual—and what was there differed from what I’m doing now like the yellow color form orange. Perhaps there is no big difference in my thoughts, but the way I put them down definitely has changed. I fixed almost every sentence from the page to make it more natural and fluent, so that at the end of the edition there was a totally different text.
Another reason of being unsatisfied with my writing might be the lack of new words. I’m studying lots of new words but applying them in my writing quite rarely. Although, probably, it’s not important at all, and if I can say everything I want by using a given vocabulary, then why should I care about improving it? There is no need to make my language more sophisticated than necessary. I just want to feel confident in writing, that’s it. New words will come with practice. It’s just the beginning. I can’t even imagine how far I can go moving with the same velocity in five years. What’s about 10 years? Or 20 years? I need only time and, of course, good health. In such a condition as I’m in right now all talks about further learning are just mere talks.

To the beginning: http://www.proza.ru/2018/03/10/1530
Next: http://www.proza.ru/2019/07/14/746