Mind Transformation 378

378
Dickens. Behavioral Biology 7.
d – 35.
In the second part of the day I lapsed into a stupid behavior. Seemed like my energy dropped down and I couldn’t do anything but leaping from one silly thing to another. Again, there was the desire to play video games which, in spite of its absurdity, took over my thoughts for a moment. I successfully overcame it, but the rest of the day was a bloody catastrophe. I randomly watched lots of videos, jerked off, and felt almost hopelessly.
Well, maybe I’d better say something about the lectures that I was watching these last days. So what would I say? I understood very little of the material, and my attention was hardly focused even during a half of the time while I was watching these lectures. Anyway, I hope it will be clarified gradually and at the end of the course I get it better; so there is no reason to give up.
Today I was offered a job. One fellow offered to go to Moscow for a month and do some sort of building work. I said I need to recover after antibiotics and be sure that my disease won’t get back. So I said I’ll call back in a few days. Okay, there is a chance to earn for about 50, 000 rub. I can live for a half of a year on this stack. It’d be better not to miss this opportunity. It also can help me to refresh my mind and get rest from merciless studying, though I’ll certainly take the journal with me to mark thoughts which are supposed to come in a new environment.   

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